


Guardians

by quasiouster (QuasiOuster)



Category: The Good Doctor (TV 2017)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Minor Character Death, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-14
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:15:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 120,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26453989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuasiOuster/pseuds/quasiouster
Summary: AU. Season 3 divergence. After a tragedy, Claire's world is changed forever. Neil steps up to help her through it.
Relationships: Claire Browne & Neil Melendez, Claire Browne/Neil Melendez
Comments: 398
Kudos: 224





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> At long last here's the story I've been working on for well over a year. I started it at the end of season two to explore a little more about Claire's life. We're going to take a pretty major divergence. 
> 
> And I'm doing a thing I almost never do -- I'm starting to post the story before I'm finished writing the whole thing. But fear not. It's pretty long, about 20 or so chapters (and who wants all that at one time). And 85% of it is done with the whole thing outlined. I think this will push me to finish it and stop getting distracted with other stories. 
> 
> I will update as often as I can, aiming at a few times a week. There are some ups and downs in the story, but mostly it's a lot of fun moments. I'm not trying to be too heavy right now. And this is blissfully earthquake-free. 
> 
> It's a little out there in term of story ideas, but I hope you enjoy it.

Claire and Neil stood side by side as they stared down into the crib, each deep in their own thoughts of love and gratitude, sacrifice and family. All the things that had changed in such a short amount of time.

Neil leaned over the sturdy wooden crib, elbows resting against the rail and staring down at the blanket his mother had insisted on making when he’d told her about the baby. Nestled in the corner lay the stuffed Stanford Tree that Claire regularly threatened to burn as offensive to her UCSF honor. The monitor remained clipped to the corner in its usual nighttime spot. He could sense Claire beside him, still and quiet in the darkness, afraid to disturb the very air around her. He didn’t have to look back to recognize the intense gaze in her eyes, the softness brimming with emotion.

Sammy’s fingers curled and uncurled before resting back in slumber. His soft cheek, perfectly delicate and sculpted, ticked reflexively in sleep, perhaps dreaming about the hearty dinner he’d enjoyed a few hours ago. Every now and again his tiny nostrils flared with soft breaths, his nose a familiar feature that the woman next to him shared. Claire had dressed him in his favorite pajamas – or at least she claimed they were his favorite. In truth, the plaid onesie had been _her_ favorite since he’d picked it out in a baby store in Palo Alto.

Not that Sam had needed any new clothes when he’d bought it or that Neil had intended to go into the store in the first place. But he’d spotted the outfit in the window on the way to his tailor and couldn’t help himself.

The boy looked comfortable – not too hot or too cold, settled into the cushion of his warm bed and surrounded by his favorite stuffed animal friends. He’d gotten extra cuddles before nodding off on Neil’s shoulder but would only let Claire put him down for his nightly slumber. If anyone else tried, he’d wiggle himself awake and whine until she rubbed his stomach and sang to him a little. So spoiled.

They stayed that way, watching Sammy sleep, for long minutes, holding steady. Vigilant. Then Neil backed away, standing again at Claire’s shoulder.

He sighed as he tore his eyes from the crib, an unreadable expression replacing his previous one of contemplation and an almost overwhelming wave of emotion as he turned his gaze toward the woman next to him. She hadn’t wavered in her attention to the crib as the flicker of a smile played at her lips. Seeing it felt like a caress to his soul. He reached out for her and felt the brush of her hand, her fingers, and then her palm as he held onto her. He squeezed slightly and felt her lean into him. The corners of her mouth turned up at the pleasure of his gesture.

When that wasn’t enough for Neil, he slipped his hand from hers and stepped back to embrace her from behind, pulling her softness and warmth into him. He closed his eyes as he felt her melt into him, her view never leaving the crib. After a beat, she reached along his arms holding him so tightly to her; this time she took his hands, entwined their fingers, hanging onto him in return. Brushing a kiss to the top of her head, he felt more than heard her sigh against him.

He only noticed he’d been rocking her when she stopped their movements to lean in closer to the crib, watching Sam breathe, savoring each one. Gliding his eyes from the beauty of Claire’s face to the perfection of Sam’s, Neil felt as if he’d ended up right where he was always meant to be. At their side.

Neil didn’t know what would happen tomorrow. Huge decisions awaited the both of them. But, for now, this moment of contentment would last a lifetime.

_TBC_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess, technically, most of this story is told in flashback...

_Fifteen months earlier…_

Claire closed her locker and checked her watch hoping it wasn’t too late to pick up some produce from the market on her way home. Her mother had called with a craving for cucumbers – and a long list of other items she claimed they _needed_. Claire wanted to remind her that pregnancy cravings typically didn’t last after the baby had been born, but she wasn’t interested in getting into it with her. Her mother had been cranky the last few weeks, understandably with a newborn to look after, although the fact that she was being completely supported by her daughter should have been something to be thankful for.

But this was Breeze Browne and things like “thank you” and “gratitude” weren’t concepts too familiar to her.

On the eve of her first solo surgery, Claire’s mother had shown up on her doorstep at one AM after getting evicted from yet another apartment. Even more surprising, she showed up pregnant, refusing to tell Claire who the father was or having any plan whatsoever about raising another baby without steady work or a place to live. Claire had been livid both at the predicament and the way her mother always found new ways to guilt her into cleaning up her messes.

When the anger subsided, though, another emotion set in. She'd probably describe it as along the lines of excitement, maybe even joy, not that she’d give her mom the satisfaction of knowing that. A baby? A younger sibling? That meant she'd become somebody’s sister!

It would truly make her part of a real family.

And this innocent little baby wouldn’t be given any say in choosing the complicated mother or situation they’d be born into. She’d felt bad thinking of her baby sibling as one of her mom’s “messes.” The least she could do was help give this new person the opportunities and stability she’d never had growing up.

So, she’d let her mom move in with a set of conditions about a mile long.

After the initial shock wore off – and a few joint therapy sessions – Claire started to get used to the idea of being part of this new family dynamic with her mother. It terrified her to think of her little brother or sister having the same nightmare upbringing she did, so she vowed that she would always look out for them, even if it meant keeping her mother in her life.

Even more of a surprise was how much she enjoyed those months of her mom’s pregnancy. For the most part.

Something about their situation or the hormones or whatever mellowed Breeze out. She committed fully to following her doctor’s orders to stabilize her mental health, and they fell into a comfortable routine, even moved into a two-bedroom apartment to give them more space. Claire insisted that her mother would have to get her own place eventually, but not right away. Cohabiting wasn’t _that_ blissful. But for a short while, she’d enjoyed getting to know this version of her mother.

And her residency was going well, too. Maybe something about domestic life had mellowed her out as well, focused her even more while helping manage the pressure of the competitive environment.

She’d gotten through her first lead surgery with only a minimal level of drama. Melendez had warned her to focus when he saw her getting too wound up over her patient’s home life, but she didn’t know how to be any other kind of doctor. At the end of the day, she felt satisfied that Melendez accepted that too, respected it even in backing her up and convincing her patient’s mother that Claire would provide the best care her daughter could possibly receive.

Claire watched from the sidelines as Shaun navigated the new adventures in his love life. She got to know Morgan and Park better as they all jockeyed to best position themselves for chief resident. She’d built good relationships with her bosses, especially Lim and Melendez. In fact, she and Melendez had spent a good chunk of time together, first going on the occasional run before or after their shift and then working on a paper set to be published in the Fall. He’d gotten a kick out of hearing all of her ridiculous plans for her new sibling.

When her little brother decided to make his first appearance, her mother got the royal treatment from the hospital. Breeze reveled in it like she was the queen of the court while Claire quietly appreciated the kindness of her co-workers in making the occasion as stress-free as possible.

The actual labor had been tough and her mother’s company borderline unbearable as she coached her though it. In the end, they had no alternative but to do a C-section, for which her mother loudly and irrationally blamed her, as if being a doctor made her some kind of baby whisperer. 

Yet all of the drama melted away when she took one look at their little Samuel.

He officially arrived with a gentle but strong cry and then settled into the sweetest disposition one could hope for. Claire had immediately fallen in love, and she’d never seen her mother so content as when she’d held Sammy for the first time. Claire vowed to give this little human the world.

The day they settled into Claire’s apartment, the three of them as a family, she felt as if maybe her life could actually be pretty happy for a change, even with her mother in it. 

That had been three months ago. Of course, days like today when she had to deal with the grouchy, post-partum version of her mother called those memories of contentment into question.

“Why the long face,” Claire heard at her shoulder, startling her. She turned to see Dr. Melendez – Neil as she’d taken to calling him lately when they were alone – now standing next to her as she gathered her things. He wore a familiar cocky grin at having caught her by surprise.

He must have been on his way out when he caught sight of her packing up to leave. She’d been down in the ER with Lim and Park for most of the day, so she hadn’t seen much of him since before morning rounds, not even to check in. It did seem strange after they’d gotten used to seeing each other regularly while working on their research project. It’d been a few months of coordinating together and several intense weeks of late nights and weekends that she kind of missed. That had been another factor adding to her mother’s crankiness lately and accusations that she wasn’t helping out enough with Sam.

Claire wrapped her purse across her body and picked up her bag. “I’m fine,” she assured him. “Just dealing with a demanding mom who doesn’t understand that I’m not her housekeeper.”

“Ah. What is it today? Still craving roasted beets?”

“I wish. We have a ton of those in the apartment. No, today, she wants cucumbers. I’m hoping the big produce market is still open so I can find all the things on her list to keep her quiet for a while. Though I am glad that she’s still eating pretty healthy.”

Neil laughed. “Domestic bliss.” Claire rolled her eyes at him as they walked out together to the building exit. “How’s Sammy doing?” He seemed to have a soft spot for the little guy – and a soft spot for teasing Claire about her affection for her little brother.

Sure enough, an instant smile appeared on her face. “He’s getting so big. I swear he’s doubled in size like a hefty little football.” It warmed her to see how much he enjoyed hearing her gush, encouraged it usually. And he’d made a point of visiting pretty regularly to drop off food and run errands, especially during those first weeks.

Claire’s phone pinged again and she frowned as she checked it, typing furiously. “She’s so impatient. I told her I’d be home soon, but she wants to run to the grocery store herself. It doesn’t make any sense to pack up and cart Sammy all over San Jose when I’ll be there in a few minutes.”

Neil walked silently next to her as she exchanged increasingly agitated texts with her mother. Claire finally tried calling, and growled fiercely when her mother ignored the call. Neil seemed amused at seeing her so riled up, probably wanting no part of her angry attention turned on him.

By the time they reached the entrance, she was steaming. “So now she’s not responding and I don’t know whether I should stop at the store or not. I don’t know why she has to make everything so difficult.”

Claire didn’t expect that the renewed relationship would make things a walk in the park with her mother, but she’d hoped it would at least reduce the number of days like these where she wanted to wring her neck. She received another text from her mom that was just a string of vegetable emojis. “Real mature,” she muttered under her breath before pocketing her phone.

“Why don’t you go home and see if she’s there first,” Neil suggested. “I need to stop by the market too, and I can pick up what you need.” Claire looked at him skeptically. “I do! I need to pick up some wine to bring to my friend’s place for dinner tomorrow night. So, I’ll do that and if you’re mom’s not home, then you won’t have wasted a trip.”

“Neil,” she demurred.

“Don’t bother. I offered. It’s not out of my way or an inconvenience. You’re supposed to be getting better at accepting help. Now text me the list.”

“Fine,” Claire said typing out the items on her phone and sending it to him. “But if you end up having to referee one of our blow outs afterward, don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Wincing, Neil turned toward the parking lot as she continued over to the garage. “That’s always a possibility with you two. I’m prepared.” Claire smirked at him, but waved as she rushed to her car.

Her phone pinged again, this time from Neil giving her a thumbs up. She laughed to herself. Who knew that her mother showing up pregnant on her doorstep would domesticate them all. She felt gratitude for his help, though. He’d been a good boss and mentor as she’d gone through all these crazy changes in her life.

She texted her mom with the new plan and put her phone on the console next to her, face-down so it wouldn’t distract her while she drove. Although she wasn’t looking forward to another spat with her mom, she focused on the excitement of seeing Sam. And if her mother had indeed behaved, she’d see Neil later too.

And neither of those things were a bad way to end the day.

_TBC_


	3. Chapter 3

Neil got into his car and looked over the list of items to pick up for Claire. He checked his watch. If he headed straight for the market, he could be there in 15 minutes, shop for ten minutes and then over to Claire’s in about half an hour. The task seemed simple enough and he liked helping out.

He shook his head and hoped both Claire and Breeze would cool down for the sake of reducing the amount of drama they had in their lives. Having convinced Claire to let him help had him feeling pretty self-satisfied. And selfishly, he rather liked checking in on her little brother. He’d always loved kids, even the tiny ones. Spending time with Claire and her family, being useful to them made him feel a little less frustrated and alone about not having a family of his own by now.

Not that he hadn’t been trying. Neil sighed, refusing to go down that disappointing path of memories.

Over the past few months, he’d gotten really used to Claire’s company after they’d started running together and then began working on their research project. The final product turned out to be excellent. Even Morgan had been impressed, which both delighted and irked Claire.

During that time, he got an up close and personal demonstration of how Claire's mind worked; saw the ways her ideas came together in this wonderfully creative way. She pushed him to think more deeply about problems, but not with a competitive or condescending attitude. When they worked together, it felt like true collaboration and problem solving to get better outcomes for their patients. It reminded him a lot of why he got into medicine in the first place: the curiosity of exploring medical wonders combined with compassionate patient care.

But it was the downtime they’d spent on those late nights and weekends that he especially valued. The procrastinating by watching silly YouTube videos or gossiping about other surgical teams. They had a lot of fun fighting over who got to pick the takeout place and then figuring out what to order.

At one point they’d had to cool it when Morgan and Park caught them late one night, still in their running clothes and giggling uncontrollably over a dumb typo in one of the research articles they’d come across. It’d been a symptom of their physical exhaustion and the stress of a grueling week. Morgan made grumblings about him favoring Claire; Audrey had been really annoying about it, though he understood that she had to take it seriously. So, they were on their best behavior for a while, Neil worried about compromising both their reputations and Claire annoyed with him for siding with Morgan over her.

A stern lecture from Claire and a couple of weeks later, they were back to their former routine and comfort level.

And even though Claire talked about how their working so closely together helped her deal with the ups and downs of handling her mother, she had been an emotional comfort to him too. His breakup with Audrey had left him lonely and a bit despairing about the emptiness of his life – or more accurately the inability to make a life with a partner. Of never being good enough. Of failing to find the balance between ambition and contentment.

Claire had distracted him from the darker dwellings in that direction. After all, she’d endured so much hardship and still managed to want better for everyone around her. And as she bluntly put it to him one night in a moment of candor on his part:

_‘If my mom can have a baby at her age, you’ve got plenty of time to find your way there.’_

They’d had a good laugh at that, and it’d eased tensions for both of them.

It was luck that he’d run into her on his way out – he’d been dropping off a towel he’d swiped earlier from the locker room. It felt nice to chat, though. He hadn’t seen her for most of the day.

Truth be told, he really hadn’t been planning to go to the store tonight. But he hadn’t been lying about the dinner party and it would be good for him to pick up wine and a few other things. And he hadn’t lied about it not being an inconvenience.

Neil hopped in his car and made his way to the market to wait for Claire’s call.

Half an hour later, he was still waiting. He’d texted her, getting no response, and now his concern had turned into full-blown worry.

He didn’t know what to do. He’d already shopped for the things he needed and checked out. Did he wait in the parking lot of the grocery store for even longer? Did he go home and go about his evening as if she forgot to call? Should he drop by her apartment to check if her and her mom had come to blows?

None of those options seemed particularly satisfying, but he opted for the last one as the best chance for peace of mind. Starting his car, he headed towards her apartment after checking one last time that she hadn’t responded to his messages.

About three blocks from her apartment, he noticed cars start to slow and wondered if they’d diverted traffic from the construction off the highway again. Checking his watch, he frowned at how late it had gotten. His phone still showed no sign of Claire’s call or text. Inching forward, he’d figure he’d be getting to the bottom of it in a few minutes a least.

His heart jumped at the scene ahead.

Flashing red and blue.

Glass everywhere as police maneuvered traffic around it.

Claire’s car stopped haphazardly on the curb, driver’s side door ajar.

It took every shred of control in Neil to push down his panic and inch closer to the scene, finally pulling into someone’s driveway so he could get out and walk the rest of the way over to the accident. As he approached, he looked around confused. Claire’s car seemed fine – no windshield blowout or damage. Yet the street was littered with glass and police tape.

He picked up his pace as he jogged forward.

“Hey, you can’t be over here. This is an active accident scene.” A police officer with a notepad strolled over to halt Neil from moving aside the police tape and going any further.

Against his good sense, Neil brushed the cop off and continued to search for any sign of Claire or what had caused all the mess. There were so many people, police cars, and first-responders that he couldn’t tell what was going on.

“What happened here?” Neil asked instead. Maybe Claire had had a near miss and the other person was injured. Being a doctor, she could have been involved in stabilizing them or assisting the EMTs. Or maybe she’d already been transported to the hospital. He pulled out his phone to call over to the ER and ask about any new arrivals.

The police officer set a firm hand on his shoulder, now serious about stopping Neil from getting any closer. “Hey, didn’t you hear me? I said, you can’t be here.”

Neil jerked away but did stop as instructed. “I know the person who owns this car. Was she in an accident? Is she okay?”

Something in his voice, the rising stress and fear, must have registered. “The doctor? You know her?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Neil confirmed. “I’m a doctor too. I work with her at St. Bonaventure. I was running an errand for her and waiting for her to call me. But when I didn’t hear from her, I thought I’d stop by her apartment just in case.”

The officer seemed to assess whether Neil was telling the truth or not. And then he sighed, moving aside the next barrier of police tape. “Come with me.”

Neil allowed the officer to weave him through the crowd, mostly emergency personnel. When they sidestepped an ambulance, he saw it:

Claire’s mother’s car smashed into a pole.

A still body on a stretcher with a sheet almost completely covering it.

An empty car seat.

No sign of Claire.

Taking it all in, Neil’s panic now started to rise. “Where is she?”

Recognizing Neil’s desperation, the officer led him to an ambulance at the far side of the accident. “This way.”

As if navigating through someone else’s dark nightmare – Claire’s dark nightmare – Neil sidestepped a broken off bumper, waded through bits of broken glass. In what felt like slow motion, he approached the back of the ambulance.

And there he saw her. Claire. Sitting inside, cradling Sam as the EMT continued to examine the baby, tears flooding her face and a stricken, distant vacancy in her eyes. It struck him so harshly in the chest that he had to pause to breathe.

As if sensing his presence, she looked over at him, their eyes met, and her face crumbled in misery.

Neil ran the rest of the way to her, putting his arm around her as much as he could with Sammy in her lap. He didn’t ask what or why or how. He simply wiped her cheeks as the tears flowed endlessly, holding her, soothing her with promises and platitudes as if any of it would make what she’d seen make sense.

Sam sat peacefully in her arms, awake and alert. Comfortable.

“Dr. Browne, everything checks out and I believe he’s just fine. But I know you’ll feel better if you take him to the hospital to be sure. We can ride in the ambulance over to St. B’s.”

Neil recognized the EMT. Enrique Colon. He’d transferred from Alameda County about six months ago.

Claire nodded at Enrique but seemed unable to move. Enrique glanced at Neil for guidance.

“Enrique will take good care of you and Sam until you can get to the ER. Lim was still there when I left, so you’ll have the best. I’ll call her and let her know you’re coming.”

Nodding again, Claire held Sammy tighter. “Can I hold him on the way?”

“Of course,” Enrique said. “Me and Polly will get you there VIP style. I promise.”

“And I’ll meet you there,” Neil added. Claire blinked, looked at him for the first time as if she really saw him and nodded once more.

She gazed back out on the scene. They’d moved her mother into the other ambulance. “I don’t want to see her,” she said, crying again. “How could she do this? I don’t want to see her!” she shouted, again.

Sam startled a bit at the volume of her voice, and Claire immediately whispered gentle words to settle him back into contentment.

Neil continued to hold her tightly in his embrace as he soothed her with a gentle hand against her head. “You don’t have to. You just need to hold Sammy tight and get to the hospital. And then let us take care of both of you.”

He assisted in moving her further inside the ambulance and then helped maneuver her and Sam before Enrique strapped her in. While they repacked their equipment and prepared to leave the scene, Neil sat across from her on the empty stretcher, again wiping at her damp eyes now dripping onto Sammy’s blanket.

“I’ll be right behind the ambulance, okay. Hang in there.” Tucking a piece of loose curls behind her ear, he caressed her cheek and stared intently until she met his eyes “We’ll get through this.”

Claire held his gaze as if his attention was her only lifeline in that moment. “You got him that car seat, Neil. I know I made fun of you about how expensive it was, but it saved him.” Neil nodded, squeezed her hand. Another sob escaped and she lifted Sam to her. “She was drinking. I don’t even know where or when she got it. We don’t keep that stuff in the apartment. But she was drinking and got in the car with Sammy.” She hugged the baby to her, the child still oblivious to the extra attention he’d been receiving from his sister. “I should have known she was off. I should have—”

“—Claire, don’t. Don’t do that. Focus on getting Sam checked out. But do not go down that road.” He reached up to kiss her softly on her forehead. “Just hold him, and I’ll see you soon.”

He got up and made room for Enrique to sit and monitor the two of them. “I’ll be right behind you,” he told the EMT, who smiled and nodded, letting Neil know that he’d look after the two.

With one last glance at Claire’s miserable face, he jumped down and ran back toward his car, carefully avoiding the disastrous scene around him. The ambulance with Claire’s mother had already left, though he still didn’t know if she’d survived the accident. On the way, he pulled out his cell phone and dialed Audrey.

“Hey, what’s up,” she answered. Hearing her steady, capable voice was a comfort.

“Hey. You’ve got incoming patients about five minutes out. Claire and Sam.”

It didn’t happen often that you could startle Audrey, but her gasp showed it to be one of those times. “What the hell happened?”

“I think they’re fine. Or Claire is. And Colon says Sam’s fine. It was Claire’s mom driving with him and they had an accident. I couldn’t tell for sure, but I don’t think Claire’s mom survived. I didn’t ask, but that’s what it looked like. Claire got there afterward I think.”

“That’s awful. I’ll head down now. Are you coming back?”

Neil sighed and got into his car. “Yeah, I’ll be right behind the ambulance. Claire is not good. She’s going to fight to stay with Sam so be warned.”

“Got it. I’ll see you soon.” And she hung up, all business.

After snapping on his seat belt, Neil took a deep breath. In and out.

Twice.

Three times.

And then he started the car and sped back the way he’d come.

_TBC_


	4. Chapter 4

Claire sat in the darkened nursery next to Sam’s bed trying to keep herself together. He needed her to be strong.

And she needed to keep him safe, something her mother had failed to do for both of them. Yet again, Claire berated herself for letting her guard down, stoking another flare of anger at the woman who’d once more destroyed everything good in both their lives.

Almost everything.

She stroked Sammy’s hand in the crib as he slept peacefully, unaware of the catastrophe in his life. She should have known. Things had been too good and nothing like that lasts when Breeze Browne is involved.

 _Was_ involved. She’s gone now.

She’d died instantly upon the car’s impact with that pole, an empty bottle of wine in the front seat next to a scribbled shopping list. Sam remained strapped in tightly in the back, thankfully. At least she’d done one thing right tonight. But none of it made sense – why would she be drinking? Why now?

Claire had been watching closely for any sign of post-partum depression in her mother. Sure, there’d been some irritability lately, but nothing out of the ordinary. She still seemed to love taking care of Sam. It wasn’t unusual for her mom to have dinner ready when she returned from a long shift or did housework to pass the time while she got used to being the mother of a newborn again. Breeze had even joked that maybe domestic life suited her after all.

During pregnancy when her mother would complain endlessly about how terrible it had been the first time, Claire assured her that things were different now. She’d made a home with Claire, for the time being at least. And she had help. Not from the father – who Breeze adamantly refused to name – but from Claire and from a small group of friends that included a colorful nightclub owner and a long-time musician buddy who had settled down nearby in Palo Alto with a college professor. The couple would visit often and when they all got together, those occasions usually turned into happy jam sessions.

Even Claire’s friends and colleagues had taken an interest in supporting them. Her mother had no lack of doctors to consult if she had questions and excellent care after Claire added her mother to her insurance coverage. She’d drop in on Claire at work before or after an appointment, demanding to be the belle of the ball. And like always, she had a knack for charming the people around her into allowing it.

Claire had been her birthing coach and by her side for the delivery. She’d held her mother’s hand, dodged pain-filled barbs and complaints until finally a spike in her blood pressure forced that emergency C-section.

And when her mother finally held her son in her arms, she’d turned to Claire to name him. Breeze had promised Claire that honor for months, though, until that moment, Claire hadn’t truly believed she’d honor it.

So, Claire had quickly shared her choice: Samuel. She chose it because it sounded wise. And because he had an old man face, she’d told her mom. That had made Breeze laugh despite her exhaustion.

In that moment, she’d let herself think maybe these new changes would be enough for her mom finally.

Claire had taken off work to be a caregiver in those early days as her mother recovered. She’d made good on her promise to stay by her mother’s side. And Sam’s. They fell into a routine once Claire went back to work. The days were filled with her usual full schedule of surgeries and patients and paperwork while her evenings were met with midnight feedings, diaper duty, and tummy time.

Strangely, her co-residents were really into Sam.

Shaun had been the most surprising – she’d assumed a slobbering, crying poop machine would be his worst nightmare. But Sammy had a mild-mannered personality and Shaun liked to hold him while he slept, maybe thinking about being a father himself.

Having a baby around gave Morgan a chance to be another kind of know-it-all since she’d had a younger sibling. And who didn’t like playing with a baby as cute as Sam? Claire suspected that Sam made Park a little broody for another kid, but Claire kind of liked how securely he’d reach for the baby and toss him about, to Sam’s delight.

Neil had been the real MVP, though. A reliable support to her even before Sammy’s birth.

He’d stepped in when the stress of having her mother back in her life had overwhelmed her. Although she and Breeze got along better than either of them had hoped, there were times when the situation – and her mother – demanded too much of her. Claire had started to doubt she could deal with a pregnant mother struggling with mental health issues and then a newborn in her life while also vying for chief resident and trying to be the best doctor she could be. She worried that she’d be penalized at work for not balancing her professional and home life and that she’d resent her mom and maybe even the baby for it. After a stressed patient had snapped at her in front of Melendez and Park, she’d excused herself to hide out in the stairwell and burst into tears.

Neil had found her there, comforted her in a way that didn’t judge or embarrass her. It’d been the first of many stress-release sessions between them.

First, he’d recommended she see a therapist, this time without her mother. Claire had resisted, but not long after, she’d relented. And then they started running together – initially to deal with a tough patient loss and later on occasion when their schedules aligned. After a few weeks, they regularly coordinated their runs a few times a week by some unspoken agreement. By the time he’d suggested the research project to refocus her stress, they’d become completely comfortable in each other’s company.

He’d stopped by the maternity wing throughout her mother’s labor, bringing her snacks and updating her on the patients she’d had to hand over to the other residents. Once they’d brought Sam home, he’d dropped off meals for them a couple of times, even staying to hold and play with the mostly boring newborn as he kept her updated on work.

Neil had been a rock. A real friend, even tonight in offering to go to the grocery store for her to avoid a fight with her mother. She couldn’t deny her urge to lean on him even more to get through this.

Sammy twitched in slumber, smiling a little before settling down. Normally, seeing his cute sleep reactions made her giggle, but she didn’t have it in her tonight. How was she going to explain to him that their mother had done the dumbest, most reckless act of stupidity she could have possibly committed and left them both alone for it? Fresh tears streamed down her face at the thought of anything hurting him, now or ever.

A small click behind her signaled that someone had come into the nursery, probably one of the night staff checking in before starting their shift. Entrance to this area was tightly restricted. Technically, she wasn’t even supposed to be in here, but no one had minded, and Lim approved it before she’d even had to ask.

Footsteps approached, but she ignored them, hoping to simply stay out of the way. But right before reaching her, the steps stopped and the sound of someone rolling a stool over filled the quiet instead.

Neil.

“How is he?” he asked, sitting next to her and facing the hospital crib as she continued to stroke Sam’s little hand. She noticed his eyes scanning the baby, looking for any sign of distress or injury. It made her want to cry harder. Her colleague and mentor – not even family – cared more about her little brother’s well-being and safety than her mother who’d chosen to drink and drive with Sam in the car.

“Dr. Lim says he’s fine. And Dr. Vu checked him over too. They’re keeping him overnight to be cautious.”

“Good,” Neil said. Once satisfied that Sam was okay, he turned his attention to Claire. “And how are you?”

Claire’s bitter laugh came out more like a sob. “I don’t even know.”

Neil nodded. He watched her finger trace light circles against Sam’s hand. After a few moments, he reached over and pulled her free hand into his, intertwining their fingers. Claire held on tight.

“Whatever you need, Claire. I’m here for you.”

She turned her head to him and smiled through her tears. “I know, Neil. Thank you.” The smile faded as tremors seized her hand. Neil held on to her more securely. “Did she … did they bring her back here?” she asked, a soft quiver in her voice showing her close to breaking down.

“Yeah. I can take care of arrangements if you need it so you can focus on Sam,” he softly uttered beside her. “Just tell me what you want.”

Sighing, Claire sent him another sad smile. “That’s kind of you. I can do it. Not tonight, but, I want to be able to tell Sam when he’s older that I did the right thing for her even if I hate every second of it.”

“Claire,” Neil pleaded, “you don’t need to torture yourself. Let me help.”

“I’m not. And you _are_ helping. It’s …” She stared back at Sam again, watching his chest rise and fall. Safe and healthy. Another tear slid down her cheek, but this time, Neil’s there to wipe it away. Her eyes closed to feel his thumb brush across her skin, a sweet caress of kindness. “It’s nice not to be alone."

"You're not, Claire. Don't ever forget that."

She nodded and found she missed the warmth of his hand against her cheek as he treated. "I just keep trying to make sense of it. Why she would start drinking out of the blue. I don't get it.”

It's now Neil who's tracing soothing patterns into her hand as he holds onto her. "Claire, you're never going to get those answers. It won't do you any good to try. And you've got to stop blaming yourself. This isn't on you. You can't be everywhere and know everything. I know you hate to admit it, but you're not superhuman." He grinned down at her and she felt something ease at his humor, at the conviction of his words. She wanted to believe him.

One of the nurses walked by, briefly looking in on Sam before continuing her rounds and retreating to the other side of the room. Despite the nurse's encouraging smile, she and Neil remained vigilant, both watching over Sam. Claire felt Neil’s eyes on her every now and again.

Every second that passed, she could feel her life descending into this unknowable abyss. She couldn’t fight it; her tears streamed down her face once more as Neil watched helplessly while she silently cried. And the more she cried, the more panic and despair overwhelmed her. Her face crumpled, and Neil moved closer to put his arm around her and pull her to his side.

“I’m all he has left,” she explained as she wept. “And I can’t be a surgical resident and a full-time mom to him. There are parents who can do it – who _are_ doing amazing things with a lot fewer resources than me. But I'll sacrifice whatever I have to to give Sam what he needs.”

To give Sam all the stability and attention she'd never had, she thought to herself, too upset to say it out loud. She never wanted him to feel as if he wasn't her priority. Just thinking about him believing for one moment that he wasn't enough for her filled her with panic and grief.

Neil reached behind him for a few tissues and handed them to her before embracing her again. “Shhh, you don’t need to decide anything right now. Wait until you get some space to clear your head."

Claire sniffled into the tissue, leaning further into his embrace as her comforted her. “It’s not going to change anything. I know what I need to do now, but I don’t want to give this up.” She clung to Neil, needing to feel something real and solid in her life. “I hate it. And I hate her. And it scares me,” she sobbed. “I worked so hard to get here. I know I earned the opportunity to compete with the best. I thought I could do anything. And now …” Claire felt as if all her dreams were slipping away.

Neil pulled her head onto his shoulder and let her cry. He whispered into her ear that it would be okay, that they’d figure something out. He told her again not to worry about such things right now.

Claire appreciated it, but she knew that they were just words and that he was wrong. There’s only one way this ends.

In a matter of weeks, she’ll have laid her mother to rest, she’ll be Sam’s sole guardian, and she’ll no longer be a surgical resident.

TBC...


	5. Chapter 5

Neil walked into Audrey’s office and plopped down in one of the chairs at her desk.

“What are we going to do?” he asked without preamble or explanation.

He’d just come from checking in on Claire and Sam, and everything about the situation broke his heart. Claire’s love for Sam reflected off of every surface of her. Her fierce commitment to doing right by him made Neil’s heart ache at the beauty of it. But he’d also never seen Claire so defeated and weary – and he’d been at her side under some pretty difficult circumstances since he’d met her.

Neil thought back to that day over three years ago when she’d walked into her residency interview looking calm and competent. He’d sensed her nerves but when the committees’ questions began, she let her passion for medicine take over, impressing them again and again with her knowledge and drive. And he’d pushed her as had Aoki, though he couldn’t quite tell whether she stood in support or opposition at the time. Claire simply answered what was asked of her, posed smart questions in response, and moved on.

When they’d started working together, he recognized that she had an odd mix of self-assurance and vulnerability. That she’d serve as a great team player became apparent very quickly. She excelled at patient care, and he’d learned to rely on it. She had a fun sense of humor that made her good company while running boring tests or during long nights of monitoring patients. Having the confidence to voice her ideas came more slowly, though he knew she had it in her. He’d often struggle to pull that confidence out, sometimes not in the kindest way, but he had to be both good and bad cop sometimes.

And it’d worked. She gradually began trusting herself, but still acting even when he could tell her uncertainty weighed her down. She learned and impressed and grew into this remarkable surgical resident the likes of which he’d never seen. A top-notch student. A reliable colleague. Eventually a valuable friend.

All that hard work and potential. To have this tragedy happen to her on top of everything she’d overcome seemed unusually cruel.

Lim closed the file she’d been working on and frowned as she gave him a once over, probably at how weary he appeared himself. The clock on her desk showed nearly midnight and dark circles were forming under his eyes. They both looked rumpled and disheveled.

“You look like hell,” Audrey confirmed, though she said it with a familiar smirk. Growing more serious, she put her file aside and gave him her full attention. “How’s Claire holding up?”

Sighing, Neil sunk further into the chair. “She’s trying to be brave, but she’s heartbroken and angry and terrified over Sam. She knew they wouldn’t let her sleep in the nursery, so I told her to go get some rest in one of the on-call rooms.”

“Good. Sam really is fine, but I know she’ll feel better if we keep an eye on him. And honestly, I don’t think it’s the best idea to send her home right now after …”

“I agree,” he added.

“I fast-tracked the toxicology report. Her mother had a .12 blood alcohol level. They recovered two opened mini bottles of wine in the car. My suspicion is that her tolerance was low because of the changes in her habits and body chemistry since being pregnant, and she became intoxicated faster than she’d been expecting.”

Neil shook his head. Senseless.

He started tapping his thumb against the arm of the chair, obviously full of nerves. “I don’t know how Claire’s going to get over this. She’s trying to keep her composure for Sam’s sake, but she’s so angry.”

“I can’t blame her for it, honestly. And it'll eat her up if she's not careful.”

Neil sat restlessly and then leaned forward, arms resting on his knees. “Claire’s convinced she needs to quit the program. It’s up to her to take care of Sam, and she doesn’t think she can do both.”

They let the idea of that sink in for a few moments, Neil gathering his thoughts and Audrey waiting for him to say more."

“Audrey, we cannot just let her go.” Raising his head, he addressed her directly to make his plea. “She’s special. And if the board needs swaying, we can argue about how much we’ve already invested in her. If she leaves the program, I know she’ll adjust to whatever circumstances she’s handed, but it’ll be a loss and she’s had too many of those lately.”

Audrey stared at him, scrutinizing him in a way that made him nervous.

“Why are you looking at me like that? This isn’t personal. I’m trying to be a good mentor.”

It’s a lie. They both knew it. When it came to his relationship with Claire and his wanting to be there for her, it didn’t get more personal.

“Look,” Neil argued, “I don’t care if she doesn’t work for me anymore. If she has to switch to Dartling’s rotation or even Stemler, it’s better than leaving all together.”

Agitated, he sprang to his feet and started pacing, tense hands on hips. After a few strides, back and forth across the room, he stopped in front of her desk.

“Audrey, I cannot go back over there and tell her that her career as she knows it is over and there’s nothing we can do.” He couldn’t keep the edge out of his voice, the misery and the fear of disappointing Claire. Feeling exposed, as if he’d revealed too much, he turned away.

Leaning back in her chair, Lim fixed him with a steady, piercing gaze. “Neil, will you please sit down.” She gestured to the chair, he’d just vacated.

He whipped back around, annoyed and ready to fight her – or anybody – so frustrated at the situation. Meeting Audrey’s steady glare, he backed off. He'd get nowhere taking his stress out on her. So, he returned to his seat, leaning heavily on his knees again. He wrung his hands together while staring into the ground.

“I’ve already been making calls about it.” Neil’s head popped up in surprise, taking in her sad smile. “She’s one of my residents too, remember. Marcus and Glassman’s too.”

He felt the first bit of hope in as many hours – and more embarrassment. But mostly relief.

“Nobody's kicking anyone out of the program. And if she wants to stay, we'll work with her to make that happen. But there are other options. We can convert her residency to a fellowship, maybe transfer her to oncology or pediatrics if we can't keep her on the surgical staff. She spends two-thirds time on that rotation with an allotment of mandatory surgery hours. The downside is that it drops her to essentially a part-time resident. It’ll take her an extra two years to complete her surgical residency, but she’ll be able to set a regular schedule and take advantage of parental benefits, access to hospital child care, et cetera.”

Neil’s astonished at how quickly Audrey and Aaron worked to plot this out.

“I think she’d be fine with that if it means she can remain on a surgical schedule and balance her time with Sam.” Noticing her hesitation, he frowned. “What’s the catch?”

“No catch. Just the realities of this compromise. There’s no chance she’ll be chief resident on a rotation like this. It’ll be harder for her to work on the same caliber of surgeries she’s used to. I’ll need to pull her from the Specialty team and put her on a Routine Procedures team.”

Neil pursed his lips. It’s a demotion, no getting around it. The Specialty team got all the innovative procedures, the surgeries that people come across the country to do. The work that made you a star and opened doors at other elite hospitals and programs. The RP team got the tonsillectomies and appendectomies. Stuff Claire could do in her sleep. It wouldn’t help her become as competitive as they all knew she could be.

And there’d be very little collaboration with his team. With him.

It all seemed so unfair. She’d done everything right. Worked hard. Made all the right decisions and sacrifices. And yet, she’s still left two steps behind for all her efforts.

Neil sat back in the chair, once again sagging into its comfortable support. “Thank you, Audrey. I think it’s better than anything she’s hoping for. It’s just a damn shame.”

“She’ll still have opportunities. And you’re right, she’s special and she will rise to the top no matter where she is.”

“I’m just afraid she can’t see that now. I don't want her making a rash decision that she regrets," he admitted. "God, Audrey, I know I sound rattled and I am. You saw her. The look on her face when I found her with Sam afterward is going to haunt me.”

Audrey's expression softened in sympathy. She sighed and began gathering her things to leave for the night. “By the way, what were doing over in that neighborhood? It’s like twenty minutes in the opposite direction of your house.”

Neil hadn’t been expecting that question. Was it really necessary to interrogate him about his whereabouts at a time like this? And he didn't know what to make of her reasons for asking. Did she care because she was his and Claire's boss or because of their romantic past. Professionally, he understood why she felt she had to ask, but he still resented it.

“Why does that matter,” he asked anyway.

“You tell me,” she replied. His irritation caught her attention. She leaned in, wanting to hear his answer even more.

“I don’t know what you want to hear. Because it sounds like you’re insinuating something,” he said crossly.

Audrey folded her hands in front of her. “I’m not implying anything.” Her tone sounded matter of fact, but he knew her better than that. She was definitely fishing.

“I think you are.” He stopped himself from saying more. His comfort and familiarity with her combined with a tendency to push her buttons meant conversations like these could get messy. The risk of something slipping out that he’d regret remained pretty high. “Despite what you or anybody else wants to see, there’s nothing inappropriate going on between Claire and I. I was running an errand as a favor. Every member of my team has been doing that for weeks.”

“If you really feel that way then why are you so annoyed by the question?”

“Because the question is insulting and unfair and I’m tired of hearing it when all I’m trying to do is help out a promising colleague. I’ve gone to bat for every one of my residents – Morgan a few months ago when she had surgery on her hands and helping Park spend more time with his family. Don’t even get me started about Murphy.”

Audrey remained stone-faced for several moments. A stand-off. And then she relented. “Okay. If you say so. I have a feeling things are going to get a lot more complicated,” she offered. “Just be careful.”

“Be careful? I guess, when we kick her out of the surgical program, I won’t be her boss anymore. Then I can really go for it,” Neil shot back. "I hear nothing's sexier than crushing grief and disappointment for starting an illicit workplace affair. After all, it worked for the two of us." Audrey raised a brow at that. Neil looked away and sighed. “Sorry. That was ... out of line." he pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on. "Look I’m exhausted. I should go.”

He stood, Audrey following a moment later, coming around the desk toward him. Before he could make a hasty exit, she grabbed him and pulled him into a tight hug.

“I’m sorry too. I know this is hard, what’s happening with Claire. I care about her too. And I know how fond of Sam you are.”

Neil let out a long breath, then two before slowly returning the embrace. “It’s not fair,” he murmured in her ear, still breathing deeply. After a moment he let go of her. “I’ve gotten to know her better these last few months and listened to all the plans she has for herself. It’s hard to see her hurting this much. But it’s worse to watch what feels like such a bright future becoming that much harder to attain. I feel helpless, and I know this is only the beginning.”

Audrey smiled and nodded. “You’re doing everything you can for her. And you’re right, she’s going to need a lot of support.” Neil smiled sadly at the compliment. "So, do you want to do the honors and tell her about our plan in the morning?”

It was a good question. He did want to be the bearer of good news, but he’d give credit where it’s due. “No, you do it. You and Aaron did all the hard work, and she’ll appreciate hearing it from you.” Audrey nodded again.

“Go home and get some rest.” His body felt like he’d aged five years in the last five hours. “I know you’ll want to be there for her.” Again, Audrey peered at him, something like sadness or maybe regret in her expression. “She’s lucky to have you.” Neil stilled at her words and tone. “As her colleague that is,” she said, grinning.

“And her friend,” he added. “And we’ve all been lucky to work with her.”

_TBC_


	6. Chapter 6

Claire drew the door closed behind her, stopping short of shutting it entirely. This time she’d remembered to grab the monitor so she wouldn’t have to risk waking Sammy up to go back and get it. Although he’d fought sleep for a little while, he’d finally settled into quite a deep slumber and looked adorable swaddled up in his crib with his favorite stuffed turtle.

Collapsing on her couch, she thought about cleaning up or maybe making dinner, not that she had energy to do either. Time didn’t mean much these days given her monotonous routine. The clock showed just past 8 pm. She hoped tonight would be a rare occasion where Sam slept through most of the night. The old saying went something like ‘sleep when the baby sleeps’ and her body thought that made a whole bunch of sense at the moment. Claire fought the urge, though. She didn’t want to disrupt her own sleep schedule too much.

After all, her days were now filled with a whole new world of things that must get done – paperwork, special arrangements, and a never-ending list of impossible choices that wouldn’t be put off much longer.

It’d been a week since everything had changed. Her dreams, her responsibilities, all transformed in the seconds it took for one bad decision to wreak havoc on three lives. Her ever-present anger toward her mother flared, and she breathed deeply to get it under control. She'd promised herself to try and put the rage behind her for Sam's sake. Yet she felt afraid all the time, a state of mind that didn’t come naturally or easily to her.

And then she’d hold Sam as he ate or slept or smiled at her, and she knew she had to push through for him.

She couldn’t say what went through the baby’s mind – she suspected he sensed something different, something confusing. He’d look around as if expecting a voice or scan her face for a familiarity he couldn’t find. Instead of the woman he’d come to know as a constant in his little world, he’s left only with her. The thought made her want to cry and never stop.

And at this point, she’d long lost track of how many times she’d sat sunk into the couch unable to move or make even the simplest decision like whether to eat or sleep, weep or scream.

The hospital had given her a couple weeks off to deal with the mountain of personal issues she had on her plate – her mother’s cremation and memorial, Sam’s guardianship, insurance papers, daycare enrollment, on and on and on. Dr. Lim had come by earlier in the week to talk about her residency. She’d encouraged Claire not to give up on the program just because she felt overwhelmed now. They’d work with her to finish. It wouldn’t be easy, but they could do it. Claire appreciated the support from her boss and made a mental note to tell Dr. Lim personally when she had her wits about her again.

The most complicated part of all this was also the most fortunate. If Claire felt she couldn’t continue her current residency program due to the grueling schedule, Dr. Lim presented an alternative. Plan B would extend her residency by two years and convert it to a fellowship with part-time surgical duties on a lighter surgical team or a more structured specialty. She could also transfer to an internal medicine position. It would prolong her timeline for vying for competitive surgical positions, but it would reduce the stress of raising a child alone while dealing with a demanding job.

Or she could leave the hospital altogether, find a private practice that could work with her new responsibilities. It may not have as many perks, but it’d be a stable choice. She possessed more than enough training and credentials to be competitive and find a placement that paid well. Dr. Andrews had connected Claire with his wife to talk about options on that front.

Lim hadn’t let her decide, told her to take a week or longer if she needed to think about it. Claire agreed, but she’d already made the decision to leave the program. She began accepting it when she sat vigil over Sam in the hospital nursery that terrible night.

The moment she realized her mother hadn’t made it out of the accident, it’s like a switch flipped and everything she did was through the lens of what was best for Sam. Sure, she could get through her residency. Claire hadn’t gotten to where she was in life without incredible hard work and sacrifice – a full-time academic schedule, three jobs, volunteer work, and whatever remained as a meager social life. But then, sacrifice meant she alone bore the brunt of the consequences. After she’d left home for college and written off her mom for good, her life hadn’t involved worrying about another person.

But pushing through in her residency while taking care of an infant alone meant many more difficult days than not, and her little brother would bear the burden of her mistakes. And she knew she wouldn’t have the focus or the desire to compete with her co-residents. Not that the end of her residency would make things better. Life as a working surgeon didn’t exactly come with an easy schedule. Andrews, Lim, and Melendez all worked brutal hours alongside their residents. Sam would still have to deal with being juggled from daycare to caregiver, getting pieces of a frazzled shell of her in between shifts.

If given a choice – and feeling grateful she even had workable choices available to her – she’d opt for one that allowed her to do the best she could for Sam.

Yet she hadn’t made the call. Something niggled at the back of her mind. It felt awful to surrender to indecision, but the consequences of her choice felt huge no matter how much she tried to downplay it. She needed help.

Claire clamored up from the couch and strolled to the kitchen to retrieve her charging phone. Scrolling through her contacts, she paused and then let it fall to the counter again, wracked with lingering doubts.

She could call Shaun. She valued his logic and unique way of solving problems. But though he’d been incredibly attentive and supportive – even visited her and Sam earlier in the week – he didn’t really do as well with her more emotional problems. Still, she appreciated that he continued texting and emailing work updates so she wouldn’t feel as if she was missing anything.

Morgan had come by, too, as much to play with Sam as to help her talk things through. Morgan had even opened up about her decision to come clean about her rheumatoid arthritis – and incidentally apologizing sincerely about the trouble she’d stirred up for her and Melendez in her panic about what to do. Claire smiled to remember the image of Morgan explaining herself so matter-of-factly while cradling Sam and feeding him an evening bottle. Apparently, she’d argued, pleaded, and raged at Glassman about the decision to get the experimental surgery to prolong her career at the expense of the long-term use of her hands.

At the end of the day, Morgan explained, she alone had to weigh the pros and cons and make the best choice for what she wanted. She’d encouraged Claire not to neglect thinking of herself in her effort to do the right thing by Sam. The perspective had actually been really helpful. It gave Claire a lot to think about in terms of whether she was ready to walk away from some – or all – of the life she’d planned for herself.

Park had stopped by the night before to drop off food and help her put Sam to sleep. As the only one of her friends or colleagues who’d ever actually had to take care of a baby, his insight had been useful. And hilarious. Some of what he shared fell into the category of ‘don’t make the same mistakes I did’ rather than the sage advice she’d been expecting. And he’d told her that whatever she decided, he’d be there for her. She’d cried, of course, and blamed it on the stress. Park had been kind enough to pretend to believe her.

Their willingness to support her meant a lot. She wouldn’t have thought it possible a year ago.

The only person who hadn’t weighed in was Neil. He’d visited her almost every day, usually in the morning before work. He’d ask intrusive questions about whether she was eating and sleeping well enough and distracting Sam for a few minutes so she could take a shower or run an errand without worrying about leaving him.

Maybe because of his role as her mentor or the fact that he’d seen her at her worst, she’d picked up on a strong sense of obligation in his visits. She didn’t think he disliked looking in on her exactly. It just made her sensitive about not being a burden to him. They didn’t talk about the future or her current stress. Rather they chatted about mundane things like TV shows and hospital gossip. It's not that he lacked an opinion on what she should do. She could tell he was chomping at the bit to share, just not before Claire was ready to hear it.

Claire scowled down at her phone. She supposed the time for hearing it had arrived.

She pulled up his name in her contacts, opting to call or leave a voicemail rather than text. He picked up on the second ring.

“Hey.” He sounded tired and Claire wondered if maybe she should try to talk to him about this another day. Things couldn’t be running as smoothly being down a resident on short notice.

“Hey,” she responded. “Is everything okay? I can call back another time.”

Neil chuckled. “Isn’t that my line?” Claire smiled at that. He had indeed used that line on her a few times over the past week. “Everything’s fine, just a long day. I had to do an emergency triple bypass and it was slow-going. But it went well, and I’m leaving soon.”

“You’re still at work? Who’d you pull in? I know Park’s been eager to get more experience with that procedure.”

“I had Park and Murphy with me. Reznick assisted Andrews today on ER consults and landed something that had the both of them giddy, so I left them to it.”

Claire had a million questions she wanted to ask about his procedure as well as Morgan’s, but thought better of it. She didn’t need to stoke any more FOMO than she already had.

“What have you and Sam been up to today. Something similar I imagine?”

The humor and affection in his voice instantly relaxed her, and she took a moment to check the baby monitor. As expected, Sam remained soundly asleep. “You know, the usual. Sammy and I debated the latest issue of Am-Surge and brainstormed some research paper ideas. I can’t tell whether him spitting up on me was excitement or disapproval of my initial ideas.”

“Well, he’s pretty smart so if you think his judgement is sound, you should bring him into one of our research meetings. It’d work wonders on Dr. Davenport, I’m sure.”

Claire laughed. “I’ll run that by Sam tomorrow and see if he can fit it into his schedule.”

“Fingers crossed. What’s up? You need anything. I was just going to text to see if you needed a diaper run. Or a beer run.”

“You think of everything,” Claire teased. “But no, I’m good for now. There is something else, though. Maybe not tonight since you had such a busy day, but if you have time to stop by in the next few days, I think I’m ready to talk about my options, and you’re the only one I haven’t brainstormed with. I know you’re dying to give me your thoughts,” she added, laughing nervously.

A pause lingered on the line. The whispered sound of his breathing let her know that he hadn’t dropped the call. She wondered if she’d said too much, made him feel uncomfortable or over-extended.

She stammered into her phone trying to quickly backtrack. “Only if you have the time, I don’t want to—”

“No, of course, I have the time. I’ve just been waiting for you to be ready is all. Do you want to talk tonight? I can come over now.”

“If you’re tired, we can always—”

“—Claire,” he interrupted, “it’s fine. I was going to call anyway, remember? I’ll pick up dinner?”

Claire sighed in relief. She didn’t know why she was so nervous about this. Neil had been a constant support, and he’d just told her he’d been waiting to talk to her about her future.”

“Um, I have plenty of dumplings and vegetables that Park dropped off yesterday if you want some of that. Although I may have binge-eaten a good chunk of them for lunch. They’re delicious.”

“He does know the best spots. Why don’t you save those for round two tomorrow, and I’ll pick up Mexican takeout from that place on the way. Usual order?”

Claire tried not to grin too widely that he remembered what she liked from that place. “Yeah, that’s good. And, uh, come over whenever.”

“So, Sammy’s in bed?” She detected a bit of regret that he wouldn’t get to see him tonight.

“Yeah, I just put him down. Don’t worry, there will be plenty of other opportunities for you to spoil him rotten and make my life that much harder.”

Neil laughed. “I can’t help it if he responds to my natural charm. But yes, raincheck. I’ll be over in maybe 20 minutes? I’ll text after I park.” He’d gotten used to being careful not to buzz her when he might wake the baby.

“See you then.” She hung up and sighed deeply, feeling good about seeking out Neil’s help but also anxious over the decision she knew she had to confront.

Turns out, a little forward progress really was good for her energy levels. While she waited for Neil, she cleaned up a bit, washed some bottles, started a load of laundry and set out some plates and cutlery for dinner. About 30 minutes later, she received the text that he’d parked around the corner and would be there in a minute. Creeping past her bedroom, she quietly unlocked the door and waited for Neil at the main door to her building just in time to greet him.

They crept back inside her apartment and kept the volume level low to make sure the commotion didn’t disturb Sam’s slumber. Other than turning his head to the other side and partially kicking off a sock, he seemed to be quite comfortably passed out.

“Sorry for the delay,” Neil said, digging into the bags for their dinner. “They’d just shipped out a huge catering order and were running a little behind.”

Claire’s stomach started rumbling as she smelled all the delicious food he’d pulled out, although it suspiciously appeared to be way too much food for two people. Of course, when she saw he’d gotten a double order of tamales, one of which she could freeze, she could have kissed him. They were her favorites and he knew it. As if sensing her approval, he grinned smugly at her across the table as she reached over to unwrap one immediately.

“It’s fine,” she said between bites. “It gave me time prepare for company – clean up a little, change into a less dirty shirt, put on a bra, remember a few more advanced words than lullabies and bath time songs. It’s bad enough I haven’t combed my hair in over a week.”

Neil laughed. “Good to hear.” He didn’t seem at all deterred by her exhausted candidness or general messy appearance.

They filled their plates and Claire motioned him to one of the chairs at the kitchen table. It wasn’t as comfortable as the couch, but they wouldn’t have to worry about being extra quiet for Sam. Neil nodded but turned toward her refrigerator to grab two beers to enjoy with their meal. She hadn’t realized she was so hungry until Neil put this bounty of food in front of her.

As they ate, Neil told her about his surgery, which actually sounded a lot like a triple bypass they’d done during her first year. He’d let Park lead for the learning experience and her colleague had done well. She in turn filled him in on Shaun’s newest obsession with reality TV to study other people’s responses to each other. He thought it would make him better at small talk. So far, his theory was surprisingly successful.

When they’d finished eating, Neil cleaned up their dishes while Claire split and re-packed all the leftovers. Neil kept trying to slip more of his share into her containers, but after a few piercing glares, he left her to it. Instead, he retreated to peek in on Sam.

“He’s a cute sleeper,” Neil reported when he came back into the living area. “I put his socks back on, by the way.”

Claire had made tea for them and settled into the couch. Sam seemed to be sleeping soundly enough to calm her weary nerves about their conversation waking him.

“Thanks. He’ll kick them off again and then get mad about it in the middle of the night. Which is why it’s especially important that he’s such an adorable sleeper,” she agreed. “Also not so cute is when he wakes up at 3 AM wanting to chat. He’s really eager to test his vocal cords. I think he’s at least learning the beauty of a whole night’s sleep, though. For both our sake's.”

Neil grinned and sat beside her, close enough to allow them to hear each other well as they talked quietly. Getting right to it, he asked, “So, you’ve had some time for everything to sink in. What are the concerns that stick out right now?”

Sighing, Claire picked up her tea, too hot to drink but a comfort for her to hold in her hands so she didn’t fidget. “I want to do what’s best for Sam. But, it’s hard to know what that is.”

“Doing what’s best for you, too, will also be what’s best for Sam, you know. Talk me through it, Dr. Browne,” he said, gently.

She smiled weakly, nodding. “I don’t think I want to go the private practice route. I’ll talk to Dr. Andrews’ wife about it again, but I think it cuts off too many options – no hospital daycare, fewer resources, more isolating. And I don’t think internal medicine is for me. It’s a good career path for people that want that, but I want the challenge of surgery. Any surgery.”

“Okay, what else.”

“I want to stay in the program. I worked hard to get this residency and even if we all drive each other crazy sometimes, I enjoy working with Morgan, Shaun, and Park. And you’re okay too,” she added with a smirk.”

“Very big of you to say,” he replied, a grin pulling at his lips as he took a sip of his tea. “So, you’ve changed your mind about being able to handle the residency and taking care of Sam? I know you can handle it if you set your mind to it.”

Claire shook her head. “The thing is, I want to stay in the program. I want to make it work. The fellowship idea is generous. More generous than I have any right to expect. But it’s less than what I have now. And it’s harder in a different way with the extra years and not getting the experience I need to truly be competitive.”

She held her mug to her mouth but placed her hands back in her lap before she could take a sip.

“At the same time, how competitive can I be when I’m the sole caretaker of an infant? Even with the onsite daycare and understanding colleagues, my schedule will need to be rigid. I can’t drop everything to find a solution to a tricky problem or spend all night monitoring a patient in the hopes of getting a lead spot for the next trip to the OR. I’m out of the running for chief resident and last pick for almost anything because I won’t be able to commit like the others. It’ll hold me back. And everyone is understanding now, but how long will it be before people resent all of my restrictions?”

“Claire, no one is going to resent you. We’re all pulling for you. We know how hard this is and want to help.”

“You can’t say that for sure.”

“No, but neither can you. This is like any other problem you’re trying to solve. Let’s keep it to the facts and what we know.”

Claire nodded, took a deep breath. “That leaves the fellowship. I think I should take it.”

Neil waited for her to say more, but she hadn’t quite gotten her thoughts together on it. “Take your time, but tell me how you want to play it with that option.”

“It’s just—” Claire struggled with how to make him understand when she wasn't even sure if she understood herself. “I know that the fellowship means giving something up of my dream. But with Sam, maybe my dreams need to change.” She sipped her tea, considered his silent eyes encouraging her to continue. “Maybe if I have him in my life, the two of us together will make up for the things I didn’t plan for. Maybe I won’t worry about the extra time and the scheduling problems and all that because I’ll have him to come home to.”

Smiling softly, Neil nodded. “I get that.”

She stared into her tea again for several moments before taking another sip. Finally, she met his eyes. “So, what do you think?”

Neil considered how to answer her. She hoped it wasn’t one of those non-answers like ‘do what’s in your heart’ or ‘it only matters what you think.’ She needed guidance!

After a deep swallow of his tea, he turned his attention back to her. “Honestly, I figured that for the best option since the beginning, not because I don’t think you could handle staying in the program or that you wouldn’t be great in private practice. I just think it’ll make you the happiest. You get to be a surgeon but you also get to be the kind of big sister to Sam that I know you want to be.” He paused, waiting for her to meet his gaze before continuing. “But I want you to be sure. Don’t settle, Claire. You’re too special for that. Too good a doctor.”

The relief Claire felt at hearing that eased some of the tension she’d been carrying. Again, she considered herself lucky to have Neil in her corner.

“Thanks, Neil. That’s helpful.”

He grinned. “That’s what I’m here for.” As his smile faded, he waited to gain her attention once more. “You’re going to be alright, Claire. I know it.”

Right now, it seemed impossible for her to believe that, but she wanted to. And coming from Neil, it made a difference. He’d never lied to her, and he knew her better than almost anyone.

“Give it the weekend after you get a chance to talk to Andrews’ wife again,” Neil offered. “You can check in with Lim and Glassman and figure out the best way to structure this. But it’s going to work out. If I know Claire Browne, and I think I do, you’ll hit it out of the park.”

Claire felt a pleasant warmth pulse inside of her. She chastised herself for being such a sap, basking in the praise of her soon to be former boss.

“I guess I’ll drink to that,” she said and tapped his mug with hers, loving his quick laughter. Yet there’s also a sadness. It’s the end of something meaningful. Of working side-by-side with the man next to her who’d taught her so many things and brought out the best in her. She missed him already.

Neil caught on to her mood. “Don’t worry. Even though I won’t be working with you every day, I still fully plan to keep tabs on you. Not to mention how much I’m going to bug you for play time with Sam. He’ll need his Uncle Neil looking after the both of you.”

Claire rolled her eyes, but secretly rejoiced at his reassurance. She couldn’t imagine getting through this without him.

The monitor lit up, a sign that something had triggered the sensor, possibly indicating Sam becoming fussy. Sure enough, the image showed him stirring and murmuring, not quite awake yet thankfully. She moved to get up and go to him until she caught a glimpse of Neil’s eager expression as he stared at the screen.

Grinning she shook her head. “Go on. I know you want to.” He returned her smile and walked around her to go check on Sam.

Still holding the monitor, the screen revealed Neil approaching the crib and quietly shushing the baby with a soothing, whispered tone. He re-tucked Sam in his blanket and then gently stroked the crown of his head as he’d probably seen Claire do on occasion. When that didn’t seem to calm Sam, Neil finally reached in to cradle the little boy against his body and rock him back to sleep.

That, Sammy loved.

Claire watched him snuggle into Neil as they swayed together and he began to slow his movements. The little murmurs disappeared too as Neil lulled him back to sleep. She could tell that Sam felt safe in his Uncle Neil’s arms.

When Claire’s eyes moistened, she couldn’t even try to blame it on stress. She was genuinely moved by her amazing friend. For the first time in over a week, Claire smiled openly and with a lightness she’d been scared would never return.

Neil believed in her. Her friends and colleagues would be there for her. Her career didn’t have to be less than what she’d hoped.

She could do this. She’d be okay. 

_TBC_


	7. Chapter 7

Where the hell were his residents?

Neil wandered around the ER looking for any of the doctors he’d ordered to report to him over ten minutes ago. He had to be at an M&M in fifteen minutes, and he didn’t fell like traipsing around the hospital after them because they’d gotten caught up in another day of drama. He should never have let Lim talk him into splitting their shift today when he had one too many things on his plate.

Giving his charges the benefit of the doubt, he thought maybe they’d gotten swept into a flurry of medical emergencies. But the hallways seemed quiet with no frenzy in sight. The more he searched, the more annoyed he became. If he ended up having to page them, they’d certainly come to regret it when it came time to hand out shift assignments over the next few weeks.

Since his random search wasn’t getting him anywhere, he finally stopped at the nearest nurses’ station to ask if they’d seen Lim or any of his residents. Smirking, one of the nurses pointed toward the end of the hallway. Neil followed where he directed, frowning and working up a good rant in him mind.

When he got closer, he heard soft voices and spotted a collection of feet and legs crowded around one bed hidden behind a privacy curtain. They definitely belonged to his team. He wondered if they’d discovered some interesting case. Or maybe Audrey had decided to impress them with a cool procedure. He even considered that they’d gotten the call to treat some famous celebrity or athlete. It’d certainly happened before. Though if a celebrity had shown up in the ER and they hadn’t told him, that would only add to the punishments he’d started to formulate in his mind.

Pulling the curtain aside, he immediately understood what had drawn everyone’s attention.

Claire sat on the examination bed with a cooing Sammy on her lap. The three other doctors were crowded around and distracting him as Lim examined his ear. It seemed to be working given his wiggly legs pumping against Claire’s lap and his string of incoherent noises.

“I should have known,” he said crossing his arms. His stern expression probably came across as more amused than annoyed.

Of course, Sam would have that effect on him – he tended to improve Neil’s mood at the drop of a dime. Sometimes just thinking about the good-natured little guy could soothe a potential bad mood. A surprise visit in the middle of the day especially delighted him.

And seeing Claire looking reasonably well, if not a bit tired, did wonders for improving his disposition, too.

About six weeks had passed since she’d officially left his service to pursue her new fellowship. Glassman put her on a split rotation between Dr. Barnes and Dr. Stemler. Dartling already had a full contingent of second-year residents, and although he’d been eager to take Claire on knowing her reputation, it didn’t seem like the best idea. The workload for Dartling would have tipped the scales and for Claire, the cases and pace would have been even more of a step back.

The arrangement turned into a plus for the hospital, too. Claire became the guinea pig in Glassman’s idea to have senior residents working swing shifts with doctors who didn’t regularly work with a surgical team. Neil had been in that category before he became an Attending Surgeon overseeing a class of residents with Lim and now Andrews. Claire had enough experience and maturity not to need strict supervision or structure, and could fill in where needed while logging surgical hours.

And everyone agreed that neither Stemler nor Barnes had the personality to trust with a whole class of impressionable new doctors. In fact, how Claire put up with so much grumpiness was a testament to her emotional intelligence. She’d been diplomatic when he’d questioned her about it, though he could tell the experience took some getting used to on her end.

On the surface, she’d begun to adjust. Her job never suffered for the changes in her life. She did anything asked of her, put in the work with her usual professionalism and empathy while settling into a regular schedule as caregiver to Sam. Even colleagues as surly as Barnes and Stemler couldn’t find fault with her performance and were slowly coming to rely on Claire to make their jobs more effective.

But underneath this excellence lay exhaustion, constant worry and stress, a level of second-guessing he’d never seen in Claire – uncertainty about whether she’d bought the right formula or swaddled Sam the right way or spent enough time stimulating his brain for learning or encouraging proper sleep. No matter how many friends she’d allowed herself to rely on, she felt the weight of being alone with Sam, constantly afraid of something crazy happening to threaten his health or safety. She’d had no time to prepare for the responsibility.

One frazzled morning she’d admitted with tears in her eyes that she desperately longed for her old life. She loved Sam more than anything in her universe yet felt guilty for how miserable she got sometimes.

Neil assured her that her emotions were perfectly normal. Even people with every resource felt overwhelmed sometimes. Intellectually, Claire knew that too, but couldn’t shake the heavy emotions that came with all the stress and duty thrust upon her.

Then he’d made a careless joke about how she’d probably never thought she’d actually miss him breathing down her neck. Claire had gotten really quiet after, tried to smile bravely. The gravity of his mistake hit him hard, but the reminder of what she’d given up had done its damage. He’d felt terrible. Of course, she’d kindly tried to ease his guilt about it.

And he’d said it because he tried hard every day not to miss her, not to feel her absence each time he walked into his office and expected her to just be there in his regular orbit.

Then again, he’d tried hard to create another kind of orbit. One that included both her and Sam.

He wondered sometimes if his impulse to spend time with them could be considered unhealthy. It’s clear to anyone who saw them together that he enjoyed their company – the question was whether he enjoyed it too much.

For as long as he could remember, his future involved not only becoming a successful doctor but also a devoted husband and father. After learning that Jess didn’t wanted kids, he’d told her he could live happily being a family with her and finding other ways to satisfy his paternal instincts. And he’d meant it, not that it mattered in the end. When he and Audrey couldn’t make things work either, he’d been left with neither lover nor a family of his own. He’d started to seriously consider that maybe he’d have to let that dream go.

Then came his friendship with Claire and the surprise of her little brother. He didn’t hide how much he loved hanging out with Sam; he couldn’t deny that it satisfied something deeply held inside of him. Yet it turned everything upside down in his mind. He told everyone that he just wanted to be there for a promising doctor, someone who he’d come to call a friend. He wanted to be supportive to a working “mom” still grieving a life-changing tragedy. He wanted Sam to grow up with another person in his life who’d protect him and help him find his path. Show him how to be a good man.

But sometimes he couldn’t lie to himself about it being more than that.

When he’d linger after checking in on them or after running some errand or dropping off groceries or diapers, he’d sit close to Claire with Sam in his arms, and it would feel like what his life was meant to be. It felt right.

It also felt dangerous.

He tried to suppress these complex emotions as he took in the scene he’d stumbled upon. Doing a quick once-over, he checked for any other injuries on Sam and mentally assessed Claire’s exhaustion level on a scale of one to ten (she hovered between an eight and off the charts usually).

Today she seemed okay. Maybe a solid seven if her bright but weary smile at his arrival was any indication.

“Uh oh,” Claire sing-songed at Sam. “We’re all busted.” The little boy tilted his head up at hearing his sister’s voice and giggled.

Neil walked over to shake the little boy’s foot. “Oh, you’re going to be the only one around here laughing when I get through with these lazy friends of yours.” Turning to Murphy, Park, and Reznick, he glanced at his watch and let his disapproval sink in among all three.

Reznick quickly spoke up. “Come on, how were we supposed to walk away from this? He was screaming when he came in, disturbing all of our patients. And now he’s not.”

Neil winced at the thought of Sam in that much pain. He checked Sam over again to confirm that the baby seemed better now.

Glancing up at Lim, she simply shrugged and inserted another instrument into Sam’s ear. The probing elicited an immediate scowl until Shaun reached over to tickle Sam in the side. The frown disappeared and a drooling grin returned to his face.

Neil sighed. “As touching as this little reunion is, you three have got an appointment with radiology about an MRI for Room 212. Get on it.”

Park groaned as he reluctantly made his way out of the examination area while Morgan and Shaun shuffled behind him. No one was enjoying the patient in 212 whose bad mood and bossiness seemed to increase every hour.

Luckily, he had residents so he didn’t have to deal with it.

“Buzzkill,” Audrey said from across the table. Turning back to Claire, she put her instrument aside. “I agree with the daycare nurse. I think it’s just an ear infection. Watch his temperature, and if he’s still grumbling after a few days of being on the medicine, we’ll take another look.”

A tension unraveled in Claire as she flashed a smile at Audrey. “Thanks for taking a look, Dr. Lim.”

“No problem,” she said, tickling Sam’s cheek and receiving a squeal in delight. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go get ready to sit in on Dr. Kominksy’s M&M review.” She looked about as enthused about it as he was.

Her hesitance made Neil laugh. “Oh, now I see why you’re down here. Hiding isn’t very becoming of a Chief of Surgery.”

Lim waved him off as she pulled the curtain back to leave. “Maybe not, but it’s my privilege to abuse,” she quipped. “See you, Claire.” Walking back toward the elevator, she dramatically checked her watch as he’d done a moment ago with his residents. “See you there, Melendez. Ten minutes.”

Claire chuckled as she gathered her usual load of bags and her sling for carrying Sam around. Rushing over, he took Sam from her arms while she arranged everything comfortably. Sam immediately grabbed onto him, making all kinds of happy noises as if he had so much to tell Neil since they’d last talked.

“Hey, stranger,” he cooed at the baby. Sam responded as best he could.

“Stranger?” Claire said, slipping the diaper bag over her shoulder. “We saw you a week ago.”

“That’s practically a lifetime ago in Sammy days,” Neil argued. “Right, Buddy?” Sam eye’s wavered with interest between him and Claire.

She shook her head at him. “Uh, whose fault is that? We were all ready to host you for some baby formula cocktails and cartoons on Saturday, and you bailed on us.”

Claire had a point. He usually saw them at least a couple times a week. But that Saturday he’d gotten called back to the hospital for a patient and picked up a grueling surgical rotation right after. Then he’d disappeared to a medical conference in Santa Cruz for the last five days. The lack of Sammy-time had really bummed him out – Claire sending him pictures didn’t quite cut it. Though he knew it sounded silly, he had a secret fear that the baby would forget him if he didn’t come by often enough. 

“Hey, take your complaints to my patient’s ruptured spleen,” Neil said. They wandered out of the exam area, Neil holding the curtain for her when he sensed she had all her items. He figured he could walk her to the front entrance on his way to Kominksky’s boring M&M review.

They strolled down the hallway, leisurely and in no rush. “Well, Sammy and I made do. We went to the park and then had a warm bottle and a dance party that he quite liked.”

The mental image of that filled Neil with joy and a lot of regret. It’d probably been the cutest thing.

“What? No mention of a raincheck? That’s cold, Samuel,” he said to the little boy, jiggling him in his arms. Sammy giggled and patted him on the cheek again.

“A raincheck could be arranged. For a price,” she added. “Or a favor.” She reached for Sam now that they’d arrived at the waiting area by the entrance. 

Neil seemed skeptical as he passed over the little boy and helped insert him into the sling. “I’m a little scared to hear your terms.”

Claire laughed. “I wouldn’t be too hard on you. After all, we need to stay on your good side.” She paused. “But if you wanted to stop by and bring your folding ladder so I can hang an extra set of shelves in Sam’s room, I wouldn’t kick you out.”

“Oh! So generous!” he responded, folding his arms. “Sadly, I’ve got committee meetings for the next few days after work. If you can wait, I can come over on Saturday?”

“Right, that’s what you said last time,” she teased, “But that works for me.” She adjusted Sam’s position against her in the sling as she continued to chuckle. “Oh, it would have to be early because I’m taking Sammy on his first trip to the beach before it turns too chilly.” He loved seeing her excitement at the idea. She raised a brow at him. “That is, unless you want to supervise the special occasion.” Her request had an adorable challenge to it with a side of nervousness.

Neil wouldn’t mind that at all.

Although Sam used to scream bloody murder during bath time – or so he’d heard from Claire – he now loved the water and spent the entire time in the tub splashing around and flinging his toys. And he liked getting dirty a little too much for Claire’s comfort so the sand was sure to be a hit.

“Supervise as in a beach escort? I bet you want me to drive too.” Claire glanced sideways at him as he triggered the automatic door and escorted her out. “This is what you call staying on my good side?” Neil moved in front of Claire to stoop to Sam’s eye level. “Your sister thinks she’s so clever. It’s a good thing we’re such good buddies and I’d love to have fun with you at the beach.”

“You know I’m teasing, Neil. You don’t have to babysit us.” Claire said, directing those piercing eyes at him; that expression that isn’t supposed to get to him but always does. It’s pressing, but subtle, giving him an out if he wanted it knowing that she’ll be fine with whatever he chooses.

But he enjoyed the hope he sees, too. The pleasure that he’ll possibly say yes.

Again, he’s worried that he likes the comfort of these moments too much. Craved these chances to spend time with Claire and Sam more than he should. He’s helpless to fight it.

If he’s honest with himself, no part of him wants to fight it.

So, Neil rolled his eyes, a playful grin pulling at his lips. “I’ll see you Saturday,” he told her and wandered back into the building for his meeting.

_TBC_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All around the world, we're going through a lot, and in the U.S. we've recently lost a couple of iconic public servants in John Lewis and just yesterday Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Both are huge personal and professional heroes for me. I was lucky enough to meet Justice Ginsburg twice, and I'm heartbroken about her passing, but completely inspired and invigorated by her legacy. RIP.
> 
> Thanks everyone for sending your kudos and feedback for this story and for just continuing to read this. It's such a luxury to find chances to write in these times and for these characters. It really is a bit of joy in some tough times. I appreciate your support!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the delay. Work has been absolutely crazy and all-consuming. But I'm poking away at my edits with whatever extra time I have! I'm looking to get one more chapter up today. Thank you for reading (and for your patience!).

Claire yawned, already tired and barely halfway through her shift.

She made a few final notations in the last chart from her rounds and sat back in her chair at the nurse’s station. It felt nice to be off her feet for a few moments as she waited for her Attending to finish up across the hall. Thankfully, she had a surgery in the afternoon and that always invigorated her. Every time she stepped into the O.R., it excited her, especially knowing how close she’d come to walking away by necessity.

Three months in and counting, she’d made this new life work for her. She might even say she'd gotten things down to a good routine:

Get up, get herself and Sam ready for the day, drop him off at daycare …

Do her regular shift in the hopes that an interesting surgery would come her way …

Pick up Sam at the end of the day, dinner, playtime, bath-time, bedtime, collapse in a heap …

And repeat.

She didn’t mind the monotony. And she continued to marvel at the friends who'd stop by to keep things lively – her co-workers at the hospital, sometimes Dash bearing a new toy, or one of her mom's old friends who'd surround Sam with music. She liked to think she was creating normalcy for Sam who by all observations seemed healthy and happy. More and more of his little personality came out every day and she loved seeing the new signs of his baby humor – or his temper. He’d even begun to sing little tunes to himself in the morning if he woke up before her lest she forget that he’s his mother’s son.

He’d started to produce other little sounds,too. Pretty much the only distinct sound he'd make these days sounded like "see." Claire loved hearing him testing out his voice, though, she knew exactly who to blame for his learning that particular sound.

Neil. AKA, his favorite grown-up friend and the only other person Sam recognized besides her.

It’d started as a joke. She’d fallen into giving Neil orders when he’d stop by to check on them. ‘Don’t forget his stuffed turtle’ or ‘Could you grab his blanket from his crib’ or ‘Maybe put a couple of extra diapers in his bag.’

This turned into him making nerdy Star Trek references about her bossy side and calling her Captain Claire of the U.S.S. Sammy – C.C. for short. He’d coo to Sammy about how C.C. is so demanding or that he’d better hurry up or C.C. would come looking for them. He’d raise Sammy up over his head and walk him around to imitate a spaceship flying, which usually made the baby giggle.

Or maybe it came from Neil’s stream of Spanish chatter he’d use with Sammy, often punctuated with an emphatic ‘si’ for emphasis. Claire rather liked that, and she made it a point to listen in whenever she could to brush up on her own Spanish proficiency.

Whatever the theory, she’d squarely put the fault on Neil. He knew it and didn’t feel an ounce of shame about it either judging by the smug look he’d give her whenever he heard Sam repeat that sound over and over. ~~~~

Though, if anything could turn Neil into a total softie, it was how excited Sam would get to see him at bath time. It became the boys' regular date these days, at least twice a week. He associated Neil with water ever since that day they’d gone to the beach together. As she’d predicted, Sam had loved the beach with all the sand and sound and sunshine. They sat with him in the surf and he’d been both fascinated and excited to see the waves come in and tickle his feet. He’d kicked into the water and never seemed to get bored with it, sitting contently in Neil’s or Claire’s laps. Eventually, he’d nodded off for a nap as Claire and Neil chatted quietly.

_‘This is nice, isn’t it?’ Neil said. ‘I don’t do things like this enough.’_

_‘You mean get wrangled into chauffeuring your friends and their babies around?’_

_Neil chuckled, careful of the baby sleeping in his arms. ‘Well, it’s not the first scenario that would have come to mind six months ago.’ He’d paused then, looked a little wistful. ‘I meant more just getting away in general. Taking off in my car and going somewhere … else.’_

_‘I know what you mean,’ Claire replied. ‘We get so caught in our routines. It’s hard to break away. I hadn’t been out here in ages either.’ She took a moment to contemplate the moment herself. The calm, the quiet. The way time seemed to gently pass through the afternoon rather than the usual feeling of racing frantically across the day. ‘Yeah, it is nice,’ she finally responded. Turning to him, she smiled and felt him return the gesture. ‘Thanks for coming with us.’_

The three of them continued to sit there for a while soaking up one of the last days of nice weather before it got too cold to be out like that. Neil had worn his swim trunks and a light t-shirt that Claire found quite attractive on him. He looked casual and rustic in a way she didn’t usually associate with his crisp suits or even his workout gear. His hair was tousled by the ocean breeze and moisture in the air. His stylish sunglasses gave him a different vibe of coolness than usual.

She, on the other hand, had been her usual single-parent dishevelment, hair in a messy ponytail, clothes spotted with sand and baby formula and patches of moisture from both the ocean water and Sam’s lunch. And even though she’d worn her own swim shorts and matching swim tank underneath an oversized t-shirt, she’d hardly gotten in the water for minding Sam. Though it’s not like she’d have been better off parading around in a bikini in front of her former boss. At least she’d managed to sneak out and get a pedicure over lunch to look a little presentable.

Of course, she was being silly. He probably hadn’t even noticed any of that. He really only had eyes for Sam. And she enjoyed his company as a side effect.

Watching them together, she remembered that night during her first year when she and Neil had hunkered down in a conference room worrying about a difficult surgery on the two vibrant twins they’d met earlier in the day. It’d served as a distraction for both of them from the mess of their personal lives. Claire had still been shaken by Coyle’s assault while managing her feelings about Jared’s reaction and subsequent firing. Neil had actually been really nice as they’d scrubbed into their earlier surgery, apologizing for seeming as if he hadn’t taken the situation – and her feelings – seriously enough. It had helped.

Neil had been reeling from his ex-fiancée’s admission that she didn’t want to have children. Drowning himself in his work seemed the best way to deal with it. He’d been the first to drift off into his own thoughts, awkwardly questioning her about wanting kids. Claire recalled the look in his eyes, the immediate joy in his expression at the idea of future little Melendezes running around. It’d been shocking but sweet to see that side to him. She’d thought she’d given him good advice that night, but clearly not good enough since he and Jessica Preston broke up soon after.

She and Neil hadn’t always gotten along and sometimes she thought maybe he hadn’t liked her much. But that night, something had changed with them.

Although Claire believed Neil liked spending time with her as her friend and mentor, she worried about whether she relied on him too much. She wondered if someone would consider her taking advantage of him, of that desire she knew simmered in him to have children of his own. He did so many things for her and Sam, and she needed the help so she’d take him up on his offers to lend a hand. Yet, she never wanted him to think that she was using him.

And there was a sense of self-preservation as well. One day he’d find someone to build a life with and have a family of his own. Maybe he wouldn’t want to be a part of her and Sam's world in the same way after that.

For now, though, Sam served as the main draw of Neil’s interest. Through him and all her other friends, she’d found a balance she’d never imagined after her mother’s accident. Once again, she thought of how much she had to be thankful for.

So lost in thought, she didn’t notice the footsteps that approached behind her.

“Dr. Browne,” she heard at her shoulder as Dr. Barnes walked over with his tablet. “I just got a page that our surgery has been bumped up. You think you could get things started? I’ll join you as soon as I sign off on this morning’s charts.”

“Sure,” Claire said, glad for something to get her adrenaline going and shake off her lethargy. She handed her charts to him and headed down the hall to get all the necessary files for pre-surgery protocols. She’d only made it as far as the exit when she received a page from the downstairs reception. Curious as to what it could be about, she immediately returned the call.

“This is Dr. Browne,” she said, recognizing the grumpy Mr. Nighly who worked the morning shift.

“Browne, there’s someone here looking for you. Says it’s official business.” His gruff voice signaled his usual put-upon attitude as if it wasn’t his job to field these kinds of requests.

“I’m about to head into surgery, it’s going to have to wait. Can you just take a message?”

Nighly scoffed. “It if was that easy you think I wouldn’t have done it already?” Claire rolled her eyes. “He says it’s something about your mother. I didn’t get the details because it’s none of my business.” Or the hospital’s business she’s sure he wanted to add.

“If it’s about my mom then it can definitely wait. Tell whoever it is that they can leave a message or wait for me to get out of surgery. Makes no difference to me.”

Sighing, Nighly agreed. “Whatever. I’ll let you know what he decides to do.”

Claire hung up the phone thinking that if someone was sniffing around her job to talk about her mother, it couldn’t be anything she wanted to deal with.

Three hours later, Claire had completely forgotten the interruption as she finished up her post-op protocols. Everything had been routine, though slow-going. Most of her surgeries were pretty standard these days, very few surprises. No more cutting-edge, experimental procedures from her days with Melendez. It’s mostly stopped bothering her.

Mostly, not entirely.

As she walked through the hall on her way to the locker room, she saw Neil coming down the hallway from her left. Speak of the devil. She smiled and he returned it, checking his watch as he approached her.

“I thought you were in surgery? Or at least that’s what Sonia said when you stole O.R. 2 from me.”

“You snooze you lose,” she said, chuckling. “And you’re here complaining about it, so you’re clearly fine.” He joined her as she walked to the locker room to grab a few items she’d stowed there before surgery.

Neil slipped his hands in his pockets. “Lucky for your, Andrews finished early so they turned something around for me. In and out, like a legend.”

“I’m sure you were brilliant,” Claire said sarcastically, quickly gathering her things from her locker. She pulled her phone from her pocket, scrolling through her messages and frowned.

Noticing her change in mood, Neil peered over, curious.

“Oh, it’s just this weird message from downstairs. Apparently, somebody came by about something having to do with my mother. I told Nighly to tell them they had to leave a message or wait and it looks like they’re waiting. Down in the café.”

“Who was it,” Neil asked, now concerned.

Claire shrugged. “Don’t know.” She put her phone back in her pocket. “I guess I’ll go find out and I’ll let you know.” She turned towards the hallway that would take her closest to the information desk and café level on the first floor. It surprised her when she sensed Neil following close behind. She raised a brow.

“I could use a snack.” Claire eyed him, skeptical. “Don’t look at me like that. Sammy isn’t the only one that enjoys a mid-afternoon glass of milk. Or some applesauce. I really need to see what Cindy’s offering today.”

“Right. You sure you’re not just being overprotective?”

“Me? Never!” Neil joked.

Claire thought about calling him out on his nosiness, but she secretly appreciated his immediate concern. Dealing with anything having to do with her mother meant that bringing along some moral support wasn’t the worse thing in the world.

When then reached the information desk, Nighly was just getting off the phone.

“Finally. That guy has been by about a million times asking about you. He just left here 10 minutes ago back to the café. Red shirt and jeans, black jacket, bald head and goatee.” He ripped off a piece of paper and handed it to her. “That’s his name and number. He says he’ll wait around until 4.”

Claire thanked him and walked towards the café with Neil looking over her shoulder. “Dontre Mackey? Never heard of him,” she said, brow furrowed.

“I guess only one way to find out,” Neil said. “I mean, if you want some backup. I don’t need to be there when you talk to him. I can just go get my—”

“It’s fine,” Claire chuckled, enjoying his sputtering. “Whatever it is involving my mom, it’ll be good to have someone there in case I lose my temper over whatever mess she’s left me with.” Neil didn’t push the point.

A few moments later, he pointed to a man sitting in the corner of the café nursing a cup of coffee and looking out the window. He was tall and skinny, the red shirt, black blazer, and jeans hanging off him impeccably. He looked about her mother's age, maybe a little older, his well-groomed goatee contrasting with dark, smooth skin. There was a tension in his shoulders as he sat quietly gripping his coffee cup, though as they got closer, Claire noticed he was drinking tea.

“Do you recognize him,” Neil asked.

“Not at all. And he doesn’t seem like the usual scruffy musician type Mom hung around.”

When the man saw them approach, he stood and wiped his hands nervously along his jeans.

“Uh, Claire? Claire Browne?” he asked.

Claire nodded. “I’m Dr. Browne." Claire wasted no time getting down to business. "Reception said you have some question about my mother? I don’t know if you’re a friend, but unfortunately my mother passed away several months ago.” It still felt so raw to reveal that, the words sounding foreign on her lips as she pushed down all the hurt and anger she’d been working hard to move past.

“Yes, uh, I know. I’m so sorry for your loss. I only just learned about it a few days ago.” His voice softened at the explanation. “I’ve been out of the country, on tour, so I hadn’t heard.”

So, he was a musician, Claire thought. He didn’t seem the type.

Stepping forward he offered his hand. “I don’t mean to be rude. Let me introduce myself. The name’s Dontre Mackey. Tre is what people call me. I actually live down in L.A., but I manage a few musicians, including a jazz ensemble that I accompanied on their European tour. I met your mother at a club in Oakland last year. She talked about you all the time.”

Claire took his hand and shook, firmly but briefly. “Nice to meet you. Mr. Mackey. I’m afraid she didn’t mention you, and we weren’t very close, so if you’re looking for something she left—”

Mackey tensed. “She never mentioned me at all?” He seemed distressed, shoved his hands into his pocket and then out again. He shuffled his feet before noticing the twitchiness and stopped. He glanced at Neil standing silently at Claire’s side. “Typical Breeze,” he laughed awkwardly. “I’m sorry, I’m not handling this the best. Please, have a seat. I just want to talk.”

Glancing at Neil, Claire looked back at the man’s clear anxiety over the situation and pulled out a chair, motioning for Neil to join them.

“Uh, this is my friend Dr. Melendez.” Neil nodded at him, but didn’t speak. “I hope you don’t mind if he joins us.”

Mackey gestured for the both of them to sit, and returned to his chair. “Thank you for talking to me. It’s just that when I heard about Breeze, it really got to me. She and I had really hit it off. But then I had to join the tour, and I couldn’t take her with me. She cut things off really abruptly.”

“Like you said, typical Breeze. That’s kind of my mom’s M.O. You shouldn’t take it personally,” Claire replied, letting only a touch of bitterness slip through.

“I heard she left behind a daughter and a baby son. And I sort of went into shock.”

“I thought you said she talked about me all the time,” Claire asked, eyes now narrowing in suspicion. She felt Neil shuffle next to her as well. 

Mackey fiddled with his cup. “No, no she did. I knew about you, just not that she’d had a baby. Look, I don’t mean to be pushy or just come in here and drop bombs, but I gotta be straight with you. Breeze and I were close before I left, had been for a few months. And I left for tour about eight and half months before I hear she had a kid.”

Claire stiffened, gripped the phone in her hand tight enough to leave a mark from her case.

“You see why I had to come find you. My buddy Cecil told me she wouldn’t say who the father was and that after she passed, you were the boy’s guardian. I had to find you. If I have a son, I need to know.”

All her blood seemed to be rushing to her brain at once as Claire tried to process what she was hearing.

This man knew her mother? Had been dating his mother for who knows how long without Breeze having once mentioned it to Claire?

He might be Sam’s biological father?

How many times had she wondered about this invisible man in their lives who Sam would never know, just like she would never know her own biological father? So many times she’d wondered if he even knew about Sam and would want to be a part of his life, or would Sam have to grow up without either of his parents? It’s one of the reasons she was so grateful for Neil’s willingness to hang around and be a good role model for her little brother.

And now here was this stranger seeking to fill that void, wanting to lay claim to her Sam. To take him away.

“You can’t have him,” Claire responded, an immediate and unequivocal directive. Lips pursed, hands tense in her lap, her whole demeanor turned cold towards the man across from her. She felt Neil move a few inches closer to her in a subtle show of support.

“Dr. Browne, I’m not looking to take him from you or shake you down or nothing. You have to understand that when I heard I might have a son, I couldn’t stay away. I have to know.” He twisted the cup in his hand before he noticed it distracting all three of them and pushed it away. “I’m not gonna leave him like my dad left me and yours too if what Breeze told me is true. I want to take responsibility and be there for him. I just need to know.”

Claire’s heart was racing, her breathing deepening as her head swirled with what she should do. She couldn’t quite get her thoughts in order. On the one hand, she heard him logically. But emotionally, all she could hear was Sammy getting taken away from her.

God, three weeks ago, she had wondered how she would ever get used to this new life of taking care of her little brother and now she’s terrified this one moment will be the end of it all.

Thankfully, Neil stepped in to intervene, squeezing her hand briefly under the table before turning to Mackey. “You can imagine this is a shock. For you as much as for Claire. It’s an unusual situation.”

Mackey nodded. “I know, I know. Especially if she never mentioned me.” He dug into his pocket and took out his phone. “I have some proof though. Pictures of the two of us. I know it’s not a lot, but I swear I’m not playing games.” He tapped and scrolled through is phone. “See! Here.” He leaned over to show the two of them. “This was last September. She came down to L.A. mid-week since she knew I usually worked on weekends. She’d made me take her to every aquarium in the area, but the one in Long Beach was her favorite. Always with those damn sea lions. But it made her happy so I stopped complaining.”

Against her better judgment, Claire leaned over to look at the picture. And there she was, her mother and this man looking bright and happy with a sea lion habitat behind them. It struck Claire that she hadn’t looked at a picture of her mother in a long time, afraid that the anger would surface at the mere sight of her. She’d worried about doing right by Sammy, trying to figure out how she could possibly make sure he knew where he came from if even a photo of their mother became a hidden, secret thing in their home.

Yet peering down at the images, she mostly felt sad – for her mom, for Sam, for the man in that picture who’s smiling and holding her mother close. And she forced herself to recognize that Breeze had the same highlights in her hair as when she’d shown up on Claire’s doorstep pregnant and panicked.

Claire felt Neil’s eyes on her as Mackey flipped through a few pictures. Ones of them at jazz clubs, other aquariums, on the beach, or in presumably his apartment. They looked relaxed, fun-loving. She sensed Neil taking in her every emotion and expression.

“What is it you want with him.”

Mackey pulled his phone back. “I just want to know,” he repeated. He stared across the table at her. “Will you tell me his name?”

Eyes filled with tears and panic, heart racing, Claire met Mackey’s gaze trying to assess his intentions. She could hear her mother’s voice in the back of her head about trusting the wrong people. But she again sensed Neil by her side. He’d assured her that she’s a good person, praised her for the compassion that came with more rewards than risk. And the stakes were so high – she would never do anything that could hurt Sammy.

But what if she hurt him by keeping him from his father? A father who seemed like an okay guy and who wanted him enough to track down a stranger for a chance to know his name?

“Samuel,” Claire said.

Mackey smiled. “That’s a good name. A strong name.”

“Claire named him,” Neil added.

This made Mackey’s smile soften as he turned to her again. “I know you have no reason to trust me. I’m glad you’re wary. It only seems right that you protect him no matter what. I promise I’m not here to take him away or hurt him.”

Claire sighed, at a loss for what she’s supposed to do now. Just run down to the day care unit and make introductions? Draw up a shared custody schedule? Her head is spinning.

“Why don’t we take things one step at a time,” Neil suggested as Claire’s silence stretched on. “First things first. Mr. Mackey, I don’t want to be insensitive, but I think we should start with a paternity test. I can set that up for you.”

“Neil—” Claire said.

“I can take care of it,” he assured her, cutting off her protest. Turning back to Mackey, he added, “We can take it from there.”

“Of course, that sounds reasonable. I’m happy to do that.” Mackey began to fidget with his phone, his nerves returning.

“Claire, you okay with that? We’ll need your consent to access Sam’s records.”

She nodded. “Yes, of course.” Turning back to the man in front of her, she tried to calm herself down and get better control over her chaotic emotions. “Mr. Mackey, if you can wait around a little while longer, we can set things up with the lab. If we ask for a rush, they can let us know by tomorrow. Are you staying in town?”

Mackey seemed startled by how quickly things were moving. “Yes, I’m in town through the weekend. I have business in the area. Scouting.” He chuckled. “I gotta say, I’m a little distracted though.”

Claire nodded, lips tight in a smile that looked more like a grimace. They sat in silence for a few more moments. “Okay,” Claire said.

Neil rested a hand on her shoulder as she stood, and she nodded again to him that she was fine. “I’ll take Mr. Mackey to the lab and get the paperwork started. I’m sure you need to check in with Dr. Barnes.”

“Are you sure? Park said you have another surgery in a couple of hours.”

“Yep. I also have residents who can take care of anything that needs to happen between now and then. I just show up and let the magic happen.” She could tell he’s trying to relax her with his dumb egotistical humor. And it worked as she offered him a genuine smile.

Mackey got to his feet too, crumpled cup in hand. “I appreciate this and I’m happy to pay for the costs of the testing. I’m gonna do right by Breeze. And by your Samuel.”

“Sure. Just meet me back here tomorrow afternoon and have the info desk page me.” Claire gave him a genuine albeit small smile and headed back toward the stairs and to work.

It was going to be the longest 24 hours of her life.

_TBC..._


	9. Chapter 9

Neil wandered out of his office having just gotten out of surgery 30 minutes ago. He’d been scurrying around for most of the day to prepare the patient and manage all the others on his roster. He couldn’t wait until his shift finished so he could slow down. Unfortunately, he expected a late night since he needed to clear his schedule this afternoon.

His next stop might take a while.

Despite his busy agenda, the hospital itself seemed quieter than usual. No one running around to deal with an emergency or last minute bloodwork or immediate patient demands. The nurses appeared relaxed, which was nice since the last few weeks had put a strain on their staff after a stomach bug took a lot of folks out of commission. Passing through each ward, he noticed the leisurely pace.

Or maybe it’s just what his brain wanted him to see – the potential calm before the storm. Finally, he reached a frosted door that led to a locked unit where he had to use his key card to proceed. He waved at Judy who waved back and returned to her computer.

He found Claire exactly where he thought he would – in one of the open areas in the daycare facility talking quietly to Sam who played happily on the floor in front of her. She hadn’t noticed him yet, so he stood watching from afar, leaning against the door frame as he enjoyed seeing the two of them together.

Claire spoke something soft and gentle to Sammy that made his brow furrow in concentration. He’d gotten good at sitting upon his own with a little help and a steady hand to keep him from falling over. With Claire’s outstretched leg at his back to anchor him, he reached over to push a block closer to Claire, which made her laugh. Sam raised his head at the sound and seeing his sister’s humor, his face transformed into a charming grin. Reaching his awkward body to retrieve the block, he toppled over, startled and then determined to right himself before Claire could help him up.

And the little warrior certainly had determination as he rolled over to scramble back into a sitting position. Claire let him twist and flail until he’d righted himself, content to let the boy learn on his own how to work his body. When he’d positioned himself more or less back in front of her, he easily reached out for the block and offered it to her.

Neil didn’t have the right words to describe the look on Claire’s face as she met her little brother’s eyes. He could see a moistness of emotion there, but also happiness and pride. For a few moments, they were in their own world. Claire and Sam, the incredible Browne duo – and two of Neil’s favorite people along with his own younger sister.

Soon, one little piece of paper might change everything for them. Sighing, Neil stepped forward.

When Claire saw him approach, her smile softened but didn’t disappear, which was a good sign. Whatever she’d done to prepare herself in the last 24 hours, she’d made peace with the situation.

Sam noticed Neil too and quickly scooted over to get his attention, block forgotten as he reached for Neil’s shoe. Neil bent down and pulled Sam into his arms, giving him an extra bounce before settling him along his side. Claire rose to her feet too, somber but calm.

“Is it time already?” Looking at her watch, she winced. “I haven’t gotten a call from the lab, but I had a break in the schedule so …”

“You don’t have to explain. I get it.” He smirked at her. “And I’m not your boss anymore so whatever you’re doing is Barnes’ problem today.” She laughed at his dumb joke. “I haven’t heard anything yet either. But I guess I had the same idea you did.”

Well, almost the same idea. Instead of checking in on Sam as Claire was doing, he’d mostly been looking to spend time with her. Knowing that she’d be with Sam made it a bonus trip.

Sam seemed excited to see Neil and began babbling to him as Neil responded appropriately, mostly in Spanish. It hadn’t been a conscious decision to speak to Sam in what had been Neil’s first language. It had simply come naturally as he’d idly change Sam’s diaper or find the perfect toy for them to play with. He’d worried that Claire would be annoyed, but she didn’t seem to mind, even admitting that it kept her own language skills sharp and could even help Sammy remain bilingual. 

Neil wandered over to the toy chest where the rest of the blocks were sitting and placed Sam on the ground again. He laughed as Sam immediately began to knock around the blocks with his tiny fingers.

“Somebody’s feisty today,” Neil said.

“Well, he had a solid night’s sleep so he’s got plenty of energy,” Claire explained. She’d trailed behind them, content to watch as they interacted.

“And you? How are you holding up?”

“I didn’t do quite so well on the sleep front.” She shrugged. “It’s all so strange and surreal. I think I’m okay, though. I did some research on Tre Mackey, and he seems legit.”

“Legit?” Neil asked, grinning at her use of that particular term.

“Knowing my mom, it’s the right bar to set,” she said. “But by all accounts, he’s a good guy. I bit the bullet and called one of my mom’s friends who vouched for him. He said he thought maybe he and my mom could’ve worked out if my mom weren’t her own worst enemy.”

Sam had now discovered a collection of stuffed animals next to the blocks and was simultaneously playing and dive bombing into them. They both looked on idly.

“Nice detective work, then,” Neil said. He glanced at her and noticed a funny look on her face. “What? There’s more?”

Claire winced. “I may have had Park call in a favor about a background check.”

Surprised, Neil grinned up at her as righted a grumbling Sam who hadn’t figured how to hoist himself up while surrounded by plush toys.

“Fair enough, I guess. So, you feel better about this afternoon?” He didn’t bother asking if she actually felt good about it, only whether she’d come to terms with what’s happening.

Sighing, she crossed her arms as they watched Sam. “It is what it is. And honestly, it could be a good thing for Sam to know his father.” She shook her head. “Just when I thought I’d gotten things sort of figured out, and life throws another big monkey wrench.”

Neil nodded. “Whatever happens, you’ll handle it.” He turned to her, prompting Claire to return his attention. “You always do.”

They held each other’s gaze, Claire’s head tilted with a familiar softness to her eyes and that sweet smile that framed her face beautifully. He’d come to know that look from when he said or did something she appreciated. It hit something all too satisfying when he drew that out of her.

For as long as he’d known her, she’d come across as this fierce force of nature, this tiny, unstoppable ball of brilliance. As his resident, that drive could be pain in his ass at times, but mostly he’d seen such potential in her. And now that life had thrown her this loveable, Sammy-sized curve ball, he’d become even more impressed by her, more proud. 

She could do anything she put her mind to. Even figuring out a way to make the best life for Sam no matter how the day ended for her.

Sam squealed, drawing Claire’s focus once more. It seemed he’d found his favorite stuffed bunny and held it up for her to see.

“Yeah, buddy, it’s your best friend!” Claire cooed.

“I thought I was your best friend, Sammy. I’m hurt!” Neil exclaimed. Sam looked up at Neil, curious and a little confused. Then he did his best to hug the bunny tight given his limited dexterity, but the effort made him giggle. Neil beamed down at him. “Oh man, this kid, huh?”

“I know,” Claire replied, realizing exactly what he meant. They both adored him so much. Sam began chewing on the rabbit's ear and Claire reached down to extract it. "Okay, buddy, let's not do that to your bunny friend."

"Teething?" Neil asked.

Claire straightened back up as Sam tried his hand at holding the bunny and picking up a block at the same time. "I think so. Not looking forward to that. But his doctor said—”

Her phone buzzed interrupting the moment. She tensed next to him. Claire flicked to the message, eyes scanning but unreadable. Neil waited patiently, kneeling down to chat with Sam as the baby rifled through the pile of toys.

Claire tapped some kind of response into her phone and received an immediate reply. This went on for a minute or so before she put the phone away, let out a deep breath, and straightened as if psyching herself up.

“So?” Neil prodded, standing back up.

“Results are ready. Carly got the independent lab confirmation.”

He nodded. “Mackey?”

“Five minutes away. He’ll meet us in the café?” Neil tried not to react to her automatically including him. Of course, he wanted to be there, but he didn’t want to presume she’d let him tag along.

Looking back down, he asked, “You wanna bring Sammy? Or…”

Claire followed his eyes to her little brother and that smile the boy always drew from her returned. Sam ignored both of them favoring his stuffed animal friends over the boring adults and their grown-up conversation.

“I think so. It’d be nice, however it turns out.”

Neil nodded and waited for Claire to make the first move. She kneeled down and put her arms out to Sammy who hesitated only a moment before going to her. As he pointed back in the direction of the stuffed animals, Neil bent over and scooped up the rabbit for him.

Their pace was slower than usual as they checked in with Judy about the field trip and made their way to the café. Carly had said she’d meet them in 10 minutes as soon as the independent lab representative arrived. When she’d heard about the situation, she’d suggested the extra precaution so there’d be no questions about the integrity of the results.

Sammy, of course, seemed none the wiser as they weaved through the hospital, comfortable in Claire’s arms as Neil distracted him with baby chatter and tickles. When they approached the entrance of the café, by some unspoken agreement, Neil took the boy from her so she’d be able to freely talk with Tre as they received the test results.

“Do you want me to hold back? Let you get everything straightened out first?”

Claire paused, contemplating. “No,” she responded after a few moments. “Let’s just get this figured out. No matter what happens, it’ll be good for Sam to meet someone connected to Mom.

They spotted Tre Mackey right away, again sitting by the window looking even more tense than yesterday. When he saw them approaching and then noticed Sammy in Neil’s arms, he froze.

“Hey, Tre. I thought Sam might enjoy a little field trip. I hope you don’t mind.”

Mackey stood, now facing Sam at eye level. Sam was used to meeting new people and simply stared, unconcerned before returning his attention to his rabbit and then to the lapel on Neil’s suit jacket.

“Mind? No, not at all.” Mackey looked emotional, stumbling back into his seat as Neil and Claire took there’s.

Sam continued to clutch the toy while trying to climb up Neil and stand up, one of his favorite past-times these days. Neil grabbed his hands and helped him to his feet as the boy wobbled on his lap.

“He looks a lot like Breeze,” Mackey added.

Claire smiled. “I know. Mom loved that,” she joked.

“He’s a fine-looking boy,” Mackey said, softly. “Healthy. Happy.” Claire let her eyes sweep over Sam again, over the both of them as Neil distracted the child with play. Her eyes flicked up as Carly approached with an older man in tow.

“Hi, I’m Dr. Carly Lever,” she said introducing herself to Mackey who nodded. “I’m the head of Pathology here at St. Bonaventure. This is Dr. Monroe from the team at San Jose Biolab Corps. We have your test results and wanted to both be here to deliver them.”

Neil noted that Carly didn’t have to be the one to deliver the news. But she’d done so as a favor to Claire. She’d had someone else on her team run the results so there wouldn’t be any concern about conflict of interest.

They each held an envelope. Carly handed hers to Claire and Monroe handed his to Mackey.

“If you have any questions, you can call, or I’ll be upstairs,” Carly added. She exchanged a look with Dr. Monroe before giving Claire a supportive smile and leaving.

Sam was oblivious to the change in mood, the tension that clung to their little group. He’d smiled up at Carly, who he’d recognized, and then went back to using Neil as his human jungle gym. Mackey took his envelope and slowly turned it over in his hands, finally pulling the sealed flap when he saw Claire doing the same. Neil tried to observe her out of the corner of his eye and saw she’d grown even more anxious than before. But she squared her shoulders and unsealed the envelope.

The room seemed to close in around them as Sam played and Claire held her breath. Mackey’s leg shook under the table. Neil waited for some kind of reaction from either of them, but for long moments, they both just stared at the papers in front of them.

He saw something sad in Claire’s eyes as she looked up at Mackey. Neil wasn’t sure what that actually meant. Was it sadness at her life expanding to include this new person, this stranger into the bubble she’d created with her little brother? Or was it disappointment for Mackey?

“I’m so sorry, Tre.” Claire said. Neil peeked over her shoulder at the letter to see that with 99.9% certainty, Tre and Sam did not share genetic markers that would indicate a familial connection. He couldn’t be Sam’s father according the tests.

Mackey nodded, folded his letter and returned it to the envelope. “Like I said, I needed to know.” He smiled sadly. “I’m sorry too. It would have been nice to be a part of the family.” Claire returned his smile at that. “I’ve spent most of my life on the road. Not much in the way of my own family these days.”

“I get it. Really. I totally understand. And it would have been nice for us too.”

Neil desperately wanted to ask if she was okay, check in on how she was feeling. He couldn't really do either while Mackey sat with them. And at the moment she was doing that hyper-empathetic thing she excelled at of putting her energy into making the other person feel better.

Glancing over at Sam, who was now reaching for Claire and the letter she held, Mackey nodded at them both, smiling again as Neil passed the child over and he squealed in triumph to get his little hands on his prize.

“You know, your mom always said she didn’t deserve you, but that you were the best thing she ever did. She was so proud of you. I can see why.” Claire stilled. Neil saw her chest rise and fall as she tried to control the complex emotions that came with memories of her mother.

Sammy broke up the tension by turning to Mackey and waving his new toy – the paper letter – at the stranger across the table. Mackey leaned over and pretended to try and take it, but that Sam was too quick for him. Sam loved that game and quickly began a child-size version of cat and mouse with him. Claire grinned at how quickly her little brother made friends, how charming and easygoing he always seemed. She’d probably balk if he said so, but the two of them were a lot alike in that regard.

Claire’s phone page went off and Sam turned, happy to interact with a new noise.

“Barnes,” Claire said to him as she punched in a message to someone with one hand, the other holding Sammy secure in her lap.

“I can take him back to the nursery if you need to go.”

She sighed. “My patient from this morning just got into a yelling match with his mother and his vitals have tanked. I gotta run.”

“Come here, Pal,” Neil said, retrieving Sam. He waved the bunny around to distract him as he removed the boy from his favorite person.

Claire stood and Mackey did as well. “I’m sorry, Tre, I have to run. If you want to go over the results later or have questions, please reach out.”

“I will,” he said, holding out his hand for Claire to shake. Instead, she moved around the table to give him a brief hug. Mackey seemed surprised, but returned the gesture warmly.

“It’s nice to see my mom could make some good choices about her life every now and then. I wish I had known at the time.”

Mackey shrugged. “You know now. If you like, I can send you the pictures I have of her. For little Samuel to see later on.” He paused. “And maybe you’d like to see too.”

Claire blinked a few times, swallowed. “Yes, I’d like that, thank you.” She squeezed his hand and turned to Neil. “You sure you’re okay to take him back?”

“No sweat,” Neil said. “Right, Sammy?” Sam acted unconcerned until he sensed that Claire might be leaving and looked ready to whine.

Claire didn’t give him time to settle into a proper tantrum as she kissed his cheek. “See you later, Boss.” She pat Neil on the arm. “You too, Boss. And ask Judy to give him the teething toy to play with, please.”

“You bet, Captain,” he called out, chuckling at her glare as she rushed towards the stairs to see to her patient. Neil gazed after her for a moment before returning his attention to Sam.

“Breeze was right, she’s something else,” Mackey said, causing both Neil and Sam to turn their heads back towards him. “You’re a lucky kid, little man.” He tickled Sammy’s neck, which served as an effective distraction from Claire’s departure. “Your sister is gonna take good care of you.”

“Yes, she will,” Neil said. “She’s incredible.”

Mackey glanced up at him. “And you? Are you guys like … a thing?

Neil’s brows shot up. “Me and Claire? No,” he chuckled, a bit nervously even to his own ears.

“Really, because you two seem like you’re together.”

“Well, we’re not—”

“—are you sure, because it looks a lot like—”

“We are _not_ together,” Neil said a little louder than he intended.” He looked around to see if they’d drawn any attention, but there weren’t a lot of people in their part of the café. “She’s my friend and used to be my resident before … everything. So, since I used to be her boss, I’d appreciate you not instigating any rumors.”

Tre laughed. “Yo, don’t take this the wrong way because you strike me as a really good guy. But you’re holding her kid like he’s your own. She clearly trusts you, and you interact like an old married couple. That rumor train has probably long left the station.”

Neil sighed. It’s not like he hadn’t heard it before, but he’d been pretty good at deflecting people’s speculation. “I’ve known Claire for a while, and I’m helping her out. And Sam is a pretty good wingman,” he grinned.

“Hey, you could do worse. And the kid clearly adores you. You should think about it,” he said, still chuckling.

Neil rolled his eyes. “Thanks for the advice. I’m not trying to make her life or mine any more complicated than it already is.”

Shrugging, Mackey grabbed his jacket from the chair and carefully folded the letter he received into his pocket. “Doesn’t have to be complicated. I guess being with Breeze reminded me of that. We made things complicated when they didn’t need to be. I know she had her challenges, but when we were together, we let all that go. Despite how it ended, I don’t regret that time with her. Maybe if I’d remembered that, she’d be here now,” he added sadly.

Neil didn’t know what to say to that. He hadn’t known Claire’s mom well, only in passing, really, on a surface level.

“I only met Claire’s mom a few times, so I don’t know what she might have been thinking when you were together. But I do know that hindsight isn’t helpful in these circumstances. I still have to remind Claire of that sometimes. But you did the right thing trying to honor her by looking Claire up. I know she feels the same way. I’m sorry, too, that it didn’t work out.”

Mackey nodded. “It was good meeting all of you though. Take care of them.”

“Count on it,” Neil replied, and Mackey nodded before walking away.

Neil watched him go and then turned to deliver Sam back to the nursery before returning to his office. As they walked back through the hallways, Neil kept up a steady banter while Sam played with his toy. As they wandered through the last stretch to the daycare room entrance, Sam seemed content to snuggle into Neil, resting his head on Neil’s shoulder. Neil slowed, relishing the gentle weight against him. He reached down and kissed the top of his head.

“Just so you know, Sammy, I meant what I said. You can count on me, anytime. I’ll always be here for you.”

He would do right by Sam and his older sister who’d come to mean so much to him.

_TBC..._


	10. Chapter 10

Claire’s phone buzzed indicating that Park was at her door waiting to be let in. Even though Sam slept according to a more regular schedule, anyone who visited still called rather than ringing the doorbell to avoid the risk waking him.

When she opened the door, she met with surprise a loaded-down Park carrying bags and boxes. She took a small box off the top of his pile so he could see properly into the apartment.

“Thanks. You know how I am about carrying everything in one trip,” Park said.

“Alex, what's all this?” She closed and locked the door before following him farther into her apartment.

He went straight to her living room area to drop off his load and looked around, confused. “Where’s your tree?”

Claire grabbed a tissue from the end table and sneezed into it, blowing her nose afterwards. “I never get a tree. I don’t exactly have a storied history of the holiday season.”

Park shook his head. “Maybe so, but all the more reason to create new traditions for Sam.”

“He’s not even a year old! He is not going to care whether we have a tree or not. Besides, it seems like a huge bother, and if you haven’t noticed, I’m not exactly in peak condition these days.” Her voice sounded raw and hoarse even to her own ears. 

Indeed, the reason Park had come by was to pick up Sam’s things for a weekend with him, his wife, and his son. They provided an overnight slumber party with Sam occasionally to give Claire a break, but this time, the offer became more immediate when she developed a pretty annoying cold. Nothing serious, but she needed rest more than anything else – hard to come by when you have a seven-month old underfoot. And these days, Sam was literally underfoot since he’d started trying to crawl a few weeks before.

“Well, I think you need a tree, even if it’s fake. You haven’t got long before Christmas, and you’re running out of time to do this right.” He shook his head again. “I’m going to have a talk with Melendez for this oversight.”

“Oh, that’s a winning idea. Thankfully, Neil is not the boss of me anymore on any front. So good luck with that. And I’m sure Sam will get a good taste of the holidays this weekend with the massive tree in your living room.”

Park smirked because he couldn’t deny the truth of it as Claire inspected all the items he’d set aside in the corner of the room. She’d heard from Morgan about how he’d been so impressed with his over-the-top décor to prepare for the holidays with his family.

“Alex, you shouldn’t have gone to so much trouble. You already help out so much.” She couldn’t hide the delight at her former co-resident’s kindness, though.

Waving her off, Park rifled through the bags Claire had set aside for Sam’s sleepover. “Don’t even bother, you know we love doing it. You need your rest. And don’t try to change the subject. You need to infuse this place with some holiday spirit. You can even get one of those little fake trees with the pre-made lights – it’s lame but it’ll do. I’m sending Melendez over after my shift to straighten you out.”

Claire rolled her eyes. “Ugh, please don’t. He’s just going to mother hen me again over this cold.” She peeked over his shoulder, trying not to stand too close and expose him to her germs. “Do you need more diapers?”

“No, we still have a stash from last time,” he said zipping the tote back up. Without missing a beat, he continued to goad her. “Why are you acting like Melendez wouldn’t be coming over here on his own anyway? If I didn’t already know he had an early surgery, I’d be surprised he wasn’t over here now.”

Claire tucked an extra stuffed animal into one of the bags. “Well, thankfully, he’s occupied, and I’m looking to keep it that way for as long as possible before he admits me into the hospital just to keep a closer eye on me.”

Park laughed. “Oh, he’s stopped offering excuses about why he’s keeping an eye on you. He clearly doesn’t need one to be over here paying you a visit.” Claire narrowed her eyes at him. “I don’t know why you two are playing so coy.”

“Oh no, not this,” Claire groaned. “He’s only ever here to see Sam. There is nothing going on with us.”

“I believe you, he clearly adores that kid. But my question is why _isn’t_ there anything going on?”

Claire sighs. “You know why not.”

“You just said it yourself, he’s not your boss anymore. Nobody’s gonna care if you’re together like that.”

Shaking her head, Claire plops down on the couch and blows her nose once more. “I meant that he’s so involved in my life because of his attachment to Sam. You know how much he wants to be a father. And just a few months ago, you cared a lot about appearances, and Melendez and I were barely even friends. So, yeah, people would have an issue with it. NOT that I’m even going there. We’re friends, that’s it," she insisted.

“That was then,” Park said, sitting on the other end of the couch. “And as you know, a lot of things are different now.”

“I can’t believe you’re harassing me when I’m sick and weak. First the Christmas tree and now this?” Claire chastised. “Look, Melendez is just being a good friend. Sam is definitely the draw here, not me.”

Park, shook his head. He looked as if he wanted to argue the point further, then thought better of it. “Whatever you say." He looked around. "Speaking of which, where is the boy of the hour?”

A pink flush crept into Claire’s cheeks. “He’s at daycare already. Melendez picked him up this morning.” Park grinned. “Not a word, Alex.”

“No, I’m done. I’ve said my piece.” He gave her a once over. “Anything you need? Last minute instructions?”

Claire smiled. “You’re an old pro at this by now. Sam’s been pretty agreeable, even with the teething. He’s been starting to really fight nap time, but he’ll go down eventually and it’s worth it to wait him out. It throws his whole sleep schedule off otherwise, and as lovely as his disposition is generally, I don’t want anybody’s wide-awake, bubbly company at 4 in the morning. Do you have any adventures planned?”

“Actually, we were thinking of going to see the holiday festivities downtown in the park. Kellen might tolerate our company for that long, and I think Sam will like all the lights and stuff.”

“That’s such a great idea. His coat will be with him at daycare, but I put an extra hat and mittens in his bag just in case. Let me know how he does, and maybe it’ll be a good field trip for us too. ” She sneezed again into her waiting tissue. “When I’m on the mend.”

Park chuckled. “So, you’re taking some time off for the holidays?” he asked.

“I’ll work the holidays because Sam’s not going to know one way or the other, but we’ll take a few days here and there. I’m going to do swing shifts for the other surgical teams that are working then. Maybe I’ll actually pick-up a cool surgery for a change of pace.”

Park looked on in sympathy. “I’ll keep an eye out for you. I’ll be here for Christmas but we’re taking a road trip to Tahoe for the new year. Mia and Kellen are eager to make fun of me bumbling on a pair of skis.”

Claire laughed. “I bet! I’d love to see that myself. Sounds like fun, though.” She sneezed again, gripping her tissue to her reddened nose.”

“Yeah, you need to kick this cold in the ass. Don’t worry about Sam, we’ve got this. But we’ll keep you updated just in case,” he said rising from the couch and moving to pick up Sam’s luggage. “With pictures,” he added, “so you’ll have proof that he’s having fun.”

“You know me so well. And again, thank you for this.” She followed him to the door.

Park looked back over her shoulder. “Think about that tree, will you?”

Laughing, Claire pushed him out the door. “Shut up. I’ll see you later. Call me if you need anything.”

Claire spent most of the day resting, taking a long nap in between tidying up. She finally took the time to properly wash, deep condition, and set her hair, a process that took a lot of time she didn’t usually have when trying to get out the door on any given day. She watched a few episodes of a soapy teen drama she’d gotten hooked on a few months ago and tried not to think too much about going 48 hours without seeing her little Sammy.

* * *

Around 4:30, Claire heard a knock at the door and wondered who it could possibly be. Everyone who regularly stopped by would be finishing the end of their shift at work or knew to text her rather than risk waking up a sleeping baby.

Looking out the peephole, she saw a familiar face and felt the usual warmth flare up across her chest. She opened the door ready to make fun of Neil for indeed being a mother hen.

Yet the oddest scene appeared in front of her: Neil standing at her doorstep with a small Christmas tree.

“Oh no, Park got to you.”

Neil smirked. “He did. And not just me. Get ready for the invasion. And he’s right, by the way. Now move and let me in.”

Claire stepped aside, more in shock than compliance, and watched as Neil dragged the modest tree into her apartment and set it in the corner. She went to close the door but felt a pressure push back as Morgan popped her head in.

“Not so fast. Who do you think has the decorations?” She passed by Claire, now standing there in shock, as she headed toward where Neil was busy pushing furniture to the side so he could set up the tree.

“Hello,” Claire heard at her shoulder and snapped around to see Shaun wandering in followed by Leah wearing a sunny smile and carrying another box of supplies.

“I do love a Christmas tree.” She followed Shaun who immediately offered suggestions for Neil about where to optimally place the tree for room symmetry and lighting.

Claire poked her head out of the apartment door to see if there was anyone else coming. Seeing no one she closed the door.

“What’s all this,” she said, hoarsely, crossing her arms but not having the heart to be annoyed with her friends who’d invaded her living room. “And aren’t you worried about being in such close quarters with the sick person?”

Shaun sat on the couch digging through the box of decorations for something. “Technically, you’re not significantly contagious anymore. Not unless we have fluid to fluid contact.” He paused and looked around. “And we decided against bringing mistletoe.”

They all paused, taking in the fact that Shaun had made a joke. Neil was the first to chuckle, then Leah. Morgan simply rolled her eyes, but smiled at the moment.

“Still, is it the best idea to—” Another knock interrupted her comment. “Seriously?” she said before walking back to the door.

On the other side were Lim and Andrews with carryout containers of a hot beverage and a box of baked good respectively. Claire gestured for them to come in. Popping her head out once more, she caught another figure coming around the corner. This time she grinned: Park and his son trailed behind Park’s wife, Mia, carrying a chatty Sam. When the little boy sees her, he starts bouncing up and down and reaching for her.

“Well someone is happy to be joining the party,” Mia joked, passing over the boy who continued his chattering at his ‘C.C.’ that he’d been mimicking from Neil.

“Come on in, I guess,” Claire responded laughing. “Is this the end of the clown car?”

As Park passed, she nudged him with her arm, but it only made his smugness sharper.

“Oh stop. You love this, you sap,” he said.

Once she returned to her apartment, she was greeted with a flurry of activity. Neil and Shaun had found the perfect position for the tree with Andrews supervising the adjustments. They’d blocked off the corner with a decorative chest she kept in the living room to set the tree away from a newly crawling Sam. Morgan and Mia were sorting through decorations. Leah and Audrey were unloading snacks and cups to pour hot cider for everyone.

Claire stood at the periphery, Sam in her arms and eyes a little misty for her friends’ kindness.

Another knock on the door drew her attention and she wondered who it could possibly be. On her doorstep stood Dr. Glassman and his wife, smiling and bearing presents.

“I know you guys didn’t start without me,” he called down the hall, shaking Sammy’s little hand as he passed. Debbie gave her a kiss on the cheek and joined the crowd in her now full living room.

All Claire could do was look on in wonder.

For the next hour, they adjusted and readjusted and argued and finally settled on the proper decoration of Claire’s new Christmas tree. Of course, they barely let Claire lift a finger, telling her to rest while the experts got to work. They ate baked goods and drank cider and passed around a very happy toddler who loved all the activity and the shiny, bright things to look at.

It seemed the closest to a family vibe that Claire had experienced in a long time, and it felt really nice.

Neil was the first to leave, heading out for a planned a visit to his sister. He gave Sam a kiss and a cuddle and admonished Claire to stay off her feet before wishing everyone a good weekend. Leah and Shawn were the next to head out, having plans for their evening. The Parks followed, taking a very hyper Sam with them who seemed ready for his dinner and hopefully a pretty quick bedtime given how much the others had worn him out for the day. Glassman and his wife stuck around for a while to tell a few embarrassing stories about Lim and Melendez from their younger days and then excused themselves – in fear of retaliation, Dr. Glassman claimed.

Claire hadn’t expected Andrews to hang out as long as he had. But he claimed his wife had a full day at her practice and it beat sitting around the house alone while he waited for her to come home. Sammy had been unusually fascinated with him as someone he didn’t see as much as the others. Apparently, it piqued his little curious brain. And Andrews hadn’t seemed to mind indulging the child. But at dinner time, Andrews took his leave with Morgan and Lim following soon after to check in at the hospital on a patient they’d operated on earlier in the day.

Morgan looked back at the tree for a moment and smiled wistfully. Claire noticed her attention hone in on something that caused her to suppress a chuckle. “Have a good night, Browne,” she said before sauntering out the door. Claire shook her head. Who knew what silly thing she’d decided not to tease Claire for?

After closing the door behind her last visitor, Claire plopped down on the couch and stared at the new fixture in her living room. With the sun now mostly set, the dim room really showed off the blinking lights and shiny balls on the Christmas tree that hung very precisely to Shaun’s specifications. It did look nice, she had to admit.

Park had arranged his and Glassman's presents around the tree, and she’d brought out a few others she’d been keeping in the bedroom that friends had mailed to her. Of course, Neil had already told her he’d be back at some point with a truckload of things he’d splurged on for Sam. She rolled her eyes thinking about how much he spoiled the baby, but she didn’t deny how grateful she was for him and his affection for her little brother.

Claire hoped she and Neil would have some downtime over the holidays to talk about something that had been on her mind about that. Except now she’s self-conscious about Park nosing around in her personal business when it came to her and Neil.

She set her now cool mug of cider on the table and rested her head against the pillows of the couch. Soon it would be Christmas and then New Year’s. And what a year it’d been. Before long, her eyes closed staring at the twinkling tree in her dim living room, and she drifted off into another light doze.

* * *

 _At first, her dreams felt like a surreal version of her waking life – lounging idly in front of a bright Christmas tree. Except she started noticing some big differences, the main one being a set of strong arms holding her. Someone is caressing her hand gently as soft kisses inched from the crown of her head, down to her ear and along her neck. She murmured her pleasure and then registered a low laugh from behind her. Hands gripped the embrace that surrounded her as she leaned farther into the warmth and safety of this unnamed person._

_She reached up to run her hand through thick, dark hair, letting her fingers trail along his lightly stubbled cheek. Her companion tilted his head to kiss her palm before returning his mouth to a spot below her ear that she particularly liked. Her other hand reached for his, sliding her fingers down the base of his bicep to the inside of his elbow. A soft grip at her chin guided her lips to his and before she closed her eyes to accept the kiss, she glimpsed her fingers skimming the darkened lines of the patterned tattoo above his wrist._

Claire awoke suddenly, breathing deeply and feeling flushed as she looked around for the presence that still seemed to be in the room with her. Shaking off her drowsiness, she processed the images she’d seen in her dream and frowned.

Even though she hadn’t seen his face, she knew the man in her dream to be Neil.

“Stupid Park,” she muttered to herself. His unsolicited opinions on her life had no doubt caused those particular images to materialize. It’s all his fault that her heart was racing and constricting as the dream faded from her mind.

A knock at the door droned insistently, and Claire wondered if that sound had woken her.

She checked the peephole and a nervous surprise flared in her chest before opening the door. For the second time today, Neil stood on her doorstep with a sheepish look on his face and bearing gifts, judging by the small plastic bag in his hand. Claire stepped back and let him into her apartment. Of course, he went directly to stand in front of the tree that shone brightly in her living room.

“Oh wow, it looks really nice. If I do say so myself.” Neil checked the tree from a few different angles as he waited for her to join him.

“Modesty. Always your best quality,” Claire chuckled. “How’s Gabbi?” She appreciated the dimness in the room to hide how flustered she felt seeing him after such a strange dream of them together.

Neil turned to her, a bright smile on his face. “She’s really good. We had a nice visit and then she kicked me out for the holiday party they were having tonight. I tried not to take it personally.” They both laughed.

“Well, I’m glad it was a good visit. What are you doing back here? Park’s got Sam, so you’ll have to go over there if you don’t want to miss bath time.”

“Can’t I come visit you?” he challenged. Again, Claire really wondered what other ideas Park had planted in his head.

“Yeah right.” Claire crossed her arms, laughing nervously, though hard enough to draw a frown from him. She shook her head and went to adjust one of the ornaments.

“I don’t know what’s so funny.” He handed her the plastic bag. Inside were cough drops, another box of tissues, her favorite ginger tea, and a small container of local honey.

“Neil ‘Mother Hen’ Melendez is on the job," she teased as she emptied the bag. She paused in arranging the items on the coffee table as she noticed a shiny object next to her lamp.

His watch.

She abandoned her supplies and grabbed the watch, twirling it around her fingers and leveling him with a knowing glare. He reached for it and Claire dodged, causing him to lunge for it. He raised a brow at that. Rather than tussle with him, she handed the watch over.

“What? You couldn’t live without your fancy watch for the weekend?”

He slid on the watch and adjusted it on his wrist. “I took it off when we were fixing the tree. Who knows what fate it would meet here. And that’s without Sammy’s curious little fingers in the mix.”

Claire smacked him in the arm and returned to her seat on the couch to reclaim her mug of now cold cider. Neil sat on the other end, leaning back into the soft cushions.

“I still can’t believe Park talked you into getting that tree.”

Neil twisted his head around to her from where he’d flopped it on the back of the couch. “Well, he made a good case.” Rolling his eyes, he turned his head again and closed his eyes. “He had a lot of unsolicited advice to get off his chest,” he muttered.

Gripping her mug, Claire tried to gauge Neil’s thoughts on that. “So, you too? He was on about a lot of things this morning with me too. He takes his role as my Work Dad very seriously.”

“No kidding. Don’t mind him,” he added wearily, not seeming particularly inclined to get into his and Park's conversation with her. “So, what’s on the agenda for New Year’s?”

Grateful for the change in topic, Claire sighed. “Not much. I’m on-shift for Christmas and New Year’s.”

“What?” He sat up frowning. “How did that happen?” Working both holidays was actually against hospital policy without HR authorization so that people wouldn’t be pressured into giving up the days off.

Claire raised a hand to stop his inevitable complaint. “I volunteered. It’s not like I have anywhere to be. And the daycare is still open for the day shift so I’ll be off by 5:00. You know the ER will be an absolute madhouse. But my New Year’s partying days are over. Sam and I will be lucky to make it to prime time.” Neil chuckled. “You still planning a ski trip? Park’s jumping on that bandwagon too.”

Neil shrugged. “It’s up in the air now. I was supposed to go up to Whistler, but it’s looking like that’ll get cancelled. One of the guys may have to go overseas for work, and another guy just got engaged so he’s squeamish about leaving for the holidays. Now everyone might bail.”

“That sucks,” Claire groaned. “I know you were looking forward to it. You could still go by yourself if you wanted. Check out the singles scene,” she said grinning.

Laughing, Neil turned his head back to her. “What do you know about the singles scene at Whistler?” She shrugged, not revealing the secrets of any youthful excursions. “Always full of surprises, Dr. Browne.”

Claire joined in his amusement. She paused a beat. “Well, you’re welcome to hang out with me and Sam. It won’t be Whistler or even much of a party. But there will be plenty of toys and noisemakers. You know, the usual stuff around here.”

“I don’t know, that doesn’t sound like a bad gig at all. Tell you what, I’ll let you know. And if it works out, I’ll bring the champagne and a stick to poke you with to keep you awake until midnight.”

The way he was looking at her, Claire didn’t know how to feel about this development. Stupid Park instigating trouble with his suggestions about the two of them. They were friends and there was nothing weird about that. Even his appearance tonight proved that he didn’t come over just to see her – he always had another reason, like a random errand or something Sam-related. Romance had nothing to do with it, for either of them.

And that dream had just been an unfortunate side effect of Park’s meddling.

Even her own body rejected the thought of it as a fresh round of coughs and sniffling hit her. Claire reached over to open the bag of lozenges.

Of course, this got Neil’s attention. He scooted closer, and before she could anticipate the action, he reached over and put the back of his hand to her forehead to check her temperature. He then moved to test her cheek, a lingering caress of fingers before moving his hand to rest at the base of her neck.

The sudden touch made her shiver. And not with a chill.

Neil seemed oblivious. “Are you cold?” He looked her over. “Why aren’t you wearing socks?” He got up and went towards the front door where he knew she kept spare fuzzy footies for when she came in from outside. He sat back down and gestured for her to hand him her feet so he could put them on.

So surprised by his actions, she let him dress her, though his attention and closeness were starting to make her self-conscious. “Uh, you must really miss Sam if you’re resorting to putting my socks back on like you do for him during his naps.”

“You know,” he said, patting her feet as he finished. “You are starting to sound very ungrateful about this house call I’m making right now.” Although his words seemed stern, she could see the smile pulling at his lips.

She grinned. “My apologies, Dr. Melendez. Your bedside manner is excellent and much appreciated.”

“My incredible bedside manner is one of my many talents.”

Claire giggled. “Okay, that was bad. That's got to be how every ‘playing doctor’ porn movie starts,” she joked without fully thinking the comment through. That’s what happened with him. One second, she’d be worried about overstepping her boundaries and the next they’re falling into a comfortable, familiar banter.

If Neil was bothered or uncomfortable by the teasing, he didn’t let on. Instead he laughed, one of the hearty bellows that she loved the sound of. “Watching a lot of professionally related adult movies lately?” he quipped back.

Claire wondered if he could see her blush through her already flushed cheeks. She worried the conversation could quickly go off the rails, maybe already had. She hurried to change the subject.

“Oh my god, that reminds me of this one time during my first year when you walked in on a conversation Jared, Shaun, and I were having about porn.”

Neil looked confused. “When was that? I feel like I would remember something so weird.”

Claire giggled. “It was when you made Shaun do Andrews’ scut work for being late and then made me go with him as punishment. We ended up treating the woman who did porn movies with the Bartholin gland abscess.”

“Oh yeah,” Neil said. “Except I only remember punishing Murphy. You were just along for the ride,” he clarified, grinning.

She rolled her eyes at that, but continued. “Jared was so shocked that Shaun had watched porn, like all guys don’t watch porn. That’s the part you came in on. The look on your face!” She started laughing again before coughing a few times into her tissue. “You said something so dumb about us going home to play video games as if you hadn’t heard what we were talking about.”

“I kind of remember, I think. Or at least I remember sending all of you home.” He sighed. I’d had a lot on my mind that night with the case Jared and I were working on. And then had a big argument with Jessica later about it.”

Claire winced. “Sorry. Didn’t meant to unearth bad memories.”

“No, it’s fine. It feels like a lifetime ago. I haven’t thought about that in a while, actually,” he said. “Looking back on it, that was really the beginning of the end for me and Jess.”

“How so?” Claire asked, curious.

Neil turned to face her getting more comfortable. “I don't know if you remember, but the patient wanted to do whatever possible to carry her baby to term, no matter the consequences for herself. Her husband disagreed. He didn’t want to risk the surgery – having her in his life meant more than having a biological child." Claire nodded, vaguely recalling the case. "At the time, I could really sympathize with the mother’s arguments. I was starting to think about my marriage to Jess, having a family, living the life I’d envisioned in my mind for the two of us. But Jess, she really backed the father’s arguments. We disagreed about the significance of having biological children.” He sighed. “And then you know what happened after that.”

“Wow,” Claire said. “That’s heavy.” She felt a twinge of regret for him, that he hadn’t gotten what he wanted yet – a chance to be a father. They usually spent so much time talking about her life, that these moments when he shared more about himself felt precious. She wished he'd lean on her a little bit more sometimes. 

“Yeah. The funny thing is, I get it now. What she meant.” Claire stared curiously at him, urging him to continue. “She really pushed me about how I’d feel if she couldn’t – or didn’t want to – have biological children. I’d been so into this image of the experience I saw for us, it just seemed to come out of nowhere. But honestly, there had been signs before that I’d ignored. She’d changed the subject right away after that. I’d called her ideas ridiculous at the meeting and she was rightfully pissed.”

“Ouch,” Claire replied. Jessica Preston wasn’t the kind of woman to take that without a strong rebuke.

“After spending time with Sam, though, I get it. How much you can love a kid without the biological ties.” He said this almost shyly, so uncharacteristic for him.

Claire smiled at that, the warmth in his expression being contagious. “Well, he loves his Uncle Neil a lot too.”

This returned her thoughts to the situation she wanted to discuss with him. The idea she’d been contemplating since the paternity situation with Tre Mackey. Before that really.

“Hey, there’s something I’ve been meaning to talk to you about.” He looked over at her with curiosity. “Just an idea, you know, with the new year coming up and getting all my business in order.”

“Business?”

“Yeah.” She took a deep breath, thinking about the best way to talk about what was on her mind with him. “I’ve been thinking about Sam and making sure he’s got what he needs in the long term.”

“Is something wrong?”

“No,” Claire responded quickly. “Everything’s fine. It’s just that I’m getting everything in order for his daycare and doctor and stuff. Paperwork really.”

Neil leaned in, sensing the seriousness of the situation. “You know I’m happy to help if you need anything.”

She laughed. “You might want to wait until you hear what I have in mind.”

“Now I’m scared,” Neil said chuckling, trying to put her at ease.

They both let the moment linger, waiting for Claire to work up her nerve.

“I was thinking, you’ve been so great with Sam and he adores you, of course. A little too much sometimes.” Neil rolled his eyes. “And I don’t know what I’d do without you. Uh, without your help that is,” she said, stammering. She could sense Neil’s amusement at her bumbling by the brightness in his eyes. “I know it sounds like a lot, and you can take all the time you need to think about it—”

“Spit it out, Browne,” he teased.

“Would you be Sam’s guardian. You know, if something should happen to me? Not that I’m planning on going anywhere, it’s just that given how we’re even in this situation …” Claire looked away, not knowing what else to say but wanting to make her case.

When the silence stretched on, she chanced a look at Neil. Instead of stunned awkwardness, there’s a small smile on his lips, his head propped up with his arm. “You’re adorable when you’re nervous.”

“Shut up,” she shot back. “I’m trying to be serious!”

“And I would be honored.”

“Neil, you—” She stopped abruptly. “Wait, really?”

“Really. I told you, I love that little guy. And I adore …” She tilted her head wondering why he’d paused. “And I adore the idea of being there for him. Claire, you don’t have to convince me.” His expression turned serious. “Thank you. I promise to always be there for him, even without it being official in case you change your mind—”

“No! I’ve thought about this a lot. I’m sure.” She smiled at him, and he returned it.

“Even so. You can change your mind if you ever need to.” His smile faded, though he seemed more pensive than uncomfortable. “Down the road, you may find yourself married and embarking on a new kind of life. It might change your priorities.”

“Or you could,” Claire responded back. “When you have a family of your own, it’d be okay if you wanted to focus on that. I want you to know before you agree to anything that I won’t hold it against you if that happens.”

Neil started shaking his head even before she finished. “I would never do that to Sam. It doesn’t matter what happens down the road, he’s stuck with me.” He paused and grinned. “You’re both stuck with me. Get ready for a lifetime of ‘mother henning’ as you call it.” He nudged her foot with his at the joke.

“Even so,” she repeated, “I won’t change my mind.” They both grinned at each other, letting the moment, their connection to one lucky little boy sit between them.

Setting her mug on the table, Claire grabbed a pillow instead, hugging it to her. “I just need to get the paperwork together, but it shouldn’t be complicated.”

“You need any help? I know a lawyer that could take care of it too.”

On top of agreeing to this huge responsibility, Claire couldn’t believe how much he continued to be so generous with her. It made some part of her wish that Park was right, that maybe there could be something more between them if things were different.

“I can probably ask the social worker that helped me when I had to get Sam squared away after …” She waved away the rest, not needing to elaborate with Neil. He nodded.

They sat in the dark again, watching the lights of the tree, both deep in their thoughts.

“It’s so quiet,” Claire said softly in the comfortable silence. “Park will probably be putting Sam to bed. He sent me a picture from their dinner adventure. No one came out of that clean.

Neil laughed. “I bet. He’s gotten so feisty in the evenings lately.” Claire loved that he knew that. It made her feel like she wasn’t alone in taking care of Sam.

“Neil?” Claire whispered, feeling in the moment. He turned again to her. “Thank you. For everything.”

Neil reached over and took her hand, briefly, no need to reply.

He noticed her empty mug. “How about we get you some tea?” He stood up to head to her kitchen, the ginger tea and honey he’d bought her in hand.

After he’d made them both some tea, they settled into the couch and watched a silly holiday movie on the television. They fought over couch space when Neil stretched his long legs along the length of it. She remained curled up in the corner with the blanket he’d insisted she cover herself with. Later, Neil dug up her first aid kit to take her official temperature and, noticing a higher than normal number, had her take some over-the-counter cold medicine to stave off a fever. It had knocked her out before the end of the movie credits.

When she woke the next morning, she lay comfortably in her bed, feeling much better. A glass of water and tissues sat on her nightstand next to some loose cough drops that hadn’t been there before. A trash can sat close by for her to throw any used tissues. She had a vague memory of Neil calling her name before scooping her up and carrying her down the hall to her room. For some reason, the strongest memory of the end of the night was turning her cheek into his steady embrace as he held her, recognizing his scent from so many moments spent next to him in the O.R.

For a few moments before the lucidity of a new day set in, she let herself imagine another reality for them. One where he’d stayed and held her as she slept. One where he’d always be there for her, too.

TBC...


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a bit of a long one so prepare yourselves for that. And apologies for taking so long between chapters. I had envisioned being very much done posting this story already, but real life has been insane. It's been taking me longer than usual to finish my edits. I'm still chugging along. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy, and forgive my extraneous typos.

Neil looked around for the next person to talk to at what was turning into a surprisingly decent party.

Probably in a bid to climb his way back up the hierarchy, Andrews was hosting a mixer in his home, fully catered with a high-end open bar and some of the most elite and recognized doctors – and wealthy donors – in the region. Ostensibly, it’s to celebrate his wife expanding her practice, but the dual opportunity wasn’t lost on Neil.

In one corner was the head of a prominent Silicon Valley hedge fund chatting with one of St. Bonaventure’s board members and Aoki. Another group boasted two well-known neurosurgeons in conversation with the recipient of the AMA rising star award from the previous year. Neil even recognized a B-level actor and his partner when he came in, carrying on a serious conversation with several of his colleagues.

His residents were here too somewhere, Reznick gleefully, Park strategically, and Murphy reluctantly. Claire had been invited, of course. Andrews had personally tracked her down and insisted she be there. And Neil had reiterated what a great networking opportunity it’d be for her. But the sitter she’d lined up for Sam fell through and she hadn’t felt like scrambling to find a replacement. She’d been disappointed, though she tried to hide it. Instead, she reasoned that it was Sam’s regular “new foods” night anyway, and she was eager to try out a new option.

Neil grinned into his drink thinking about the conversation they’d had on that.

He’d seen Claire and Sam more often than usual the past few weeks after the holidays. It’d been a welcome stretch after barely seeing them between conflicting shifts before and after Christmas. He’d come over for a while on Christmas Day to see what kind of haul Sammy had brought in – and it had indeed been impressive. That kid had enough toys and clothes to last him a good while. And like any other baby, he had more fun playing with the boxes and ribbons than the actual toys.

Claire had thoughtfully waited for him before opening the presents he’d gotten for Sam. So, they were able to set the little boy on his lap and have fun ripping off the wrapping paper together.

But then he’d headed off to Whistler for a week since his buddies had come through after all. Not that it hadn’t been fun – he’d had a blast. It’d been a while since he’d let loose like that with his old buddies, some of whom had been raised in the same kind of poverty he had. To see them sitting around a ski lodge drinking top-shelf whiskey and rubbing elbows next to the elite seemed almost too impossible to believe at times. They’d rented a beautiful house with a killer view and spent the week skiing, eating well, drinking enthusiastically, and flirting with the many beautiful women also spending their holiday on the slopes.

Claire had been right about the singles scene.

He found himself doing that a lot over the week – wondering what Claire would think of the appetizer he’d ordered or the joke someone made about a show they both watched. He wondered if she’d become a good skier or if she’d be one of those people who hung out in the lodge and read a book in the cozy lounge. He thought it’d be fun to bring Sam to a place like that when he was older and see if he took to the snow. Day after day presented something that reminded him of them. Of her.

And a couple of his friends had noticed too. He’d gotten a little too careless about how much he mentioned Claire or Sam in passing. They’d started teasing him right away, a lighthearted ribbing, but embarrassing all the same.

It had gotten especially bad on New Year’s Eve when they’d all been sitting around drinking way too much and waiting for midnight. They’d checked out a party earlier at the lodge, but they hadn’t been into the crowd - too old and stuffy. So they'd returned to the rental house and created their own fun celebration.

_“Hey Neil, pass me the bottle of that bourbon you brought.” Neil handed the bottle over to his friend, Joe, nursing a fair portion of the liquor in his own glass. “Now this is the real deal. I don’t know how you find all the good stuff.”_

_“You just know these things when you’re as sophisticated as I am,” Neil said, taking a sip of his drink._

_Joe scoffed. “This is why we can’t take you anywhere. Your big-ass head takes up too much space.”_

_Miguel cackled from where he sat lounging on the couch with his feet up, nodding his head to the music. “You’re one to talk, man. I saw you trying to get with that girl at the bar earlier. All ego, no game.”_

_The rest of the guys laughed and heckled Joe. “Whatever,” he said. “She wasn’t all that anyway. I didn’t even put up my best effort.” Tony threw a balled up napkin at him, which Joe dodged. “Seriously, though. Where’d you find this bourbon. I need to get some.”_

_Neil hesitated before answering. “It was a gift,” was all he said. Joe looked at him, waiting for him to say more._

_“From … ” Joe said._

_Dreading the response he would get, Neil tried to deflect. “I think it’s from a local distillery there. That’s what I heard anyway._

_Joe chuckled. “Ooohhh, I see what’s happening here. And who might have given you this special bottle of bourbon?”_

_Neil rolled his eyes. “It’s not a big deal. Somebody gave it to her as a gift, but she doesn’t drink bourbon so she gave it to me.”_

_“And who might this ‘she’ be?” Tony asked, knowing full well the answer and waiting to pounce._

_He sighed. “It was Claire.”_

_A chorus of voices rose up to now heckle Neil._

_“Claaaaaaiiiiiirrrrreeee.”_

_“His ‘just a friend’ Claire.’_

_“The 'oh there’s nothing going on, I just talk about her all the time' Claire.”_

_It really hadn’t been a big deal when Claire gifted him the bourbon for his birthday. She’d downplayed it in the same way, and he’d let her, though he’d been impressed when she mentioned an earlier conversation they’d had on the kinds of whiskeys he liked._

_Shaking his head, Neil took another sip of his drink.“You know, this fixation you all have with her is getting unhealthy.”_

_“Oh, you wanna bring up the word ‘fixation,’” Tony said, not letting Neil off the hook. “We can go there if you want. You wanna go there, Joe?”_

_“I wanna go there. How about you Miguel?”_

_“I’m definitely gonna go there,” he replied. “I’m there already.”_

_“Neil, man, when are you gonna admit that you got it bad for that girl. You can’t go 3 hours without mentioning her and her kid,” Joe said. All the others joined in voicing their agreement. “And that’s cool, but come on. Enough is enough with the slow burn.”_

_“And I’m telling you again, it’s not like that.” Neil said, feeling slightly defensive but also a little too tipsy to be genuinely annoyed._

_“And we’re saying, why isn’t it ‘like that.’” Joe turned to Miguel and Tony. “Have you met Claire?” They shook their head. “She is fine. And not just a pretty face, nice body kinda fine, which she is. But like the whole package kind of fine._

_Neil hid his reaction by taking another deep pull of his drink. He couldn’t disagree with that really._

_He and Claire had run into Joe once, before her mom died. They’d just finished a run and bumped into him at the food truck park. So, they’d all hung out for a while to enjoy the nice night and catch up. Other than Neil getting slightly annoyed with Joe’s flirting, it had been fun._

_“Is she cool?” Tony asked._

_“YES!” Joe said. “And smart,” he ticked off on one finger. “And nice,” he ticked off on another finger. “I don’t understand why this fool is hanging back.”_

_“Uh, because I was her boss. She’s got a lot on her plate taking care of her little brother and—”_

_“Well you ain’t her boss now, so you better get up in there,” Joe said. Neil stared him down and then waved him off with a awkward laugh and change of subject. Not wanting to dull the mood, they’d moved on to some other ridiculous topic of conversation._

_Yet when midnight hit, she’d been his first thought in the new year. In the middle of joining in with his friends exuberant, drunken shouts of celebration, pats on the back, and manly hugs, his mind turned to an image she'd planted in his head a few weeks earlier: her asleep on the couch unable to make it to midnight after putting Sam to sleep._

_A few minutes past midnight, his phone buzzed. He looked around, but his boys were drunkenly singing and laughing at something on the television. He fumbled to get the phone out of his pocket and was glad for his friends’ inattention as he grinned at the image that came up on text._

'Guess who made it to midnite!'

_The picture in the text was a view from Claire’s perspective as she stretched out on the couch. Sam is lying against her fast asleep and a blanket is thrown loosely over the both of them as they lounged. On the coffee table in plain view was an empty bottle for Sam and an empty mini-bottle of sparkling apple cider, presumably for Claire. The partial view of the TV showed some celebration of the new year on one of the local channels._

_His smile widened. It looked like maybe she was thinking of him too when the clock struck twelve.  
_

_‘_ At least 1 of you did’ _He typed back._

 _‘_ Hahaha’ _she replied._

_Neil looked around self-consciously, to make sure no one had noticed his distraction. He didn’t need any more ribbing from them. The three others were happily enjoying themselves as he pocketed his phone again._

_A little unsteady, Neil stood up and wandered to the kitchen to grab a beer. The noise of his friends and the music and revelry died away as he grabbed a fresh drink and lingered in the calm space, alone with his thoughts for a few moments. One side of the kitchen featured a huge wall of windows that looked out into the snowy landscape. Soft snowflakes fell, and Neil walked closer to look out, sipping idly from his drink. Relaxed and pleasantly drunk, he let his thoughts wander to an image of Sam toddling around in the snow, almost toppling over in all the cold weather gear Claire would dress him in. She’d be chasing behind him, just as delighted to be at play. Would it be weird to take a trip here with her, just the three of them?_

_From the corner of his eye, Neil spotted the empty bottle of bourbon they’d polished off after making fun of him a couple hours ago. They’d placed it on a ledge by the window to put out with the recycling later. Neil pulled out his phone and took a picture of it, capturing the picturesque scene of the undisturbed stretch of snow and trees and sky behind it. Before he could second-guess himself, he sent it to her, showing her how he’d spent the evening._

_The bubbles appeared a moment later as she typed out her response, and his heart sped up in delight._

‘Hope you didn’t drink it all yourself!’

 _He immediately began tapping a response._ ‘I have manners. Of course I shared. It was a hit.’

_She sent back an emoji of a cocktail._

‘Definitely better than my spread.’

_Neil sent back emojis of a baby bottle and beer bottle._

‘happy new year’ he typed out.

‘happy new year. Sam and I missed you’

_Neil was unprepared for the surge of emotion he felt at reading that._

_He held his phone stupidly, his drunken brain trying to think of some way to hold onto the moment. He realized his inhibitions were a bit dulled and maybe it wasn’t the time to make the best texting decisions, but he pecked at a reply. He stumbled over the letters, fighting autocorrect to get his scrambled thoughts out._

‘Miss you too. The guys are great, but you’d be more fun to kiss at midnight.'

_Neil paused, finger hovering over the send button. Was it too much? He didn’t want to scare her. But it’s also the truth. It’s not that he didn’t love being here with his friends. But he would have been just as content hanging out with a teething eight-month old and then putting him to bed to ring in the new year with his sister. His brilliant, kind, incredible, beautiful Claire._

_“Hey, what’re you doing in here, man” Joe said, coming up behind him. Neil locked his phone and slipped it back in his pocket._

_He waved the bottle of beer. “Just a refill.” He could hear Tony and Miguel fussing about something or another in the other room._

_“Naw, I may have had way too much to drink, but I got your number. You’re hiding out in here so you can send love notes to your ‘friend’” he said. His tone was teasing but not unkind. He grabbed a beer out of the fridge and joined Neil by the window. “I was serious, man. You gotta just accept how you feel about her. I know you’ve been hurt. But she sounds different. Don’t’ fuck it up trying to be noble or whatever this is that you’re doing. ‘Cause if you play around, someone else is gonna swoop in on you.”_

_It’s a sobering thought, and Neil took a deep pull of his beer._

_He sighed. “I know she’s special. I just don’t want to spook her. I don’t think it’s the right time.”_

_“Dude,” Joe replied. “Since when you care about ‘the right time’” he air-quoted. “The Neil I know is not afraid to go for it."_

_“A lot of good that’s done me in the long run.”_

_“Maybe it did. She might be the one. Won’t know unless you go there. You talk a good game about going for it, but you’re acting like a real punk right now.”_

_“Of course, I am. I’m terrified,” he admitted, his lips and his thoughts loose from all the alcohol. “I don’t want to mess things up. We’re good right now. Me, her, and Sam. I can be okay with that for now.”_

_Joe shook his head and laughed. “All right, man. For now. Your call. Just don’t wait too long. Maybe you don’t see it, but that woman and that kid make you happier than I’ve ever seen you.”_

_Neil chuckled. He couldn’t argue with that either. His phone forgotten he wandered with Joe back into the living room and rejoined the party._

_When he woke in the morning with a decent headache and a foggy memory, he’d forgotten all about the text he’d been thinking about sending Claire. Discovering it still sitting there unsent, he winced thinking about how awkward that could have made things. Instead, Claire had sent one final text before presumably heading off to bed._

_‘Be careful on the slopes! See you in a few days’_

Although he knew his drunken, flirty text probably was a terrible idea, he wished he’d found a way to tell her that he missed her too.

The admission that he was falling in love with her would have to wait.

* * *

Neil wandered toward the appetizer station before continuing on with his mingling.

Andrews’ party was spread throughout several rooms both at the ground and lower level. He’d even strung lights out on the patio, though the chill kept people inside despite the mild winter weather. There were probably plenty more people he could potentially talk to. There were a few colleagues he was looking forward to catching up with.

In the middle of sampling some kind of spiced carpaccio, he felt a presence standing closely next to him.

“Leave it to you to go directly to the raw meat.”

Neil turned at the familiar voice and smiled. “Some things never change.” He put his glass down on the nearby table and wrapped his arms around Jessica Preston in a loose but warm hug. Pulling back, he flashed a cheeky smirk. “You look great, of course.”

Her hair was slightly shorter, which suited her. She’d dressed in a stylish cocktail dress in burgundy and seemed as put together as always. They didn’t keep in close touch, but they did check in every once in a while. So, he knew that despite their former engagement ending a bit dramatically, she loved her new job up in San Francisco and in many ways was living her best life these days.

“Thank you,” she responded to his compliment. “You too. GQ as always.” She adjusted the collar of his suit like she used to do when they were together. Except this time, it felt more like a nostalgic tease than an act of intimacy.

“I didn’t realize you’d be here. It’s a nice surprise,” he said, a slight flirtatiousness to his tone.

“Well, I just got back from my sabbatical and I’d been putting off driving down to spend the weekend with my father.” They both laughed at how thrilled she must be for the occasion. “I figured it’d be fun to check in on Aaron and you and see what you’ve been up to while I was out of the country.”

“Right, you’ve been in Australia?” Jessica nodded. “I’m glad you could make it tonight then.”

Jessica gestured at their surroundings. “Not to mention the spectacle of a Marcus Andrews soiree. He knows how to pull out all the stops, that’s for sure.”

Neil nodded. “He does. But he’s got the house for it. I’d forgotten how beautiful this place is. Worth every penny and all those months renovating. God, I thought we’d never hear the end of that during staff meetings.”

“Oh yeah,” Jessica chuckled. “Remember when he made all of you take a poll on which countertop he should go with so he could win an argument with his wife? That didn’t turn out so well for him.”

Neil chuckled. “He was so pissed that everybody picked his wife’s choice. But he’d tipped his hand about his preference, and we were all so tired of hearing about it. I had forgotten all about that. I’ll have to make fun of him about it.” He looked past Jessica’s shoulder to the man in question. “If I can pull him away from his fan club.”

They both turned to spot Andrews across the room, holding court and in his element. He appeared to be joking with the dean of Stanford Medical School and surrounded by first- and second-year residents.

“Oh, let him be. I think he needs this to go well. It’ll help him feel like the choices he’s made in the past few years meant something but still hasn’t changed him too much, you know.”

Neil’s gaze softened on her. “Look at you, getting all sensitive on me. San Francisco has really mellowed you,” he joked, feigning faux regret and pity for her.

Jessica pinched him in the arm, but laughed. “Don’t count on it. Speaking of being a big softie, I saw Dr. Murphy when I first came in. I’m glad things are still going well.”

“You know residents. They all kind of grow on you after a while. And mine are less of a pain in the ass than the usual crop, so I’ll be thankful for that.”

“He seems to think highly of you, so congratulations for making it work. I ran into Dr. Reznick, too.”

Neil nodded. “Had you met her before?”

“Yeah, family acquaintance. But I’d only spoken to her once or twice at the hospital. The last time hadn’t been a walk in the park dealing with that Coyle situation. Still, she’s a woman after my own heart.”

“You two would get along well, I think,” he mused. “Like all of them, she’s got a lot to learn,” Neil revealed. “She works hard, though, and she’s talented. They’ve all got their quirks, but they’re some of the best I’ve worked with.”

“See? Softie,” Jessica grinned. “I heard you made a very sly introduction between your Dr. Park and the head of the AMA cardiology subcommittee based out in Phoenix. And to think you were worried a few years ago about getting into a rut taking on new residents.”

Recalling that long-ago conversation they’d had, Neil also marveled at how far he’d come. “Yeah, things have certainly taken some unexpected turns.”

It seemed strange to think what he’d had planned for his life back then. At the time, he couldn’t have imagined a future without Jess and the beginning of their own family. And now, it seemed like another life.

A moment of awkwardness lingered, before Jessica cleared her throat and looked around. “I haven’t seen Claire Browne. I’m surprised you’re not giving her the Melendez mentor treatment.”

Neil frowned. He couldn’t tell if Jessica intended her comment as a joke. They’d been apart long enough that he couldn’t be sure.

When they’d been together, he’d gotten the sense that Claire wasn’t Jessica’s favorite doctor after that whole debacle with the lost tissue sample that had cost the hospital a sizeable payout. Not that it had been Claire’s fault. It’d been more about Claire’s failure to follow instructions that had made the patient’s lawsuit against the hospital more difficult to fight. She’d complained about that enough nights over dinner. And she hadn’t loved him using Claire as an excuse to undermine her position when they’d all been working on the Kunkler twins.

Truth be told, they weren’t exactly compatible personalities. Claire being the ultimate soft touch was the kind of person to draw Jessica’s suspicion. She’d always been skeptical of people she thought of as too nice and therefore hiding something. He’d never mentioned how Claire had been the one to suggest his love for Jessica could be enough to forego his dreams of a family. Maybe he should have.

Jessica stared at Neil, probably also trying to decipher his change in mood. “Uh, Dr. Browne couldn’t make it,” Neil replied, simply. He could tell Jessica sensed more of a story there, and calculating how much she should push.

Taking a sip of her drink, Jessica cocked her head, weighing her options of how to satisfy her curiosity. But then she shrugged. “Oh. Well, that’s a shame.” Another awkward silence. “So, what have I missed over the last six months?”

Before he could reply, Neil’s phone buzzed. Pulling it out to check if it’s the hospital, Neil couldn’t suppress a grin at seeing a message from Claire.

_‘The verdict is in.'_

“What’s got you beaming like that,” Jessica asked trying to look at the message on his phone.

Neil shook his head. “Nothing. Just a silly bet I made at the hospital earlier.”

“Did you see this text!” Another voice popped in. Audrey Lim headed straight for him as she emerged from the dining area.

Both Neil and Jessica turned at Audrey’s approach. She had a tumbler of dark liquor similar to Neil’s and reached for one of the hors d’oeurves on the table next to them as she arrived. Neil looked back at the text and saw that Claire had indeed sent the message to both him and Audrey.

Earlier in the day before the party, he’d walked into Audrey’s office to drop off a patient file for her to review. She and Claire had been in conversation about changes to Claire’s schedule. That was when Claire broke the news that she wouldn’t be coming to the party. But the three of them had gotten into a spirited conversation about the foods Claire would be trying on Sam. Audrey agreed with Claire that Sam would really like beets, however, Neil insisted that Sam wouldn’t go for it.

Judging by the text, it looked like they had their answer.

“Something going on with a patient?” Jessica asked, now incredibly curious.

“Oh, hey, Jessica.” No one would call the two of them friends, but they’d been cordial. “I heard you were back from Australia. I want to hear about all the best beaches.”

Neil wondered how nervous he should be to have his two exes cozying up to each other.

“Audrey, hi. Congratulations on the Chief position. I know the competition was fierce.” Jessica glanced between the two of them as if gauging whether any bad blood remained between them. Of course, Audrey didn’t even notice, still looking at her phone.

“No, not that fierce,” Audrey responded, finally looking up and winking at Neil. He rolled his eyes but grinned.

“We’ll see who’s laughing in a second. I only saw the first text. Did she say what happened?” Just as he said it, another text came in. A video.

“Let’s find out.” Audrey leaned in with her phone so they could both look at the video. Jessica peeked over his shoulder, clearly interested in what their competition was about. Audrey pressed play.

A view of Sam’s high chair came into view, angled mostly toward him, but with a partial image of Claire in front of him at their kitchen table. Sam looked rather thoughtful for dinner time. Perhaps he knew the test coming.

“Is that Claire Browne? She has a kid?” Jessica probed, seeming unable to process what she saw in front of her.

“Shhhh,” both Neil and Audrey said, focusing again on the video.

Claire’s voice could be heard faintly coming through over the din of the crowd. No one else at the party seemed to notice the distraction, so involved in their own conversations as the quiet music piped in throughout the entertaining rooms.

_‘Alright Sammy, time for something new. I know you’re gonna like this.’_

In a bowl she had what looked like a small serving of deep red gelatin. Neil wondered if she’d bought the beets or made them herself. Depending on the outcome, he’d have to ask later. While Sam loved avocados and sweet potatoes, and even enjoyed the pureed peas Claire had introduced last month, he remained picky about solid foods. Claire and Audrey thought he’d do well with beets being on the sweeter side, but Neil knew better. In his opinion, the flavor would be too pungent for his little taste buds.

Off to the side of the tray, Neil could see that he’d already had a bit of the chicken curry he liked. Oh, Claire thought she was so clever trying to butter him up before the big taste test.

Claire dug a small sample of the beets onto her spoon and cooed at Sam who smiled at her and reached for the spoon, probably expecting more curry. Instead, Claire eased in the beets, which Sam gobbled up. Immediately, he registered the difference in what he’d been expecting and seemed to roll the new food around in his mouth.

Neil almost groaned. He was never going to hear the end of it from Claire and Audrey for losing this bet.

Suddenly, Sam’s face fell into what Neil had dubbed his annoyed expression and promptly spewed the beets back out of his mouth, spraying Claire right in the face. She yelped moving her hands up too late to block the onslaught of mushed up food all over her.

“OH!” Neil and Audrey exclaimed loudly at the same time, drawing a few stares from around the room. Then they both erupted into laughter.

At first, the video showed Sam laughing at the mess he’d made. But as Claire reached for a towel to wipe herself off and work out a bit of food that had gotten into her eye, the little boy started to get concerned. His brow furrowed and his lower lip began to tremble.

_“C.C.!”_

Sam called out to Claire, probably thinking he’d made her cry. Neil’s heart tightened at the cuteness of this kid and how much he loves his big sister.

Claire was quick to reassure him even as she continued to rub at her eye.

_‘It’s okay, Sammy, I’m okay. Just really, really sad that I have to tell your Uncle Neil that he was right.’_

She lightly pinched Sam’s cheeks in affection, which he usually loved, but Sam remained upset.

_‘See, all better.’_

She’d dropped the towel and continued to coo at him until he calmed down. Picking up the spoon, she added another small helping of beets.

_‘You sure you don’t want any, Sammy? Come on, one more try to save your C.C. and Auntie Audrey 50 bucks.’_

She ate the spoonful herself, and then scooped some more up from him, making yummy sounds as she did so. Sam was not buying it. When Claire tried to feed him more, he pushed her arm out of the way.

_‘Oh well. You win this one, Melendez.’_

Then the video cut off. Next to him, he could hear Audrey scoffing. “She should have tried it herself _before_ giving it to him. Double or nothing?” she joked to him. “He just needs a couple of tries.”

“No way,” Neil said. “The video doesn’t lie.”

“Wait,” Jessica said, looking as if she had a million questions. “Since when does Dr. Browne have a kid? And why are you betting on him? And Uncle Neil and Auntie Audrey?”

Audrey backed up, extricating herself from the awkward turn to the conversation. “I’ll let Neil handle all that. Good to see you, Jessica. We’ll talk beaches later.”

“Uh, where’s my fifty bucks?” Neil called after her.

“What? Can’t hear you,” Audrey said, disappearing into the crowd, smirking.

Neil turned back to a still confused Jessica waiting for an explanation. “It was a bet about the beets,” he tried to explain, weakly. “Uh, it’s a long story.”

Jessica crossed her arms, now impatient. “Well, we both have full glasses of booze, so I’d be very interested to hear a long story about your resident being so chummy with her boss and the chief of surgery. I always suspected she had you wrapped around her finger. Wouldn’t have expected Lim too.”

Neil’s annoyance – and protectiveness – flared. “She’s not my resident anymore, and it’s not like that. Sam is her little brother who she’s been taking care of since her mother died last year. She had to give up a lot to take on a responsibility she never asked for. We’ve all been looking after her, me, Audrey and Aaron, and her former co-residents.”

At least Jessica seemed genuinely shocked at hearing his explanation. “I—I had no idea. Aaron didn’t mention it.”

“Well, now you know.”

Looking over her shoulder, Neil noticed a vaguely familiar older man approaching them. “Jessica, I thought that was you! It’s been too long. How’s your father?”

Jessica pulled her eyes away from Neil to address the new addition to their conversation. “Jack, so good to see you. My father is well, though, he hasn’t mentioned beating you at golf lately so I assume you’ve been on a lucky streak.”

“Indeed, yes.” The man finally noticed Neil standing next to Jessica. “I’m going to steal this young lady away for a minute. We really need to catch up. You don’t mind do you?”

Neil gestured for them to continue as the man led Jessica to the next room where it was quieter. Neil felt relieved to have had that particular conversation cut off. He quickly texted back to Lim and Claire multiple dollar sign emojis and pocketed his phone so he could focus on the party. Plus, he heeded to shake off his annoyance at Jessica’s questioning.

An hour later, he found himself out on Andrews’ deck, only a few braving the outdoor area in the mild but still crisp weather. He’d taken a call from the hospital about a patient, but standing in the cool air afterwards for a bit felt nice.

Before he could put his phone away, he saw another text come in. Claire again, this time just to him.

_‘How do you think, Sam would feel about broccoli?’_

Neil chuckled. He started tapping out an answer but then popped in one of his earbuds again and called her instead.

“Haven’t you had enough rejection for one week?” Neil asked when she picked up.

The sound of Claire’s laughter warmed him against the light wind of the evening. “I still think Sam will come around to beets. I’m not ready to throw in the towel.”

“Speaking of which, how’s your eye? It looked like Sam pegged you good.”

“Ugh, he really did. I flushed it out after I put him to bed. Thankfully, I’ll live. How’s the party?”

“Terrible. So many boring people and the food is lousy.”

“You are such a liar,” she said with mirth. “That must mean it’s pretty awesome. Did Dr. Ade show up?”

“Maybe …” Neil said, coyly. Claire made sad, faux-crying noises. “I can bring you a doggy bag if you’d like,” he offered, chuckling.

“Hmph, don’t do me any favors. I know you really just want to collect your 50 bucks. But you’re going to have to wait until Monday.”

“And don’t go trying to get out of it,” Neil warned.

Claire scoffed. “Hey, if that party’s so awesome, why are you on the phone with me.”

Neil thought about the question. It was a good one. Maybe it’s because he missed her company and wished she could be here with him. He’d been looking forward to introducing her around. Standing alone in the quiet night, yet again, he knew he’d have been just as happy spending the evening watching Sam discover a new vegetable he didn’t like.

But he didn’t tell her any of that.

“You know how these things go. It’s nice to get some air and quiet before getting back to it. I was taking a call about a patient when you texted.”

“Morgan is having the time of her life. Thankfully, she knows how to let a girl live vicariously through her. I’ve been getting updates all night.”

Neil chuckled. “She is definitely making the rounds. I’m glad she’s making the connections. You know it can only make me look good.”

“And _there’s_ that ego of yours, lest I forgot. Isn’t it enough that I owe you money?”

This playful side to their banter always filled Neil with a measure of contentment. He loved having this kind of comfortable rapport with another person – that other person being someone like Claire Browne made it all the better.

“If you want to negotiate, we could find an alternative payment for that 50 bucks.”

“I’m listening,” Claire responded, curious.

Neil mused for a moment. “How about me, you, and Sam –”

“Oh, there you are,” Jessica called out to him. “I’ve been looking all over for you.” She leaned in next to him with her drink, unaware that he was on the phone.

A pause on the line. “Oooh, you have a lady-friend looking for you?” Claire asked carefully. “Must be an even better party than I thought,” Claire teased. “She’s ‘been looking all over,’ Neil. I hope you’re worth it.”

“You are the worst, do you know that?” he teased back. He held up a finger to Jessica requesting she give him a minute to finish his call. “But I do have to go. What I was going to suggest was a baseball game like you’ve been promising.”

Claire groaned. “So boring. And there’s no way Sammy is going to sit through that.”

“You don’t know that. I think he’d love it. We watch it together all the time. And since I was right tonight, I’m gonna be right about this. Just think about it. I’ll bug you about it later.”

“Duly warned. Enjoy your lady-friend,” she shot back.

“Shut up,” he returned. They said their goodbyes and Neil pocketed his phone.

“Got tired of rubbing elbows with the elite in there,” he asked Jessica. Taking off his suit jacket, he draped it around her shoulders against the chill.

“It’s nice out here. And quiet. When I couldn’t find you, I figured you’d snuck away for a bit, as usual.”

“Nothing so dramatic. I had to take a call from the hospital.”

“And Claire Browne it sounded like.”

Neil didn’t respond right away. When he did, it was with a sigh. “Just checking on her. I know she wanted to be here, but her sitter cancelled at the last minute.”

“I can’t believe she’s taking care of a kid. She had so much promise.”

“She still does. Just, plans change.”

Jessica nodded. “We both know a thing or two about that.” Neil glanced at her and smiled, taking her hand. “It sounds like you’re enjoying being Uncle Neil.”

Neil couldn’t have held back his joy if he tried. “I do. Sam is a good kid. Sweet, curious, good-natured, like his sister. I admit, I enjoy spending time with him.”

“I know he’s lucky to have you. So is Claire.” They stood in silence taking in Andrews’ lovely view of the night sky. “And things with Claire …”

“Come on, Jess, we don’t need any more rumors getting started.”

She grinned. “So, there are rumors already out there.” Neil rolled his eyes. “I can see why though. When you talk about her, there’s something.”

His ex-fiancée is the last person with whom he wants to talk about his complicated feelings

“I don’t know what that’s supposed to mean.” Neil replied. “There’s nothing special for anyone to see except a friend trying to help out a promising young doctor who had a hell of a complicated hand dealt to her.”

“I’m not just anyone, Neil,” Jessica shot back. “I realize what a relationship with Sam must feel like for you, knowing how much you want to be a father; how much you want a family. Whatever is going on with Claire must feel awfully close to that.”

Neil shook his head. “I wouldn’t do that, Jess. I wouldn’t use them like that.”

“I know that too. That’s how I know there’s something more there.” Neil tried to move his hand from hers, but Jessica held on. “I’m not criticizing you, Neil. I want to know why you’re holding back. I’ve only ever wanted you to be happy. And she makes you happy, I can see it.”

“I just want to be there for Sam.”

“I can tell how much you love that little boy, but I’m talking about Claire. You may adore being Uncle Neil, but it’s Claire who puts _that_ smile on your face.” She shook her head, squeezing his hand. “Why are you denying yourself this?”

Neil sighed. “The last thing Claire needs is another complication in her life.”

It wasn’t exactly an open admission as he’d carelessly allowed with Joe, but it’d been on his mind more and more lately as he reconciled his attachments to Claire and Sam.

“What about what you need? And have you even asked her about what kind complications she can handle in her life,” Jessica challenged. “Look, I don’t know her very well, but she obviously trusts you. She wants you in her life.”

“She wants me in _Sam’s_ life.”

“Then show her how pleased you’d be with a package deal. I know it’s scary. And maybe I’m the last person to be pushing given how we ended things.” This time, its Neil that squeezed her hand. There are no hard feelings. Not anymore.

“It seems you’re still an expert at knowing what’s best for me?”

“I don’t mind that title. And who knows, in terms of office romances, maybe third time’s the charm.”

They both broke out in laughter at that.

“Just think about it, Neil. If it’s worth taking a chance on a life with Claire, don’t wait until that kid’s in college before you make a move.”

Neil chuckled, but it’s to hide the wave of fear that washed over him when Jessica said those words.

‘A life with Claire.’

He’d never put it that bluntly to himself and feels all that fear turn into pleasure, into desire. Still, there are so many unknowns. There was no way to know if Claire had ever even thought of them like that. Yes, they got along well, were good company to each other. But After Audrey and Jess, he wanted to be sure so he wouldn’t get his heart broken again.

“We’ll see,” he said. Jess looked at him skeptically. “I heard you, don’t worry. Just … I’ll think about it.”

“Good. Now come inside, it’s too cold for either of us to be out here, and I still need to tell you about Australia.”

That sounded like a conversation Neil could handle right now. So, he followed her inside, their hands still holding on to each other loosely as thoughts of Claire lingered.

TBC...


	12. Chapter 12

Claire smiled politely at the server delivering drinks for her and Morgan. She pushed the sugar packets closer to her friend, well aware of her coffee preferences from the years they’d worked together.

“I’m just saying that you should at least apply. There’s nothing in the rules that say you can’t throw your hat in.”

Claire rolled her eyes, not thrilled with yet another person hassling her about the application for the Chapman Fellowship due in a few weeks. “No, the rules don’t say it, but everybody knows that only full-rotation residents ever go to the committee. And even if by some miracle I did get advanced based on my first three years, there’s no way I would be able to accept. I can’t take the time off for the workshop portion or juggle the extra work with my current schedule.” She sighed. “Better to save the energy now.”

“You know, we should complain to somebody,” Morgan mused, loving a good fight. “It sounds like the program discriminates against working parents. There’s gotta be some kind of HR violation or something.”

Grinning, at Morgan’s enthusiasm, Claire took a sip of her coffee. Gone were the days when she quit drinking caffeine after 2pm. Keeping up with Sam until bedtime and then taking care of her own business took all the energy boosters she could manage.

“It’s fine Morgan. Really. I’m coming to terms with the sacrifices of being a full-time single parent. Sam is worth it, 100 percent. And I’ve learned to deal with the disappointment. If he’s healthy and happy and I’m getting by, that’s all I need.”

“Do you hear yourself?” Morgan challenged as she stirred a heap of sugar into her coffee. “You need to take better care of _you_. You shouldn’t be just getting by.”

“You’re one to talk,” Claire shot back. “Even without a kid, residency is no walk in the park. ‘Getting by’ is the best any of us can do.”

Morgan nodded, conceding the point. “I’m just saying that I know taking care of Sam is your first priority, but you don’t have to give up everything. You should do some things for you. It’s better for Sam to have a mom who feels as fulfilled as she can be. And that can’t happen if you don’t give yourself the chance to do things that are important to you.”

“Sam’s _sister_ is content and fulfilled when he’s content and fulfilled. At least for now. I need to focus on him. There’s still time for me to do more work-related things when he’s older.”

“Not the Chapman Fellowship, though. And not the Sacramento conference last month or the Advanced Surgical Techniques training last November. You’ve been low-key excited about applying for the Chapman since I met you. And you’re competitive, Claire. Look at who’s gotten it the past few years. Taylor? Polanski? Beaumont? You’re way better than any of those guys.”

Laughing, Claire picked up her coffee mug and held it in both hands. “Then why don’t _you_ apply?” Although, she was trying not to be grumpy about it, all of Morgan’s pushing could easily start getting on her nerves. She got enough of this kind of nagging from Neil.

Morgan waved her off. “Research is my thing. I don't have the community service hours to make it past the first round. I think Shaun might apply, though.”

“Good,” Claire said, a little too firmly. Of course, she wanted Shaun to apply. But Morgan had a point, sometimes it stung not to be pursuing her dreams in the way she’d originally imagined. Watching her former peers surpass her didn’t feel great.

Morgan narrowed her eyes, sensing that Claire’s emotions about the situation were more complicated than she let on. Before she could comment further, though, they both turned as the server again approached their table carrying a plate filled with tiny pastries.

“Oh, we didn’t order these,” Claire said as he set the plate in between them. He looked to be in his mid-twenties, handsome in a boyish kind of way. Nice smile, kind eyes with a bit of mischief to them.

He didn’t make any move to take the plate back. “On the house. We have extras, and I thought you lovely ladies might like an afternoon snack.” He flashed a charming grin between them.

Morgan seemed to appreciate the attention. “Well, thank you …” 

“Kevin,” he supplied.

“Thank you, Kevin,” Morgan said, beaming. “This is certainly a nice surprise.” Claire hid her chuckle behind another sip of coffee.

“You both seem so serious over here. I hope this helps. Let me know if I can get you anything else.” He smiled brightly at Morgan and then swung his playful gaze to her where he lingered for a beat longer than she expected.

Morgan's eyes remained focused on him as he retreated. “Hmm, now that’s interesting.”

“He’s all yours,” Claire offered, checking out the pastries. There were macarons, cannelés, a couple of madeleines and financiers. It was a tasty looking set of treats. “These pastries on the other hand, I’ll fight you for.” She broke off a piece of a financier and nodded in appreciation.

“Well, you might want to call dibs now because the competition is about to get pretty fierce.” From the opposite direction, Neil came strolling toward them with a cranky Sam in his arms judging by the frown on his face.

Meeting up at the new San Jose Food Hall & Market had been on Claire and Morgan’s list for a while, but something or another always came up. Today had been no exception. An ear infection had been plaguing Sam all week, so he’d turned into quite a grouch. Claire didn’t believe he would sit around patiently in a public place while grownups talked, especially with so much activity and a lot of people around.

Claire had gone looking for Morgan in the lounge during her break the day before to cancel in-person rather than send her a lame text message. She’d luckily found Morgan on the first try talking with Neil about a patient. After hearing about the situation, Neil being Neil had offered to tag along and distract Sam while they got in their quality friendship time. Claire had tried to decline, but Morgan wasn’t having it and jumped at the offer.

That’s how she found herself having leisurely coffee – and being hit on by attractive servers – on a Saturday afternoon with her former co-resident. All while Neil did the heavy lifting.

And Sammy definitely counted as an actual heavy lift. He was growing like a weed these days.

“This little guy really is a diva today,” Neil said as he approached them. “We were having a good time in the playroom and when he couldn’t get on the big slide, we had to leave to avert a total meltdown.”

Neil took a seat across from Claire and next to Morgan so Sam would have a better view of the activity around him. Nonetheless, Morgan seemed to be the biggest attraction as she made silly faces at him. Sam reached for her and Morgan plucked him eagerly from Neil and placed him into her lap where she could break off pieces of pastry for him.

“That’s one way to put him in a better mood,” Claire commented.

“That’s what I’m here for. Corrupting his sweet demeanor with a little gluttony.” Sam seemed to agree as he looked up at Morgan and pointed for more sweets. They all laughed at his antics.

“I see everyone is enjoying the snacks,” Kevin said coming to a stop next to Claire. “Look at this cute little guy!” he said, kneeling down and engaging Sam in a toddler conversation. Now in a much better mood, Sam was happy to have a new friend to chat with. When Kevin stood back up, he looked from Morgan to Neil and grinned. “He’s adorable. How old is he?”

“Nine months,” Morgan said wiggling him in her lap. She turned to Neil. “That reminds me, we are totally having a birthday party for him. He’s not going to remember or care, but it’s the best excuse for us to take an actual break from work. It’ll be something to look forward to. And we have to have lots of different balloons. All different colors – he’ll love that.”

Neil nodded. “Yeah, I know. I thought we were never going to tear him away from that party last week in the daycare center.”

“What? I don’t think you told me that story,” Claire said, chuckling. She made a mental note to start planning for the occasion, balloons and all.

“Oh, you were in surgery,” Morgan explained. “We dropped in on Sam while waiting to see the social worker down the hall.”

Hearing his name, Sam looked up at Morgan as he gnawed on a piece of pastry. Neil leaned over and gave him another one to hold and he waved it around.

“I must have forgotten to mention it." Neil added. "It was the same day we had that twelve-car pile-up that jammed the ER.” Claire nodded. She did remember that day. It had been a crazy afternoon, and she'd felt bad leaving when her shift finished to get Sam knowing how slammed they'd be for the rest of the night.

“So,” Kevin said, directing his attention to Claire. “Were you able to get some sweets before this little one got here? I have a feeling he’s going to charm all three of you out of a plateful of pastries, and then he’ll never get to sleep tonight.”

“No kidding,” Claire responded, laughing at the spot-on assessment. "Something tells me you have experience with that."

"Two little nephews," Kevin explained, smiling down at her. "Twins." Claire looked back, horrified. "It's not too bad. I admit, I'm kind of a sucker when I'm babysitting them. They can get away with anything just by looking cute. Kinda like this guy," he said, waving at Sam who'd recently learned to wave back and did so enthusiastically. Turning back to Claire, Kevin added, "Although, I can imagine you have your own brand of charm that could give him a run for his money.” Kevin’s teasing tone hinted at a more than friendly interest.

Claire cut her eyes back to him, assessing whether this kid was actually flirting with her so openly. Sure enough, he had a playful glint to his gaze. His attempts amused her, though she didn’t want to openly laugh in his face. It’s not that she wasn’t flattered. The sound of a throat clearing drew their attention.

Neil.

“If you’re done chatting, I wouldn’t mind getting an espresso shot. You know, if you’re not too busy,” he snarked.

A flash of confusion crossed the server’s face before he straightened and nodded nervously. “Of course, sir, right away.” His use of ‘sir’ seemed to irk Neil even more. Kevin tapped something on his tablet and scurried off.

“I guess Sam isn’t the only grouch today,” Claire said. “Or maybe Sam’s bad mood rubbed off on you in the playroom?”

Before Neil could respond, Sam broke into a whimper when Morgan wouldn’t give him more pastry while his mouth was already full. “Speaking of grumpy,” she said.

Claire reached for him and he burrowed his face into her neck and whined some more when she pulled him into her arms. “I think he needs changing,” she said poking at his diaper. "That’s probably annoying him too."

“I changed him before we got to the playroom,” Neil said, grabbing a macaron from the pile and popping it into his mouth.

“Well, he’s a super-pooper these days. It’s the curse of starting him on solid foods.”

She grabbed his diaper bag and whispered soothing words into Sam’s ear as they retreated to a bathroom to take care of business. Sure enough, he’d unloaded a poop-bomb into his diaper and seemed to cheer up after she got him cleaned and changed. Maybe she should go easy on the berries in his breakfast from now on.

When Claire returned from the bathroom five minutes later, it was to a very different scene than she left. Neil sat sipping his espresso looking a little annoyed with Morgan, though not angry. Morgan seemed particularly smug as she nibbled on one of the madeleines.

“All better?” Neil asked, taking Sam from her and settling him on his lap.

“Yep. All cleaned up. He gave me a real run for my money on that one.”

Neil laughed. “Berries?”

Claire groaned. “Probably.” Sam seemed a lot calmer now, though he’d already started eyeing the pastries again.

“Maybe we should take a little walk around the food hall so Sammy can look at all the sights. Give you two more time to gossip,” he teased.

"You want the stroller?" Claire asked, pointing to where it leaned against the barrier next to her.

Neil seemed to consider it. "No, we should be okay. I'm afraid he'll go to sleep before his regular nap time if we use the stroller, and then the whole day will be off."

Nodding, Claire agreed. "Good point."

He swallowed the last of his espresso and hauled Sam onto his hip. “You ready for another adventure, Pal?” Sam looked up at him and smiled. “I’ll take that as a yes.” He sent another glare at Morgan and wandered away, murmuring in Sam’s ear as they walked.

“What was all that about,” Claire asked, going back to sipping her now cooled coffee.

Morgan laughed. “Oh, you missed some good stuff.”

“How is that even possible? I was only gone for like five minutes.”

“And that’s all it took for the drama to start.” At that point, Kevin returned and picked up Neil’s now empty cup. He smiled politely at Morgan and Claire.

“Okay, what happened, Kevin. You don’t like us anymore?” Claire joked, surprised at his behavior after he’d been so friendly.

“Melendez happened,” Morgan said before Kevin could answer. “Let’s just say he left a special tip for Kevin. When he came back with the espresso, Melendez made the oh so helpful suggestion for him to keep his mind on the coffee and not on finding a date for the night.”

“He what?” Claire said, chuckling. “That doesn’t sound like him.”

“Are you kidding? That sounds exactly like him lately. And I told him so.” She turned to Kevin. “He’s not ready to make a move, but he doesn’t want anyone else to make a move either.”

Both Kevin and Claire seemed shocked. “Morgan! Not you too. I get enough grief from Park.”

“Wait, I thought _you_ and that guy were together,” Kevin said pointing at Morgan. “And maybe you were his sister or something, and that’s why he didn’t want me talking to you.”

Morgan cackled. “First, me and Melendez? That’s hilarious. Second, he definitely does not think of Claire as his sister, I can tell you that much.”

“Morgan,” Claire warned.

“What? I told him if he wasn’t going to make a move, he couldn’t fault other guys for trying.”

Claire scowled at her. “You didn’t.”

“You bet I did. I’m tired of dealing with you two.”

Kevin looked from one to the other. “So, you’re _with_ that dude?”

“NO!” Claire said.

“You may as well be. I mean, you two are practically playing house with Sam."

Sometimes Morgan’s ‘tell-it-like-it-is’ attitude could be incredibly irritating. “I’ll tell you like I told Park. He’s just being helpful, and he’s really attached to Sam. He loves kids.”

“You’re that kid’s mom?” Kevin asked, looking thoroughly confused.

“Yes,” Claire said. “Well, not technically. It’s complicated.” She thought about explaining further and then changed her mind. Instead, she turned back to Morgan. “I really think you’ve got the wrong idea. Just last month I heard him flirting with someone over the phone when he was at Andrews’ party."

“Uh, I was there, and I’m pretty sure there was no other woman. He spent most of the night schmoozing like the rest of us and having awkward conversations with Jessica Preston. And you conveniently glossed over the fact that he was talking to _you_ in the middle of a party while he was supposed to be socializing with the rest of us.”

“How did you even find out about that?” Claire asked, amazed.

“I hear things,” Morgan responded. "And you should definitely agree to go to a baseball game with him. Throw the poor guy a bone."

Even Kevin seemed dubious as he looked to Claire for a response.

Claire sighed. “Morgan let it go. He’s not interested. I’m not interested.”

“Oh, he’s interested,” Kevin offered.

“Not you too! Kevin, you’re supposed to be on _my_ side,” Claire whined.

“Now that I know you’re not related, there is no other way to interpret that guy’s behavior. He was not about me flirting with you.”

Claire grinned at him. “So, you _were_ flirting with me.”

“Of course, I was,” Kevin said, that teasing tone returning. “But it’s not worth getting on that guy’s bad side.” Claire rolled her eyes.

“ _I’m_ not taken,” Morgan offered, batting her eyelashes at Kevin. He returned his attention to her and beamed.

“For the record, neither am I,” Claire threw back, but the two of them were already engaged in an intense silent exchange. She dunked the edge of a financier into her coffee and nibbled on the pastry.

“Oh, never mind,” she added, grinning at the absurd situation.

Morgan and Claire finally returned to their conversation after Kevin went off to see to other customers. Claire tried to move the conversation away from her and Neil and the things that were definitely _not_ happening between them.

Sure, she’d thought about it. The idea that they could be something more had crossed her mind on more than one occasion. It’s hard not to seeing how great he was with Sammy, but also how attentive he could be to her. Like today for example. Yes, hanging out presented the perfect excuse to spend time with Sam. But it’s not like he couldn’t have seen her brother at his usual bath time or some other occasion. He’d volunteered because he knew it would help Claire out. 

She realized that sometimes she leaned into that draw to Neil, that feeling of safety and comfort when he spent time with her and Sammy. Or when he lingered and it was just the two of them.

She thought back to the holidays when Neil had come over on Christmas day and spent the evening opening presents and hanging out just the three of them. He’d mentioned then that his ski trip was back on and then promised that the following New Year’s would be all hers and Sammy’s. She appreciated the gesture, but took, it with a grain of salt. Who knew what either of their lives would be like that far away. He could very well be seeing someone and prefer to spend the holiday with her.

It seemed like a good idea not to get too attached. Well, she already found herself too attached, but more and more lately, she felt it necessary to erect some boundaries so as not to be too disappointed when another person in her life eventually moved on to someone more important. That had been happening her whole life practically.

Though, the thought of Neil walking away hurt way too much for her to think about. Hoping for something more seemed overwhelming as well. What if it’s all in her head?

Sending that text to him right after midnight on New Year's had been a moment of weakness. A few friends had checked in on her; one had even invited her to a dinner party. They were only being polite, though. She really couldn’t manage it with Sam’s bedtime routine. So, she’d spent a quiet night in, a little lonely but happy to be entering the new year with her little brother in her life. She hadn’t meant to stay up so late. But she’d started watching a movie, and before she knew it, the ball was dropping on the west coast.

She held Sam in her arms throughout the night rather than put him in the crib. He didn't seem to mind. When midnight hit, her first thought was a vow to make the new year and every year after that his best.

Her second thought was of Neil and hoping he’d keep watch over Sam, too. So, she’d texted him.

And he’d answered immediately with some smartass remark. He seemed a little tipsy judging by the speed – or lack thereof – of his texts. And when she’d wished him a happy new year, he’d gone silent, probably back to whatever partying he and his friends had been doing. It’d been nice to hear from him, and she was relieved he'd let himself let loose and have a little fun. He worked so hard and did so much for her and Sam that he deserved the down-time.

Moving on from thoughts of Neil and work and other life complications, she and Morgan ordered another round of coffee – this time decaf for Claire – as they polished off the pastries. Neil came back with a drowsy Sam on his shoulder and gently sat down while Morgan went to settle the bill.

“I think Morgan’s got an ulterior motive in paying the check,” Claire said. She’d offered to take Sam or put him in his stroller to doze. Neil had waved her off preferring to hold him. 

“What do you mean?” he asked eating the last of the pastries.

Pointing toward the counter, they spotted Morgan and Kevin leaning into each other as the bill sat untouched between them.

“Jealous?” Neil asked.

Claire frowned, taken aback. She couldn’t quite decipher his tone, but it didn’t sound nice. “What’s that supposed to mean?

He shrugged. “He just seemed really interested in you not too long ago.”

“And? I’m supposed to swoon every time a guy bats his eyes at me?”

“You didn't seem to mind. In fact, you seemed really friendly.”

Now Claire’s pissed. “Excuse me? You got that from the 60 seconds he spent at the table before you barked your order at him?”

“I didn’t bark at him. I just ordered. And I saw the three of you chatting away after I left.”

She sighed. “Neil, what’s going on? Morgan told me what you said to him when I was gone. Where is this coming from?”

“Maybe I didn’t like the way he was leering at you.”

Claire laughed. “Okay, he admitted he was flirting, but he wasn’t leering at me. He’s a guy in his twenties who knows he’s good looking and charming. That’s how they are. You can’t tell me you were any better.” Neil switched Sam from one shoulder to the other, probably as a distraction from answering. They both knew she was right – he’d told her the stories from his wild youth himself.

“Right, I’m sure he’s the kind of guy that’s going to be great with Sam. He's got all that experience with his nephews, right?” he said, changing tactics.

“You don’t even know him,” Claire said.

She really didn't understand why he chose this situation to be an overprotective pain in the ass. Not to come across as a narcissist, but it wasn't exactly shocking to catch a guy flirting with her, including at work.

“You said yourself that he's probably a young, cocky kid looking for a good time," Neil snarked back. "You’re always talking about how you just want to focus on Sam, but you’re willing to roll the dice on that guy?”

Claire set her cup down a bit more harshly than she’d intended. Sam, now asleep, stirred but didn’t wake.

"Seriously, what _is_ going on with you? Either Sam’s bad mood really is contagious or you're choosing to be a jerk.” Thinking back to what Morgan and Kevin had implied, a part of her wanted to believe that maybe his comments were about something else. Projection because of his own jealousy?

But he didn’t seem jealous at all. He seemed irritated. At her. The silence hung between them as they both stewed.

“When were you going to tell me that you decided not to apply for the Chapman?” Claire rolled her eyes and crossed her arms defensively as she slumped in her chair. Morgan and her big mouth. “We talked about this. You said you’d try.”

“No, I said I’d consider it. I did and I’m not.” Neil gave her that cold, stoic look she knew well from the early days of her residency: Neil waiting her out for an explanation. “I don’t have time to waste on something I’m not going to get or could participate in if even if I did.” Neil continued to stare. “I am swamped getting Sam settled in with a new daycare teacher, finishing that research project with Barnes, and just getting through my shifts every day. I don’t have time to—”

“Claire, what happened to making time? You have people that will help you if it’s something you really want. And you can talk as big a game as you like with Morgan, but I know how much you want that fellowship.”

"Used to want." She looked away, lips tight and body tense. “Things change,” she said, quietly.

In her head, she recognized that her friends thought they were being kind. But didn’t they realize how much it hurt to be reminded of the achievements that were now beyond her reach? Neil more than anybody knew this. Why was he being so difficult?

“It’s _my_ career, _my_ life. I don’t understand why you’re giving me such a hard time about this,” Claire grumbled.

“And I don’t understand why you’re being so stubborn about this.”

“Stubborn?” Claire scoffed. He didn't get to be a jerk to everyone around him, pick a fight with her, and then call her stubborn. “Maybe you should try being my friend and not my boss or my dad.”

She could tell from the tightening around his mouth, that she’d hit a nerve. Maybe that’d been harsh. But he was being totally unreasonable. All of it – the prodding and judging from Morgan and Neil, Sam's bad mood, this entire conversation – it had soured the day. Claire didn’t have the energy to fight with him.

“It doesn’t matter. I’ve already decided. I know you think I'm a mess, but I don't have to tell you everything.”

She stood and tucked one of Sam’s toys and an empty bottle farther into his diaper bag. She grabbed the stroller that she’d left leaning against the barrier and unfolded it. Gesturing for Neil to pass Sam over, he paused before reluctantly releasing the baby and watching as she placed him carefully into the stroller without waking him.

“Claire—”

“Don’t,” she said. “I’m not in the mood for another lecture.” She could see him fighting a tidal wave of emotions. That wasn’t her problem, though. They both needed to cool off, maybe. And he’d really upset her – they’d never argued like this before.

Morgan came rushing up to them. “Hey, what’s going on?” Claire glanced beyond her and noticed Kevin looking on with concern from the register.

“Nothing’s going on,” Claire said. “Sam’s tired so we’re going to head out. It was fun to hang out, though.” She wrapped her purse and the diaper bag around her shoulders and grabbed the bag of items she’d picked up from the other stalls at the market. “Neil,” she threw over her shoulder before strolling past Morgan toward the exit. As she turned the corner, she caught a glimpse of Morgan with her arms crossed and in a heated conversation with Neil.

Good. Morgan can deal with him and his bad attitude.

She didn’t want to seem ungrateful for everything Neil did for her and Sam. But he didn’t get to control her life. And thinking about what Morgan had said about him having feelings for her – Park’s side-comments too – it annoyed her more. Why wouldn’t he just say something if that were the case?

No, they were making too much out of things. Romance didn’t motivate him. Pity did. He felt sorry for her that she couldn’t be the kind of surgeon she wanted. Or the way he’d been talking today, she’d become a disappointment in not being the kind of doctor he expected her to be. And when she didn't do what _he_ wanted her to do, he'd walk away like everyone else she'd let herself get close to.

Claire got Sam into his car seat, triple checking everything before arranging his diaper bag and other items in the back seat. After struggling with the latch on his stroller, she finally got it all tucked away. Going anywhere with Sam meant it took a fair amount of time to get settled and on the road. 

Driving carefully through the city streets, Claire allowed herself to calm down. Maybe she’d been too hard on Neil. She accepted that he believed he’d been helping her with his unsolicited advice. He could get overprotective and usually she didn’t mind because she recognized he wanted the best for her and Sam.

But he’d been out of line about the server. That she just didn’t get.

Twenty minutes later, Claire parked in the back of her apartment building and began the slow process of gathering her things and getting Sam out of his car seat without waking him. If she was lucky, she’d get him in the apartment and in his crib to sleep for another half an hour – or long enough for her to get settled in. She chuckled as she looped the bag full of groceries onto the handle of the stroller getting it all in one trip. Park would be proud of her for that. She took her time winding through the hallways from the back entrance to reach her apartment.

And when she rounded the corner to her front door, there Neil was leaning against the door.

He stood with a sheepish look on his face and a to-go box from the café they’d been at. Knowing that she’d be slowed down by Sam, he’d beaten her here and used his emergency key to get in the building and wait for her.

“It’s croissants,” he said when she reached him, gesturing at the box. “Kevin said they’d keep overnight.”

This time, it was Claire’s turn to look as if her emotions were all over the place. The annoyance lingered, although the anger had dissipated. Yet her heart swelled at the gesture. He’d even waited by the door to be invited in – or turned away – even though he had the key to her apartment.

“I promise not to lecture. I’m sorry I made you feel as if I don’t respect your choices. You were right, I was being an arrogant jerk.”

He hadn’t walked away from her. She’d expected the worst, yet here he stood. Claire sighed. How could she turn him away?

Claire waited next to him, considering his words carefully. "For the record, I didn't call you arrogant." She heard his strangled chuckle as she unlocked the door. “You can come in on two conditions.”

“Name it.”

“One, can we just drop the Chapman Fellow stuff. I don’t want to talk about it right now. Maybe later but not right now.”

Neil nodded. “Of course.” He followed her inside and watched as she unbuckled and pulled a now awake and drowsy Sam from the stroller. “What’s the other condition?”

Claire held Sam up and out to him. “You take care of his poop-bomb this time.”

Laughing, Neil took Sam from her without hesitation. “Okay, I deserve it. It’s the least I can do.”

He held Sam to him, rubbing his back and smiling down as the boy curled into his neck sleepily, eyes slowly blinking awake.

“And I’m sorry, too. I’ve spent most of my life taking care of myself. This," she waved her had between the two of them, "still takes some getting used to. Thank you. For caring about my career.”

Neil looked up from Sam and hesitated as if he wanted to say something, respond in some way to her confession. But he must have decided against it and only smiled. In his expression the contrition and apology were clear.

Claire held his gaze, understanding, accepting, and finally smiling in return.

They would be okay.

_TBC..._


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So happy to get an update done! Sorry for the delay - work is really kicking my butt. But I knocked a few other things off my plate and now have more time for this story. So we'll see how many chapters I can spruce up this weekend. 
> 
> Please forgive any medical nonsense and stray typos. And thank you again for reading!

Neil rubbed at his eyes, a tension building deep in his skull. He dreaded and hated the inevitable direction of the evening.

Though the end of his shift approached, he sat at the lounge conference room table as his team studied medical journals, wrote out their findings on the white board, and examined the latest scans and imaging for a case that, simply put, confounded them. The patient remained stable, but they’d been throwing out ideas all afternoon. If they didn’t come up with a solution by the end of the night, they’d be down to the worst surgical option that would leave their patient – a prominent civil rights attorney and personal friend – with a damaged heart and a spot on the transplant list she likely would never ascend in time.

Shaun paced as he added another notation to the white board. “I think non-surgical options would be best. We can find a better solution if she has more time. And she’ll have more time if we don’t operate.”

“But if we don’t operate, her heart could fail at any time,” Park added.

“And who knows if we’ll have any better options tomorrow. Or the next day.” Morgan added, irritable.

Biting back a sharp reply of his own about how their tone wasn’t helping anything, Neil rose from the table and gathered himself by pouring more coffee from the serving tray. They were all frustrated at not being able to find a solution, and Neil didn’t have many more mediation tricks up his sleeve given his own ever-shortening temper.

He remained the most frustrated of them all. He’d known the patient since undergrad, had been at her wedding and at the bar with her for her divorce. She’d come to him first looking for a referral when her regular doctors proved unhelpful; she’d come back to him when they’d told her nothing could be done. She was counting on him to find a solution. Neil felt the pressure of it all.

And he had the added anxiety that the situation – even if unavoidable and exactly where he needed to be – also meant his important plans for the night were getting ruined by the second.

The last couple of weeks had been unpredictable. One day would be dead while the next would bleed into a double shift. It’d been difficult to keep a schedule. His entire team was feeling punchy from it, which didn’t help their current conversation. They’d been sniping at each other for the last few days, and he didn’t see the evening improving their dispositions.

What had kept him sane was looking forward to tonight when he’d vowed to take the evening off to spend with Claire and Sam. And that option was rapidly disappearing. The severe lack of quality time with them and his eagerness to make up for it had him more irritable each day. He barely even saw Claire in passing, though they texted often enough.

Maybe a few months ago, it’d be a minor inconvenience. But his perspective had certainly changed recently.

Things had been a little awkward since he and Claire argued a couple of weeks before. He’d been kind of a jackass and pissed her off. He shouldn’t have pushed so hard about the Chapman Fellowship. And he certainly shouldn’t have lashed out at her like an insecure, jealous boyfriend. 

Looking back on it, he’d let himself get too keyed up. Sam had been uncharacteristically cranky and a bit of a handful. Then watching the guy at the café so openly hitting on Claire had irritated him. It reminded him of his friend Joe’s warning that someone else would surely swoop in and charm Claire from right under his nose if he didn’t tell her how he felt.

So, he’d snapped at the server and endured another round of ribbing from Morgan for it. She’d let it slip about Claire’s decision to give up on the Chapman. So, Neil had channeled his annoyance into reacting to that, pissing Claire off in the process. After years of working with her and being her friend, he knew logically that she responded best when allowed to come to him when she’s ready. Yet, he’d still backed her into a corner and paid the price for it. He hadn’t been able to control himself at hearing Claire backtrack about the Fellowship. The idea of her giving up on something so important really bothered him, and he knew it bothered her too even if she tried to downplay it.

And, of course, his reaction had also been a reflection of his fears about something else entirely. A fear of rejection over something he hadn’t even had the courage to share with her yet.

When he’d agreed to help with Sam that day so Claire and Morgan could hang out for a while, he’d had it all planned out. He’d pick up some provisions at the market and offer to come over to help get Sam down for the night. Then he’d make them dinner and segue into a bit of a heart to heart where he’d finally work up the courage to admit his feelings for her.

When he’d failed to keep his temper, that all went down the drain.

Watching Claire storm off in anger and disappointment hit him hard. He’d wanted to go after her, but couldn’t calm down enough to know how to make it right and risk making things worse. And Morgan, getting the gist of what happened, had been none too pleased.

_‘You knew she’d be defensive about the Chapman. Why would you push her?’_

_‘I was just trying to talk it through. But then she brought up that guy,’ he said pointing at Kevin who kept stealing glances from the register where he was ringing up someone else. ‘Things got out of control.’_

_Morgan crossed her arms and glared at him. ‘Oh, I see. You went all Neanderthal again. How many times do Park and I have to spell it out for you, Melendez: she thinks you’re in this – whatever it is you two are ‘in’ – because of Sam. She sees herself as some kind of burden to you.’_

_‘She knows that’s not true.’_

_‘Does she? Do you spend any time with her that’s not about Sam?’_

_‘That’s not fair. Sam is her first priority. I don’t want to make things complicated for her.’_

_‘Then stop making it more complicated! She’s never going to stop seeing herself as an obligation unless you man up and show her what she means to you – which by the way, you are not denying, I’ll note,’ Morgan added with a hint of a smirk._

_Neil ignored her. ‘She knows I support her too.’_

_‘Yeah, because of Sam. And because you were her boss.’ She sighed. ‘This is Claire Browne we’re talking about. She’s great at taking care of other people, not so much at letting other people take care of her. You keep hiding behind Sam as a reason to spend time with her. What else is she supposed to think?’_

_Neil scowled at her. He hadn’t thought about it from that angle, but it made sense. Claire’s default was definitely self-sufficiency. She’d said it herself that she couldn’t really rely on people to put her first. Everyone had an ulterior motive._

_Morgan grabbed his coat and shoved it at him before pushing him toward the exit. ‘Melendez, go apologize. If you leave now, you’ll beat her home. You know it takes her forever to get Sam in and out of the car.’_

_Neil let himself be led, though not pleased about it._

_‘Wait!’ She stopped at the register where Kevin still stood, now amused at Morgan’s strong arming. ‘Kevin, what have you got in the case that’ll keep for a while?'_

_Kevin swept his eyes across the offerings. ‘The almond croissants are good for that.’ He scooped up a few and put them in a carryout box._

_Morgan grabbed the box and shoved it into Neil’s hands. ‘Don’t show up empty-handed. Tell her you’re sorry. And then tell her how you feel. For god’s sake, put us all out of our misery.'_

Neil had left them in a daze that stayed with him as he got into his car and drove to her place. And after an awkward but heartfelt apology – that she’d thankfully accepted – and enduring a very messy diaper change as punishment, they’d spent a quieter night than usual playing with Sam.

They hadn’t talked about the fellowship. And it hadn’t felt like the right time to bring up what really plagued his mind and heart.

Instead, he’d spent the last couple of weeks stewing and second-guessing and dodging Morgan and Park’s judgement until he’d finally worked up the courage to take the plunge tonight. He’d texted Claire a few days ago, and she’d sounded excited about finally getting to see him after such a crazy stretch at the hospital.

Except it didn’t look like that’d be happening. He hadn’t even had the heart to update her about it yet, hoping for some last-minute save.

Behind him, he could hear the debate escalating as Park and Morgan bickered over their own opinions on the surgical procedures they thought were the best approach. Shaun stood listening, but still focused on his own theory by listing out the treatments that could continue to stabilize their patient for at least a few days. Pinching the bridge of his nose to release some tension, Neil knew he should step in, but didn’t quite trust himself not to snap at them for arguing rather than brainstorming.

Times like these he really missed Claire’s presence. She had a way of balancing everyone’s personalities out. Maybe she’d stave off comments on Shaun’s idea by asking questions of her own. Or she’d deflect Morgan’s frustration with some well-timed light bickering. His team had been their own messy but efficient entity, a well-oiled machine that shouldn’t have worked but did. With one of their own gone, even after all of this time, they constantly felt the phantom pain of Claire’s absence.

Not that he could bring himself to regret it. Without that shakeup in her life, he wouldn’t know a whole other side of her that he quite liked – or welcomed a little boy into his world that he couldn’t imagine living without now.

As if answering some unconscious beacon, everyone turned at hearing the lounge door open. They’d been too busy bickering to see Claire approach.

“Well, look at all these bright, happy people, Sammy!”

Neil looked at his watch realizing it had gotten later than he’d realized. Claire bypassed the conference table to cut through the seating area and pop into Neil’s office to grab a small tote bag sitting on one of the chairs. She must have dropped it off earlier and he’d spent so little time there today, he hadn’t noticed. It had become a regular habit for her to leave things in his office if she got caught in the back and forth with the day care center, especially on days like today when they planned on leaving around the same time.

Everyone paused when she entered, and then went back to their bickering. After all, they were pretty used to seeing her swing by with her little brother. Neil, for one, couldn’t have been more relieved.

When Claire re-emerged, Neil watched as all three residents gravitated toward her to reach for Sam. The toddler babbled happily, thrilled at all the attention.

“Claire, you’re just in time,” Morgan said, grabbing one of Sam’s hands and shaking it. “We need a tie-breaker about this patient. Why don’t you unleash the little guy and make yourself useful? Park, tell her why we’re right.”

“You tell her,” Park said. He stood on the other side of Claire and expertly pulled Sam from her sling and then raised him up above his head. Sammy giggled at the new fun game and then reached for Morgan who had resorted to tickling him when back in Park’s hold.

“What is going on here? I only stopped by to pick up my bag before Sammy and I head home for dinner.” She turned to Neil with a silent question about whether he’d be joining her. Seeing his sour expression and slight shake of the head, she nodded in sympathy.

Park continued to play airplane with the little boy whose giggles had become infectious and lifted the group’s mood. “You can have dinner here,” Park offered. “A working dinner where you help your old buddies out with a medical mystery.”

Looking back at Claire from where she was teasing Sam with a stuffed bear she’d snatched from his diaper bag, Morgan added, “You have to stay. Otherwise we might murder each other before we find a solution that won’t kill our patient.” Neil couldn’t fault her argument there.

Claire looked at the papers and articles spread out on the table and glanced furtively at Shaun and his marker-scrawled white board. “I don’t know if I’ll be much help. Sammy kept me up half the night, and I’m sure you heard about the insanity over in the clinic today during my shift. A busload of middle-schoolers fresh off a paintball massacre. I’m sure I’ll be scrubbing off hidden paint spots for a week. So, I’m not exactly at my peak right now.”

That rumor _had_ made its way to the surgical unit, and Neil had texted her a paint splat and laughing emoji. Her response could best be described as 'not ladylike.'

Shaun hung back, waiting to make his case to Claire as well. “I have everything written down here,” he gestured to the white board. “You’re very good at brainstorming ideas even when you’re tired.” He withdrew back to the board signaling Claire to follow.

When Claire looked over to Neil for guidance, he merely shrugged and grinned over his coffee cup. “Your call, Captain,” he said. She rolled her eyes at him.

With his approval, she let herself be led over to Shaun’s summation. Neil recognized the excitement and curiosity in her eyes pushing past the exhaustion. He’d missed seeing that professional drive every day, her passion for medicine.

As Shaun laid out their patient’s current status and medical history, Neil dug into Sam’s diaper bag for the extra food he knew she kept there. He handed it over to Park who finally relinquished the excited little boy to Morgan for some play time. Park surveyed his options and the extra snacks and decided on some kind of homemade curry and pureed fruit.

Over the next couple of hours, they talked through their problem like old times. In a surprising twist, Park joined the ‘wait and see’ side Shaun had been pushing for while Claire seemed to replace him on the surgical solution bandwagon. After letting Park take Sam for his dinner, Morgan got back in the mix, more relentless than ever. At the end of a particularly lively exchange among the four of them, Park got back on the surgical side, and Claire seemed more accepting of Shaun’s continued insistence on a non-surgical treatment.

After Sam had enjoyed his dinner, Park threw a few couch cushions on the floor along with some toys and split his efforts between playing some kind of tag game with him and arguing with the rest of them as they walked through the patient’s case from the top. Shaun joined him on the floor at one point while Morgan sat at the end of the table pointing out different inconsistencies on Shaun’s lists.

Neil and Claire sat at the other end of the table watching all of it play out.

“Seems like old times, but not,” Neil said.

He remembered many a day and night where the team would be spread out across the room like this hammering out a problem together. Usually, he’d be off tending to some administrative obligation or other patients and leave his residents to their bickering. But he’d join them sometimes and use it as a teaching moment about problem solving. Of course, the late nights that stood out most in his mind were the ones he’d spent with just Claire. He'd often marvel at the sharp way her mind worked, always appreciative of the calm, driving presence she brought to the process.

“I’d say I miss this, but to be honest, Sam and I have plenty of late nights of our own.” They turned their attention to the little boy who seemed content to repeatedly flop himself on the cushion in front of him.

“Well, I would have worn him out tonight. I had some pretty fun stuff planned for us.”

“Oh yeah?” Claire asked, a relaxed smile on her face. “And here I thought you wanted to hang out for a free meal at my place.”

Neil grinned at her, enjoying the spark he saw. Whether it was from talking about Sam or being back in such a familiar element, something seemed extra alive about her in this moment, something he found intriguing.

“I certainly wasn’t going to turn down a free meal.”

She laughed. “So much for nobility.” He continued to gaze at her, enjoying the way her eyes brightened in joy and her nose crinkled showing her utter amusement with him. “What kinds of fun activities did you have planned?”

“I can’t tell you that now,” Neil said, teasing her. He caught her eye once more. “You’re just going to have to invite me over again and see.”

Was he flirting with her? Yes. Yes, he was.

Slightly distracted as she monitored Sammy’s flopping, she half listened to the others still engrossed in their conversation. Intentional or not, Claire seemed to go with his playful tone. “Well, if it’s anything like tonight’s playtime, you might get Sam to bed before the sun goes down. Then we'd have nothing else to entertain us.”

Neil had so many responses to that probably innocent question.

“I don't know, there are worse punishments than being stuck with you for the evening. Turns out I like your company. And who knows what we’d get up to when our benevolent toddler overload hits the sack,” he added, enjoying the way she snapped her attention back to him.

She seemed surprised by his words, though not displeased, thankfully. She took in his expression, the smile pulling at the corners of his mouth, his eyes he knew reflected his amusement and affection, though hopefully not his more passionate thoughts of her. He noticed a slight blush creep into her cheeks, which enraptured him even more.

“Trying to get me alone, huh?” she said, looking away for a moment before meeting his gaze again. “You have another lecture planned?”

He shook his head. “No lecture. I have other plans in mind, though,” he teased.

“And what do I get out of this arrangement? Seems like I might be doing all the work.”

Neil pretended to think about the question for a moment. “Let’s just say that I don’t think you’ll be disappointed,” he offered, pushing his luck a bit.

He slid his chair further into her already close proximity next to him. Her hand rested next to his on the table, casually tapping a pen against her tablet while his gripped his now empty coffee mug. He felt a strong urge to reach the short distance over and trail his fingers along the back of her hand, as much an invitation as a way to satisfy his impulse to be closer to her.

Claire turned her eyes back to him, delight and humor reflecting his own – with an additional alluring hint of mischief.

“Promises, promises,” she replied softly for his ears only.

Wait, was she now flirting with him?

Neil tried to hide his strangled intake of breath at the desire he felt hearing those words from her lips, in that sultry tone he knew he wasn't imagining. Lips he couldn't stop himself from peeking at right now.

His friend Joe had been right – he’d never had a problem romancing a woman before now. He was Neil Melendez, prom king, star athlete, ambitious, superstar surgeon who’d dated his share of powerful and beautiful women. Yet this incredible, tiny marvel of a woman had him coyly pulling her pigtails like a schoolboy.

Neil stared into her lovely face, so many thoughts running through his brain and a list of responses at the tip of his tongue. He licked his lips, moved his chair a hair closer, only a fraction of an inch from her personal space. He opened his mouth to respond, his most charming smile directed right at her.

“Well, you don’t see this kind of scene every day,” Andrews bellowed, barging in from the side door.

Claire and Neil snapped their attention from each other and took in the rest of the room. Rather than focusing on them as Neil had feared, Andrews had paused at seeing Park and Morgan on the floor with Sam. Neil noticed Andrews' slight frown, though Andrews didn’t immediately comment on any particular thing.

Park and Morgan on the other hand were shooting daggers at Andrews, their eyes wavering between him and where Claire and Neil sat. They then shared a look between them, rolling their eyes at the apparent interruption of the 'Browne and Melendez Show.' Even Shaun seemed annoyed by the change in mood. Only Sam remained blissfully unbothered.

“We recruited a few extra opinions for our brainstorming session is all,” Neil offered. He didn’t move away from Claire not wanting to suggest anything amiss between the two of them.

Andrews still seemed puzzled by the lively scene. Marcus always did balk at mixing the personal and professional, so maybe he didn’t care for having their work lounge turn into a bit of a play pen. Nonetheless, Andrews walked over to where Sam sat playing and amused him for a few minutes by waving around one of the toys laying beside the group.

And Andrews ended up sticking around for a while, getting into a spirited back and forth with Claire over the patient’s bloodwork and then offering a few choice suggestions before leaving for the evening. He shook his head as he retreated, a quizzical, lingering view of their motley crew as he departed for the night.

They’d made good headway, Neil had to admit. Shaun agreed to eliminate three of the five treatments on his list as not feasible and had at least entertained the idea that a surgical solution could be as viable as his suggestions. As he listened to Claire list out the facts as she knew them and why surgery could be the best case scenario, Shaun bounced Sammy on his lap, the baby now a little tired from all the earlier play.

Then an epiphany struck as Claire read through two studies she’d come across to support her hypothesis. After absorbing Claire’s proposal, Shaun abruptly stood up and began scribbling again on the white board. They all grinned at how he’d kept Sam at his hip, quite content to watch his Uncle Shaun scribble away. Park and Morgan exchanged knowing smirks, waiting for their colleague to come around to their perspective.

“Murphy, something you want to share with the class,” Neil inquired as he stood at the resident’s shoulder.

“Not yet,” Shaun replied and returned to his scribbling.

But Sam, having heard Neil’s voice, began to whine and reach for his favorite uncle. Of course, Neil happily extracted him from Shaun’s arms, which allowed the young doctor to scrawl even more rapidly on the white board. Sam immediately snuggled into Neil’s neck, a sure sign that all the excitement had worn him out. Smiling down at the boy, he gently rubbed his back, but then frowned knowing that Claire would need to get him home and to bed soon. 

Claire glanced over at him, taking in Sammy’s alert but subdued snuggling with Neil and seemed to come to the same conclusion. However, she became distracted by something Shaun had just listed out.

“Wait, Shaun, what if we did both? The combined treatment you just listed could be not just pre-operative but sustained throughout surgery as you go in and repair the patient’s heart. If you go slow, you should be able to trick the body into thinking she’s stable. But post-op, you switch to the first solution you proposed, which should gently reinitialize the vascular integrity around the heart. You monitor her closely, make adjustments as her numbers fluctuate and then in 12 to 16 hours, you should be in the clear, or at least stable enough to try one of your other solutions.

“If anything happens, we’d need to do a blood transfusion as soon as her numbers dropped to the low range,” Park added. “Otherwise, it’ll be a cascading reaction and we’ll lose her on the table.” He made quick notes on his tablet.

Shaun made a mark on the white board as well. “We could prep an additional transfusion port just in case.”

“I don’t know if she’ll agree to this, though.” Morgan offered. “She was adamant about not putting her life on hold to linger on a transplant list. Even if we succeed, she’ll still need a new heart within ten years. And it’ll require a complete change to her lifestyle, maybe even quitting her job. I think it’s the right call, but I don’t know if she’ll compromise on that.”

Neil did the calculations in his head. He asked each of the residents, including Claire, questions about how it would work. Every contingency. Every potential outcome. 

It was risky and a bold solution. And it was the best option they had that didn’t involve certain death within the next few days or dying on the operating table. Using Sam as an excuse to pace and rock the now clearly sleepy baby in his arms, he looked over Shaun’s numbers and checked the patient’s charts and scans twice more.

“I’ll talk to Lim and then I’ll talk to the patient,” Neil said, finally. “If we don’t do this, she’ll die within the week. This gives her a chance.” He hitched Sam up a little higher on his shoulder, the boy now asleep and breathing soft baby breaths into his neck. “In the meantime, Park, I want another round of bloodwork just in case. Morgan, check with scheduling about putting together a team for tomorrow morning. Murphy, start on the surgical protocols, outlining what we’ve just gone over.”

Shaun raised a tentative hand, recapping and then fidgeting with his marker. “Can I go get an apple first. I’m very hungry and it’ll help me organize my thoughts.”

Grinning, Neil nodded. “Grab dinner if you need it. All of you,” he added sweeping his eyes to the other residents as they gathered their notes. “And excellent job. I know it’s been a long day, but you all came together to find a solution; a better solution than any of us could have hoped for. You should be proud of your work.” Morgan beamed at the compliment while Park smirked next to her. Even Shaun seemed to stand a little straighter for the praise.

Walking out, Morgan passed his shoulder to brush a soft hand against Sammy’s head as she headed out. “Nice save, Browne,” she quipped as she strolled out the door. She caught his eye and gestured him toward Claire before marching down the hall to scheduling.

“Yeah, thanks,” Park reiterated, giving Claire’s shoulder a squeeze as he followed. With her back to him as she checked on a sleeping Sam in Neil’s arms, Park pointed to Neil and then Claire with a stern expression before following after Morgan. Shaun waved and hurried out, though his gaze lingered for a moment on the two of them before splitting off in the opposite direction toward the cafe. 

That left Neil and Claire standing alone in the lounge. Neil noticed Claire looking both invigorated and melancholy. Personally, he felt the satisfaction of a problem solved along with the enjoyable feeling of Sammy asleep against him.

Claire stared at the retreating forms of her colleagues for a moment and then shook her head. Glancing at Neil and Sam, she began collecting her things and strapping on the sling to carry Sam to the car. With a well-practiced choreography, Neil placed the sleeping baby in the contraption and adjusted her straps as he’d done hundreds of times in the past months. When Sam lay comfortably against Claire’s heart, Neil remained close, reluctant to let him go. Both of them, really.

“Thanks again for this,” Neil said. “I know it disrupted your evening. And I hope it doesn’t mess up your schedule.”

Claire glanced up, pulling her eyes away from her little brother in her arms. “I didn’t mind. I like spending time with you. All of you, I mean,” she added, stammering a bit. Neil appreciated not being the only one flustered by the emotions blossoming between them tonight. “I’m really grateful for how much all of you accept Sam.”

“What’s not to love about this little guy,” Neil chuckled. He considered flirting with her a little more; felt an intense pleasure at the thought of making her blush again. Instead, without even thinking twice, he stepped in closer to lean down and kiss Sam at the crown of his head.

Claire didn’t appear phased by his proximity – or rather the clear presence of his face at her cleavage – as she stared down at Sammy with the same glowing love.

“I know what you mean,” she said, still smiling down at Sam.”

Before he could stop himself, Neil leaned down again and brushed his lips against the back of her hand that now rested against Sam’s head, fingertips at the edge of where he’d just kissed the warm softness at Sam’s brow.

“His sister’s not half bad either,” Neil murmured, looking into her eyes. He registered the mild surprise of his move, and then a gentle smile that melted into something unreadable to him.

When he straightened, he remained close, his hands slowly triple checking the holds securing the little boy to her. As she noticed his attention on her, the intensity in her expression drew him in. He held her gaze, allowing a grin to spread at his lips, stalling as he waited to pull back. They both seemed reluctant to leave this cocoon of affection they’d created with Sammy between them.

It should scare him how much he could get used to this. He’s more determined than ever to make it so.

The sound of Neil’s phone being paged broke their spell. Sam’s eyes fluttered at the sound, but remained closed. Neil read through the request and stored the phone again in his pocket.

“I know you have to go,” Claire said, allowing him to step back and deposit her multiple bags onto her shoulder. “Good luck with the surgery. Let me know how it goes.”

“Of course,” he promised, the vow sounding breathless and tense to his own ears. “I’ll call you tomorrow with an update. Maybe I can get a raincheck for tonight?” He tried not to sound too eager – and failed.

Claire smiled. “Sure. And are we still on for Saturday? Sammy is going to love the street fair, I can already predict it. All the colors and balloons and music. It’s right in his element.”

“Yeah, a real party animal,” Neil added, laughing. “I wouldn’t miss it.” He guided her to the door. “I’m going to go check in with Lim, but I can walk you out.”

“Well, you can walk me to the elevator at least.”

Their strides took on a lazy quality as they strolled side by side down the quiet hallway. Neil excused his pace and the lingering as not wanting to wake up the baby, but they both knew better. At least for him, it was getting harder to leave her company these days. Calling the elevator for her, he stroked Sammy’s head again and then briefly squeezed Claire’s arm.

“I meant what I said. It was excellent work – from all of us. And we couldn’t have done it without you.”

“I don’t know—”

“We were better for having you there.” He wouldn’t stand for her downplaying her skills or what she meant to her colleagues. “Know that you’re missed.”

Just then the elevator doors opened and he ushered them inside. He stood with his hands in his pockets as the doors closed, smiling proudly at her, and was satisfied to see her match his sentiment.

Maybe the evening hadn’t been a total wash after all.

_TBC..._


	14. Chapter 14

Claire yawned dramatically, almost toppling over the pile of articles and journals on her bedside table as she went to cover her mouth. She straightened the stack and then put her computer on top so she could clear her bed and remove the sheets. Once she got those in the washer, she’d remake her bed, straighten up the kitchen, and maybe get a head start on prepping Sam’s things for the week.

Stifling another yawn, she felt pretty good about how much she’d managed to get done around the apartment this morning. As always, her ambitious agenda depended on how much Sammy was willing to cooperate, and he’d been a little trooper.

The plan had been an outing to a street fair with Neil where Sammy could enjoy a fun day with a bunch of exciting sights and sounds. But they’d woken up to a gloomy morning with scattered thunderstorms predicted for much of the day. The street fair had gotten postponed and forced a change of plans, namely a string of energy-sapping games in Claire’s living room.

Neil had also been a trooper and came over to keep them company anyway. He’d been there for all of their stay-at-home adventures that so far involved a few colored balls, three stuffed animals, a paint set, and a lot of practice crawling and standing for all three of them. Claire had given Neil plenty of opportunities to bow out, though she knew by now that he loved any excuse to hang out with his best buddy. He teased her with his usual laundry list of excuses to justify his continued presence. Except now his side comments spoke to newly intriguing ulterior motives.

Still, an hour past lunchtime and they both felt ready to pass out.

With Sam transitioning from two naps a day to one, his sleep schedule had turned erratic and he’d kept her up half the night for three nights in a row. And Neil hadn’t recovered from a crazy couple of weeks that forced him to cancel more than a few evenings’ plans with them. That included the previous night – a raincheck of a raincheck when a surgery she’d helped brainstorm on ran into complications and required another procedure at the same time he’d been planning to drop by. They hadn't even had a chance to talk through all the complicated feelings she'd experienced from working with him and their old team again, the thrill of it and the lingering pain she felt at forfeiting that part of her life. She knew Neil was also grumpy about the lost quality time, and she’d been quite agitated about it too the last couple of nights.

Now that she’d become reasonably sure of Neil’s interest in her, their inability to get on the same page seemed excruciating.

Morgan and Park had been teasing her about Neil for months and Shaun steadily found excuses to bring him up. She’d endured questions and assumptions from friends and strangers alike. Always her answers were the same to convince people that nothing was going on between them:

‘Neil really wants to be a dad and loves taking care of Sam.’

‘He’s just being a good friend.

‘He and Sam are so attached to each other and I’m just the third wheel.’

Even when Neil did seem in a more playful mood with her, she chalked it up to him acting like that with everyone. Being a charmer was in his nature. But the other night she couldn’t explain away his clear flirtations – or the intentions behind them.

Claire grinned to herself as she tidied up thinking about the shift in her feelings for Neil. It’s not that her emotions were new to her – she’d been fighting her own attraction to him for months. It’s that she finally let down her guard and allowed herself to truly consider the possibilities.

When she first realized his attention on her had taken a turn, she’d been shocked. For so long, she’d told herself, and anyone who’d listen, that Neil couldn’t possibly be interested in her in any romantic way. He probably had beautiful women lined up to go out with him. She knew he wanted a family of his own, and she saw herself as a placeholder until he found the right woman to settle down with. Not that he’d ever turn his back on Sam.

As her brother got older, though, she could see Neil and Sam spending more and more time just the two of them, going to baseball games and hanging out. They’d want their own time together without her close by.

Yet deep down she knew that it wasn’t all for Sam.

Sam didn’t drive him to sometimes linger for a beer or cup of tea after putting him to bed. When Neil joined her for a run, trading off pushing Sam in the jogging stroller, it wasn’t to get in quality time with her little brother. In fact, he seemed glad to slip into an easy, uninterrupted conversation with her, often for long stretches if they’d managed to lull the little boy to sleep.

And the other day, he’d definitely been flirting with her – not for the first time either.

She’d tested the waters by teasing him back with a light quip of her own. Her heart gave no resistance when Neil unequivocally took the bait.

He’d made it pretty clear that he wouldn’t mind spending time alone with her and had ideas about what they could get up to under such a circumstance. Once Claire accepted his attention, she’d started thinking about a few ideas of how to play along. She could feel a new type of tension between them, and she found herself longing to give into it.

This cast a lot of things in a new light: the text messages they’d exchange long into the evening, the lunches they’d share to talk about work or life, and of course, his irritated reaction to the guy at the café hitting on her a few weeks ago – who Morgan was apparently dating now.

Thinking back on it now, it seemed a silly kind of denial. Neil hadn’t talked about dating anyone in months. And she knew exactly how he spent his time, either at the hospital or on his regular visits with Gabbi. Maybe he’d occasionally meet up with old college friends or spend a few hours having a drink with Lim. Other than that, most of his free time revolved around her and Sam.

Except now they needed to actually find some time together to figure it all out. Last night hadn’t worked out and today was turning into a missed opportunity as well, though not a complete waste, hopefully. Claire quietly walked down the hallway to check in on him and Sam.

She grinned at what she saw a few feet away. No, not a complete let-down at all.

Neil smiled down at Sam who wiggled in his arms as they swayed to the low music. Usually, the motion and sound were soothing to Sam, but the little guy still refused to shut his eyes for more than a few seconds at a time. There was no questioning Sam’s exhaustion – his cheeks had taken on a ruddy blush with one little fist rubbing into his face as he always did when he fought a nap. He clearly had something on his mind, which made Neil chuckle and Claire too from where she looked on.

“Still?” Claire murmured from a few feet away.

She’d moved quickly over to the kitchen, rehanging a dish towel she’d left out when she finished cleaning up their lunch. Sam had been particularly lively, so not only did the high chair practically get hosed down, but the remnants of his meal featured prominently on Claire’s t-shirt. She tried to creep quietly back to where the two stood.

“He’s fighting it. As usual,” the last said glancing up at her from the warm, fidgety body in his arms. Sam frowned as if understanding they were making fun of him and not liking it one bit

Noting Sam's look of disapproval, Claire smiled, stopping a few steps away so as not to disturb them. “He’s going to have to learn to get over his baby FOMO. I wish I could convince him that nothing interesting is going to happen while he’s asleep. Unless crashing on the couch in exhaustion has suddenly become amusing to him.”

“I’m sure he’d at least find some satisfaction in that,” Neil assured her. “You know what I think?” he said.

Claire laughed softly. “I’m afraid to ask.” She leaned against the entrance to the kitchen, keeping her distance.”

Neil looked up, a playful humor in his expression. “I think he’s being a very protective little brother and doesn’t trust me alone with his big sister.” He looked down at the baby. “Is that right, Sammy? Are you questioning my intentions with your C.C.?”

Sammy continued to frown, now craning his head around. They thought they were being quiet, especially with the music playing, but the mention of Neil’s name for Claire and hearing her voice meant Sam now wanted her attention. As he began to make a few mewling grunts of protest, Neil rubbed his back to soothe him.

“Hmm, maybe you’re right,” Claire said, ignoring the flutter in her chest at Neil’s casual acknowledgment of his attraction to her. “Anything he should be particularly concerned about in terms of protecting my honor?”

Neil diverted his attention to her as he tried to wrangle the squirming little boy. “I don’t know what you mean. Sammy should trust that I’m a perfect gentleman. But if it turns out that his sister has less than honorable intentions toward me, then I’ll have no choice but to retaliate.”

Claire scoffed in amusement, shock, and a fair bit of anticipation at his boldness. The sound drew Sam’s attention to her again as he looked around to find her.

“Now you’ve done it,” Neil joked. “You know he’s laser-focused on you and won’t settle down until you give him some attention.”

“Sounds like someone else I know,” Claire challenged, shaking her head. Neil glanced up and winked at her. “I’m sure I’ll miss this phase when it’s over, but at times like these …” she trailed off. Neil caught her indecision, considering whether it was better to go to Sam or fade back to let Neil get him the rest of the way to his nap. “Do you want me to take him,” she asked.

Neil seemed unsure about what she actually wanted the answer to be. On the one hand, Sam really was very close to nodding off, and she’d been getting a lot done while Neil took over nap duties. On the other hand, her instincts to cuddle with Sammy were right on the surface.

“You can take him if you want,” he responded diplomatically. “But I don’t mind fighting with him a bit longer. He’s almost there.” Claire nodded and smiled, a tired glance of appreciation sent his way for saving her from herself. “You can help, though, by not getting him all riled up right when I have him settled.”

She opened her mouth to respond, until she saw his mock glare, and she held her hands up in apology. She’d have to make the point later that maybe he shouldn’t get _her_ all riled up by flirting with her at inappropriate moments in Sam’s nap schedule.

Backing away, she retreated to the bedroom believing she had just enough time to change the bedding in Sam’s crib before Neil needed to transfer him there. When she finished that, she grabbed the discarded sheets from both her bed and the crib and carried them to the laundry area, side-stepping Neil and Sam as she passed them.

A few minutes later, Sammy seemed to calm down again. From the kitchen, Claire heard Neil humming along with the music to lull him further, but that hadn’t gone over well. Sammy had started whimpering and Neil chuckled before switching to soothing conversation over song. When Claire poked her head out, she saw him continuing to sway with Sam, which resulted in less fidgeting and a few more droopy-eyed stretches.

She suspected that Neil wouldn’t mind if it took a bit longer to settle Sam so he’d have the excuse to continue cradling the little guy. He took his role as guardian seriously.

After about ten minutes of puttering around, Claire emerged from the bedroom, keeping her distance so she could watch the two boys from afar. Neil had a small smile on his face as he rubbed Sammy’s back and snuggled into his soft curls like a doting papa bear. He’d kept up a rhythm with the music, smoothly rocking her brother back and forth. Spotting Sammy’s favorite blanket draped across the couch, she crept into the living room, keeping out of sight of the little boy, and grabbed it so she could move it to his crib. Although she’d been careful not to alert Sammy to her presence, he seemed to sense her anyway and began to fuss, raising his head as if looking for her. Neil again scowled in her direction.

“He can smell you, you know,” Neil whispered.

“Not from all the way over here?” Claire said defending herself. Neil shot her an ‘oh yeah?’ look and shook his head. Sam rubbed his face into Neil’s chest and whined, clearly not getting all the things he felt he needed to put them both out of their nap-related misery. Claire stepped in front of Neil, still out of sight of Sammy. “I can take him.”

She put her arms out for him to hand over the now cranky baby, but Neil held onto him even tighter.

“No, I’ve got him,” Neil insisted.

His possessiveness drew a raised eyebrow from Claire. She couldn’t tell if he was trying to prove a point or if he just wanted a little more time with the boy. Either reasoning seemed rather sweet to her.

Maybe it was the acceptance of these new feelings she had for him or her exhaustion, but this sense of devotion from Neil was enough to nearly overwhelm her with affection for him.

Instead of backing away, Claire stepped forward and leaned into them, putting her face close to Sammy’s and her hand underneath Neil’s at the baby’s back.

“Is someone being cranky for their Uncle Neil?” she tutted, a melody to her voice filled with love and contentment. Sammy immediately turned toward her voice and gurgled happily reaching for her cheek with his drool-covered fist. Claire kissed it without missing a beat and then kissed his forehead before running her fingers against his soft curls. Like Neil, she began humming and then singing along with the music, very softly but surely. Sammy smiled and closed his eyes as he flexed his fingers against Neil’s chest, enjoying the gentle breeze of Claire’s breath as she sang to him.

Neil ginned at her over Sam’s shoulder. From his expression, she guessed he didn’t have it in him to chastise her. Seeing the two of them react to each other tended to be a weak point for him. And he called _her_ a soft touch.

She felt Neil respond to her hand’s gentle pressure against his forearm as she took him into a loose embrace with the baby between them. Joining his swaying motion, she lay her head at his shoulder so she could look into Sammy’s face as they moved together. She kept a loose grip along Neil’s back, feeling his strong muscles securely supporting the boy in his arms as they danced. Every time Sammy would open his sleepy eyes to confirm his sister was still there, she would smile at him and rub a thumb against his brow before returning it to Neil’s arm. Within minutes, those drowsy peeks slowed and then stopped as Sammy slipped into a light slumber.

Neil also leaned into her close proximity. She kept up her crooning, channeling the soulful love song playing around them that celebrated the sanctity of lovers and the satisfaction of devotion. Every now and again, she’d catch him fixating on the movement of her lips as she sang her little brother to sleep. Like their mother, Sammy loved music, and Claire couldn’t be resentful about the innocent joy in that connection to Breeze Browne.

And in these moments, the peace she felt, the wholeness, the longing for this contentment to remain, it hit her all at once. She didn’t miss a beat for wanting to savor every second of it.

Claire committed to memory the strength she felt in Neil’s arms as he carefully cradled this tiny human they both loved. She could feel the heat of him, recognize the scent of him so familiar from years standing side by side in the OR. She could sense his eyes on her while they danced a loose circle in her living room. As the three of them rested their tired bodies against each other, she imagined Neil holding her too, wrapping her and Sam in safety and comfort as he anchored the three of them to this spot. This unlikely union created by grief and friendship now had somewhere new to go, somewhere exciting.

They stayed liked that for many moments, using Sam as an excuse to sustain this feeling on which they’d stumbled so naturally. Claire’s melody returned to a hum and then a murmur as she finally stepped back to cover Sam in his blanket. She dared a glance up at Neil, wondering if another casual flirtation waited her attention. But she found him staring at Sammy in wonder and so much love. It should have terrified the part of her that had such rotten luck with making attachments to people. But what prevailed was her trust in this friend who’d supported her through thick and thin just as he’d promised he would. No matter where their relationship went from here, she trusted in that.

She could feel herself slowly accepting that what they had right now made them like family. It no longer felt like something she and Neil were too scared to name.

Claire squeezed Neil's arm to get his attention and when he turned to her, she gestured toward the bedroom where he could lay Sam down for his usual afternoon nap. “I need to put new sheets on his bed really quick – give me a few minutes and you can bring him in there,” she whispered. Soon she’d move Sam to the spare room – the room that used to be hers when they’d first moved in but had mostly stayed empty after she’d finally cleaned out her mother’s things. With Sam getting older, it made sense for the both of them to start practicing some independence from each other.

Neil nodded. “That’s fine. He’s feeling a little warm so I think I’ll get him out of these socks and pants and leave him in the onesie.” He moved toward the couch to sit and anchor himself so as not to wake Sam.

She quickly made up the bed and returned Sam’s favorite stuffed animal and pillow to where he liked them. She turned on the corner light to help Neil see in that part of the room when he put Sammy down.

After adjusting the angle on the monitor camera, she wondered what was taking Neil so long. Hearing no sound from the living room, she retraced her steps. She chuckled at what she saw.

Neil had indeed gotten Sammy out of his socks and pants. But in the process of killing time, he’d managed to put them both down for a nap. Neil lay reclined into the couch, one leg up on the ottoman and holding Sam securely to his chest. His head had slipped to the side as she heard his shallow breaths match the tiny sounds of slumber at his shoulder. The discarded items of clothing lay sprawled next to him. Sam seemed quite comfortable indeed.

Shaking her head, Claire draped Sam’s blanket back over him, running her fingers along his cheek to see that he’d returned to a comfortable temperature. She paused and then brought her fingers to Neil’s cheek as well to see if he needed a blanket too. He leaned into the caress, sighing but otherwise didn't stir.

Claire couldn’t tear her eyes away.

Finally satisfied that they were both resting comfortably, she crept to the other side of the couch and curled up watching them sleep and wondering how she’d gotten so lucky. Before long, she felt herself drift off, succumbing to her own exhaustion.

The next thing she registered was a warm, soft weight across her and a gentle brush of contact against her brow. She stirred, feeling a blanket draped against her, and looked to her right to see Neil kneeling at her side.

“How long have I been out? Is Sam awake?” She moved to sit up but Neil pushed her shoulder back down.

“He’s still out. I put him in the crib.” She looked over to the side table and saw he’d planted the monitor right behind her head so she’d be able to hear any activity. “Stemler had a family emergency, and I’m next on the coverage list so I need to go in.”

Claire frowned. “Not fair,” she whined. “We were supposed to spend today talking about your undignified intentions toward me.” She slowly blinked her eyes open, still groggy.

Neil chuckled. She felt him tuck a stray strand of hair behind her ear. “I don’t think Lim would appreciate me begging off so I can sweet-talk you into going steady.”

That got a sleepy smile out of her. “Going steady, huh? Such a sappy romantic. I’ll cure you of that.”

“Not likely,” Neil said, his insistence offset by a matching affection. He stroked her cheek, and she turned her heard further toward him. “I’ll call you later?”

Claire nodded. “Okay. Get your intentions in order until then.” She closed her eyes again, still so drowsy and tired.

“Don’t you worry about that. I’m ready.” He paused. “I’ve been ready for a while. But we’ll talk about that later. Get some rest.” She again felt the same pressure at her brow; realized it’s the feel of Neil’s lips softly brushing a kiss there. She smiled and reached up blindly to cradle his cheek in her hand. Surprising her, Neil kissed her palm. 

For a few minutes, he remained next to her. She could feel him watching her as she relaxed back to sleep. As she drifted off, she fell into pleasant dreams of Neil’s strong arms around her as they danced and danced under the stars.

_TBC..._


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, happy to get this out. The next chapter will be up shortly too -- tonight if I have time or tomorrow otherwise. It's gonna be a crazy week here in the U.S. so I'm all about the warm fuzzies at all times. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy the update, and thank you for continuing to read this story.

Neil stripped off his surgical gear and moved over to the sink to wash his hands. The nurses scurried around him, taking care of their own duties and prepping the area for the next patient. He loved experiencing this kind of rhythm to the O.R., the familiar, steady pulse of the hospital routine.

He zoned out a bit as he went through the motions, thinking about how the rest of his day would unfold. A smile lit his face at the possibilities.

When he’d been called into the hospital yesterday afternoon, he’d been incredibly annoyed. He’d pledged to spend the day with Claire and Sam since he’d barely seen them in weeks. Even with the rains ruining all their fun outdoor plans, they’d adjusted and were in the middle of a pleasant and leisurely time. He and Claire had made the most of it despite being on the tired side.

And there was the business of a long overdue conversation with Claire about … whatever this new thing was that had sparked between them. Now that he’d openly admitted to wanting more with her, he’d been shocked at how readily she appeared to agree, as eager as he to do some exploring of this new something.

Except random things kept getting in the way as usual. He’d been stuck at the hospital until late in the evening. It'd been too late to return to Claire’s, and certainly hadn't been at his peak for having an emotional conversation that could change the course of his life. Besides, he’d had to come in early this morning to perform a procedure on a patient who he'd seen the night before. After that, he’d be sprung for the rest of the day. Claire had already texted about meeting her at the park after lunchtime to go for a run with her and Sam.

Checking the clock, he had plenty of time to handle his other business and meet her on time. And then they could begin the process of working things out between them.

His thoughts drifted back to the previous afternoon when he’d been trying to lull Sammy into a nap, playing soft soothing music and rocking him to sleep. He’d teased Claire about sabotaging him and then tried his hand at a little more flirting to which Claire hadn’t missed a beat in reciprocating. Hearing her be so comfortably playful with him put a grin on his face every time.

Once he’d gotten Sammy calmed down and almost sleep, she’d interrupted again and riled the little boy up. His world was his big sister and the two of them were so in tune with each other. He loved watching them together, in awe of the way the world would often shrink to the two of them and whatever fun they’d created together. To his pleasure, instead of backing away, Claire joined their side as he rocked and danced with Sam to the music. She took them in her arms and swayed with them, her close presence soothing both of them. She hummed and then softly sang to her little brother, her eyes glued to Sam’s drowsy gaze. Just as she focused all her attention on the baby, Neil focused his down at her, watching the wave of her lashes flickering as she took Sammy in; her hair tickled against his neck; her petite frame pressed against his side as they danced.

Neil hadn’t felt that content in so long.

He hadn’t meant to fall asleep on her, though. When he'd woken up and saw her curled up next to them also fast asleep, he didn’t feel too bad about it. He’d actually woken up on his own, holding Sam in his arms and then carefully placing the sleeping little boy in his crib. Returning to the living room, he wished he and Claire had been able to talk things out – that’s what they’d both wanted to do today. But their exhaustion had other ideas. He could have woken her up, but she needed the rest.

Kneeling down to watch her sleep, he considered slipping over next to her on the couch for a shared nap. She looked so calm, untroubled about the many responsibilities he knew she carried. He hoped that taking their relationship a step further would help her share that burden with him so she didn’t keep so much on herself.

That’s when his phone had buzzed with the message for him to fill in for Stemler. He leaned over and kissed her softly on the forehead. Although he hated to wake her, he didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye. Her teasing parting shots had made that worth it. He’d almost buckled when she’d reached up for him, but he hoped that the kiss he allowed himself to give her along her palm showed that he’d rather be spending his time with her. 

After he’d left, he was feeling so giddy that he’d even texted his friend Joe with an enthusiastic: _‘So me and Claire … it’s happening.’_

Joe had texted back an all-caps _‘FINALLY’_ with a stream of emojis from the eye-roll to heart eyes to fireworks.

Thinking about seeing Claire and Sam later made him start washing his hands faster. He wanted to be done with his business at the hospital and back to the more pleasurable parts of his life.

Now switching to rinsing his heavily lathered hands, he heard the door open behind him and Andrews come in. Marcus popped his head into the surgical bay to check in with the new personnel who must be prepping for one of his surgeries. He made some notes on his tablet and wandered over to the sink where Neil was shaking off the excess water from his now clean hands.

“Hey, I heard you got called in. Not exactly the best way to spend the weekend after everything going on last week,” he said, still scrolling through something on his screen.

“No kidding. At least I’m on my way out. What are you doing here on a Sunday anyway?”

Andrews sighed. “Had to reschedule an old patient to today. And then I figured I may as well get a bunch of other stuff done while I’m here. Isabelle is visiting her family this weekend so not much else is going on.

“Oh yeah, I heard,” Neil said.

Claire had mentioned it to him since Isabelle would often watch Sam for her on evenings or weekends if something last minute came up. They’d kept in touch regularly and become closer since Isabelle had reached out in those first days after her mother’s accident. Claire described Isabelle as the fun but stern older sister type. They were coordinating a good day for her to watch Sam while Claire got a haircut and had eliminated this weekend because of Isabelle’s trip and their own plans to take Sam to the street fair.

Andrews paused and looked up at Neil, questioning. “Oh right. Claire would have told you.” Neil wasn’t quite sure what to make of Marcus's tone. He'd been really hard to read lately. “So, anything to report there?”

Neil narrowed his eyes at Marcus as he dried his hands. “Report? Like what?” Andrews was fishing, but Neil wouldn’t let himself get reeled into whatever game he was playing. And he’d grown kind of tired of his colleagues being so deeply in his personal business when it came to Claire.

“About the Chapman Fellowship, of course.” Andrews said. He returned his eyes to his tablet, trying and failing to hide a smirk.

Rolling his eyes, Neil crossed his arms defensively. “I’ve already gotten in enough trouble with her for pushing that. I have no desire to get on her bad side again.”

“Well, if not you then who?” Andrews shook his head. “I heard about the long-list of finalists when I had lunch with Davidson yesterday. Let’s just say I’m not impressed.”

Neil frowned. He’d been afraid of this scenario. But he’d said his piece to Claire, and he didn’t want it to be an issue in their already fragile interactions with each other lately, even if he still felt strongly about her applying.

“Maybe _you_ should tell her then,” Neil suggested.

Andrews nodded. “I should.” He clipped his stylus to the tablet and turned his attention fully to Neil. “I did a surgery with her earlier this week. It was one of the most frustrating things I’ve experienced since I started back here as an attending.”

This surprised Neil. He’d never heard of Claire giving anything less than her best, especially with the former Chief of Surgery and president of the hospital.

“It doesn’t sound like Claire to be sloppy in the O.R.”

“It’s not that,” Andrews said, shaking his head. “It’s that she’s not tapping into her full potential. She’s an excellent resident, an excellent surgeon and a future star maybe. She’d be a shoe-in for the Chapman. But we’ve got her spending most of her time on routine appendectomies and basic procedures when she’s capable of so much more.”

“Hey, you’re not going to hear an argument from me about how good she is. Believe me I know. But she’s got other priorities that are important to her now.”

“I know, I know,” Andrews said, holding up a hand to fend off Neil’s annoyance. “I totally get it and I know it’s not on her. I just wish there was more we could do for her, even if it’s just having her work with us regularly so she'd get more exposure to better surgeries. She’s not going to get what she needs with Barnes. He’s good but he’s not a star, and he knows there’s only so much he can do for her. I felt the same way the other day when she was hanging out to help you and your team again. Even arguing with her you can tell how she just has a knack for the kind of thinking that makes her such a competitive resident here.”

“I agree. But there's not much either of us can do to fix the situation. And don’t go mentioning this to her either. She’s been through enough trying to live with this compromise so she can be a good guardian for Sam. Even encouraging her about the Chapman I know brought up it all up again. She’s had to push aside a lot of regrets and feelings to accept her new situation as a resident, and I’m not trying to make her feel even worse about that."

Andrews looked over to the nurse’s station to see their thumbs up on completing the preparation for his next patient. He stowed his tablet on the behind him and started to scrub in.

“I’m not going to say anything to her, although Isabelle I’m sure is tired of hearing about it. I'm just venting.” Neil found that to be interesting, that the situation so annoyed Andrews that he’d go complaining about it to his wife, possibly to enlist her in needling Claire about the Chapman. No wonder Claire was so irritated about all the busybodies. “Are you done for the day? I didn’t see your name on the schedule after me.”

Neil checked the time again. He needed to get a move on if he was going to stay punctual with all his plans. “Yeah, I just had the one overflow surgery from yesterday and I’m done. I’m going to go visit my sister and then meet Claire and Sam at the park.”

“That sounds nice. It’ll be a good day for it. The first warm day of the season actually.” He grinned. “And maybe you’ll finally have something else to report about you and Browne soon enough based on what I saw with the two of you the other day.”

Rolling his eyes, Neil’s reaction wavered between annoyance and amusement at another person with opinions about his love life.

“Not you too.”

“We can’t all be wrong if it’s that many of us mentioning it. Y’all are starting to look like damn fools for holding out like this.

“Good to hear.” Neil’s sarcastic reply signaled just the right time to get out of there. He didn't want to delve further into discussing this with Marcus. “And if I can find a way to bring up the Chapman in a way that won’t annoy her, I’ll mention it again to Claire. No promises though.”

“Fair enough. See ya.”

Neil said his goodbyes to Andrews and the nurses in the room and left. He quickly changed back into his suit and grabbed his bag from his office to head out. Not even a few steps from his door, he noticed Audrey approaching him from the opposite direction.

“No way. I’m leaving and I will not get roped into whatever situation has arisen on this lovely Sunday. I have sacrificed enough.”

Audrey laughed. “Don’t worry, I have no intention of keeping you here. I was hoping to catch you so I could tell you that I can make tomorrow’s committee meeting after all so you don’t have to go.”

“Well, that _is_ good news. For me at least,” he said, smirking over at her as she joined him on his exit path.

“Thanks for coming in yesterday. The surgery schedule hasn’t been that busy on a weekend for a while. I’m glad we had a full team on hand on such short notice. Stemler owes you a drink, that’s for sure.”

Neil laughed. “He definitely does. Although I heard his family emergency involved a five-hour drive to help his mother with a flooded basement. I don’t envy that.”

“I bet,” Audrey said, amused. She knew all about Neil’s often exasperated relationship with his parents, his mother especially. Although they didn’t live quite that far, their retirement home kept them far enough away that he couldn’t just drop by unannounced. “When’s the last time you spent the afternoon with your mother anyway?”

It was a good question. “Maybe a month ago? She came down to visit Gabbi so I joined her and my dad for that. I didn’t see them for Christmas this year, although my mom did send a beautiful blanket she made for Sam. She’d been working on it ever since I told her about what happened with Claire.”

“That’s nice. Has she met Claire?” Audrey asked, a curious tone to the question.

“No. That’d be weird.”

“Why? Sam’s basically your god-son, and with the way things are going with you and Claire … what exactly _is_ going on by the way,” she asked, a sly glint in her eye as she probed.

“Nothing,” Neil said, although he couldn’t suppress the grin on his face thinking about the possibilities. And it’s not like he was lying. Officially, they hadn’t talked yet so nothing had been decided about the direction of their relationship.

“Oh, Neil, do you really think that lame denial is going to work with me? I’ve known you way too long.” She stared at Neil, silently prodding.

“We’re … working on it,” he finally admitted.

Audrey, smiled at him, satisfied. “Well, get on with it. This is starting to get embarrassing … for you.”

“Hey, I am being a gentleman.”

“There’s being a gentleman, I guess, and being a slow poke. You are sinking quickly into the latter territory.”

“Fine! We may have started down that road just a little bit.” Audrey looked over, surprised. “We just need to talk about it.”

“Talk faster,” she said, teasing. They’d reached the juncture where Neil would head out to the side-exit closest to the parking lot and she’d go the other direction to return to her office. “What’s the plan for the rest of your day?

“I’m actually going to visit Gabbi for a while.”

Audrey smiled. “That’ll be fun. And now maybe you can sit outside. Gabbi would love that.”

Neil grinned at her. While Audrey hadn’t had a chance to spend too much time with his sister when they dated because of her busy schedule, Neil had spent a lot of time talking about his sister to her. And Audrey had always been a good listener and seemed to genuinely enjoy his stories and regretted not spending more time with them.

“I think you’re right. We’ll see. I’m supposed to be meeting Claire and Sam at the park later and the forecast looks good for that, especially after all that rain yesterday.”

“The forecast also looks good for a long, meaningful talk,” Audrey said, turning to go. “I want to hear all about it later. And if you don’t straighten things out between the two of you, for god’s sake at least give her a nudge about the Chapman. The finalist long-list, well …” She paused, no doubt searching for a diplomatic way to convey her thoughts while still being an impartial chief of surgery. “Let’s just say the long-list could be more robust.”

“Noted,” Neil said frowning. “I’ll let you know.” He shook his head at his nosy colleagues and got in his car to move on to more pleasant parts of his day.

When he arrived at the residential home where Gabbi lived, he took a deep breath to get his emotions under control before his visit. The facility was great, one of the best in the state. He foot the bill for it and insisted on the highest care for his sister. Part of it was guilt, of course, but mostly it’s wanting the best for the person he loved most in the entire world.

Still, a part of him wished he could do more. Maybe one day it would make sense to move Gabbi into his home, but he knew he didn’t have a lifestyle where that would be good for her. Here, she had friends and activities and a whole life that revolved around learning and having fun and always having someone close by to address her needs. He couldn’t give her that on his own, no matter how much he wanted to.

So, he made her as big a part of his life as he could. He came to see her at least once a week so Gabbi would know him as a regular part of her life. And he vowed to always stay close to her and it remained a major reason for why he wanted to build a life in San Jose and not even consider a career in another region, no matter how great the program. He’d turned down positions at Johns Hopkins and NIH because of that.

Neil got out of the car and went through his usual visitor protocols. The staff were very familiar with him and greeted him warmly as he made his way to the social spaces at the facility looking for Gabbi. Although, the sun shone brightly, it wouldn’t be warm enough for sitting outside for probably another hour or so.

He found her in the main recreation room working with paints. She’d gotten really into that lately, and he’d given her a big paint kit for Christmas that she’d been using every day it seemed. 

Grabbing a chair to sit beside her, Neil greeted his sister with a kiss to her cheek.

“Gabbi, how are you today, mi amorcita?”

Gabbi, smiled broadly, excited to see her brother as always. He loved that he could brighten her day like that. “Neil, I was hoping you would be here today. I’ve been painting all morning.”

Neil took a look at what she’d done so far. She really did have an eye for color. Sometimes she’d paint something more familiar like an animal or a pretty object. But she mostly liked experimenting with all the colors and mixing them up in a way that looked beautiful to her. He quite liked her interpretations. For her birthday, he planned on taking a collection of her paintings and making a big book of them so she could flip through all the things she’d created. Of course, he’d keep a few for himself, too.

“You want to tell me about what you’ve been painting?”

They sat together for a while, Gabbi showing him the other picture she’d been working on before starting something new. One of them contained streaks of purple and orange, kind of like a sunrise. He had a fleeting thought that Claire would really love that one since she’d told him a couple of months ago how she’d come to love watching the sunrise with Sammy. They’d often be up at that hour, and she found watching the brightening sky as she and Sam started the day very soothing.

“Hey Gabbi, do you think I could have this picture? I have a friend who I think would like it a lot.”

Gabbi thought about it for a few moments, and then nodded. “Is it for your friend Claire?”

The question surprised Neil. Why in the world would she think to ask that?

“You remember my friend, Claire?” he asked.

They’d never met in person, although they’d once done a video chat when Gabbi had wanted to see the baby that Neil always talked about. It had been the cutest conversation with all of them, Neil and Gabbi on Gabbi’s tablet and Claire holding Sammy on her lap at home. There had been a lot of giggles that afternoon together.

Gabbi nodded. “I remember her. Isn't she your girlfriend?” she asked, pulling out the picture Neil requested and making sure it had dried properly. They’d carefully roll it up later as they do all the other paintings Neil takes with him.

“What makes you think she’s my girlfriend,” Neil said, curious about her answer. It was easy for people to underestimate his sister because of her limitations, but they had a connection not many people could understand and she paid attention to a lot of things other people wouldn't notice.

Gabbi neatened up the other paintings on the table beside them. “You talk about her a lot,” she explained.

Neil couldn’t really deny that. A lot of his world involved Claire and Sam these days and he did tend to slip into stories about them. His friends made fun of him for it all the time.

“Just because I talk about her doesn’t mean she’s my girlfriend,” he replied.

“I think you like her a lot. She makes you smile when you talk about her.”

Neil laughed. “Do I?”

“Yes,” Gabbi said, very matter-of-fact. “Maybe she’ll come and paint with us and bring the baby.”

He’d never seen Gabbi say anything like that before. They were both protective about their relationship, and she could be stand-offish with people who shared Neil's attention. He didn’t introduce her to people in his life unless they were really important to him. It had taken her a while to warm up to Jessica, and there hadn’t really been enough time for her to get to know Audrey.

So, for Gabbi to proactively ask for anyone other than him or their parents was unheard of.

“Would you like her to come visit?” Neil asked carefully, unsure of what to make of Gabbi’s interest in Claire. He wanted to be happy about it, but he didn’t want to push Gabbi into something she wasn’t ready for.

Gabbi nodded and picked up her paintbrush to start working on something new. They’d finished her last picture with Neil adding a few silly flourishes that made Gabbi laugh. She particularly liked his terribly painted flower.

“We don’t have to paint. We could also play a game.”

Neil couldn’t suppress his huge smile at the ease of his sister’s suggestion. She didn’t always remember people and conversations and it meant a lot to him that she remembered Claire. He realized that he probably did talk about her a lot to Gabbi when telling her funny stories about his days – all the fun stuff seemed to involve Claire and Sam.

“I’ll ask her, but I bet you she says yes right away. I’m sure you’ll like being friends with her too. And with Sam.”

Gabbi nodded again as she continued to paint. “She should be your girlfriend, Neil.”

Neil busied himself by cleaning some of her brushes in the cups of water on the table beside them. “Why do you say that, Gabs.”

“You have a lot of fun with her.”

“I’d like it if we could all have fun together, too,” he said, talking through the idea a little more.

“She sounds nice. She takes care of her little brother, like you take care of me.”

Neil stopped his fiddling and stared at his sister who seemed unphased by the significance of her simple statement. It struck him to see his relationship with Claire the way his sister saw it. From his stories and the brief time they’d interacted face to face, she’d seen enough for a clear indication of Claire’s goodness in her mind.

Gabbi painted silently next to him for a while, humming happily to herself. She’d ask Neil for a particular brush or ask him which color she should use from time to time. Neil’s head was swimming a little at Gabbi’s observations, so he also remained content in her quiet company. At the top of the hour, several of the residential aides came into the room and announced lunch. Gabbi jumped up, excited since today they’d be having tacos. He’d thought about staying and joining her, but if he wanted to meet Claire and Sam at the park on time, he needed to head out soon.

As Gabbi cleaned up her work area and put away her pictures, Neil helped her wrap up the ones that were done as they chatted together. When they finished, he gave her a big hug and told her he’d see her again soon. Although he always experienced a deep sadness about leaving her, it made him feel better to see how easily she was able to let him go and join her friends for lunch. He waved goodbye at her as she left the room with the others, making sure to smile and wish her well. He’d never completely get used to leaving her behind.

Sighing, he headed back out to his car with a lot on his mind.

As if on autopilot he drove home and changed clothes. He slipped on his warmer jogging pants and a long-sleeved shirt with a fitted fleece pullover. Filling up his water bottle, he checked to make sure he had his wallet and keys and headed back to his car.

The tension of the previous night, coupled with this morning’s prodding from his colleagues and his sister’s blessing created a nervousness about seeing Claire again that he’d been fighting all day. Now on his way to Claire and Sam, he didn’t know how things were going to go. He knew where he wanted them to go, but they still had to make it through those last crucial steps to becoming something more.

When he reached the park they’d agreed on, he had about five minutes to spare before meeting them. He texted to let her now that he’d just arrived and she texted back immediately that she and Sam would be waiting for him at the agreed spot.

Taking a deep breath in and out, Neil climbed out of the car and locked it, leaning against the door for a few moments before making his way down the nearest path into the park. And several minutes later, he saw her in the distance, holding Sam in her lap on a bench as she dug in the stroller for some unidentified object. She tended to get colder than he did, so she had on a thicker jacket and hat along with her all-weather running pants.

As he got closer, he could tell that Sammy was not a happy camper. He was fidgeting against Claire and Neil could make out his little frown and familiar displeased whine as he got closer. His instincts kicked in of wanting to go to the little boy and hold him close until whatever troubled him went away. Claire didn’t seem phased. She dug further into the stroller and pulled out a discarded hat, which explained Sam’s grumpy state. He wasn’t a fan of accessories in general – mittens, socks, hats, they were all his enemy.

Claire tried putting his hat back on anyway with Sam immediately reaching to tear it off, his whines turning into whimpers. Despite the fussy baby at her lap, maneuvering her fully stocked stroller, and dodging other park-goers, Claire’s smile when she saw him approach lit up her whole face.

No excuses. Today they would talk – and everything would change between them in all the ways they’d both been hoping for.

Taking the last few steps toward them, Neil immediately picked up Sam from Claire’s lap to hold him up and kiss his tear-streaked cheek.

He then met Claire’s eyes and saw the delight at watching him and Sam together along with a desire and anticipation for what they knew was to come.

Neil couldn’t wait.

_TBC..._


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at this, another chapter! I hope you enjoy. Thanks so much for all of the feedback and love. I really appreciate it.

“I think he’s going to be a musician,” Neil said, catching Claire’s wince at his prediction for Sammy’s career aspirations.

The forecast had originally called for rain, but it was turning into a beautiful spring afternoon. The midday sun brought enough warmth for Claire and Neil to turn their day in the park into a long overdue run with Sam in the jogging stroller. Usually Claire took him running with her in the mornings, so Sammy didn’t quite know what to think of the adventure. But after a rocky start that involved a power struggle over wearing his hat, he now seemed content to enjoy the ride and watch the world go by, babbling on occasion about his thoughts on it all.

She and Neil were another situation altogether. When he joined her at their meeting spot, neither could hide their pleasure at seeing the other. Claire could feel the changed energy between them as they got Sam settled down and set off on their favorite path. She thought one of them would continue their flirty banter, but Sam’s grumpiness had kept their attention focused on him for much of their run.

“A musician?” Claire didn’t bother to hide her skepticism. “I mean, I’ll support him no matter what, but I hope he picks something a little more practical.”

“That kind of thing isn’t something you pick. It picks you. And he’s already so musically inclined.” They’d just turned onto the path that would lead them up a hill and past a great view of the city. Neil had suggested they detour to give Sammy a chance to admire the view.

Claire smiled down into the stroller, checking on the subject of their conversation. They’d just traded off, so for this leg, Neil pushed him along the running path. “He does like his musical instruments,” she admitted. They’d slowed a bit as they ascended the hill at a leisurely pace. “What do you think, Sammy? You wanna be a rock star when you grow up?”

Sam glanced up at hearing his name. He gave his big sister a big grin, flashing his four newly sprung teeth as he waved the stuffed toy tied to his wrist.

Laughing at the little boy’s reaction, Neil slowed further to let Claire step aside as another runner passed in the opposite direction. Before she rejoined him, he peeked into the stroller and noticed Sammy still waving his arms and getting a bit fidgety at his lack of mobility.

“Hey, we’ll be at the top in a minute. How about we take a break and let Sammy stretch his legs.”

Claire checked her watch. “That sounds good. It’s about time for his snack anyway.”

They ran for another minute or two until they reached the highest point on the hill, relieved to see that the wide expanse of green space wasn’t as crowded as they suspected. Neil and Claire slowed their pace and walked a few more minutes under the guise of finding a good, safe spot for them to settle with Sam. Once discovered, Claire pulled out the blanket she'd stored in the stroller. Neil and Claire spread out their play area and retrieved snacks for everybody before dropping to the ground and admiring the view with Sam.

“This is nice,” Claire mused, letting Sammy crawl around in her lap with his block set. He clanked the wood shapes together as he told himself an undecipherable story to go along with it. Neil leaned back on his arms, resting from their run and enjoying the sun. Every so often, he’d offer Sammy another block to play with.

“So …” Neil said after they’d settled themselves. “I had a lot of interesting conversations today.”

“Oh yeah? Like what?” Claire turned to him and caught a saucy grin on Neil’s face. She’d come to recognize that look as a sign he was thinking something flippant about the two of them. Not that she minded.

“Apparently, we are embarrassing ourselves by stringing things along and not hooking up yet.”

Claire laughed loudly drawing Sam’s attention. He smiled, too, at seeing her humor, and then returned to his play. “Who said that?”

“Audrey,” Neil said, rolling his eyes. “And Andrews. Well, technically Andrews called us fools.”

“Ouch. That’s harsh. I’m sure you handled it with dignity,” she replied, smirking at him. “Better you than me."

“I don’t know about that. You would have gotten an earful too, I bet. And I saved you from two more lectures about the Chapman—”

“Neil,” Claire whined, rivaling Sammy’s earlier protests.

“—but,” he interrupted, “I told them I wasn’t going to push you anymore and they shouldn’t either, so you’re welcome. I’m just telling you what they said.”

To Claire it sounded like the usual ploy – another opportunity to make her feel bad about not applying. She appreciated their concern, but wished they would back off. She was more than capable of making her own professional decisions based on her priorities.

“It’s not lost on me that by claiming to just be the messenger, you then get to bug me about it again while saying you’re not bugging me about it again.”

Neil only shrugged. “They’re just concerned because they both know who’s on the long list for finalists, and they’re not impressed.”

This piqued Claire’s interest. She’d bowed out because of the competitiveness and the chance she wouldn’t be able to accept even if she made it to the finalist stage – it felt like too much for a long shot and a waste of her preciously little free time. But if Andrews and Lim were concerned enough to mention it to Neil then that was something maybe she should consider.

Or maybe she should stop letting her nosy friends and colleagues influence her life. They were particularly annoying on this issue, even when she’d asked them to stop guilting her into applying. She didn’t believe Neil intended to do those things in bringing it up, so she chose not to give him too hard a time about it.

It mostly annoyed her that his tactic had been somewhat effective in getting her to reconsider. Not that she’d tell him that.

“Why don’t we move on from this subject before you ruin our lovely afternoon.” Neil nodded, having the good sense to look properly chastised. She then flashed him a shy smile. “And let’s not skip over that first part. How exactly do you suggest we do something about being foolish and embarrassing ourselves by not hooking up?”

Neil’s playful grin returned. “I’m glad you asked,” he said, raising up to sit shoulder to shoulder with her. Claire noticed the boldness of his proximity, and instead of ignoring the signs of his attraction, she welcomed the closeness. As he made himself comfortable, she watched his expression turn serious. “I hope you know that I’m crazy about Sammy.”

She scoffed at his admission. “I may have gotten a few hints at that. Maybe from the car seat you put in your fancy car for him or taking over his birthday party plans.” Neil laughed at her teasing. “Or that I could drag you to the park with us on your only afternoon off in three weeks,” Claire mused.

“I guess, I haven’t been sly about hiding those particular feelings.” He turned to her, catching her eye. “But I want you know that I’m crazy about you too. And it doesn’t have anything to do with Sam. It’s only about you and how I feel when I spend time with you.” He looked out at the view. “It’s probably how I started feeling about you before Sammy even arrived, if I’m being totally honest. Back last year when we were still becoming friends.”

Claire’s heart sped up at hearing that. She’d been having some of the same thoughts lately, thinking back to those first months of friendship and how things had changed so gradually over time.

“I like spending time with you too,” Claire said to him. There were so many things that she’d come to enjoy about his company over the years. His dry but wickedly funny sense of humor. The intense seriousness that reflected his deep caring and commitment to whatever he put his mind to. She even loved the swagger and charm that helped him command any room he entered. It affected her as much as anyone. And when they’d started becoming real friends, to have all those parts of him focused on her alone was exhilarating.

She looked shyly at him and then back down at Sam playing with his blocks. “I didn’t think I was your type, I guess.”

Neil smiled. “We both were in for a surprise on that front. Doesn’t change how I feel though,” he admitted. “And whether or not you fit the type of woman I’ve been with before, there are so many things about you that I admire. Your integrity and your brilliance. That big heart of yours that makes you get too involved with your patients.” They both chuckled at the truth of that last part.

Claire appreciated how honest and open he was being with her. Things like that weren’t easy for her, and she wanted to work on that for her own benefit and for his. She hoped he could be patient as she figured out how to be more like that. She’d even talked to her therapist about it the week before when she could admit that things were changing between them.

She figured the best she could do for now was be as honest as possible with him too.

“I’m not used to feeling like this,” she admitted. “Not that I don’t want to go with it,” she assured him. “It’s that I’m such a mess about having people care about me.”

“Really? I hadn’t noticed,” Neil said, that wry humor on display. She nudged him with her elbow and enjoyed their shared amusement at his joke. “Claire, whatever you’re feeling, no matter how confusing or scary or whatever, is okay with me. I don’t want to pressure you into anything.” He reached over and pulled out Sam’s favorite stuffed animal to offer the little boy, perhaps to distract himself and steel his emotions for whatever she would tell him.

“You’re not pressuring me,” she assured him. “Neil.” She waited for him to turn his attention back to her. “I’ve never been good at relationships. I’m scared about so many things, including that maybe I’m broken somehow when it comes to love and romance. But I want to try. Because I care about you so much. Not because of how much you love Sammy or because of how good you are to me. It’s because I want to make you as happy as being with you makes me.”

With each word, she noticed Neil’s grin widen. He looked away, and she saw the faint signs of flushed cheeks tinged an adorable pink hue.

This was another new side to him. The blushing beau.

She reached over and stroked his cheek. He rewarded her with a beautiful smile in return.

“You do make me happy,” Neil said. “You're not broken, Claire, you're just careful. And for good reason. I don't expect anything from you that you're not willing to give. And I think we can be really good together.”

Claire smiled sweetly at him. “I do too.” Neil took her hand and brought her fingers to his lips for a kiss. She lay her head against his shoulder as Sam played happily in her lap, feeling the pressure of Neil’s lips at her hairline. “So, does this mean we’re going steady? Do I get to wear your doctor’s coat or something to let people know we’re an item?”

Neil laughed. “I don’t think that’s necessary. And as much as I’d love to get our friends off our backs, it might actually be more fun to see how long it takes them to figure it out.”

“That’s a great point,” she agreed. Now Sam had started crawling all over Neil, offering him a few blocks before pushing them around the blanket again. Neil played along, counting each of the blocks for him in Spanish.

“And to answer your question,” he said, turning back to her. “Maybe this means that you could spare a few hours every once in a while to let me take you to dinner. You told me that Isabelle is watching Sammy next weekend. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind a few extra hours of this little gentleman’s company so I can take you out. I know Marcus would agree given his nosy comments this morning.”

Claire pretended to think about it. “I don’t know, a dinner date might be too romantic for me,” she joked.

“Oh, I wouldn’t think of making it too romantic. We’ll hit up a food truck, eat our meal in the parking lot. You know, a real non-romantic date.” They both laughed, though it did have a strange sort of appeal to her. She did like a good food truck.

“I’ll consider that option then. Since you’re so hopelessly attracted to me, I guess I can play along,” she joked.

“Such humility! Who wouldn’t be into that?” Neil teased back. He still sat close next to her, squarely in her personal space as they’d quietly talked between them. “And in this case, you’re absolutely right,” Neil said softly. Letting his gaze linger at her mouth before returning to stare into her eyes, he smiled down at her with an open curiosity. A pleasant heat spread rapidly through her chest, up her neck, and across her face. She wondered if he could tell.

Sam, now more curious about what the two adults were up to, pulled himself to his feet and waved one of his blocks at Neil, nearly hitting him in the chin.

Neil diverted his attention to the little boy without missing a beat. “Hey pal, you getting restless?” He scooted closer and helped with Sam’s favorite game of knocking over stacks of blocks. The boy squealed in delight and demanded Neil do more stacking. After a little while of that, Sam began to loudly call for his C.C., pointing at her and patting her knee with his little hand.

"Sammy, I'm right here. What do you need, sweetie?" Sam ignored her and continued waving his block at Neil and calling for her.

"I think he wants me to give you the block." Neil took the block from Sam and handed it to Claire to add to the pile they were building. That seemed to satisfy the little boy. He picked up another block and gave it to Neil, again pointing to Claire. Neil handed it over and Claire stacked that one too.

"How chivalrous. You must have learned that from your best buddy Neil," she cooed to Sam. Her little brother smiled up at her and then proceeded to knock the blocks over and kick them with his feet to his own amusement. "Well, so much for that," Claire added.

Neil chuckled. "We'll have to work on that, won't we Sammy?" Sam ignored them both and went back to destroying his block collection.

In between entertaining Sam, they chatted about the hospital and Neil’s last few surgeries that Claire wanted to hear about in detail. She told him about the research project she’d taken on based on a weird case out of the oncology department. When Sammy tired of his block set, he scooted over to Neil and demanded his attention for more active play. Neil took the hint and helped him stretch his legs by holding his arms as they “walked” through the grassy area around their blanket. Sammy giggled at how it tickled his feet. Working up an appetite, they coaxed him back on the blanket with his favorite snack of fruit mash and graham crackers.

After filling his belly and getting a clean diaper, the little boy sat contentedly against Neil’s raised legs as both he and Claire reclined on their backs taking in the view.

“He’s gotten so big,” Claire gushed, wiggling Sam’s toes while Neil held the boy’s hands to balance him.

Sammy smiled at the playfulness and then returned to people watching – or at the moment, dog watching. She loved these moments with him. And with Neil. She looked up at him, noticing the lazy smile on his face as he played with her baby brother.

Neil gently tugged at Sammy’s arms and Sam pulled strongly back. A sense of pride and affection welled up in her as she thought about how healthy and vibrant the little boy was becoming, oblivious to the bruising schedule and life-altering sacrifices she made to keep him safe and happy. Of course, Claire tried never to let her stress show in front of Sam. She hoped he’d never, ever feel as if he’s a burden rather than a calling for which she’d gladly give up anything.

And although it wasn’t the whole story, it had brought her and Neil to this place of closeness that she was excited to explore. 

Scooting closer to Neil, Claire lay her head against his shoulder to get a more direct view of Sammy. “Look at that sweet little face,” she cooed.

Sammy giggled at having Claire’s attention. He reached down to pat her face, uncaring that he was taking Neil’s hand along for the ride as well. She felt Neil’s knuckle graze her cheek, a soft caress back and forth before he loosened, but didn’t release, his grip on Sammy’s hand. The boy babbled some brilliant point to which Claire responded as if in complete understanding.

When she looked over at Neil, to see if he found Sam as hilarious as she did, she caught him staring at her instead. She smiled at him and Neil responded with a reverent grin of his own.

“You’re so good with him,” Neil murmured. “And he loves you so much.” Claire’s eyes warmed at the praise. “You’re his whole world.”

She sighed. “And he’s mine.” She reached up to run her hand over Sammy’s soft curls and tickle his neck until he started pumping his feet against Neil’s chest. When he got in a good kick to Neil’s chin, they both laughed along with him.

“Oh, I take it back. We’ve got a soccer player over here!” he tutted at Sam in Spanish. “I’ll teach him everything he needs to know.” Claire could picture it, too, the afternoons teaching Sam the ropes, maybe coaching his soccer team down the line. She couldn’t wait.

Claire gazed up at Neil as he smiled adoringly at Sammy. She felt so lucky to have him in their lives. Not just all the help and support, but to hear that he planned to stick around to be some kind of positive male presence in Sam’s life. No matter what happened between the two of them, she had complete faith in his commitment to Sam. It meant a lot because he didn’t owe her anything. He didn’t have to do it. And yet there was no doubt that spending time with her and Sammy is exactly where he wanted to be.

They lay that way for a while, playing with Sammy and listening to the life around them in the park. They pointed out a big fluffy dog that filled Sam’s eyes with both terror and curiosity. For the longest time, he stared at two other children playing with a bubble kit. When he began to rub his eyes, Claire figured he’d reached his excitement threshold and the time for a long overdue nap.

She rolled off of Neil and onto her back, pulling out a tote bag with extra clothes in it to cushion her head. Sam immediately noticed her absence and reached for her with Neil reluctantly passing him over. Lifting him high above her, she chuckled at the startled expression and then open wonderment on his face at the fun move before she brought him down to settle against her chest. He immediately snuggled into her. When he brought his fist up to gnaw on, she knew his fight against a good nap would be short-lived.

Sure enough, Sam began blinking more and more slowly as he stared over at Neil – he’d rolled over to prop himself up on an elbow and watch the two of them. This time, it was him leaning next to Claire’s shoulder to lie face to face with Sammy. He reached over to run the back of his hand against Sam’s cheek, hoping to relax him and coax him into slumber.

“Do you want to put him back in the stroller and we can run him home for his nap?” Neil asked, still soothing Sammy into sleep.

Claire rubbed Sammy’s back, feeling the soft rhythm of his breathing against her. “No, I’d like to stay out a little longer. Do you need to be—”

“—no,” Neil interrupted, then smiled at his quick insistence. “No,” he said more gently. “I don’t need to be anywhere but here.” Sammy’s eyes had closed so Neil pulled back, not wanting to disturb him. He looked up at Claire who had been watching him interact with Sammy, noting the gentle way he cradled Sam’s tiny head and cherishing each breath the little boy took.

Neil was the first to break eye contact with her, returning his attention to Sam. After a few more moments, he pulled himself away to clean up the remaining snacks and toys they’d taken out during their play time. Claire continued to periodically rub Sam’s back as she watched the people pass by and Neil’s puttering around the blanket. When everything was tucked away and stowed, he returned to laying at her side, again propping himself up to gaze down at the two of them.

“Why are you looking at us like that?” Claire snickered.

“Like what?” Neil knew exactly how he was looking at them, but probably didn’t think she’d pick up on it so quickly. Her skeptical expression confirmed to him that he’d been busted. “Fine, I was just thinking that Sammy really does have a sweet face.”

That seemed to satisfy Claire, and she smiled down at Sam again. “Yeah, he’s a cutie.”

Neil’s eyes returned to her. When a breeze kicked up sending the curls framing her face into disarray, he reached over to tuck a strand of her hair behind her far ear.

“I think it runs in the family,” Neil murmured softly.

Claire’s response – a shy smile and noticeable hitch in her breathing – matched her now racing heart. “I guess Sammy was right to question your flirty intentions toward me after he falls asleep.”

Neil chuckled. “And I’m not going to apologize for it either.”

He leaned down, steady gaze on her as she anticipated their first real kiss. His expression, matched by her own, reflected a satisfying surrender to their attraction that had simmered for as long as they’d known each other really. His hand remained framing her cheek as the first brush of her lips to his stole her breath, stole the rhythm of her heart, stole her every thought. And then—

A loud snort startled them both and Neil jumped back. A quieter wheeze followed, Sammy clenching his little fists in sleep and settling into a steady and very noisy snore.

Claire and Neil burst into uncontrollable snickers while trying not to wake the baby. Leave it to Sam to turn their romantic milestone into being all about him again.

“He’s so loud,” Claire whispered. “I should be used to it, but it’s funny every time. His doctor says it’s normal, but this can’t be normal.”

Turning away to muffle his laughter, Neil nodded. “Maybe he’ll grow out of it.”

Claire’s snickers had died down, but the motion slightly disturbed Sam laying against her. A tiny frown appeared on his face at the rude disturbance, but she rubbed his back again until he settled. When they were sure he’d fallen back into a good sleep, their eyes met once more.

“Maybe Sam doesn’t like romance either, and we were getting too mushy for him,” Claire offered.

Neil smiled softly at her, fingers playing at the loose strands of her hair escaping her ponytail. “You Brownes are going to be the death of me, aren’t you?” Neil responded. His expression told her that he'd die happy under such a circumstance. “I’m nothing if not resilient, though, so how about we try that again?”

There was no hesitation from either when he leaned down to meet her waiting lips, tasting her and letting the tension build as he released and then captured her lips again and again. Her arms surrounded Sammy resting against her, so he reached over to lay a gentle, caressing hand against her forearm. He peppered her with a few more deep kisses and then pulled back to resume his stroking of her arm and the crown of her head.

“I guess I’ll allow that bit of romance,” Claire offered.

Neil chuckled. “Please, Claire, all this gushing is unbecoming and embarrassing.”

She pinched him lightly in the arm. Eventually, he lowered himself to recline more comfortably next to her, and she eased into his embrace as he put an arm around her and Sam. Neither said anything for a long while as they enjoyed being together like this on a beautiful day, just the three of them.

“Gabbi said the sweetest thing today,” Neil murmurred, his hand caressing Claire’s head. She looked up at him, noticing his slight smile at whatever memory had been triggered. “She told me I should invite you and Sam over for a visit so we could paint or play games together. She let me have one of her paintings I thought you’d like. It’s back in the car.”

That surprised Claire. She’d only seen Gabbi the one time over video chat when Neil’s sister had been interested in meeting Sammy. “That’s really nice. What brought that on?”

Neil’s smile widened. “She said you should be my girlfriend because I talk about you all the time.” That made Claire chuckle too. “And she said that she liked you because of how you take care of Sam like I take care of her.”

“Oh, Neil.” He’d been right. It was the absolute sweetest thing she could hope to hear. “I’d love to go visit her, if you think it’s okay. I don’t want to presume—”

“Are you kidding,” he said. “I’d love that. It’ll be fun.”

“Thank you.” This seemed like another big moment in their new relationship. She knew how much Neil’s sister meant to him. She trusted him completely with Sammy and hoped to return the favor with Gabbi.

Soon enough the breeze started kicking up more intensely and they realized they should get a move on before the afternoon cooled down into a chill. Neil carefully helped Claire up and they deposited a now awake but groggy Sammy into the stroller. They opted to walk rather than run back to where they entered the park with Neil pushing and Claire holding onto his arm as they strolled along the path.

They continued their evening at her apartment, playing more indoor games with Sam and feeding him his dinner. He showed her the painting Gabbi had given hin, and Neil promised to hang it up for her in the hallway.

The entire atmosphere had changed between them. And Claire rather enjoyed the changes, the moments where Neil would let his hand linger along her back or when he’d lean down for a quick kiss as they worked together to prepare dinner for themselves and Sam. Neil offered to handle bath time of course. Maybe as a testament to how much energy he’d gotten out of Sam’s system that day, the little boy even let Neil put him to bed. Claire welcomed the distraction that allowed her to clean up the kitchen and living room before it got too late.

Neil walked into the kitchen, setting the monitor on the counter as he joined her at the sink. She’d just finished loading the dishwasher and was wiping off excess water from cleaning the countertops.

“That was quick,” she said, hanging the dish towel on the stove handle.

Neil nodded. “He was tired. We wore him out.”

Claire leaned against the countertop. “He wore us out a little too,” she said. The day had definitely taken its toll on her body. The playtime coupled with a run had her muscles aching a fair bit.

Neil chuckled and nodded.

Before she realized his intention, he moved in front of her, folding her into his embrace. She brought her arms up to his chest, already enjoying the intimacy of that touch and his arms wrapped around her. She didn’t wait for him to lean in, instead stretching up to press her lips to his. Neil immediately responded, letting his hands wander along her back and down to her hips. She gently cupped his face and held him to her.

Now that they’d gotten a taste of each other, it seemed they both couldn’t get enough. 

Claire gasped as Neil’s hands wandered down to her backside and pressed her fully against his body. She whispered his name, which seemed to fuel his desire for her even more, and he moved his mouth from her lips to press a trail of kisses down her neck. She ran her fingers through his hair encouraging him to continue.

“I’m glad one of us seems to have plenty of energy,” Claire murmured into his ear.

“You’re one to talk,” Neil said, after Claire had coaxed him into returning his lips to her mouth and kissing her deeply once more.

They stood there in her kitchen making out for a minute or two until a rather enthusiastic bit of maneuvering upended a stack of clean bowls she’d meant to put away.

Undeterred, Neil continued to hold her against him. “We should move this somewhere more comfortable,” he suggested.

Claire pulled back, though Neil didn’t let her go far. “Are you trying to sweet-talk your way into my bed, Melendez? Before we’ve even had a first date? That’s not what I’ve come to expect from my very own personal hopeless romantic.”

Neil rolled his eyes. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I was going to suggest we go sit on the couch. Looks like you’re the one with your mind in the gutter.” Claire giggled. Neil turned serious and pulled her chin up to meet his gaze. “There’s no rush. We can take our time.”

“Yeah,” Claire responded. She had to admit that she tended to default into sexual relationships quickly, not wanting to deal too much with emotional attachments. But things between her and Neil were so much different than she’d experienced before.

Neil brought his hand up to stroke her cheek. “You mean a lot to me, and I don’t want to ruin things by going too quickly or doing anything we’re not ready for.”

What did she do to win the attention of this sweet man, Claire thought to herself.

“Neil, that means a lot. I appreciate you saying that.” She shook her head. “I feel like that should be my line, though. I know I’m the one that has an issue being too casual about sex.” She brushed her thumb against his cheek again. “I wouldn’t blame you for wanting to take things slowly with me so you can be sure about all of this.”

She pressed her lips to his in a chaste kiss and then pulled him in for a tight embrace. When she pulled back, she reached up to run her hands through his hair again and stare into his intense dark eyes that were laser-focused on her. She saw the lust and affection there. And the patience to go at whatever speed worked for the both of them.

Neil kissed her again, this time a light, lingering taste. When he pulled back, he smiled wickedly. “I’m pretty sure about us, just so you know.”

“Yeah?” she asked, now grinning at her.

“Yeah. I’m good.”

She did appreciate Neil’s willingness to take things slow. But she trusted him. And now that she’d let herself fully give in to her feelings, she didn’t want to deprive herself of all the fun things Neil Melendez had to offer in their newfound relationship.

He pulled her flat against him again. “How about you? Are you good?”

“I am,” Claire replied, encouraging him to let his hands roam freely, including now at the hem of her shirt where his fingers traced a strip of bare skin between her pants and top.

“How good?” Neil asked, carefully working his hands underneath her shirt to caress her back.

“You’re just going to have to do the hard work to find out,” she said, kissing him passionately and feeling him murmur in satisfaction as he moaned her name. Neil pressed eagerly against her as they leaned farther against the kitchen counter.

Neil pulled back, hooded eyes full of lust and wonder, and something else she recognized quite easily. Exhaustion.

Claire chuckled. “We’re still in the kitchen,” she said.

“I know,” he responded.

“We’re too tired to move this someplace else, aren’t we?” Claire said.

Neil frowned. “I will admit no such thing.” Claire laughed. “But I’d be happy to put a pin in this if _you’re_ too tired.”

“You’re too generous, Neil” Claire mocked dramatically, knowing she’s right and he’s just as tired as she is.

“I really am,” Neil agreed. He pulled her from the kitchen, grabbing the monitor and turning off the light. “And because I’m so generous, I will offer to take you to bed and tuck you in before I head home.” He led her down the hallway and into her bedroom, shutting the door softly behind them so as not to risk disturbing Sam.

“How about a compromise. You tuck me in, and then you tuck yourself in to keep me company.” Claire sat on the side of the bed and proceeded to slip off her running pants leaving her in a t-shirt and underwear. She expertly slipped out of her bra and crawled under the covers.

“How forward of you, Dr. Browne.” He leaned down to kiss her lightly, looking as if he’d bid her goodnight. But Claire pulled him by the shirt and he landed with a thud on the bed beside her. “If you insist,” he said. He slipped off his pants as well and slid in beside her, immediately teasing her about her cold feet. She tugged at his shirt and teased him about being modest until he reminded her about how cold she kept her apartment. 

Instead of continuing to make out, Claire crawled into his embrace, letting him hold her against his chest. They lay against each other, not talking as they enjoyed this new, satisfying intimacy. Claire felt herself lulled into a drowsy calm as she listened to Neil's breathing.

“You’re very comfortable,” Claire said, snuggling further into him.

“I aim to please,” Neil replied, sleepily. He pulled her more firmly against him and waited for her to settle again.

“Thanks for today. I’m glad we talked,” she whispered, turning her head up to kiss his chin. She didn’t have to see his face to know her words had made him smile. He didn’t respond, only reached for her hand to entwine his fingers with hers.

A few minutes later, they both drifted off into a peaceful slumber.

_TBC..._


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a long one! Almost like a few chapters in one. But I didn't want to split the scene up. Beware the rating change too, FYI. 
> 
> This ended up being nice to write given the frustrating beginning of the new season (which I'm not watching but have heard about). So much wasted there, and it's a real disservice to many of the characters. It's why I appreciate all the wonderful fic writers in this fandom whose creativity exceeds the choices the show is making. 
> 
> Sorry it took so long to update. This is also a chapter I wrote a long time ago that needed a lot of tweaking to get in good shape. And I write for my day job, so it's been really challenging to find pockets of time to get into it. But thanks for your patience, and I hope you enjoy it.

Neil pulled into the parking space in front of Claire’s building, checking how much time he had to spend here before heading back to his house. It was later than he’d like, but that couldn’t be helped.

The responsible part of his brain nagged at him to forego this visit. He’d left home early to handle an emergency at the hospital and still had a few things to do back at his house. But he’d made the usual lame excuses to justify seeing Claire and Sam. Of course, Claire would see right through all of them and pretend to be annoyed while secretly enjoying the time together as much as he did.

He told himself, too, that she probably had her hands full with Sam and could use another set of hands. Now that he’d started walking and was eager to explore, it took an extra level of vigilance to keep up with him. Just last week, Neil had turned his back for a moment and Sam had wandered from the living room across the kitchen to the laundry area in a matter of seconds. By the time Neil caught up, Sam had already dived into the laundry basket, throwing clothes everywhere.

He smiled at the memory and quickened his pace to Claire’s apartment.

Even though it’d been a couple of days since he’d spent quality time with her, Claire was never far from his thoughts. Thankfully, their new romantic status hadn't changed things too much from before. He could admit now how intensely he’d pined for her, wanting her from not-so-afar and thinking nothing would happen any time soon. Now that it had, he kicked himself for waiting so long. Every second of spending part of their crazy life together was a second that made _his_ life better.

And he'd made good on wooing her after that day in the park when they surrendered fully to their feelings, sometimes to her exasperation but more often to her amusement.

Isabel Andrews had already planned to watch Sam while Claire got her hair cut that following weekend, but it hadn't taken too much convincing for her to agree to a few extra hours. And Neil had been relieved. Not only did it mean he could take Claire on a proper date, but it was a huge step for Claire accepting help without making too much of a fuss. Even though Claire joked about Isabel being like a cool older sister, she didn't lean on her the way she did Neil. And it had taken a long time for her to rely on him without giving him a million qualifications for it. She could be so stubborn about letting her other friends lighten her load either at work or with Sam. As they grew closer, he hoped to become a real partner to her, someone she took for granted as part of her daily routine instead of the good friend she called for backup.

But they weren't quite there yet, still exploring this new side to their relationship.

For their first official date, he and Claire had gone for a late lunch at the same restaurant where they’d shared their first meal together as friends. He’d threatened to bring flowers, which Claire scoffed at. Then he'd laughed when she surprised _him_ with flowers as a joke. After lunch, he’d held her hand as they walked from the restaurant to the ice cream parlor a few blocks away and shared a banana split – and then teased each other about having to run off the calories.

When they returned to the Andrews’ house to pick up Sam, they were met with a hilarious scene of Marcus and Isabel having transformed their usually impeccable living room into a toddler obstacle course complete with blanket and pillow forts. They’d all sat around for over an hour talking and taking turns crawling around with Sam who couldn’t get enough of the many fun play things in the room. It’d been a little strange to see Andrews in that kind of scene – Neil had seen him interact well enough with older kids and teenagers, but not so much young children. Yet Marcus was clearly enjoying himself.

They’d returned to Claire’s apartment, and Neil had taken great pleasure in handling bedtime with Sam, having not seen him the previous few nights. He didn’t want their relationship to suffer just because he and Claire were now together. When he’d mentioned that to Claire after he’d put Sam to bed, she’d rolled her eyes.

‘As if you’d ever disappoint Sam,’ she’d said and went back to loading the dishwasher. He accepted the truth of that and joined her to finish straightening up the mess they’d made getting Sam fed and tucked in.

And when they were done with that, they turned their full attention to each other.

She’d started with a not so innocent kiss to his shoulder – a simple gesture as she passed him on the way to depositing a pile of stuffed animals into Sam’s toy chest. Neil had retaliated by following right behind her and pulling her into his arms. Before long, they were making out like teenagers on her couch.

This time, there were no gentlemanly offers to tuck her in and head home. He led her to the bedroom himself to continue their eager exploration of each other. They’d made love well into the evening and it had been spectacular, beyond what he'd fantasized about for months.

When he’d promised her a repeat performance in the morning before he’d have to leave for work, she’d laughed. Sam’s early wake-up call would thwart that, she’d assured him. Sure enough, he’d woken up to an empty bed and the sweet sounds of Claire and Sam going about their morning. He’d quickly dressed so he could join them, but when he found the siblings in the kitchen, Sam sunny and cheerful as Claire gave him his breakfast, he simply stood leaning against the entryway watching them together. It made him so thankful and happy that this was his life now.

Neil had been joking when he suggested it, but they hadn’t explicitly said anything to their colleagues and friends about their changed status. So far, no one seemed to suspect a thing, mostly because they’d essentially been in a pseudo-platonic relationship for quite a while. The only people who knew for sure were the Andrews and his friend Joe who liked making fun of his "giddiness" now that he and Claire had gotten their acts together.

He preferred to call it well-deserved idiotic happiness. Neil made a mental note to mention that to Claire – he enjoyed when she pretended to tolerate his romantic side.

On the other hand, Claire was a stickler for no PDA at work, which still took some getting used to for him. He’d always been a possessive kind of guy, eager to show off the women he’d been attached to and a sucker for small moments of intimacy. Claire was having none of that, though. Not that it surprised him. If he hadn’t known better, he never would have guessed she and Kalu had been dating, or whatever it was they were doing together, their first year of residency. He figured she had a point anyway given that he used to be her boss. No need to stir up the gossip-mongers.

Besides, Claire made up for it when they were alone together.

Neil smiled in anticipation of seeing Claire and Sam as he let himself into the building with his spare key. He could already imagine Claire in her slightly frazzled state and ready for a break after wrangling Sammy all morning. It’s like the little boy knew he had her undivided attention for two full days and meant to make the most of it.

Today they’d both need to save their energy for the long haul. He'd relieve her for a little while to shower and get her and Sammy’s things together. Then they’d head to his house for the birthday party they’d been planning for Sam the last several weeks. He’d get to play with a few friends from day care, and of course, their friends from work wouldn’t miss a chance to spoil the little boy rotten. He and Claire had gone back and forth about using his place and ultimately accepted it was a better option than trying to cram everyone into her apartment. It took some rearranging of furniture and major childproofing last night to get it ready.

And after they celebrated their favorite one-year old, he had another surprise in store for Claire. She could definitely use the pick-me-up.

After all the encouragement and nudging and sometimes pleading, Claire had finally been convinced to submit her materials for the Chapman a few days before the deadline. He'd given her space to work on it, coming over a couple of evenings in a row to watch Sam so she could focus. He'd also read over her application and letters of reference. She'd put together a strong submission. Of course, he was biased, but he felt the committee would be crazy not to give her the award. She was exactly the kind of applicant they loved.

Except when they announced the winners a few days ago, she hadn't even placed. She'd put on a brave face, but Neil could see that she'd been crushed by it. He wanted to do something to chase away that sadness and disappointment, and he hoped what he had planned would do the trick.

Listening at the door, Neil didn’t hear any obvious calamity as he let himself in. He stood at the entrance to shed his shoes and frowned at the suspiciously quiet apartment. When he'd come by last Saturday, Claire had been approaching her wits end, frazzled and struggling to appease an uncharacteristically grumpy Sam who'd made a complete mess of his breakfast. So he expected to be greeted with the happy sounds of play or the excited adventure known as lunchtime. He probably should have called first. Maybe they’d gone to the park.

Neil walked farther into the apartment and saw Claire lounging on the couch in a robe reading a book. She looked over her shoulder and smiled up at him. He almost did a true double-take at the oddity of such a relaxed scene on a normally chaotic Saturday morning.

“Hey there. I wasn’t expecting to see you until later.” He joined her on the couch, leaning down to kiss her waiting lips and sliding in next to her. His fingers brushed against her damp curls as he caught a whiff of her coconut-scented conditioner, which confused him even more. She must have washed her hair, and she usually only did that when she had back-up because it took so long to condition and style.

“We have a little time, and I thought I’d come help you get Sam and the rest of his things over to my place. Though apparently, you’ve got a lot of spare time on your hands. He reached over to twirl one of her curls around his finger.

Claire chuckled. “Well, we went to the park this morning, so he’s having a pretty good nap right now. I wanted him to have plenty of energy for his party."

“How long has he been out?”

She reached over to grip his wrist and check the time on his watch. “About an hour. He should be up in a little bit.” She closed her book and set it on the table. “And we’re all set. Everything's packed up for the party and ready to go.” She pointed to the bags neatly lined up across the room. “Everything set at your place?”

“Yeah, Joe came over last night and helped me with the balloon room. Sam is going to love that.” They both smiled, looking forward to seeing the little boy's reaction. “Park and Shaun are stopping by the restaurant to pick up the food and Morgan's picking up the cake on her way over.”

“Tell me you didn’t order your residents to run errands for you,” Claire teased.

Neil shrugged. “I didn’t order anyone to do anything. I asked our friends and colleagues if they wanted to help out, and they agreed. So, now all we have to do is get ourselves and the birthday boy there on time."

“Don’t worry about us. We’re good. I just have to get dressed.” Neil enjoyed the view as he watched her stretch, noticing the intriguing gap in her robe and the generous amount of leg she was showing. Suddenly, his curiosity over what she might be wearing underneath kicked into high gear.

Claire caught the change in his expression and rolled her eyes. “I wasn’t expecting you to stop by, you know. So, you can quit wondering if there’s something ‘fun’ for you to uncover.” Fun for him turned out to be the discovery that Claire had quite the collection and appreciation for lingerie. She’d said it was the kind of frivolous thing she could finally afford, and she liked to treat herself. Neil certainly had no complaints about it.

“The thing is, Claire,” Neil said scooting closer to her, “that makes me want to check for myself.” He reached over and played with one of the ties holding her robe closed. 

“We don’t have time for that,” she said, gently slapping his hand away. “Sam will be up soon and I still need to get dressed.”

Neil took her hand and pulled her closer to him, his arms then wrapping around her. “We can make time.” He pressed his lips to her throat and began kissing along her neck and across her cheek. When he reached her mouth, he pressed his lips to her smile and reveled in the immediate response he received as she deepened his kiss.

He would never get tired of this.

Encouraged by her enthusiastic response, Neil let his hand roam across her back, at her hips, anywhere to help him figure out what she had on underneath her robe. Definitely a bra. Probably matching panties, though if she had on one of those one-piece numbers, he was going to lose it. Unable to resist, he returned his fingers to her waist again to try to untie her robe.

“Neil,” Claire warned.

“Claire,” he pleaded in response. She giggled and ceased her resistance as he snuck his hand between the folds of the robe to caress her thigh and cup her backside.

She pulled back after a lingering kiss between them, blushing as she reigned in her own roaming hands. “Seriously, Neil, we don’t have time. We’ve got to be back at your place in an hour and finish setting up.”

“We’ll be fine,” he said, going back to kissing along her neck. And I can be quick.”

Claire laughed. “That probably isn’t something to brag about.” Finally, she pulled a little farther away from him and slipped out of his embrace. “Come on, I have to get dressed."

Neil sighed and continued to tug at her hand as she stood up. “For the record, this is very unfair.” Claire shrugged and extricated herself from his grip in time for them to hear grumblings from the baby monitor.

“See,” she said smugly, grabbing the monitor and turning towards the bedroom. Neil flopped his head against the back of the couch in defeat.

He stood up as well, catching up to her and guiding her past Sam’s room to her own to get ready. “You are not off the hook. I’m coming for you later on.”

The predatory look of anticipation she flashed as she retreated had him cursing their timing. Instead of sulking, he opened the door to Sam’s room and instantly focused on the sleepy little boy who nonetheless seemed very excited to see him.

“Hey, birthday boy. Your timing is terrible. I think you’ve definitely decided to go all protective older brother on me.”

Sam gurgled and reached for him, which Neil obliged by picking him up. Sam snuggled into him as they moved over to the changing table to get him into a clean diaper. Claire had helpfully laid out his clothes for the party.

“Look at this, your C.C. has you wearing my favorite outfit.” He wiggled the little boy into a t-shirt with baseballs all over it and maneuvered him into the matching overalls. “That’s what I love about that sister of yours – she thinks of everything.”

Neil sat Sam up to tackle his sleep-tossed curls. “We’re going to have a nice party for you today with lots of cake and presents and balloons,” he explained as he brushed Sammy's hair. Sam seemed to understand the picture being painted and babbled happily. “And all of our friends will be there. You and your C.C. are going to have a lot of fun.”

Sam signaled that he wanted to get down, but Neil still needed to put on his socks and shoes. Neil switched the conversation to Spanish as he quickly finished dressing Sam and finally set him on the floor. Of course, the little boy took off, probably in search of Claire and ran smack into her in the hallway as she came to check on them. Sam landed flat on his butt, yet didn't seem concerned. He pulled himself back up by anchoring to Claire’s leg and then pointing to the toy box. 

True to her word, Claire had dressed quickly in jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt along with sneakers since she knew she’d be spending the rest of the day running after Sam. He frowned about not learning the sexy details of what she wore underneath before they were interrupted.

“We’re ready whenever you are,” she said chasing after Sam and keeping him from pulling out all his toys right when they were going to leave.

* * *

Neil and Claire loaded her her car and got Sam strapped in before heading back to his place separately. All they needed to do was set out the drinks and set aside Sam’s presents, and Neil quickly showered and changed into casual slacks and a light sweater. About ten minutes after they’d arrived, Shaun and Park showed up with food and Morgan followed with the cake as they all helped lay everything out. People started trickling in soon after as the party moved into full swing.

They’d been hiding the patio area with all the balloons from Sam until the party officially started, and when they finally revealed the surprise, the little boy had been overjoyed. They’d barely been able to get him out of there so taken with the balloon scene. Once his three other playmates arrived, they’d been easy to watch as the kids toddled around among the balloons.

Claire let Neil take over all the hosting duties while she kept Sam entertained, so he mostly watched from afar as she kept him in a good mood throughout the afternoon. He was really enjoying himself, too. At the height of the party, they had about twenty or so people in his house. There were playmates and parents and a good number of people from the hospital, including Audrey, Glassman and his wife, and the Andrews. Joe and Claire's friend Dash swung by too.

They’d wanted to bring his sister over as well, but when he’d ask Gabi about it, she said she didn’t want to be around so many strangers. She asked if they could visit tomorrow, so he and Claire and Sam would meet his sister for the first time in-person then. 

An attempt to open presents didn't quite go as planned. Sam had been thoroughly uninterested and wanted to get back to the balloons. But when it was time for cake, Neil got good video of Claire “helping” Sam blow out his one candle. And he must have taken a hundred pictures as Sam made a mess of the plate in front of him. It was the cutest thing. Sam’s hands and mouth and clothes were covered in frosting, and Claire unsuccessfully kept trying to dodge the mess herself.

Neil would definitely remember the day for how much fun and joy they’d been able to share with their friends.

Late in the afternoon, Sam’s playmates and a few others headed out and about ten people remained lounging around Neil’s living room, grazing on the remaining food and relaxing. When it was time for Claire's big surprise, Joe came up behind him to see if he had everything he needed.

“You all set for the big moment, man?” 

Neil grinned. “I hope so. Claire’s pretty hit or miss about surprises. So I’ll either score a bunch of points or get the cold shoulder.”

“Naw, she’s gonna love it,” Joe assured him. “Trust your instincts. You got this.”

They headed to the garage to get his surprise from the extra refrigerator there. Joe kept watch to make sure the others were keeping Claire distracted so she wouldn’t suspect anything. Neil pulled out a big cookie cake from the fridge and started arranging candles around it.

Technically, Claire’s birthday wasn’t for another two weeks. But they had a party already lined up, thanks to Sam, and it seemed like too neat an opportunity for them to not surprise her with a joint celebration. Since they already had Sam’s cake (and he and the residents had gotten her one last year), Neil had opted for the cookie to mix things up. He’d hidden a stash of presents for her in the spare room that he’d collected throughout the week, and Joe had hidden the last-minute ones as the guests arrived.

“Okay, the coast is clear,” Joe said from the hallway as Neil carefully maneuvered himself with the candle-lit cookie cake. “You ready?” Neil nodded.

A roomful of heads turned when they saw the commotion from the kitchen area and greeted him with smiles at seeing the surprise revealed. Of course, everyone but Claire was in on it. Especially with the news about the Chapman, they wanted to do something to show their support. Rallying around Neil's surprise seemed as good a pick-me-up as anything.

Neil began a round of “Happy Birthday” that everyone joined in. He made his way toward where Claire sat supervising Sam as he continued to push around balloons. The new excitement had caught Sam’s attention and Isabel quickly held him back before he could run straight into Neil.

Claire looked truly surprised. Neil tried to detect any annoyance – after all, this gesture could be construed as the ultimate PDA in her rulebook. But once the shock wore off, she seemed genuinely delighted.

“My birthday isn’t until next month! Did all of you know about this?” Claire asked when they were done singing to her and joking around about the surprise.

“Yep,” Park said. “Fooled you good.”

Claire turned to Shaun. “You hate lying and you didn’t say a word when I talked to you the other day about the party.”

Shaun looked unconcerned. “It’s a surprise. Surprises have rules, and I followed them.” She shook her head in mock exasperation.

Morgan got her phone out to take a picture. “Now blow out those candles, old lady, before you burn up the cookie.”

Claire looked up at Neil who sat on her other side still holding the flaming dessert. He raised a brow and leaned in to murmur softly, “Don’t forget to make a wish.”

She winked at him before taking in a deep breath and blowing out the candles. Everyone cheered, and Claire looked positively misty as she thanked all of their friends for the surprise.

“Something tells me this idea came from you.” she said turning to Neil as Marcus picked out the candles and everyone leaned in to cut off pieces of cookie. “You’re hopeless.”

“I’m not ashamed to take credit,” Neil said, grinning. Claire rolled her eyes at that. 

Joe came over with all the presents they’d been hiding in the spare room. 

“You guys,” Claire said. “This is too much.”

“It’s too late now,” Glassman said. “And that’s a good haul. Get to opening it all up.” Claire laughed and Joe handed her the first present. She was very generous with her hugging as she went through the gifts, Shaun being the exception. Some were silly like the A's baseball cap Park teased her with, on Melendez's side about taking Sam to a ball game. Some were practical like the coffee shop gift card from Glassman or the warm socks from Shaun. All very thoughtful and personal, which Claire seemed to really appreciate.

“Last up,” Joe said. He’d conveniently saved Neil’s for last, which hadn’t gone unnoticed by him – or a few other people judging by the furtive glances he’d gotten from Audrey, Morgan, and Alex. He felt kind of weird about his gift now, because it wasn’t a particularly fancy present, just something he thought she’d like.

Claire ripped off the wrapping and opened the box to find a large book inside. She pulled it out and the jolt of emotion had her immediately covering her mouth with her hand to stifle her gasp.

“Oh, Neil.” She pulled out the book and opened it to find pages and pages of pictures and writing and milestones beginning from Sam’s birth to just last weekend.

She’d been meaning to put together a baby book for Sam, and just never got around to it. She even owned one that a friend had gifted Breeze, but she’d stowed it away in Sam’s closet. Neil had found it a few weeks ago and made it his mission to get it ready for her birthday.

“I guess it’s more of a joint gift,” he said.

Even Sam had gotten curious and wandered back over to her from where he’d been plying their friends for more cookie pieces. Claire pulled him into her lap and began showing him all the pictures of himself – mostly with Claire but some with the other people in the room or his friends at day care. He watched her run her fingers over the first few pages where he’d included photos of Breeze with Sam and then all three Brownes together.

“This is …” Claire seemed not to have the words to describe what she was feeling so she took his hand and squeezed it briefly before returning to the book and flipping more pages for Sam. Several over people were leaning in to see the pictures as well.

“How did you even find all these pictures?” Audrey asked. She seemed impressed by his gift too.

“It wasn’t easy, but I have my ways,” Neil joked.

In fact, it had mostly just taken time and a bit of subterfuge in accessing Claire’s computer. That had been a definite perk of their new romantic relationship – since she slept like the dead, he’d had plenty of opportunities to sneak out of bed and take what he needed. Combined with all the pictures in his own collection, he’d had plenty of material. And many of Sam’s milestones were things he remembered himself or had even been present for – his first tooth, his first word, his first steps. So many sweet moments with his favorite people.

Having gotten bored with this game, Sam wiggled down from Claire’s lap and went in search of more cookie offerings. When Neil looked up from the pages of the book to Claire’s beautiful face, his gaze met her beaming smile and misty, bright eyes. Her expression conveyed her gratitude and her affection, a softness he wasn’t used to seeing so openly in front of other people. This moment is why he’d gone to so much trouble and he savored it, knowing that it was the very least he could to for this woman who he’d fall in love with.

He really was hopeless. Claire had been completely right about that.

And when she looked at him like that, how could he not kiss her, and kiss her again, and keep kissing her. Shower her with an affection he never wanted to hide as his hand cupped the preciousness of her face close to him. She returned his kiss, once again taking his hand and gripping his fingers securely.

After a few moments when he’d gathered his senses again, he registered the quiet in the room. Their lips separated with quiet smack and they finally noticed the attention of their friends watching this very public display of affection between them. Audrey and Morgan smirked; Glassman and Debbie and the Andrews grinned; Joe and Dash shook their heads at the sappiness; and Shaun glanced furtively at Park who seemed very amused.

“I knew it,” Park shouted, breaking the silence. “Voting is closed folks and we have a winner. He pulled out his wallet and handed a wad of cash to Dr. Glassman. Both Neil and Claire looked on bewildered as Glassman pocketed the money with a gentlemanly bow. Then the furor began.

“I still think I won this thing last week,” Morgan groused. Melendez was totally checking her out after she dropped by his office.”

“That is not a clear enough example, especially when Dr. Melendez was doing that even before they became a couple,” Shaun explained.

“Well, I’m surprised they held out so long,” Andrews said. “They perfected walking around like lovesick fools for months.”

Neil glared at Andrews who didn't look at all intimidated.

Audrey nodded. “I mean, we all knew when you finally worked things out, but Marcus is right. Claire’s discretion started you out with good odds. But that you went this long without making a spectacle, Neil, is impressive.” He rolled his eyes and ignored her.

“Odds for what,” Neil said, growing more annoyed by their friends' jokes at his and Claire's expense.

“I think they were betting on when we’d start making out in public. You know, given your track record,” Claire offered. She certainly seemed more amused by the conversation than he.

“My track record?” he said.

Neil glanced at Audrey who arched a brow as if challenging him to deny it.

“I knew about you two way before your little performance in the ER, by the way,” Claire revealed to him and Audrey.

“Me too,” Shaun added.

“You did not,” Morgan said. “You two were as snarky as the rest of us about it.” Both Audrey and Neil turned to Morgan who didn’t look at all sorry for gossiping about them.

“I did know,” Claire insisted. “And once I knew, I couldn’t unsee it. I was shocked you two kept it under wraps for so long, although I didn’t expect you to start making out in the ER.”

Audrey crossed her arms, curious. “How did you find out? We were pretty careful."

“Were you?” Claire joked.

"Well, I was," Audrey replied. "I’ve told Neil a million times that he’d be a terrible poker player.”

“It was the little things," Claire explained, "like the fact that you didn’t ride your motorcycle in when you and Melendez were on the same shift. You’d text each other all the time.” Neil didn’t think that sounded very damning. “And I saw you two at the Red Room Bar maybe a week after you got out of the hospital, Dr. Lim,” she said, laughing. “The way you two were going at it, I thought for sure you were gonna get kicked out.”

Shaun nodded. “Claire’s assessment was very impressive when she told me about it.”

Park frowned. “Why didn’t you tell us?” he asked pointing between him and Morgan.

“Claire only told me because I saw them kissing in Dr. Melendez’s car on my way to work and asked her if they were going out. Claire said I probably shouldn’t say anything if they were keeping it a secret.”

“I told you he saw us,” Audrey noted to Neil.

“Fine, we were terrible at hiding our very past, very former relationship. But Claire and I have been good about being professional and appropriate in public.”

Everyone started talking at once.

“No, we all knew,” Park said.

“So obvious,” said Morgan.

“All the signs are there,” Dash added.

Isabel and Andrews nodded. “We knew, of course, since we watched Sam for your first date.”

“Aww, you did,” Audrey said. “That’s sweet.”

“And I knew for sure a few weeks ago,” Park explained. “When we got called in to do that emergency valve replacement at 6 in the morning. I’ve done hundreds of surgeries with both of you, and I know Claire’s coconut conditioner when I smell it. Only one way you had access to that at 5 AM.”

Joe gripped Neil on the shoulder. “And, man, you told me right after it happened.” Claire turned sharply to him, probably wondering what the ‘it’ meant in that scenario.

Neil quickly jumped in to explain. “He’d been on my case, so I told him that things were progressing that day Sam and I fell asleep on your couch and I got called in.” She seemed relieved that he wasn’t bragging to his friends about their sexual relationship, not that he’d ever been one to do that.

Glassman raised his glass to them. “Well, I for one am very happy for the two of you. And I’m happy for myself that you will help pay for a lovely dinner for me and my wife next week.”

“Wait, what exactly was the bet?” Claire asked. “Because if everyone knows we’re dating, what’s there to bet on.”

“It was a bet for how long it would take you to slip up in public. And it’s a good wager. Everyone knew Melendez would give it away.” Most everyone in the room nodded at Park’s explanation, which Neil tried not to take personally since he couldn't deny that they had a point. “I know I joke about Claire being an over-sharer, but she keeps a good secret when she wants to, and she hates people in her personal business.”

Morgan added, “Kevin and I thought for sure we’d get an early slip-up. Some kind of morning or evening tell – a careless kiss goodbye or something. But you guys gave me nothing.” Andrews and Audrey both agreed with that analysis.

Dash nodded. “I bet it’ll be a while before you see Claire break down at work. There are very strict rules in the Claire Browne relationship manifesto.”

Claire scoffed. “What are you talking about?”

“You forget, I’ve known you a long time. ‘Always go dutch on the first three dates. No dumb pet names. Guys who send flowers are lame. No droning on about boring hobbies at meals. And absolutely no PDA in the workplace.’ I can go on if you want.”

“Please don’t!” Claire pleaded, though with amusement in her voice.

“See, that’s why I thought you’d hold out longer,” Park said. “I guess I didn’t account for outside-of-work scenarios.”

“Take it from a seasoned romantic, you gotta look at all the variables,” Glassman gloated. Debbie nudged him in the arm and they all laughed.

Finally, Neil joined in, not really mad at their friends’ silly wager on him and Claire. He was too happy to be upset with them, and he was grateful that their closest friends were happy for them too.

They sat around joking and hearing more ribbing on finally being open about their romance. There were plenty of comments about how they’d circled each other for months and that everyone wanted them to just kiss and get it over with. Seeing the pretty blush of embarrassment on Claire’s cheeks made it worth the trouble.

They eventually moved over to the kitchen to get Sam to eat a proper dinner and not just sugar. Neil worried that their lovely day would be ruined by a sugar-crash meltdown if they didn’t get some protein into him. It turned out that they’d run him around pretty good, and he fell asleep soon after Neil took him upstairs where they'd set up the spare crib. When he returned to the party with the baby monitor in hand, he opened another bottle of wine and handed a fresh glass to Claire. Pouring whiskey for himself, Audrey, and Andrews, he rejoined their relaxed conversation.

* * *

In the early evening everyone started to trickle out to either go home and relax or head out to some other fun Saturday night activity. Claire and Neil worked side by side to clean up as best they could, loading up the dishwasher and wrapping up the small amount of leftover food. Somehow the balloons had escaped from the patio area and were all over the house now, so they gathered those up too. Joe had already organized their presents in the dining room area so they could easily transport them back to Claire’s in the morning.

Once they were done, they crashed on the couch, Claire curled up next to him.

“What an amazing day,” she said, tucked in next to him. “Thank you, Neil. For letting us have the party here and for my surprise. I love the baby book.”

Neil leaned down to kiss her soundly but briefly. “I’m glad. And don’t worry, we’ll do something fun for your actual birthday too. I just thought you might like to join in the celebration since all our friends were going to be here anyway.”

“No, it was a good idea. We all had a lot of fun.” She sighed. "And no one mentioned the Chapman, which I appreciated."

He wrapped his arm around her. "They're upset for you. And like me, probably feeling a little guilty for pushing you about it, though I know it was the right choice to at least try."

"Let's not talk about it, okay? I just want to enjoy the day." Neil nodded and pressed his lips to the side of her head.

They sat side-by-side, the music from his stereo still playing from the party. Claire hummed a familiar tune, watching him flip through TV channels with the sound off. Finally, he turned the TV off completely, not having found anything of interest.

“You tired?” he asked, rubbing her arm.

Claire seemed to think about it. “A little, but mostly I’m okay. I must have gotten a second wind when we started cleaning.”

Neil hummed his agreement. That's exactly what he wanted to hear for what he had in mind.

“Good, because I believe I warned you what would happen after everyone left.”

Looking up at him, Claire seemed confused. Until she remembered their earlier conversation. “Oh, so you’re coming for me, are you?”

“You bet,” he said, wasting no time reaching for her and initiating a deep, satisfying kiss. He'd been wanting to do that for hours.

Neil coaxed her closer until she fully straddled him, and he buried his fingers in her soft, wild hair as he went for a thorough taste of her. By the time he pulled back, he had his hand underneath her shirt and his face buried in her neck, gently nipping at the skin there as he tried to get her clothes off.

Claire giggled at his efforts. “You _really_ love undressing me. I’m starting to wonder if you have a fetish.”

Neil continued to stroke her back. “It’s because you always have such interesting surprises for me underneath your very practical attire.” Sure enough, when he lifted her shirt off of her, he was able to get a full view of her black and red bra. It had some kind of an intricate lace pattern that drew his eyes across her perfect breasts. “And you did not disappoint today.” He licked his lips in anticipation of tasting so many parts of her beautiful body.

He brought his lips to the edge of her bra, kissing the fullness there as his fingers teased the strap. Meanwhile, Claire’s fingers had moved inside the collar of his sweater where she teased the patch of skin at the nape of his neck. Once distracted, she trailed her hands down his chest and torso to unbuckle his belt and get him out of his pants.

Before she could get too far, Neil pulled back. “I think we should take this someplace more … spacious.” They were currently pressed into the corner of the couch, and if there’s one thing he’d learned about Claire, having a little extra room to play went a long way.

Claire nodded and started to lift off of him. But Neil pressed her further into him before gripping her hips and lifting them both up. While continuing to kiss her, he let her grab the baby monitor and then backed them up into the spare bedroom a few steps away.

He planted Claire on the edge of the bed, and she looked around in confusion. “I realize you may not want to carry me to all the way upstairs, but if you’re that eager to have at me, I can walk myself.”

Despite her words, she went back to unfastening his pants, slipping his belt off and tossing it aside before tackling the button and zipper. He shivered as she stroked him through his pants while she worked. He peeled off his sweater to save time and stepped out of his pants once she succeeded in disrobing him. He gently pushed her back on the bed to return the favor and peel her jeans off before climbing back above her on the bed.

“There are two advantages to this room for us,” he explained. “One. It’s closer and I’m very ready to get my hands on you.” To punctuate the point, he gripped her hips, his fingers twitching over the matching black lace panties she wore. He’d be ripping those off her soon enough. “Two. No need to be too quiet when Sam is a whole floor and a few rooms away.”

They both loved Sam dearly, but having a toddler in the house put a damper on showing too much enthusiasm in their sex life.

“Oh, you are very smart, Dr. Melendez,” Claire teased.

“And talented,” he threw back. “Come over here and let me show you.” He reached for her and kissed her deeply, letting his tongue devour her as his arousal took over.

He thought about working around her sexy underwear, but she did have a point earlier. He very much liked to undress her. So, she patiently allowed him to get her naked, touch her, worship her as he liked to do from time to time. He’d trail his fingers across her breasts, grazing a nipple and then following it with his tongue. Or he’d kiss his way from her inner thigh across her stomach and up to her mouth again, slipping his fingers inside her and urging her into her fullest desire.

When he’d give her an especially intense thrill, she’d make this adorable and incredibly erotic gasp of surprise, a high-pitched intake of breath that went straight to his groin. Sometimes, he’d challenge himself to coax that little proof of pleasure out of her as many times as possible. 

He found the sensitive spot along her neck and sucked gently while his hand returned to her breast and caressed her. She moaned his name, his lips trailing along her throat until reached her ear.

“You can do better than that, Claire. I want to hear how special I make you feel.”

“Mmm, so cocky,” she said, pushing up against his and causing a noisy moan of his own.

They played a bit more, Neil continuing to touch her anywhere he could, and Claire taking his request for her to me more vocal to heart. With every whispered approval urging him onward, he felt his burning passion for her build.

“God, Claire, I can’t get enough of you,” he murmured as she moved to straddle him. He grasped her hips tightly as they joined; Claire kindly waited for him to get control of himself before moving again. His mind didn’t quite know where to focus given that she stimulated so many parts of his body at one time. He alternated between watching her rock above him, her sweat-slicked nakedness a show in and of itself, to gripping her wherever he could get purchase, whether at her back, her tempting breasts, or her rapidly grinding hips against him. That satisfied them for a while until Neil couldn’t take any more slow torture and flipped them over.

They fell into an intense rhythm, first as slow and sensual as she’d been with him moments ago. But his body had other ideas as he thrust deeper and harder into her. He picked up the pace, loving the way her gasps became louder and longer, her fingers digging into his back. She pulled him down to her and kissed him hard, letting her tongue plunge into his mouth aggressively in concert with their movements. When she’d had her fill, she moaned in his ear all of the ways he satisfied her, and it drove him to the brink.

Claire surrendered to her pleasure first, his name a plea and a prayer as he watched her come apart underneath him. His only thought as he followed her was that he adored this woman and hoped she’d let him love her like this forever.

They both collapsed, Neil's face buried in Claire's neck as he lay next to her. He felt the vibration of her voice as she continued her soft moans of contentment. He wasn't faring much better as he panted into her shoulder, breathing deeply and savoring the satisfaction they’d given each other. Claire flung her arm across his damp chest and he took her hand, feeling the need to stay connected. When they’d both cooled down, Neil turned to his side and pulled her against him to hold her close.

“That part of our relationship keeps getting better and better,” he murmured into her ear.

She laughed, and he felt her nod her head, not yet ready to test her verbal skills. Instead, she rested her arm on top of his, tracing patterns along his wrist and across the tattoo at his forearm.

Neil felt oddly energized. Being with her like this sparked something in him that wouldn’t extinguish easily. Claire must have felt that same way since after a few moments resting against him, she turned in his arms and peppered small kisses against his throat and shoulder.

“I love it when you’re frisky,” he joked, pulling her fully against him as Claire slipped her leg between his.

“Mmmm, just thankful that the light is low so I can ignore this.” She traced her finger along the side of his tattoo. “You know I hate your tattoo. Way too much antler and that deer is always staring at me.”

Neil laughed. “You’re still freaked out about that?”

“Uh, yes,” she replied. “Because it’s freaky.”

“You want me to put my shirt back on if you’re so bothered?” He made to get out of the bed, but predictably she pulled him back to her.

“Don’t you dare. I’ll just continue to ignore it and enjoy the rest of the view.”

“Smart woman,” Neil replied, cupping her face and kissing her soundly.

They were working up to round two when the monitor activated and they both turned to see the video image of a restless Sammy. Neil had suspected the little boy would have trouble staying asleep. He definitely preferred his own crib to any of his temporary ones. With the feel of Claire in his arms, he hoped Sam would be able to put himself back to sleep, though.

“Poor thing,” Claire said as they listened to Sam grouse, building to a proper whine that would lead to screaming. “I should go check on him.” She gave him a quick kiss and climbed out of bed, putting her t-shirt and underwear back on and piling the rest of her stuff in her arms.

Neil followed, pulling his underwear on and grabbing his discarded clothes too. “We should move upstairs anyway. I’ll turn down the bed while you get him back to sleep.” Claire nodded. He followed her up the stairs where they split off to their respective tasks.

Throwing his clothes in the hamper, Neil went to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face as he did before bed every night. As promised, he turned down the bed and climbed in to wait for Claire to return. He still had the monitor so he flipped it on to see if she was close to getting Sam to sleep.

The video showed the crib empty but he still heard movement and a soft voice. Sam must have woken up and she was walking him back to sleep, which she’d do on particularly difficult nights with him. In fact, he could see her arm coming into frame every now and again as she criss-crossed the room. He was about to set the monitor on the nightstand when he heard her voice come in clearly through the speakers.

“Sammy, you’re being a little diva tonight aren’t you. But it _is_ your birthday so I guess it’s allowed. And you did let your Tio and I have a little bit of fun before you interrupted."

Neil chuckled at her words. And his heart always felt close to bursting at hearing her use the name Sam had taken to calling him in the last week or so. It's the name he often called himself during their one-sided conversations, but he hadn't thought Sam would pick up on it, 'Neil' being an easier sound for him. Sam’s pronunciation sounded more like “Ti” but Neil got the point. Sam as usual marched to his own beat. 

“I hope you had fun today, my love,” Claire continued. “I had a fun time celebrating with you. And Tio got to surprise me too. And all of my birthday wishes were for you to be safe and healthy and happy. You and your Tio Neil who are my favorite people in the world.”

Smiling, Neil gripped the monitor wishing he could see her properly.

“I want you to have beautiful, fun dreams and always remember that everyone loves you so much. We’re so happy we get to play with you.” Then he heard Claire’s bright laugh. “Oh, is that what you think of us?”

Neil wondered what cute thing Sammy had done to draw Claire’s humor.

"I know, I know. Sometimes you do have to put up with your silly C.C. Before you showed up to be my best buddy, I thought my life would be so different. And I sometimes get sad about it. I trick myself into thinking I can do the things I used to do and have the things I'd hoped for before. But I don't need any stupid awards or fancy surgeries or being Chief Resident to be a good person. Now I just want to be the best big sister I can be for you. All that other stuff can wait. It might take a little longer and look a little different than I thought is all. And I'll have you to keep me company," she cooed. "Yes, I will." Neil imagined her nuzzling into Sam and kissing his cheek as she rocked him back and forth. "So, if I get a little gloomy sometimes, it's not about you because you're the best thing in my life. You and your Tio."

It broke his heart to hear her words of disappointment, whispered late at night when she thought no one but baby Sam was listening. He wished she'd talk to him about it. He wished he could give her all the opportunities she felt she was missing. She was too brilliant to settle for less, too special to have regrets for herself or for Sam. He listened to her hum for a few minutes and then put the monitor aside to get under the covers. So much for round two. It sounded like she’d be a while.

A few minutes later, Claire wandered in, a drowsy but still slightly alert Sammy in her arms. “I’m sorry, but he’s really wound up for some reason. I hope he hasn't started having nightmares. I thought I’d lay down with him for a while to see if that helps.”

Neil dimmed the lamp next to him and scooted over to make room for them. “Of course.” He pulled back the covers for her and helped her get settled with Sam against her. The little boy looked lazily at him and smiled before snuggling back into Claire. “Oh, somebody loves their C.C. so much,” Neil whispered and kissed the top of his head. He settled on the pillow next to them and watched as Claire soothed Sam with comforting strokes and words.

It took about 10 more minutes for Sam to settle down and slip back into sleep, but they didn’t dare move him yet, content to lay together and enjoy the quiet night. It was definitely after their bedtimes, but not too late, so they still sometimes heard the sound of a passing car or one of he neighborhood cats scurrying around outside.

“Hey,” Neil said softly to Claire whose eyes darted to his. “I just want you to know that you’re one of my favorite people too.”

“How did you…” But then she spotted the monitor over his shoulder. “You sneak.”

Neil shrugged. “Guilty.” If she worried about him hearing the other things she'd said to Sam, she didn't let on. 

Claire smiled. “I can’t be too mad about your eavesdropping since I was listening in on you earlier too through the monitor while I got dressed.”

“I hope I didn’t say anything embarrassing or incriminating then,” Neil said, chuckling.

“No, you didn’t.” She paused. “Actually, you said something interesting, and I was wondering if you meant it or …”

Neil replayed the conversation in his head as much as he could recall. It’d just been idle chatter for him, nothing of much consequence as they busied themselves. There was one thing that stuck out, though. He hadn’t thought much of it at the time, but lying here now with her, he could see what a big deal it must have been for her to hear it.

“If you mean the part where I told Sam one of the things I love about you, then there’s more where that came from.” Claire smiled shyly, still stroking Sam’s back as they talked softly. “And to leave no room for confusion, I’ll say it plainly. I love you, Claire Browne.”

Her smile blossomed across her face, a subtle softness to her expression so clear despite the dim light. Reaching over to stroke her cheek, he also brushed his thumb lightly across her lips, surprised at the pressure against his skin as she returned his kiss of sorts.

Taking a deep breath, she sighed, happily from the look on her face. “I love you, too,” she replied.

Neil felt his heart burst into a thousand spikes of warmth that spread from his skull to his toes. He hadn’t prepared himself for the power of hearing those words from her, hadn’t thought about his desire and satisfaction at acknowledging the truth of it.

It struck him like lightening, lying here with this woman he could see himself spending the rest of his life with and the little boy who he loved fiercely.

They’re family to him. As surely as Gabi or his parents and certainly more so than the extended aunts and uncles and cousins he only saw a few times a year. He wanted to protect them and share every part of himself with them. Although he knew it wasn’t the right time to tell this to someone as skittish about relationships as Claire, he accepted that he wanted this to be his life.

It’d been a long time since he’d felt this, but Neil had no doubt that Claire and Sam were home to him. And he’d hold onto them with everything he had.

_TBC..._


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter up! I did a lot of editing on the dialogue for this one, and I'm continuing my habit of throwing in as many characters into the mix as possible. Also, I shamelessly stole the balloon-room extravaganza from my grandniece's birthday party (boy, do I feel old saying that, though in fairness, my sister is a lot older than me). 
> 
> I'm really grateful for everyone still keeping up with this story. I'm already having to tweak things based on what I've heard about the new season (mostly tiny things but one kind of big thing). But I'm not going to incorporate anything new unless it's really relevant, mostly because I don't want to have to watch the show to get the details right. Also, I corrected some of the name spellings (Gabi and Isabel) -- sorry about that, I'm usually more careful and will eventually go back and fix those in previous chapters.
> 
> We're in the back half of the story, but the good news is that I've had to split up sections into additional chapters as I'm editing, so there will be a few more chapters than I originally thought. 
> 
> Thanks again for reading. Enjoy!

Claire woke up to the pre-dawn glow slipping in through the window. She lay motionless with her eyes closed, unwilling to start her day just yet. Neil remained sleeping, his soft snoring beside her a comforting rhythm. She turned to watch him for a few moments as he breathed soundly on the other side of the bed.

He was so beautiful to her.

And beautiful not just because of his perfectly toned body, which she enjoyed quite a bit.

Her eyes swept across the parts of him on view for her now. The sheet had slipped to his waist to reveal the full contours of his chest, the deer tattoo with its creepy, vacant stare pointed at the ceiling. She smiled to herself about how that had become such an inside joke between them. He’d also kicked one of his legs out from under the blanket up to his strong runner’s thigh, pale from the winter months of covering up.

Yes, he was lovely to look at. But when the thrill of her initial attraction faded, underneath was the steady presence of a man she had no doubt adored her. Who respected her and accepted her with all her complications and responsibilities and contradictions. She could still hardly believe it, even with the evidence lying right next to her. And for the first time in her life, she let herself welcome that affection and return it fiercely. Being terrified didn't make her any less determined to hold on to their connection – her former boss and mentor, turned the best of friends. And now a lover with whom she could actually imagine a future.

A future that included Sam.

From his relaxed expression, she could tell he remained deeply asleep, his eyes twitching every so often and his soft lips rested in a gentle line. If she reached over to stroke his cheek, she’d feel the scratchiness of the facial hair he’d shave clean before starting his day. His hand rested beside his pillow almost reaching for her.

Last night, after a wonderful day celebrating Sam – and unexpectedly celebrating her too – they’d settled in for the night with the extra company of a cranky one year-old for a while. Neil had waited patiently for Sam to fall asleep enough for Claire to put him back in his crib. And when she succeeded in moving Sam and returning to his bedroom, he was waiting for her with a predatory grin. She recognized his expression as the promise of a quieter but more thorough repeat performance from their earlier lovemaking downstairs.

Though she’d never admit it, he’d worn her out.

Claire smiled thinking about how quickly she’d gotten used to waking up in the middle of the night with his arms around her or vice versa. They’d usually fall asleep cuddling and at some point retreat to their different sides of the bed. Both were used to sleeping alone – or for Claire, minding a toddler who sometimes wouldn’t sleep unless he was right next to her. It would take some time to change their habits around that. And it was rare for them to spend the night together at his house, so they hadn’t quite figured out how to negotiate around each other in the new surroundings.

She checked the time and regretted having to get up. But Sam would be awake soon, and her days went much smoother when she got a jump on things before he woke up demanding attention.

Checking the monitor once more to see Sam still sleeping, Claire finally slipped out of bed. She used the spare bathroom to wash up so as not to disturb Neil and then went downstairs to make coffee and get Sam’s breakfast ready. It took a little longer not being in her own kitchen, but she had to admit that she loved the peacefulness of Neil’s home and lingered every now and then to enjoy the brightening day through all the glass windows.

They didn’t spend a lot of time at Neil’s place since packing a whole bunch of stuff for Sam seemed like too much trouble. Not to mention that Neil lived in a pristine, grown-up house with tons of stairs and sharp edges that were a nightmare to childproof – he’d told her so after he and his friend Joe had to completely rearrange things for the party. Her place may seem “cozy” next to his, but it had all the things they needed, and Neil didn’t seem to mind coming to them.

Her phone buzzed as she sat at the kitchen bar sipping her coffee. Who could be texting her this early in the morning? When she saw the sender – and the message – she started laughing.

Dr. Jared Kalu, former co-resident, ex- boyfriend (sort of), and now her long-distance friend.

_‘So I heard this happened…’_

Below the text was a picture of yesterday’s party – specifically a shot of her and Neil right after she’d opened his present for her but before he’d kissed her in front of everyone. She had Sam on her lap, holding him in place as he tried to turn the pages of the book himself. Neil sat closely next to them, his head tilted to the side as he beamed down at her. They were gazing into each other’s eyes, their affection open and revealing for everyone to see. It was actually a really nice picture.

Even though they hadn’t worked together for almost two years, Jared never passed up the chance to tease her when he found out some nosy detail about her personal life.

Claire really liked that they’d stayed friends after their surprisingly emotional breakup and his move to Denver. Even before her mom was back in the picture, they’d talk or text semi-regularly. She’d vented to him when Neil had kicked her off his service and about the short tenure of Dr. Han as the Chief of Surgery. One of Jared’s colleagues had worked with him before, so he’d given her some advice on navigating the situation. He’d even sent a present after she’d been harder to reach leading up to the arrival of a surprise baby brother.

And likewise, they talked through him getting used to his new residency program and the boring fellow residents he worked with. They’d brainstormed different ways he could shake things up and settled on weekly resident poker nights that made him quite popular. And Claire liked to think she’d kept him from totally screwing up his long-distance relationship with the former patient he’d started seeing before he left. As far as she knew, the two of them were still going strong.

She hadn’t heard from him in a couples months, though, outside of a hastily forwarded journal article. They’d both been busy.

 _‘What are you doing up?’_ She texted back to him, still grinning about him poking fun at her.

_‘Monitoring a patient. You’re the only one I know who’d be up this early. And don’t change the subject.’_

_‘How did you find out about Sam’s party?’_

_‘I have my sources.’_

His sources? That meant one of her former co-residents.

_‘You are so nosy!’_

_‘Hey I lost money. I demand some answers at least.’_

Another image popped up that captured her and Neil's kiss. They were oblivious to everyone around them, including Sammy who looked thoroughly confused by their behavior. Her little brother was probably the only who who hadn't been wagering on them.

Park! She couldn’t believe he’d looped in Jared on their silly bet. She immediately sent back an ‘unamused’ emoji. It did make her wonder about something as she typed another response to him.

_‘It must be weird to see that.’_

Jared had always been pretty easy going, but the romantic part of their relationship had always been awkward. And even though he and Neil had cleared the air before he left, there was baggage there too.

_‘Totally weird … Melendez’s sweater is so 2018. You really need to talk to him about that.’_

Claire giggled. She missed his dumb sense of humor. Another message followed when she failed to respond right away.

_‘Oh you mean our ex-boss making out with my ex-girlfriend who looks like she doesn’t mind at all? Not weird at all. Everyone knew it was coming.’_

_‘You did not!’_

_‘I did so. I was just off by two weeks. I thought your birthday would stir up some PDA hormones.’_

_‘Park is in so much trouble.’_ Jared texted back a devil emoji.

 _‘Did you get my present for Sam?’_ Jared had sent an adorable but annoyingly noisy play set.

_‘Yeah, but I might not let him play with it. You’re the worst’_

_'You’re welcome! And where is your special guy this morning.’_

_‘Still sleeping for once. I’m getting his breakfast ready.’_

She checked the monitor again, but Sammy still appeared to be knocked out. Looking at the time, it surprised her that he was sleeping in. He must have really been worn out by the party and then the restlessness of not sleeping in his own crib.

_‘That’s so cute and domestic. And is Sam still sleeping too?’_

Claire did not find Jared’s string of emojis – winking, laughing, and kissy-face ones – as funny as he probably did.

_‘So I have some big news too.’_

He sent another image, this time a picture of him and his girlfriend, Celez, showing off an engagement ring.

Claire forgot her annoyance and almost yelped before remembering the two sleepy-heads upstairs. Instead she squirmed excitedly on her stool for a few seconds and replied with a string of heart eye emojis and kisses.

_‘Jared that’s awesome! I want details!’_

_‘I asked she said yes …’_

_‘Lame. I want REAL details. Let’s FaceTime this week. When you’re not with a patient.’_

_'Yeah I want to hear about Sam’s birthday and how long it took for Melendez to jump your bones after everyone left.’_

_‘Uh no.’_

There was a long pause as she waited for his reply.

_‘Are you happy Claire?’_

She thought about the question. Remembered the bittersweet moments they’d spent together on his last day at St. Bonaventure. At the time, she’d been so mixed up about her emotions, full of regret at how she’d handled their relationship and second-guessing her choices. But Jared had been the calm one when she'd usually play the role of the rational, steady partner to his more sentimental nature.

And then her thoughts turned to how much she’d enjoyed yesterday surrounded by her friends and Sam and Neil. Really, she considered the past nine months to be pretty extraordinary, watching the people around her come together to support her in ways she’d never experienced in her entire life.

Claire typed back a confident response.

_‘Yeah I am. Very.’_

Even with the setbacks and sacrifices and string of difficult days and nights, she felt no reservations or hesitation in accepting this happiness.

_‘Good. Me too. I told you so.’_

She laughed again, recalling his last words to her that night. That they’d both be very happy one day. It made her a little misty to think about it. Jared in Denver about to start a new chapter in his life. Her still here in San Jose with the sweetest little boy and the loveliest man upstairs sleeping peacefully as she waited for them to join her for the new day. She was okay with Jared gloating a tiny bit about that.

_‘Gotta go. Patient’s waking up. Tuesday night maybe?’_

Claire mentally checked her schedule and nodded to herself. _‘Sounds good. Talk to you then.’_

She shook her head, amused and delighted to start the morning with good news and a fun conversation with an old friend.

Prepared as much as she could be for Sammy’s breakfast time, Claire went back upstairs to check on him since she could see him squirming around on the monitor. Sure enough, she caught him starting to stir as she walked into the room. He turned his head sleepily toward her as she came in, and then sat himself up to reach for her.

“Hey there, my love,” she cooed softly to ease him into wakefulness as she pulled him from the crib. “Did you have a good sleep?”

As usual, when he wasn’t fully awake, he burrowed into her, clutching her shirt with a slobbery hand. Claire walked him to the other side of the room to open the curtains and then took him over to the bed next to where they’d set up his spare crib. She went about changing his diaper and humming to him as he became more alert. He kept darting his eyes around the new room, especially the leaves waving in the wind beyond the big windows that took up most of the wall.

“You like that big tree? It’s going to be a nice day today so we’ll get to play outside again. And we’re going to go visit Neil’s sister, Gabi, and you can make a new friend.” Sam looked back at her as he chewed on his knuckle, seemingly interested in this plan for the day.

Claire, on the other hand, was nervous. Neil had tried putting her at ease, but it’s a big deal to her to meet someone so important to him. She wanted to make a good impression. And she was excited too. Even talking to Gabi over video, Claire could tell how sweet she was and how much she adored Neil. Maybe she wouldn’t have understood fully before Sam came into her life, but she could appreciate their special bond now. She looked forward to seeing it in person and sharing in the fun they had together.

Neil had been honest with her that Gabi could take some time to warm up to her as she did with other close friends of his in the past. But she also had a head start if Gabi had teased Neil about her being his girlfriend.

Claire smiled again thinking about that story and Sam smiled back at her, a little more awake now.

“You ready to take on the day, little man? We can go downstairs and play with balloons until you’re ready for breakfast.” At hearing one of his favorite words, he perked up and tried to roll off the bed to get there right away. “I don’t think so, buddy.” Claire caught him and picked him up to carry him down the stairs herself.

She let him play in the patio area-slash-balloon room for a while as she drank her coffee and listened to the morning news on her phone. When he crawled into her lap finally, she knew he was ready to eat and took him into the kitchen to warm up his meal. The kitchen bar was a little too high to maneuver around so she set them up at the dining room table. As she settled with Sam on her lap and a bowl of oatmeal and fruit, Neil wandered into the kitchen looking deliciously disheveled as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

“Sammy. Captain.” Claire rolled her eyes at his dumb pet-name. He kissed both her and Sam on the top of the head before joining them at the table. “How long have you been up?” he asked as he sat down.

“Just a little while. We played in the balloon room for a little bit before breakfast.”

“That must have been fun, Sam.” He turned his head mid-bite at hearing his name, getting oatmeal all over his cheek. He flashed a messy grin at Neil as he chewed his oatmeal. “Oh, look at that face,” he tutted at the little boy. “You are a mess.” He flipped up Sam's bib to wipe the extra food off his cheek. Looking over at Claire, Neil smiled softly. “You sleep okay.”

Claire tried not to reveal too much of her intense pleasure and satisfaction at how they’d spent their night. “I did. Your bed is very comfortable.”

“Even more so with the right kind of company,” he replied.

She chuckled. “I bet you say that to all the girls, Melendez?” She fed another spoonful to Sam to hide her amusement.

“Hardly. I was talking about Sam’s company, anyway,” he joked. She reached over to shove him in the arm and they both laughed. “You want to grab a shower while I finish with his breakfast?”

“What time are we leaving to visit Gabi?” She’d lost track of time hanging out with Sam for their leisurely Sunday morning.

“Not for couple of hours. She has her own morning routine that I don’t like to interrupt. So, I figure we could head over after she’s done with breakfast and her morning walk.”

“Okay. Then I’m fine with him for now. Maybe you can make us some breakfast afterwards while I get him dressed? I’ll shower after we eat.” Sam had his own kind of routine and breakfast time was their special thing. Until recently, it was rare for anyone else to even be around so early, and she liked spending that time with him.

“Sure,” Neil said, agreeing with that plan.

He sat back with his coffee, and they made idle conversation with Sam as he happily gobbled up his breakfast. When they moved on to the fruit part of the meal, Neil disappeared upstairs and she heard the sounds of him in the shower. By the time Sam finished eating and they’d gone back upstairs to clean up, Neil emerged from his bedroom dressed for the day and clean-shaven. He popped his head in the bedroom to tell her he’d make them some omelets while she wrangled Sam.

Sam’s usually sunny disposition took a turn when she insisted on him wearing shoes. He’d made a fuss and put up a mighty fight, which Claire let him win, carrying him downstairs in just his socks. Seeing Neil offering her a full plate at the kitchen bar, she put Sam down and let him run to Neil so he could pout about his mean sister and her shoe bullying.

“Hey,” Neil said, feeling Sam grab his leg as he took a bite of his own omelet. “What’s going on here?” He peeked down at the little boy and the items in Claire’s hand. “Shoe wars?”

“Yep. He’s so annoyed with me.” She sat at the bar and admired the simple breakfast he’d made for them – her favorite cheese and green onion omelet with a side of yogurt. Neil was half-way through eating his, which was a good thing given Sam’s demand for his attention.

“Balloon room?” Neil asked.

“Probably for the best,” she answered as they carried their plates to where Sam was leading them.

After eating, they sat around playing with the balloons and a few of Sam’s new toys. When Sam seemed in a better mood, she left to shower and dress herself.

Now alone with her thoughts, the nerves and doubts started to creep in again about meeting Neil's sister. She'd been so preoccupied this morning that she her imagination hadn't had time to run a marathon of horrifying and embarrassing scenarios until now.

 _'Today is going to be amazing,'_ she told herself in the mirror before meeting Neil and Sam downstairs, dressed and ready to go.

Maybe if she repeated those words enough times, she could conjure it into reality.

* * *

They decided to take Neil’s car for their visit to see Gabi, and packed all the things they’d need into the back seat. Neil took over the task of strapping Sammy in since he’d gone into a terrible tantrum with Claire again about his shoes, this time Claire prevailing.

Sam stewed silently during the ride. Claire had fallen into silence too as her nerves took over.

Neil glanced at her as they waited for a light, frowning a little at her discomfort. “I know it’s not helpful for me to tell you again not to be nervous. But it’ll be fine. Gabi is looking forward to the visit. It’ll be like having a second party.” They’d even brought a few balloons and some of Sam’s cake so Gabi would feel as if she’d been a part of the celebration. 

“I know. But it’s a big deal. It’s like a ‘meet-the-parents’ kind of moment, and I’ve never really had one of those.”

Neil chuckled. “Never?”

“Not officially, anyway.”

“Visiting with Gabi won’t be like that. And you’ve already met her. You weren’t nervous then.”

“That’s because it was just a fun video call.”

He was right though. She’d been mostly amused when he called her while visiting Gabi, his sister insisting on meeting this baby he kept talking about. It’d been fun, and she and Gabi had even joined forces to poke fun at Neil.

“And this will be a fun in-person visit. We’re just going to paint or play games, whatever Gabi is up to today. And she’s excited to play with Sam. Trust me, it’ll be good.”

Claire nodded. “You’ve set the bar so high with Sam. I know how much she means to you. I want to be able to spend time with her, too.”

Neil reached over and squeezed her hand. “I appreciate that. I don’t want to sound dismissive. I know it’s a huge change for you too. But you'll be great. I don’t know if things will be perfect from the start, but it’ll be okay.”

She sighed. If Neil could be optimistic about this then she could too. 

They arrived at the beautiful residential property that served as Gabi’s home, a stately house on a fairly large piece of land. Neil had explained how much he’d researched to find a place that would meet his high standards. His parents had let him oversee the selection process and ultimately agreed with his choice, even if the expense of it felt beyond what they could imagine. They wanted the best for Gabi too, so they’d all put on a positive face for their loved one who didn’t understand why she had to leave her home.

He’d been so solemn when he’d told her that story. It was still hard for him to deal with what he saw as letting his sister go, even when he knew it was for the best.

It took a bit of time to gather all their things and move inside. Sam seemed subdued but no longer grumpy. Or at least he didn’t protest when Claire unhooked him from the car seat and took his hand so he could toddle to the front door. Neil checked them in with the staff and they directed him to the patio area where Gabi usually settled after a morning walk with her friends.

Claire took a deep breath and focused on Sam who wanted to veer off in every direction based on some new exciting thing he’d see as they walked. Though it seemed tempting to stall so she could settle her nerves, Claire instead picked Sam up so it wouldn’t take them all day to make it to the back patio.

When they arrived, Gabi sat with paintbrush in hand and her supplies next to her on the table while a woman beside her appeared to be writing something in a notebook. Her whole demeanor changed when she spotted them.

“Neil!” she shouted as they approached. Before she could dislodge herself from the table, Neil was by her side, kneeling down to give her a big hug. Their delight brought a grin to Claire’s face and cut through some of her nervousness. A few steps behind Neil, she joined them with a curious Sam still in her arms.

“Gabi, I brought Claire and Sam like I promised. Are you up for us bringing the birthday party to you today?”

Gabi turned her attention to Claire and Sam and smiled shyly. “Hi Claire. Hi Sam.”

Claire returned the woman’s smile. “It’s nice to meet you in person, Gabi. Sam is just learning to say hello, so if you wave, I think he might wave back.” She demonstrated the cute way they’d taught Sammy to greet people. Gabi looked very intrigued by this mission and began waving at the little boy. “Sammy, you wanna say hi to our new friend, Gabi?”

Sam turned his attention to Gabi and grinned at her, immediately matching her waving motion. “Hi Sam,” Gabi repeated. With a little prompting, Sam finally launched into a string of sounds that mostly sounded like “hi.” His excitement made Gabi laugh.

“He’s very cute,” she said.

“It looks like you two are good friends, already,” Neil said, watching quietly and with a softness to his expression as the scene played out. He turned to the unknown woman next to Gabi. She’d looked up at them when they approached, but went back to her writing. “And who’s your friend? You want to introduce us?”

“Oh, yeah,” Gabi said. She tapped the woman on the shoulder to get her attention. “This is Theresa. She lives here, too, now.” The woman waved and smiled. “Theresa, this is my big brother Neil. He has a girlfriend with a brother too. Their names are Claire and Sam.”

“It’s nice to meet you, Theresa,” Claire said, bouncing Sam at her hip who seemed to be enjoying the presence of new people.

Neil stood and waved to Theresa. “Gabi gives the best tours in the whole house, so I’m sure she’s been a lot of fun.”

“She even showed me the best writing spot in the garden,” Theresa said brightly.

“The one by the fountain?” Neil asked. Gabi nodded. “That _is_ a good spot. Now that it’s getting warmer, we’ll have to do some painting out there.”

Gabi’s eyes widened. “Yes! We can paint the flowers.”

“You bet, Kid,” Neil said.

Theresa looked past them at a few people walking down the hallway inside. She stood up with her notebook and pushed in the chair. “Miss Allison is about to read stories in the library. I’m going to go listen.”

“Okay,” Gabi said, returning to her picture.

Claire looked to Neil before sitting down in the chair Theresa had vacated. “I’m so happy we get to have another party to celebrate our birthdays with you,” she said. “We brought cake and even a few balloons. They’re Sam’s favorite.”

Gabi looked interested and Neil pulled out their offerings – a corner of Sam’s balloon-themed birthday cake and a few actual balloons they’d stuffed into a bag. Neil released them into the open area of the patio where they bobbed and settled a few feet away. Of course, this set off Sam who scrambled out of her lap to go chase them.

“Uh oh,” Neil said, standing quickly to supervise the little boy’s excited tackling of the balloons.

Gabi laughed. “He really likes them.”

Neil stood at Sam’s side as the little boy sat and pushed around the two balloons closest to him. “Gabi, you want to tell Claire about how you helped with her gift?”

Claire turned from watching Neil and Sam to the smiling woman next to her. “Neil let me pick out pictures for your book! And he said I can have a camera so I can make my own book.”

“You did?” Claire replied, now even more touched by Neil’s gift and that he’d included his own sibling in putting it together. “Gabi, I loved my book so much. And so did Sam. I hope you'll let us help with pictures for when you do your own book. Your gift is the most special thing anyone has ever given me.”

“Really?” Gabi said, a little shy but also proud to hear that her gift had been well received.

“Absolutely, Claire confirmed. “It’s almost as nice as your painting that we put it up in our hallway. Now I see it every time I come home.”

“Neil said you like blue and purple pictures. You want to see my new painting?” She scooted over so that Claire could get a better look.

“Oh, this is so pretty. It looks like a sunset.”

Gabi nodded. She picked up her brush again and continued working. Claire wasn’t sure if she should comment or let Gabi concentrate on her project. She’d hoped to take her lead from Neil.

Right on cue, Neil peeked over their shoulders to check out his sister’s newest artwork. “Hey, Gabs, you want to paint a picture together? If I can tear this little one away from his balloons, I think we could get into some fun.”

Gabi didn’t say anything, only nodded as she reached across the table to lay out a clean piece of paper next to her. She dug into a canvas pouch and pulled out more brushes to lay next to her paints and the rinsing cups.

“You and Sam can start this one,” she said, gesturing to Neil who’d guided Sam back over to the table.

Neil glanced over to Claire and laughed. “You mean, Claire gets to help with yours and I don’t? I can’t believe you’re kicking me off the job already!”

Gabi frowned. “You’re too messy.”

“Well, I’ll be in good company with this one,” Neil said, sitting down and pulling Sam into his lap.

Claire panicked a little. “Are you sure, Gabi? I’m not as good as you at painting. I don’t want to ruin your pretty picture.”

Gabi nodded again. “They’re gonna do a boys picture and we’ll do a girls picture.” She pushed her current picture aside and pulled out a clean piece of paper. “You wanna do butterflies?”

Still very apprehensive about the venture but pleased to be on Gabi’s good side, Claire smiled. “Butterflies will be fun. But don’t be surprised if mine are a little funny looking,” she added. Gabi giggled and handed Claire a brush. 

Claire stared down at the blank paper and paints, figuring out her best plan of action. She’d never really done anything artistic in this way and hoped she didn’t embarrass herself too much. She tried to remember Neil’s advice to just have fun. And Claire reminded herself that the whole point was to enjoy time with Gabi and that’s what they were doing. She dipped her brush in the water and went in for the orange paint first.

It quickly became clear what kind of painting skills each of them had.

Sam, as expected, started making the biggest color bomb he could as Neil helped him grip the brush. Soon, he’d surely try dipping his little hands straight into the paint, and Neil had already armed himself with extra wash cloths and wipes.

Gabi dove into the blank page with her brush, creating a burst of shapes and then filling in the colors she wanted – blues, purples, and a little bit of black. It was fascinating watching her bring life to her picture, the butterfly taking shape and form as she worked.

Claire’s technique was more tentative and careful as she concentrated on creating as realistic a butterfly she could muster. And failing pretty miserably. She frowned down at her sad, indecipherable blobs of orange and brown paint.

“What have you got over there, Browne?” Neil teased, helping Sam sweep a new color across their already messy paper. “Is that a jack-o-lantern? A traffic cone?”

She rolled her eyes, but grinned. “I’m clearly not done yet. You just worry about keeping Sammy clean over there.” As soon as she said it, Neil blocked Sam’s little hand from dipping into the rinse cup. “And no one is going to match Gabi’s picture. Your butterfly is beautiful!”

“Yeah, Gabi,” Neil agreed. “This is even better than the picture you made last week.”

Gabi smiled. “Thank you.” She studied Claire’s “butterfly” and giggled at its awfulness. “I can help you make a butterfly like me.”

“I’d love that. Obviously, I could use some help. And not from your messy brother.”

Gabi agreed, flashing a playful glance at her brother. Neil pretended to be offended, which made them both laugh. Gabi reached for Claire’s brush and dipped it in the yellow before giving it back to her. Then she put her hand around Claire’s and guided her along the paper.

“It’s easy. You make two hearts like this.” They traced out one heart and then another with the points at the bottom connecting to make the wings. Then Gabi helped her paint a long single stroke to make the butterfly body.

Claire glanced up at Neil, expecting to see his teasing humor at his sister having to teach her how to paint. When their eyes met, though, the significance of the moment struck them unexpectedly, the two of them with their siblings – Neil guiding her brother’s hand as his sister guided hers.

They shared a special smile between them. And then he winked at her. A non-verbal 'I-told-you-so.'

“See, like that,” Gabi said, oblivious to the emotions swirling around them as she released Claire’s hand to finish her part of the picture. Neil returned his attention to Sam who’d squeezed his hand from Neil’s to swirl wet paint around on the paper with his fingers.

“Gabi, thank you. This is way better than mine already.” She tried to follow Gabi’s example and fill in the wings with more heart patterns and then add some dots and swirls to make it interesting.

Meanwhile, Sam had gotten a little crazy with his painting activities, now using both hands to smear paint across the picture. “Whoa, pal. Slow down,” Neil warned. A noise from the yard then caught Sam's attention and he pointed out to where a squirrel was rustling in a nearby tree.

“Uh oh. You better get at his hands now before he takes off,” Claire warned.

“Already on it,” Neil said, reaching for the wipes and cleaning up Sam’s hands before he could make messes out of the both of them. Sure enough, Sam gestured to get down so he could go run around in the open yard.

“I can take him,” Claire said, resting her brush down. “That way you and Gabi can spend some time together.”

She stood up to retrieve the shoe Sam had pulled off while playing with the balloons – probably on purpose. She knelt down to put it back on before Neil let Sam go, causing another round of grumbling. When she reached for him, Sam turned away and clung to Neil.

“Still mad, huh?” Neil said, laughing. “Come on then. Let’s go find a squirrel.” He placed Sam on his feet and then grabbed his hand as the little boy took off in the direction of the rustling sound.

Claire returned to her seat and continued working on the butterfly picture. Again, she wasn’t sure if she should make idle conversation. Neil had said that sometimes he and Gabi would chat while they visited and sometimes they’d sit quietly while they did a puzzle or read a book together.

“How’s that?” she asked Gabi after working on adding some orange and black to her butterfly.

“Better,” Gabi said, nodding. She’d already started on her fourth butterfly for their picture, each one a different combination of colors that fit together perfectly. She really did have a lovely artistic eye.

Claire started a new butterfly the same way Gabi showed her. Neither said anything and the silence stretched between them as Claire ran through a list of potential conversation starters to break it up. Even though she felt a bit awkward, it was important to make an effort to get to know Gabi and not depend on Neil to always be the go-between. Claire didn’t want either of them to think that Gabi’s special needs were a big deal to her.

“Neil told me that you like puzzles and games. Do you have a favorite type of puzzle you like to do?”

Gabi seemed to think about it. “I like puzzles with animals. Mom and Dad got me one with cows. I like that one best.”

“That sounds cool.”

“I like doing my puzzles with Neil when he visits.”

“He likes it too. When Sam is old enough, you’ll have to help us pick out good ones for him that we can do together.”

Gabi nodded. She rinsed off her brush and started adding little details to her newest butterfly. “Neil tells me stories about you and Sam.”

“Not the embarrassing stories, I hope!” They both giggled.

“When I helped with the pictures, that's when he told me.”

Claire reached for the purple paint with her brush, but Gabi shook her head and pointed to the red. Claire took her suggestion and noticed immediately how much better that color worked with her butterfly.

“Did you see the picture of Sam covered in ice cream?” she asked, laughing to herself at the memory of it.

They’d been sharing ice cream from a bowl she'd placed on the table while they played – and then forgot about. Half an hour later when she wasn’t looking, he reached for the spoon and tipped the entire bowl of melted ice cream onto his head. Even covered in goo, he kept trying to lick it off and offer her some too.

Gabi's laughter joined hers. “That happened to Neil too when we were little.”

“Yeah? How did that happen?”

Even though Neil had started to open up more about his family, he didn’t talk much about his childhood, not even the happier memories. So much about the way he'd grown up seemed complicated. She could understand that being just as guarded about her past. Maybe that could be something they worked on together.

“Mom and Dad had to work so Neil took me to the park. We got ice cream cones. But he fell down and his ice cream got all over his face.”

Claire chuckled along with Gabi. “Oh no! What did he do?”

“He had to use his shirt to wipe his face and then he had chocolate all over his shirt. I called him Sticky-Face.”

She couldn't wait to poke fun at Neil for this. “That sounds a lot like what happened with Sammy too. Those messy boys, right?”

“Yes!” Gabi said laughing harder.

They looked up to see Neil still chasing after a wandering Sam who’d moved on from hunting the squirrel to running from tree to tree.

“You want to go join them? We can take a balloon and play catch.”

Gabi thought about it for a second and nodded, scooting out of her chair and picking out one of the balloons. “We can let the paint dry while we play.”

When Neil noticed them walking toward where he and Sam were bent over a bed of flowers, he grinned with delight to have them join.

“Hey, Kid, you ready to run around?” Gabi nodded at her brother and threw the balloon at him.

Sam now noticed their presence as well and pointed to the flowers while pulling at Claire’s pant leg.

“You want me to see the pretty flowers, Sammy?” The little boy babbled and squatted down again to run his fingers over the pants he could reach. Claire squatted down with him and picked one of the flowers so he could feel the leaves and petals. It seemed to fascinate the little boy as Claire carefully guided his hands over the different surfaces.

Meanwhile, Neil and Gabi tossed the balloon back and forth, Neil sometimes smacking it up high so she could try jumping up to reach it. Eventually, Sam noticed the game and quickly lost interest in the flowers in favor of the balloon. He handed it to Claire and took off running toward the other two, Claire following close behind.

Neil, ever the romantic, snatched the flower from her fingers and tucked it securely into her hair while kissing her cheek. Before she could react, he ran past her to rejoin the balloon toss.

"Thanks, Sticky-Face," she called out.

Neil paused, mid-throw. "Gabi! How could you?"

"It's funny," she said, shrugging, and stole the balloon from him to give to Sam. Neil chased after her to tickle her for the sneaky move.

They spent the rest of their visit passing the balloon back and forth and then Gabi gave Claire and Sam her famous tour of the garden, including the special spot by the fountain. They returned to their spot on the patio, now with a few more people occupying the other tables. Sunday tended to be a popular visit day, and Neil said hello to other family members he’d come to know over the years. The paint had dried on their pictures and Neil helped Gabi clean up the supplies while Claire gave Sam his lunch.

The two Melendez’s retreated to drop her things back off in her room and returned a short while later with lunch for everyone else. Usually, Gabi ate in the dining area, but she’d make an exception sometimes when Neil would visit. And surprisingly, Sammy remained content to sit on the floor with the balloons and his new block set so that the rest of them could eat together.

After lunch, Neil cut them all a piece of cake. Gabi insisted they sing happy birthday again – for both Sam _and_ her, which Neil happily joined in.

When Sammy started to get a little more subdued, that signaled a nap for the little boy in the near future. Neil caught her eye and nodded, realizing it as well.

“Hey, Gabs, it looks like Miss Tina is getting ready for the puppet show you told me about. You want to say goodbye to Sam and Claire and I’ll walk you over there?”

Gabi looked through the window where they could see a few people walking toward the library for the afternoon activity. Theresa waved at them before disappearing down he hallway.

“Thank you for letting us have a second birthday party, Gabi” Claire said. “I hope we can come back again.”

Gabi looked sad at hearing that, and Claire worried that she’d said something wrong and upset Neil’s sister. She glanced over to Neil for guidance.

“Hey, Kid, look at me. You’re going to have way more fun after we’re gone. And the pictures we painted together? You get to look at them in your room, and it’ll remind you of our visit until we come back again.”

Nodding, Gabi stood up and gave Neil a big hug. “Oh, I know, I’ll miss you too,” Neil confessed. “But I’ll see you real soon.” Claire stood too, now holding a sleepy Sammy in her arms and rubbing his back. The Brownes and the Melendez’s a picture of sibling love and devotion.

When she finally released Neil, Gabi came over and also gave Claire a big hug. She took Sam’s hand and wiggled it, making him grin.

Claire hugged Gabi in return, squeezing her as tightly as she could with one arm. “Sammy, you gonna say bye-bye to Tia Gabi?” she prodded. He wiggled his hand in a lazy wave, murmuring a sleepy ‘bye-bye’ from where he’d snuggled into Claire’s neck.

“Bye Claire. See you later.” Gabi took the hand Neil held out and let him lead her inside. Claire and Sam waved again when they spotted the two in the window heading to the library.

“Well, that was fun, wasn’t it Sammy?”

She jiggled the little boy in her arms, both to amuse him and to keep him awake a little longer. He’d definitely fall asleep in the car on their way back to Neil’s house, but if they could hold off a little more, then he might settle in for a good long nap once they returned. That would avoid an evening of crankiness.

“You wanna carry one of the balloons back to the car?” she asked.

Hearing his favorite word again, Sam scrambled down and grabbed one of the balloons. Claire put the other one back in the bag and hid it in one of the chairs so Sam wouldn’t go looking for it. They’d already cleaned up after their meal, but Claire put their trash in one area and double-checked that she hadn’t forgotten anything in re-packing Sam’s bag.

Neil returned a short while later looking pensive but happy. Saying goodbye between visits was hard on both him and Gabi.

“You okay,” she asked, resting her hand on his arm.

Neil smiled at her. “I’m good. You know how it is.”

Claire did. She felt it every time she walked away from Sam, whether it was at the nursery or in the care of a trusted friend. Even when she knew in her head that Sam was in the best hands possible, it still hurt her heart to leave him.

Instead of trying to find the right words to console him, she simply put her arms around his waist and reached up to plant a soft kiss to his lips. He relaxed against her, enveloping her in a tight hug. Before either could get carried away, she released him and went to stop Sam from running back out into the yard with his balloon.

One of the staff appeared at their table to take away the items they’d used for lunch, waving Neil away when he offered to return them to the dining room. They must have known each other for a while since they chatted casually about her family and baseball as the three of them made their way back to the entrance.

She and Neil didn’t speak much on the ride home, Claire trying to keep up a string of chatter and song with Sam to keep him awake as long as possible. Neil joined in occasionally, but mostly focused on his driving or his private musings. As they rode along a stretch of freeway, he let his hand rest on Claire’s leg, her hand joining his when she wasn’t gesticulating at Sam. The distraction worked until about five minutes from the house when he conked out in the middle of Old McDonald.

“Not bad,” Neil said, pulling Sam from his seat carefully when they arrived.

They brought their things inside and Neil went upstairs to transfer Sam to the crib. By the time he returned downstairs, Claire had already plopped down on the couch, tucking her feet underneath her as she checked her phone. Neil sat down next to her and put his feet up on the coffee table.

“We might need a nap too,” Claire said, leaning her head against Neil. He re-positioned his arm to settle across her shoulders as they made themselves more comfortable.

“No kidding.” Claire took his hand to pull his other arm around her. Neil didn’t protest. “It was a good day, though.” He kissed the side of her head. “You were great with Gabi. She told me she had so much fun with you and Sam. She talked about what we could do next when you visit again."

Claire finally let herself relax. “I’m glad to hear that. We had fun too. You were right.” Neil smirked, feeling so smug that he didn't even need to say anything about it. “Don’t go getting used to hearing that from me.”

“I’d never be so insensitive,” he claimed, dryly.

‘Speaking of ‘I told you so’s,’ I got a text from Jared this morning with a picture of us from the party yesterday.” She reached for her phone and showed it to him. “Apparently, he was in on the bet too. He picked my birthday and was very put out at being off by two weeks.”

Neil laughed. “Did Park send this to him real time or something? It's a cute picture, though. Our friends are something else.”

“They really are. And he told me he got engaged too.” She showed him that picture as well.

“Is that the patient he pawned off on Shaun so he could date her? The one with the burns that he jumped through hoops to get treatment for?” He shook his head, but grinned. It was exactly the kind of romantic gesture he lived for.

“Yeah. From that crazy wedding party accident when I had the brilliant idea to 3-D print a femur out of titanium. How’d that work out again?” she pondered in jest.

Neil and Shaun’s patient had required additional surgeries, but it appeared as if their treatment had tested new ground for orthopedic surgery. They’d worked with a specialist afterward to advance the technique for even better results.

Neil squeezed her shoulder, running a soothing hand along her arm, probably realizing the simultaneous devastation she still felt about the patient she hadn’t saved that day.

She remembered going to Neil first when the grief counselor Glassman forced her to see urged her to talk to someone about her anxiety. As a boss, Neil had been tough on her then, sometimes cold, even. But she trusted him. And he’d always been straight with her. When he'd initially ignored her, she’d felt even worse about the situation and believed that he'd written her off. As she lingered at his door, though, he’d recognized what she needed and encouraged her to carry on, not linger over her mistakes. That continuing to do the work was part of the job. And he’d been right.

That seemed like a million years ago.

“I still don’t think your ego can handle me telling you directly how brilliant you are.”

“My ego?” Claire responded, aghast. Neil grinned at her and she pinched him playfully in the side. “Whatever, Sticky-Face."

Neil rolled his eyes at her. "Don't push it, Captain."

Claire giggled, and settled more comfortably against him. "It was nice to hear from Jared. The last thing he said to me when he left was that we would both be happy someday. And we are.”

She turned her head up to meet his gaze and smiled shyly at him. He leaned down to kiss her slowly, not looking to escalate anything, just offering the soothing comfort of his adoration.

“That _is_ nice. And I guess I can forgive you for sneaking texts with your ex-boyfriend first thing in the morning.” Claire pinched him again, but Neil ignored her and kissed her once more.

"You sneak texts to your ex all the time, so you're not one to talk." Claire grinned at that come-back.

Neil scoffed. "You mean answer texts from both your boss and mine? Then yes, guilty. What are you going to do about it?" He let his hand wander from her shoulder and down her back to finally rest on her hip. Once there, he pressed her closer to him suggestively.

Instead of a snappy response, Claire yawned. “Maybe a nap does sound like a good idea right about now,” Neil offered. He maneuvered them so that they could recline together on the couch, Claire securely in his embrace.

“Mmm, yes, much more comfortable,” she sighed. Neil rubbed her arms absently as she rested her hand against the warmth of his chest.

“You need a blanket?” he asked. Claire smiled at the drowsiness in his voice.

She squeezed him and snuggled in tighter, letting him know that he’d do just fine to keep her warm. “I’m good.” She felt the breeze of his laughter across her skin.

No more words were needed as they drifted off together, comforted, satisfied, and loved.

_TBC..._


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies again for the delay! The last month has been nonstop at my day job, which involves a lot of writing and meetings and zooms and craziness.
> 
> Fortunately, I'm in the middle of a long break until the new year, so I've been back at it. After this chapter I'll have the next three up in a day or two and then there's a better than average chance that I'll be finished with the whole thing by the end of the weekend.
> 
> Thanks to everyone who's been sticking with this. I really appreciate it.

Neil flipped through a new batch of lab results on his tablet, brow furrowed in concentration.

He’d gone back and forth about whether he should pursue a complex surgery on an 81-year-old patient with a tumor. Many of his colleagues would characterize the mass as inoperable, but he and Murphy saw a few possibilities that could work. He’d decided to check in with Glassman to get a second opinion.

It occurred to him that if he decided the surgery was worth the laundry list of risks, he’d have to pull one of his residents from the ER to assist. Maybe they’d bring in Reznick for the surgery. She’d had an interesting procedure with Andrews cancelled at the last minute yesterday. So she’d probably be be eager to join them, especially with Park assisting Lim for the rest of the week. Murphy had gone to get the patient settled back in after finishing the tests and imaging they needed, and it bought them some time to go over all the options carefully.

Neil checked his watch. How had the day gotten so late without him noticing? A long night didn’t appeal to him, so they’d proceed in the morning no matter what. He made a mental note to touch base with Claire after talking with Glassman. Maybe Sam would hold out an extra half hour for his bath time. He’d missed the last two days and didn’t like the idea of another one with no quality time for the two of them.

Thinking about Claire and Sam instantly lifted his spirits, a ghost of a smile pulling at the corner of his mouth. He’d gladly gotten used to that spark of happiness at the mere fleeting thought of his partners in crime.

He and Claire had created a loose routine, not a strict schedule but a habit of checking in and negotiating to make sure they were able to spend the time together they enjoyed. While that overwhelmingly centered around Sam and sometimes Gabi, Neil tried to also give Claire moments of attention to let her know that each of his relationships with them were special.

It’d been a challenge not to make his gestures seem too romantic, though she indulged him on occasion when he couldn’t help himself. There hadn’t been too many complaints when he surprised her with a massage after her back-to-back three-hour surgeries. But she did poke fun at him for setting up a candlelight dinner one night after she’d gotten Sam to bed.

It hadn’t at all deterred him from spoiling them. His mind drifted to what he could do tonight to make up for the last few missed connections. Then he spotted Shaun rushing toward him to join the meeting with Glassman.

“Mr. Mukherjee is resting, and his vitals are normal. He didn’t ask about the surgery so I didn’t talk about it.”

That was good to hear. With things so up in the air, he wanted more time to explore the few options they had before going back to the patient.

“Good. We’ll see him after we talk with Glassman. We’ll know a lot more then.”

Shaun nodded. They reached the elevator and stood in silence as they waited for it to arrive.

“I saw Claire on my way back. She seemed excited about a surgery that Lim just approved.”

“Oh yeah?” Neil’s eyes remained on the scans.

As they walked into the empty elevator, he wondered if this case was the same patient she’d mentioned the night before. She’d already put Sam to bed when he’d stopped by, but he’d had time to help her go through Sam’s things to find items for the daycare clothing swap. She’d been so animated explaining the case while they worked.

Shaun didn’t respond. The elevator doors opened and they turned in the direction of Glassman’s office. 

“I like that you and Claire are together.”

Neil did look up at that. It seemed a very random thing to say. Not that he’d thought Murphy disapproved or anything. But as nosy as his other co-workers were about his relationship with Claire, Murphy remained the least likely to bring it up.

“Uh, thanks. I like that we’re together too.”

Shaun smiled. “It reminds me of me and Lea. We were friends first and then we became lovers.”

Neil’s steps faltered in surprise at the admission. “Okay. I don’t remember giving you those kinds of details about my relationship. I know you all had a little bet going but—”

“You didn’t have to say anything. It was very obvious. You were in a much better mood after you—”

“Sure. I guess,” Neil interrupted before Shaun could elaborate. “Can we not talk about this anymore.” Claire and Sam’s birthday party had more than enough workplace nosiness for him. He had no desire to go down that road again.

“Okay,” Shaun replied, unbothered. They reached Glassman’s office, but the door was closed and his receptionist, Matty, signaled for them to wait. “It’s nice to see Claire happy,” Shaun added, looking away.

“On that we can agree,” Neil said chuckling. He passed the scans over for Shaun to study and checked his phone for any urgent messages before going into the meeting.

“Dr. Melendez, did you not like it when I referred to Claire as your lover? Would you prefer if I called her your girlfriend even though you’ve never called her that?”

Neil glanced over at Matty, very uncomfortable with this line of conversation that Shaun was supposed to have dropped. Ever the professional, Matty pretended not to hear them, even though he could see the amusement in her eyes.

Glassman’s door opened and Andrews walked out looking annoyed. Seeing Neil and Shaun waiting, Glassman waved them in also not looking very amused with whatever conversation he’d been having with Marcus.

Shaun strolled into the office, but when Andrews passed by Neil, he stopped him.

“Hey, I wanted to ask you about something when you have time. I’d appreciate a consult. No rush since I’m out for the next couple of days, but maybe when I get back.”

The situation seemed a little strange. It wasn’t like Marcus to be so cryptic, and he wasn’t the kind of guy to ask for consults very often. He usually used the daily team check-in to get a second opinion on a case, and they’d had one over the lunch hour. Maybe something had just come up.

“Sure. If you’re still here after Glassman and I figure out if I’ll be prepping a surgery for tomorrow, I’ll drop by.” Marcus nodded and left, still tense and irritable.

Neil shook it off. It wasn’t his problem. At least not yet. He had his own problems that he still needed to work out. 

When he walked into the office, Shaun had already taken a seat across from Glassman and Neil joined them.

“Did Murphy give you the basics,” Neil asked.

“You mean the basics of what you should be calling the person you’re dating then yes.”

Neil rolled his eyes. “Isn’t there anything else people at this hospital want to talk about?”

“No. You’ve been here long enough to know that. And I think there’s nothing wrong with the term girlfriend. It’s timeless and clear.”

“I like girlfriend too. And I like it when Lea calls me her boyfriend.”

“Good to know. Now can we get back to medicine?” His response was part irritation, part amusement.

Glassman signaled for them to explain their predicament. He and Murphy laid out the case and all the factors. Shaun was in favor of the surgery, but Neil wanted to be cautious and Lim too, which is why they suggested Glassman take a look at the file. After batting ideas back and forth, they decided that there were ways to do the surgery safely and pull out in a hurry if they needed to. He agreed to join them for the first part of the surgery to supervise.

He and Shaun stood to leave, but Glassman called Neil back.

“Stop by the ER and fill in Reznick,” Neil instructed Shaun. “Have her work with scheduling to see when we could get the best neurosurgery O.R. nurses for tomorrow morning. I want you to outline the surgical protocols, but we’ll go to the patient together when I get back to the lounge. I want to handle this carefully.”

Shaun nodded and left the room with a wave to Glassman.

Glassman waved back and motioned for Neil to take a seat again.

“Has Dr. Browne mentioned anything about the Chapman lately.”

Neil groaned. Not this again.

“No, we haven’t talked about it since the finalists were announced. She tried not to let on, but she was pretty disappointed. I almost feel bad that we pushed her so hard, but I still think she should have been selected, so I don’t regret it.”

“I know what you mean. I don’t want her to miss out on any opportunities because of her unexpected circumstances.” Neil nodded. “I only mention it because we just got a pretty good idea of who the winner is and Andrews is not happy about it. I wouldn’t put it past him to stage some kind of coup over it.”

That explained Andrews’ cryptic message. “Is that what you were talking about before we got here? He said something about wanting a consult later, but it sounds like he’s got something else in mind.”

Glassman flashed a look that Neil couldn’t quite interpret. “Consider this fair warning.” He shuffled a few files on his desk. “How are things going with you and Dr. Browne?”

Neil tried not to grimace. Was everyone intent on being in his and Claire’s business?

This kind of thing was one of the biggest downsides of an office romance, although the benefits were pretty great – he got to see Claire and Sam more than if she worked at another hospital, and they could drive in and leave together if they wanted. Even though Claire was way stricter about keeping their romantic relationship out of the workplace than either Jessica or Audrey, she had her compromises.

He’d never admit it to her, but she probably had a point. He’d been bad at hiding his affection for her when they were just colleagues. If she allowed him free reign, he'd be insufferable.

“Things are great.” He wasn’t sure if the question was casual or if it was leading to something. Glassman seemed to leave it at that, though.

“Good. And I think you’re wise not to call Dr. Browne your girlfriend. From everything I know about her, I don’t think she’d like it.”

Neil rolled his eyes. As if he didn’t know that already. It wasn’t exactly in the romantic category, but she’d classify it as mushy and juvenile. They’d actually never talked about that kind of thing, and it didn't surprise him that it hadn’t come up before. They’d been too busy actually being in a relationship and minding a toddler to spend a lot of energy on titles.

“Thanks for the unsolicited advice,” he said getting up. “I’d better get back to it,” he added.

Glassman rolled his eyes but grinned. “You have certainly come a long way since that young punk I hired back in the day.”

Neil laughed. “Trust me, if my current batch of residents is any indication, karma has paid me back tenfold. I’ll keep you updated on the surgical schedule,” he explained, backing out. “After we talk to the patient, I’ll get a team together, hopefully for tomorrow morning. He’s stable and I think it would do him some good to have the night to let this plan settle in.”

All this talk of Claire – he even sounded like her right now.

He should have been annoyed with his co-workers, except their persistent ribbing showed that they cared about the both of them. And having an excuse to think about the woman he loved throughout the day wasn’t the worst thing in the world.

When Neil turned the corner to his office, he spotted Shaun in the lounge having an animated discussion with the very object of his thoughts. Claire mostly nodded at her friend’s excited explanation as she indulged him, probably listening to the details of the exciting surgery they were preparing for. After she spotted him coming through the door, she smiled and returned her attention to Shaun.

He walked up the two of them and looked over the notes Shaun had begun organizing on his laptop. Realizing that he should probably be doing more planning and less talking, Shaun nudged him out of the way and continued typing.

Turning to Claire, he looked her up and down enjoying the view. After all, he could look all he wanted according to her 'no touch' rule.

“Captain? What are you doing over here?” He hoped the warmth in his voice conveyed his delight at seeing her since she’d rebuff any PDA attempts.

“Looking for you,” she said, barely masking the flirtatiousness to her words despite her mock irritation at him using his nickname for her in front of other people. He refused to be denied every fun thing between them. “I need a favor.”

Neil motioned for her to follow him to his office. If it was anything remotely personal, he didn’t want to do it in front of anyone who’d use it as fuel for gossip, even if good-natured.

When the door closed behind her, she moved to the couch and he leaned against the back of a chair to stave off the temptation to casually touch her.

“So, what’s this favor? And more importantly, what do I get in return for granting such a request?”

Claire grinned at him, shaking her head. “Nothing that would put you in a compromising position, I assure you. So don’t expect anything too dramatic.”

Pretending to look put out, Neil startled at the buzzing of his phone. He held up a hand to indicate that he needed to take the call.

“Dr. Reznick? What have you got?”

“I’m down in scheduling, and it looks like there are three surgeries on the roster already tomorrow. The day's booked up until about 4:00. But there’s an opening in a couple of hours if we want to take it.”

Neil thought about the options and whether they could wait. Tomorrow morning would be ideal, and with the patient stable for the time being it might not be the best idea to tempt fate. He didn’t want to put it off for another 24 hours. Besides, there was no guarantee that the 4:00 opening would stay that way if complications arose in the other surgeries.

“Do it. We can be ready then. And call up to Matty and have her check Glassman’s schedule too.”

“I checked already. He can make it, but he’s got a committee call tomorrow afternoon that Matty says he’s not going to want to cancel. So, I think today is our best shot for a full neuro team.”

“Alright. Lock it in, and then page me so we can update the patient.”

After hanging up, he noticed Claire tapping on her phone, answering messages of her own. Barnes had been trying to give her more responsibility, probably to soothe the sting of getting passed over for the Chapman.

“Sorry about that. Let’s get back to this favor that’s going to put you in my debt.” He didn’t have a lot of time to playfully banter with Claire, but he could spare a few minutes while Morgan secured the O.R. and Shaun continued outlining their plan.

Smirking, Claire put her phone back in her pocket. She wiped her presumably nervous hands against her pants. Now Neil was really curious about what she had in mind. It wasn’t like her to be so hesitant.

“Is there any chance you could pick Sam up from daycare after work and hold down the fort for a while? That case I told you about last night? Dr. Lim said I could scrub in, but it’s scheduled for 6:00.”

Neil’s heart sank. She rarely asked him for something like this so directly. Sure, she’d mention some circumstance and he’d offer to help, or she’d ask him for little things like to pick up something or take over keeping Sam entertained while she took a phone call or checked on dinner. But she rarely outright asked him to tend to Sam this way and certainly not so she could participate in something work related. This was major for her. 

She picked up on his disappointment, and it killed him to watch her excitement deflate.

“I just had Morgan book an O.R. for an opening tonight. I’m so sorry, Claire. Otherwise, I would have jumped at the chance to spend some guy time with Sam tonight.”

Claire smiled a little at his description of hanging out with Sam without her.

“It’s fine, Neil. I knew it was a long shot. It’s been so busy lately.”

It actually hadn’t been busier than usual, but he could tell she was trying to hide her own disappointment.”

“Can Isabel maybe take him for a little bit? I should be done by 7.”

She shook her head. “No, she and Andrews are going out of town for a couple of days.”

Right, he's such an idiot! He’d forgotten, even though he’d just seen Andrews.

“Park is on call,” she explained before he could ask.

“And the daycare beta shift?” The hospital daycare center technically had 24 hour service, but they were strict about how many kids they could have there at one time.

“Already full.” She seemed slightly annoyed now. Of course, she would have checked that first. “Really, it’s fine.” She moved toward the door. “I need to check in with Lim and let her know though.”

“Wait,” Neil called after her. He couldn’t let her leave on such a sour note. He wouldn’t be able to hug her or even hold her hand, but he could at least offer some sort of encouragement. “I’m sorry. Really. You know I’d be there for you if I could.”

Smiling weakly, she did take his hand and squeeze it, releasing him before he could respond and hold onto her. “I know, Neil. This isn’t the first time my schedule with Sam has been an issue, and it won’t be the last.”

Neil thought about commenting on how unfair it seemed. But he needed to be supportive, not remind her of all the bad stuff she already knew.

“Can I at least tell you something funny before you leave?”

Claire sighed, exasperated with his optimism. She remained in front of him, though.

As with so many moments, he ended up staring at her, mesmerized by her beauty and grace. She didn’t let anything keep her down for long. Already, he could sense her mood turning away from what she couldn’t have and toward the responsibilities that awaited her. He'd come to admire so much about her over the years.

She crossed her arms. “Well?” He’s pretty used to that challenging look from her by now. The one that said she’s amused but also has limited patience for his mushiness.

“When we should have been talking about our patient’s surgical plan, Glassman and Murphy decided to have a spirited discussion of why I shouldn’t call you my girlfriend.”

Claire looked suspicious. “I don’t believe you. Not Glassman.”

“Yes Glassman,” he nodded, grinning.

“What is there to even talk about?” she asked, genuinely mystified.

“Apparently, the consensus is that you wouldn’t like being called my girlfriend.” He paused, unsure if he should actually share what’s on his mind. “We’ve never really talked about that.”

Claire seemed to ponder the topic. Neil was glad to see her as confounded as he’d been on the issue. “Hmm, I guess I’ve never thought about it.”

“What do you say when people ask?”

“What do you mean ‘when people ask?’ We see the same people, and everyone already knows.”

“Okay then if someone were to actually ask. Someone who doesn’t know. How would you describe me?”

“Today, I’d say you’re my favorite pain in my ass.”

“Ouch!” he said, chuckling. “At least I’m your favorite.”

“That _is_ a pretty big deal.” She laughed along with him. “What do _you_ tell people?”

“I refer to you as the woman I’m seeing.”

He could tell by the way she scrunched up her nose that she wasn’t impressed. “I guess it’ll do.”

“You have a better idea?” he challenged.

Claire tilted her head, thinking about the options. “Well, I can confirm one thing. Please don’t call me your girlfriend.” She rolled her eyes to emphasize the point.

“We can always go with Shaun’s suggestion to refer to you as my lover.”

“That sounds like him alright,” she chuckled. “But yeah, that’s almost always going to be inappropriate.” Checking her watch, she moved toward the door. “Mission accomplished. That was an entertaining conversation. But I know you have a surgery to plan for and I’ve got things to do too. So, I’ll think about it and let you know.”

Neil again wanted to reach for her but restrained himself. Yet he couldn’t resist one last parting shot. “Any contenders I should know about?”

Claire grabbed the door handle. “How about I call you my ‘fella’ as a placeholder. She flashed a wicked smile at him as she opened the door. He loved that smile.

“Does that mean you can be my ‘gal?’” he tossed back in return. Claire shrugged, waving goodbye as she pulled the door shut behind her and turned toward the hallway.

Neil shook his head. Things were certainly never boring with Claire. “That’s my gal,” he tested out, then laughed at himself. He stared after her for a few beats until she disappeared around the corner.

He knew they were essentially just starting out, but he could think of a few more official and permanent names that he’d like to use with her. All in good time.

Heading back to the lounge, the sound of his door opening again caused him to pause. This time it was Andrews with his jacket and briefcase in hand.

“I’m heading out, but do you have a second?” Andrews asked.

He really didn’t, not after he’d indulged in that bit of banter with Claire to cheer her up.

“I just got cleared for a surgery so I need to get on it. Is it quick?”

“Yeah, it’s quick.” He stepped fully into the room but didn’t put down his stuff, which was a good sign. “Glassman mentioned the Chapman thing?”

Neil didn’t really want to get into it with Marcus now over that. It’s not like he was going to talk to Claire about it, especially after her missing out on the surgery she wanted today.

“Yeah, he did. I don’t think it’s a good idea to go stirring that pot. And I’d appreciate it if you and Isabel didn’t bring it up to Claire. She’s already had a rough day and doesn’t need the reminder.”

“No, I wasn’t going to say anything. I get it. I know I pushed her last time. But there are changes I’m thinking about suggesting, and I wanted to run it by you. That’s the part that can wait. In the meantime, think about it. Claire should have been in the running and we all know it. And we know what got in the way. It’s not right.”

Marcus’ concern about the whole situation seemed a little surprising. It’s not like he’d had a particular interest in the fellowship before. Then again, Marcus did hate to lose, and he’d firmly backed Claire in that particular contest. Also, he knew Marcus and his wife had been trying to have kids, so maybe he had a soft spot for what he saw as discrimination against caregivers in the selection process.

“I get it. I’m grateful for your support and I know Claire is too. I’ll give it some thought and we can talk when you get back.” Looking next door, he saw that Morgan had finally arrived and was going over something on Shaun’s laptop having to do with the surgery. “If you’ll excuse me,” he said, effectively dismissing Andrews.

“Yeah, of course. See you next week.” Andrews checked his watch and cursed softly under his breath before running out.

As he stepped into the lounge, Neil let himself linger for a moment on what an odd afternoon he’d had. And then he focused on the two doctors in front of him and the surgery they needed to prepare.

_TBC..._


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the first of 3 updates that should hopefully get done today - interspersed with some cleaning and baking. They required a lot of cross-editing among them and with other chapters in the story, so a huge feat (and minimal cliffhangers). And I had to figure out if/how much to take the new season into account. 
> 
> As I've mentioned, I started this story after season 2 so we're hitting the stretch of a lot of that original idea and the first parts I wrote, which has been fun. All this to say, enjoy, and thanks for reading!

Claire sat reading through a journal article during lunch when Isabel Barnes slid into the seat in front of her.

She hadn’t seen Isabel in a couple of weeks, not since she and Andrews had gone out of town, though she wasn’t sure the occasion. She wouldn’t have been surprised to hear of some impromptu romantic getaway.

Isabel and Andrews always struck her as this modern-day power couple, but they were surprisingly conventional. Outside of work, Andrews was a doting husband who appreciated his independent wife. Isabel was the supportive partner who relied on her more regular schedule to prep dinner for them to make together. It’d be sickeningly perfect if they didn’t make it seem so sweet.

And they were great with Sam. She’d learned from Isabel that they’d both come from large families. They grew up with lots of cousins and had quite a large squad of nieces and nephews. She’d confided in Claire that it had created a lot of pressure on them to have kids when they were building their careers, although they’d finally gotten on the same page in recent years. Currently, they were making a go of it with IVF. It hadn’t been easy, but Isabel remained optimistic about it.

“Hey, what are you doing here?” Claire made space for Isabel at the table. She wasn’t carrying food, but she had a rather large cup of coffee in hand.

“I’m glad I saw you over here. I’m supposed to be meeting up with Marcus, but he’s stuck on a conference call or something. So now I get to catch up with you.”

“He’s still on that call?” Claire asked. “Things were slow on my rotation, so he’s letting me scrub in on a surgery in a few hours in exchange for doing his scut work this morning.”

Isabel laughed. “Always the negotiator. How are things lately?”

Claire thought about how to answer. Should she lead with work stuff, unless maybe it’s a question about Sam. Or Neil. Doctor, guardian, lover – everything seemed to be fair game lately with her friends. She still wasn’t used to these very different identities constantly jockeying to be the priority.

She decided to start with work stuff. “Things have been okay. I’m excited to scrub in on Dr. Andrews’ surgery. I’ve been stuck with a string of small-time stuff on top of my regular patients – lancing boils, biopsies. I almost jumped for joy at getting a hernia repair last week. I can’t wait to get my hands dirty with something interesting.”

“You surgeons,” Isabel said, chuckling. “Such a strange breed. The gorier the better for your kind.” Claire didn’t bother denying it. Isabel took a sip of her coffee and paused before continuing. “I know your plans had to change some, but it must be exciting to start your fifth year of residency soon.”

Shrugging, Claire placed her fork onto the plate, having finished her salad. She’d mostly made peace with the fact that she’d have an extra two years tacked on to her residency to receive the certifications she needed.

“It’s hard to believe. Sometimes it feels like just yesterday that I started and also a million years to the finish line.”

“Have you thought at all about what you’ll do after that? Maybe move to a different hospital or extend your residency with another program?”

“I think Shaun is going that route but when I’m done, I can’t imagine wanting years more of this. No, I think I’ll bow out. And who knows what’ll happen. There will be a lot of competition for a limited number of spots here, and I know I’m at a slight disadvantage.”

Isabel shook her head. “I wouldn’t be so sure of that. Claire, you’re an excellent doctor, and it’s not unusual for new surgeons to come in with family responsibilities. That part will probably be easier. And it’s to your advantage being off-cycle for the regular residency program. You actually don’t have competition. Losing you will feel like a staff downgrade.”

“I hope you’re right,” Claire said. “I worry about what my options will really look like.”

“I know you have more considerations than most people. You’ll figure it out when the time comes. You and Neil both.”

A smile inevitably appeared on Claire’s face at the idea of her and Neil mulling over that kind of decision together. It still amazed her to think of them being a long-term couple.

“Look at that smile,” Isabel said, grinning herself. “You two are so adorable. He’s the exact same way whenever anyone mentions you, you know.”

“Of course he is. He’s the biggest sap around.” They both laughed at that. “I caught him trying to make me breakfast in bed last week. Except he’s not used to getting up before me and Sam – who he woke up in the process and ruined the whole surprise. You know he does that stuff on purpose thinking he’s funny, but he won’t break me.”

“You are too much. Let that man spoil you!”

Claire shook her head. “It’s a slippery slope. Next thing you know we’re wearing matching track suits and calling each other dumb pet names.”

“Well, you don’t have to worry about that because there is no way Dr. Neil ‘GQ’ Melendez is going out in public in a track suit.” Claire giggled at the thought of it. “Though he does seem like the pet name type, so you’ll have to watch out for that anyway.”

“I’ve dodged that bullet so far. He does have that annoying habit of calling me ‘Captain’ but that predated the dating part of our relationship. I swear, if I hear the word ‘baby’ come out of his mouth and he’s not talking about Sam, we’re gonna have words.”

“Claire, you’re no fun.”

“This coming from someone that I _know_ has a stream of pet names for her significant other.”

“I have nothing against romance, unlike some people. I will let Marcus pamper me as much as he likes.”

“Is that why the two of you skipped town a couple of weeks ago.”

Isabel looked thoughtful. Claire wondered if she’d inadvertently stumbled into something awkward. She remembered Isabel’s aunt was having health problems, so maybe they’d been tending to that.

“It was part vacation, part family stuff. I’ll have to tell you all about it over a real lunch.”

“Absolutely. Let me know when you’re free. If Neil doesn’t end up on call this weekend, we can go get pedicures while he takes Sammy to the park. We could join them for lunch. Maybe even convince Andrews to picnic with us?”

“Marcus loves picnics, so the jokes on you.” Claire filed that under I’ll-believe-it-when-I-see-it. “Seriously, though, I’ll pencil you in, and you can let me know if you’ll be able to swing it. I know things can change at the drop of a dime around here.”

“That’s for sure.”

They looked down at Isabel’s phone, vibrating against the table as a new text came in. “It’s Marcus. He just got off his call. Gotta run.” She stood up and pushed in her chair, as she typed a message back to him. “Text me when you know your schedule.” She waved and weaved her way around the tables to head up to Andrews’ office.

Claire pulled out her phone and checked what she had on her schedule for the rest of the afternoon. If she got a coffee to go, she could finish up her charts and round on her patients before she needed to get ready for Andrews’ surgery.

The last thing she did before carrying her tray to the disposal area was note her tentative weekend plans on her calendar so she wouldn’t forget. And she put a reminder for tonight to ask Neil about his schedule – if she managed to get a word in before he jumped her bones. Their schedules had been a disaster for the past week, and he’d told her this morning that he had sexy plans for her later.

As Claire made her way back to her office area, she considered a few items she could change into after work that would really drive him crazy. She’d enjoy watching him squirm thinking of what she had underneath her grubby toddler playtime clothes as she they spent the evening with Sam before his bedtime.

If he made it through dinner without suggesting something salacious, she’d really give him a reward for his perseverance.

Smiling to herself about the possibilities, she refocused her train of thought to get her mind back on work.

* * *

Claire had just finished scrubbing in when Andrews raced into the O.R.

She hadn’t heard of any emergency, so his tardiness confused her. The only warning she’d received was a hasty text to get the patient prepped without him. She’d never had reason to doubt Andrews’ professionalism, but he certainly didn’t look like someone in a good mood. She wondered if he and Isabel had gotten into an argument or something.

Nevertheless, before long they were in the rhythm of the surgery with Andrews peppering her with the occasional question. It was a tough abdominal procedure that involved a lot of maneuvering and a good eye to prevent any unintended injuries to the intestinal track. Every move involved quick thinking, steady hands, and a lot of stress management.

It felt absolutely exhilarating.

They hit a tricky moment when neither of them could identify the origin of an abrupt influx of blood into the surgical site. Claire suggested they coordinate to reach around the small intestine to get at the source of the bleed. It required a speedy repair, on which Andrews let her lead, and then they were back on track. Twice more they encountered problems – a brief but dangerous drop in blood pressure and an adjustment to the anesthesia. By the end of the surgery, they were both a little on edge but optimistic that their efforts would be successful.

Claire joined Andrews at the sink after seeing to the patient’s ICU transfer and shedding her surgical gear.

“Good work in there, Browne. I appreciated your quick thinking and creative problem solving.”

Claire tried not to smile too much at the compliment, even though she felt herself bursting with pride. She didn’t get tricky surgeries like this much anymore. It made her feel so alive to ride those ups and downs and rely on a confidence in her skills to get the patient through a life-or-death situation.

Moments like this were such a high that she wanted to experience over and over again. It made her eager for the next cut, the next life-saving procedure where she ended up with sore feet and a strained back, hands covered in blood while she’s wrist-deep in a patient’s chest cavity. She wanted to feel the triumph of doing everything humanly possible to fix her patients and put them back together better than before – or take every measure possible to save their life even if ultimately the battle is lost. There’s nothing in the world better than that.

And then she’d feel guilty for thinking such a thing when she had Sam to come home to.

“Thanks, Dr. Andrews. It’s always a pleasure working with you.”

Andrews shook his head but didn’t respond. Claire didn’t know what to make of that.

“As soon as the patient gets settled in, check her vitals and report back to me. There’s something I need to check on before we wake her up.” He dried his hands and marched out of the O.R. like a man on a mission.

Claire briefly wondered again what was going on with him before being interrupted by the nurse wanting sign off on some paperwork. Claire finished up and headed out to see the patient.

An hour later, Claire received a request from Dr. Andrews to meet him in his office. The summons struck her as unusual since she’d just seen him about a half an hour earlier when they’d done all the post-op checks on their patient, now resting comfortably.

Since all she had left to do was a write-up for that patient's file during the last hour of her shift, she headed straight to his office, curious and a little nervous about why he might want to see her.

After talking with Isabel this morning, it reminded her of how different her relationship with Andrews was from this time last year. They had worked together regularly before she’d changed her surgical residency, but they hadn’t been particularly close. She’d describe it more as a professional relationship of mutual respect.

Now that she’d settled into her new fellowship status, she hardly worked with him at all, given that he almost exclusively handled the most complicated cases that were no longer assigned to her. Except for the surgery she’d assisted on a few weeks before, she couldn’t even remember the last time they’d shared a patient beyond her passing off a consult. If she weren’t good friends with Isabel, she’d rarely see him outside of the occasional case hand-off or chance encounters in the café.

Although she recognized him as an excellent surgeon, they’d probably both admit that their styles didn’t always mesh. His skepticism about Shaun in the beginning of her residency had bugged her, although he’d come through in a big way eventually. He’d also struck her as a bit power-hungry that seemed to go beyond mere ambition and professional confidence. Keeping the chief of surgery position after taking over as president hadn’t been a good look. Yet, she’d come to appreciate the way he’d humbled himself to return as an Attending after getting fired for defending Shaun.

One of the reasons she’d been so pleased by Andrews’ praise earlier is that he had never been one to openly compliment her skills. He’d called her too passive and then chastised her for standing up for herself. Despite being in a job that relied on them helping out strangers every day, he’d called her self-righteous for defending a patient who’d been severely injured for being a good Samaritan. It almost pained him to admit the guy was a hero, even as he went above and beyond to fix the patient's injury. At least he had apologized afterwards.

And ultimately that’s why Andrews didn’t bother her so much – he generally held himself accountable for his choices and outlook on life. And she liked him way more as Isabel’s husband than as her boss.

While she and Andrews were on good terms now, Claire had become pretty close to Isabel. Ever since they’d connected about potentially joining a private practice after her mother’s death, they’d gotten along well. They’d had a bumpy start too after that misplaced tumor incident involving Isabel's patient. Luckily, she wasn’t one to hold a grudge.

So when they started hanging out, Andrews was a part of that package deal. It had been awkward at first, but they’d warmed up to each other. He played so well with Sam, too, who rarely grumbled when Claire left him with the couple. Andrews had even promised to teach Sam how to swim in their pool, having spent many summers in his teens teaching classes at the neighborhood youth center.

She had no idea what Andrews could possibly want with her, though. When she arrived at his office, she figured there was nothing else to do but knock on the door and get to the bottom of the mystery.

Andrews waved her in and scribbled something in the file in front of him. She glanced over at her old residents' lounge and noticed it was empty as was Neil’s office.

After she closed the door behind her, he motioned for her to take a seat. Isabel was there as well.

“Hey, I didn’t expect to see you again so soon. Did you mention our weekend plans yet?”

She noticed that Isabel’s demeanor had turned more serious from earlier, matching Andrews’ sour mood.

“No, I hadn’t gotten to it. I wanted to check with you about—”

Before Isabel could finish, her phone pager went off. She pulled out her phone and swore under her breath. “One of my patients is having a severe allergic reaction to something, and they can’t get access to her medical history. I need to go.”

“Really?” Andrews said.

Isabel flashed him an annoyed look and sighed. “I have to take care of this, babe. But you should talk to Claire since she came all this way over. I’ll be back as soon as I can.” She grabbed her purse and headed toward the door. They shared a look that Claire couldn’t quite decipher and then Isabel was gone. They did that a lot, the non-verbal communication thing from being together for so long.

Andrews returned his attention to her and gave her a weak smile. He seemed uncomfortable. Or nervous. It was hard to tell with him.

“I’m sure you’re curious why I called you up here, so I’ll get to the point.”

Claire nodded, very used to his frankness. Best case scenario, maybe the experience with their last surgery would lead to more chances to scrub in with him if Barnes and Stemler could spare her.

“How are things going on your fellowship.”

“Things are fine. I can’t complain.”

This had become her standard answer when people asked how she was doing. She’d had a similar feeling earlier with Isabel. All that mattered was that she was doing what she needed to take care of Sam.

No one really wanted to hear about all the other stressors in casual conversation. And there's no way to politely gripe about seeing her former colleagues reach heights every day that would take her two or three times as long to achieve at her current pace. If she mentioned it, even to Neil, she knew people would pity her and worry. She could barely handle her own emotions about it much less navigate everyone else’s.

She tried to focus on the fact that she remained in the game. And when she went home with Sam every night, the tradeoff was the best thing she’d ever had in her life.

But Andrews scrutinized her as if not quite buying the party line.

“I mean how are you doing, really. I know how I’d be doing in your place. And after being reminded of your potential lately, it makes me wonder."

Claire frowned. “I don’t know what you mean.” The look Andrews gave her caused her to relent a bit. “Yeah, it’s sometimes hard that I’m not doing all the cool stuff I used to do. But I’m still in the O.R. a lot, even if it’s more routine procedures. Dr. Stemler has been accommodating with my schedule so I can juggle things with Sam. And if this is about the Chapman, I’m over it. Really.”

In truth, even though Stemler had stopped grumbling about having Claire thrust upon him, she still had to live with why he’d been opposed to having student doctors in the first place – a complete lack of patience or drive for teaching. Or working with other people in general. He was a good technician, but his people skills were worse than Shaun’s and he leaned on Claire regarding patient care more than she thought was appropriate. It had crossed her mind once or twice to go to HR about it, but the favors she’d been granted made her hesitant to rock the boat.

“Claire, let me cut to the chase. You are being wasted with Stemler and Barnes. You shouldn’t be playing second fiddle on a string of appendectomies and angioplasties. You should be jockeying for status and the most cutting-edge surgeries; vying for chief resident. It’s painful to watch your talents not being utilized.”

Claire scoffed. “How do you think it feels to be on the other side of that,” unable to hide her bitterness. “Sorry,” she backtracked. “I appreciate your regard, Dr. Andrews, but there’s nothing to be done about that. I’ve made my peace with things. Unless I want to switch hospitals, maybe even states to then have to establish myself among all new superiors and staff and peers, I have to make this work. And to make this work I have to let go of my original goals. I have more important concerns.”

“I know,” he responded quietly. “And I know how much Sam means to you and how hard you’re working to be his everything right now.” Claire nodded. He leaned back in his chair and steepled his hands against his chin. Letting out a calming breath, he instead chose to lean forward hands folded on the desk. “Has Isabel ever talked to you about our families? About how we grew up?”

Claire mentally sifted through their many conversations. There were lots of stories about their big family gatherings and stories about this niece or that uncle. And Isabel’s irritation at how much pressure they got from everyone about having kids. But she didn’t recall much conversation about her childhood.

“She’s talked about your families and how close you are. We’ve talked about her going to med school. Nothing much before then though.”

Andrews nodded. “One of the things that really bonded us when we first met was that we had very similar upbringings. Most of her family is from Guyana and her mom sent her to live with an aunt and uncle when she was maybe four or five years old. That aunt raised her until the rest of her family moved here when she was a teenager.

“I had a similar story,” he continued. “My mom had me when she was supposed to be in her first year of college at Yale. To be the first person in our family to go to college and for it to be an ivy league school? That was a big deal. As far as my grandmother and my aunts were concerned, she was going to that college.

“So, when I was just a baby, my family packed up her stuff and sent her east. I spent the first years of my life being raised by my grandmother and my aunts. I was lucky. My mom did a post-grad program at Cambridge, came back to California for a Ph.D. at Stanford, and became a well-respected geneticist. I had the rest of my family to rely on. She got back together with my dad for a while – or at least long enough to have my sister. We were a more conventional family until he had enough of that and only came around when he wanted something.”

Claire laughed bitterly. “I know all about that.” She had no idea he’d been in a similar boat.

Sensing her train of thought, Andrews nodded. “I didn’t know much about your relationship with your mom until you and Isabel became friends. I wish I’d known. Maybe I could have been a better support to you. And when I found out, well, I figured it wasn’t something you wanted to talk about.”

“You’re not wrong about that,” Claire said. She sighed. “It’s still hard to talk about her, but I’m working on it with my therapist. I wish I had known, too. About your dad.”

Claire sometimes wondered what life would have been like if she’d known her father. Maybe he’d been as big of a mess as her mother knowing her type. But she also wished she’d known anyone in her family besides her mom. Back in college, she’d actually looked them up out of curiosity. Thought maybe there was a long-lost grandmother or cousin she’d discover. But it had been another disappointment similar to the hundreds of others involving her mom. Both of Breeze’s parents had died. She’d been an only child. No other family members seemed to exist.

It’s just her and Sam left.

Andrews looked to the family picture he had on his desk – Claire recognized Isabel but no one else. There was a woman at Andrews’ side, barely gray-haired. Claire would have figured her to be an older sister, but now she wasn’t so sure.

“My mom taught me that I could explore every corner of my potential. That carried me through to becoming president of this hospital – and losing it for standing by my convictions even when the consequences are humbling and difficult. From the moment I was born, I had options.

“And my mom had options. Not perfect ones, but ones that gave her good choices about who she could be and what she could accomplish in her life for me and for herself. I’m so proud of her for going forward when everything in her wanted to stay with me and live another life. But we don’t deny that that separation changed our relationship. Not in a bad way. We’re just something different than most kids’ relationships with their parents. Isabel had the same experience. Family came to mean something else to us.”

Seeing this side to Andrews was fascinating, but Claire still didn’t understand what it had to do with her.

“I just wonder what kind of options you deserve to have. What your life would look like if your only option wasn’t worrying about your ‘more important concerns’?”

Stunned, Claire glared at him. She didn’t like what he was implying. “Excuse me?”

“What I mean is,” he added quickly, cutting off her question, “what if you had different concerns? Ones that gave you more options about your future.”

Annoyance continued to cloud Claire’s face. “I don’t understand what you’re getting at. You know how important Sam is to me. I’ve worked things out with my situation. Why would I do anything to jeopardize that?”

“What I’m about to explain, I’d like you to hear me out. And keep an open mind.”

Claire sighed. “Dr. Andrews I don’t want to hear any more about the Chapman. I did what everyone wanted me to do and it wasn’t worth the trouble. And if this is about me breaking my neck to get back in the regular surgical program, don’t you think I’ve already run those numbers? It’s not what I want. I’m sure some people could do it, and I probably could too if I put my mind to it. But I don’t want to put my mind to it. I want to be a fully present parent for Sam.”

“No, it’s not that,” Andrews assured her. “I admire the decisions that you’ve made. I understand that they’re hard ones."

“And I’m not hiring someone to raise Sam or help out or whatever. I can’t afford it, and honestly, that’s not what I want either. A lot of people don’t understand, but I actually enjoy spending this time with Sam.”

Andrews sighed. “I’m not saying that either.” He seemed reluctant to continue and, surprisingly, a little intimidated by how much he’d stoked her temper. Claire got a lot of satisfaction out of that.

“Then what _are_ you saying?” Confusion replaced annoyance as she waited for him to explain. 

“First, what I’m proposing isn’t something I just thought of. I’ve thought about it for months, since your situation changed really. I mean we. Isabel and I.” He squirmed in his chair now very clearly uncomfortable. “We were going to talk to you together, but as you can see, she got derailed.”

Claire frowned now more puzzled than ever.

“For the past few years, Isabel, and I have been trying very hard to have a child. It’s been a tough road and it hasn’t gone as we thought it would. We’ve had some terrible losses, the most recent a few weeks ago. It’s been a lot to deal with for both of us, and it’s taking a toll – on our jobs, on our marriage. A lot of things.”

Claire’s eyes softened in sympathy at his revealing such a personal issue. Looking back on the last few months, she could now see the pattern. The trip a few weeks ago, the appointments Isabel mentioned but didn’t elaborate on. There’d been a period around Thanksgiving when she’d gone several weeks without even texting with Isabel. It’d seemed sort of strange at the time, but she’d brushed if off as holiday busyness. Now she had a sense of something else entirely going on.

And even though Andrews rarely talked much about his personal life at work, it’s not as if tragedies like miscarriages would occur in regular conversation.

At the same time, a picture was starting to form about what this conversation was really about. And the anxiety of it flared inside her, almost choking her to the point of stealing her breath.

“Adoption is the next option for us, and we’re ready to go down that road. But before we do, we’d like to try something different if it’s possible.”

Claire stiffened. “I’m not giving him up,” she said, tightly, steel in her voice and stone-faced.

Her mind flashed back to months before when Tre Mackey had shown up at the hospital with his bombshell revelations. It seemed the universe was intent on testing her and her devotion to Sam.

Instead of being defensive, Andrews relaxed, a soft smile signaling that he’d expected such a reaction. “I wouldn’t want you to, Claire.”

“Then why—”

“You are an amazing mom to Sam. You stepped in without hesitation and beyond your own grief and dreams to give him the best life. A better life than you certainly had. No one will ever replace that for him, and he’s the luckiest little boy for it.

“What I’m proposing is giving you some room to breathe. Giving you options. Isabel and I were lucky because we had big families who weren’t going to let us sacrifice anything we didn’t have to. We’ve paid it forward to our cousins. To my niece who’ll be starting her own residency in a few months. Isabel adores you and Sam, and we’ve both gotten so much out of spending time with the two of you; helping out when we can. It’s helped get _us_ through a lot of sadness. More help than you can know, when we thought we didn’t deserve to have kids or that maybe it wasn’t meant for us. We’d been about to give up. And then we started becoming closer with you and Sam, and now we know that we still have something to give and things to learn. It brought that hope back for us.

“But after the latest disappointment a few weeks ago with our last egg transfer, we just need to think differently about what we want from this process. We’re not talking adoption or anything like that. We’re thinking along the lines of you having two more sets of hands a little more often than the occasional few hours for hair appointments or date night. A little less weight on you every day. You get to be the same big sister who loves Sam fiercely and beyond everything, and you provide for him and be the center of his world. But Isabel and I would be part of that world, sharing some of the burden of your responsibilities.

“Sam isn’t a burden,” Claire insisted. “He’s my brother, my only family.”

“And we respect that. You’re there every step of the way. Still his guardian and his big sister, but maybe not his everything all the time. You get to be the brilliant surgeon you’re meant to be without compromising while knowing Sam’s being spoiled rotten in a home where he’s loved and taken care of. He’s already filling a hole in our family and in our hearts. And so are you.”

So many emotions warred within Claire at Andrews’ idea. Panic, fear, wonder, curiosity. She’d gotten so good at burying that part of her who wanted to be chief resident and the youngest chief of surgery and every other accomplishment in between.

But overwhelming all of it was the terror of losing Sam to anyone who couldn’t love him like she did and give him the family she could. The fear of the loneliness at not spending every night with his little snores through the baby monitor and his giggles at bath time. At dances with him and Neil when he’s sleepy and afternoon picnics in the park that feel as normal as smiling and breathing.

At the idea of his accusatory eyes when he’s older and realizes that she abandoned him.

Claire shook her head, eyes tearing at the thought of a life without Sam in it every day.

“This isn’t like with you and Isabel’s situation. I’m Sam’s only real family. I can’t dump him on someone else just because I once wanted another life. I don’t ever want him to feel like he’s not enough. He’s more than enough for me,” she argued, tears now breaking free and running down her cheek.

“You wouldn’t be abandoning him,” Andrews pleaded. “You’d still be very much a part of his life. The biggest part where you see him every day if that’s what you both want. We’d keep him a few times a week or alternate weeks, whatever you think works best. You’d still be his guardian, you’d have access to him at any time and in charge of every decision about his health and well-being or his schooling, hell, even what sports he plays and books he reads. And you’d be adding to his family, giving him more people to love and dote on him. You’d have Isabel’s loud and crazy and loving Guyanese family and my earnest and much more low-key Oakland-by-way-of-Texas family too. Between all those folks, you can know that boy will be well-fed,” he joked.

Andrews sighed when his attempt at defusing the situation didn’t have the desired effect. “And you’re wrong, Claire. You both have plenty of family. Not just Isabel and I but Shaun and Park. Morgan and your friend Dash. And you know Neil would go to the ends of the Earth for either of you. You know more than most people that shared DNA and blood don’t control who’s dear to you.”

Claire wiped at her eyes, trying to process what Andrews thought he was offering her and Sam.

Andrews held his ground, staring intently at her until she returned her attention to him. “But Claire, we’d also very much consider you a part of our family. Hell, we already do. I think that’s nice too,” he added softly with an open and sincere smile. “We know you’re a package deal. That’s what we want.”

“Yeah?” she threw back. “What do you even get out of this? And for how long?”

Andrews leaned back in his chair. She could see his weariness on full display. And the tension of no doubt months or even years of stress when it came to this issue.

“We get some space, Claire. To figure out if we really want more. And if it’s worth it. Maybe we’ll adopt down the road. Or maybe this will be the entirety of what we can handle.” He leaned forward again. “But it’s a win-win. We’d be doing a lot of what our friendship involves now anyway. Just more consistently. And that was never going to change. Not if you moved hospitals or changed specialties or if we’d been lucky enough to get pregnant. We both care about you and Sam and want to be a resource to you.”

This is crazy, Claire thought. How could she possibly even consider giving Sammy up? Sure, this all sounded reasoned and logical. But all she’d ever known of families is the messiness. More family meant more messiness.

Yet, she couldn’t ignore the fears that went along with the joys of raising Sammy. The anxiety of making sure he had the best she could provide him with and never feeling as if it was enough. Of being mom and dad and big sister. Of thinking ahead to daycare and puberty and college. Always wondering if he’d find her lacking when he got older and understood the kinds of better families other people had.

And things were so good right now with Neil. What if that all fell apart once spending time with her no longer meant being the sole father figure to her little brother? He had outright told her it wasn’t why he’s with her, but that’s easy to say when everything’s going well. Would he judge her for picking her career over Sam? She didn’t know what scared her more, that or the fear that one day she and Sammy would be too much and he’d leave her all alone as well.

They both sat silent, letting the new situation sink in. Claire tried calming herself down, seeing this from a detached, logical vantage point because freaking out wasn’t getting her too far.

Finally, she wiped her eyes dry and asked, “how does this affect my residency? I don’t just magically get my old job back.”

Andrews seemed at least a little pleased to see Claire considering all the angles. “That’s actually the easiest part of this. Melendez will be in your corner. Lim too. That’ll make it an easy decision for Glassman, probably without even drawing a whisper of concern from the board. I confided in him a few weeks ago – not everything I’m telling you, but some. He’ll back us up. Even if you can’t rejoin your class, you’ll be placed in the class below where you can be back in the game. I’ll make sure of it personally.”

This was all too much. Claire’s head was spinning with this new information and the stress of even thinking about the possibilities. Every decision seemed to be both the right thing and the wrong thing. She needed to clear her head.

As if sensing her panic, Andrews stepped in before she could bolt. “Please, just think about it. We’re in no rush. Take the time you need. Talk to Isabel. Ask any question you like of either of us. We’re happy to talk through anything, introduce you to our families. If we’re lucky to have this work out for us, we want you to be sure and to address anything that’ll make the process a positive one for both you and Sam.”

Taking a deep breath Claire nodded. “This is a lot. And overwhelming.”

She closed her eyes trying to calm her racing heart and even more errant thoughts. When she reopened them, it was with more clarity and also empathy.

“All of this I know comes from a place of kindness by you and Isabel and what I’m sure has been a very difficult and complicated process dealing with your own dreams too. I don’t want you to think I’m ungrateful or that I don’t recognize that.”

Andrews smiled. “I know. This _is_ overwhelming. And it’s a life-changing decision in some ways, so I want you to take your time with it. Talk it over with Neil. I know he cares about you and won’t hold back on giving you his honest perspective.” He smirked a bit at that. Catching the wicked glint in his eyes, Claire chuckled. “And if I’m going to have to invite him over for Christmas dinner too, I’ll need to prepare myself.”

Claire’s jaw dropped at Andrews’ bluntness. And then she started laughing at the idea of it, which Andrews happily joined.

They both stood, Claire to return to her duties and Andrews to walk her out. “I’ll uh, I’ll let you know, I guess,” Claire said before opening the door.

Nodding, Andrews grabbed the door handle before she could reach for it, opening the door for her. “Whatever you decide will be okay with us. Just make the best decision for the both of you, okay.”

“Yeah, I will.”

She glanced across the way and saw the lounge and Neil’s office still empty. She didn’t know whether to be upset or relieved to have to sit with this information on her own for a while. She walked out of the office in a daze, heading toward the elevators. After finally feeling a few of her wits return to her, she whipped out her phone and pulled up a text message for Neil.

_Dinner tonight? Lots to tell you._

_TBC ...  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Much of this story has been about found family and accepting the difficult changes that upend our lives. Writing this section of the story came from a few ideas that interested me. There was Neil and Jessica early on talking about the significance of biological children as it related to his paternal hopes. There's Claire's lack of biological family other than her mom that we've seen mentioned. There's the forgotten fertility storyline for Andrews that I thought was great but got dropped. And there are the unconventional relationships Glassman has with Shaun and Jessica.
> 
> And there's the personal for me of having an adopted sibling and friends dealing with the complexities of fertility challenges or even the decision to have kids. There are relatives and friends who rely (or don't) on extended families for raising their kids. Like Andrews in this story, my own mom stayed with family and friends while my grandmother went to grad school in another state. My dad has a big family too. But I mostly grew up only around my immediate family. There are many angles to this type of identity.
> 
> So it's all very interesting stuff to explore. Lots of ways to look at it. And it's been nice to wrestle with some of those scenarios. We'll get a bit more of that coming up!


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The bumpy ride continues...

Neil pulled into a parking space by Claire’s building and cut the engine. He grabbed the special dessert he’d picked up courtesy of Morgan’s boyfriend, Kevin, who still worked at the French café in the food market. He hoped Claire would enjoy the surprise.

She’d sent him a strange text earlier in the day confirming that he’d be coming over for dinner and that she had a lot to tell him. He’d heard about her doing a successful surgery with Andrews that involved its share of tricky solutions. Maybe that’s what she wanted to fill him in on. It better not be about backing out of attending the baseball game he'd gotten them tickets for in a few weeks. If she thought he'd pestered her before, he'd be relentless until he got her and Sam to an A's game before the end of the season.

He sensed something off about the situation, though. He’d texted back some flirtatious joke and she hadn’t responded how she normally did when he teased her.

Neil let himself into Claire's apartment, figuring she'd be busy entertaining Sam while also cleaning up after his dinner. He’d tried to get out of work a little earlier, but he’d gotten roped into a research meeting at the last minute when Lim’s surgery went long. After slipping off his shoes and putting his jacket and briefcase in the closet, he joined two of his favorite people in the living room.

Sure enough, Claire was on the floor playing some made-up game with Sam. The dinner dishes were still on the table and there were a few covered pots on the stove that made up “second dinner” for the adults after Sam's bedtime.

When Sam saw him, he lit up and waved a block at him. The kid really loved to build things – and then had a lot of fun destroying his creations. Neil wondered if they were going to have a future engineer or sculptor on their hands. Tonight, whatever game he and Claire were playing involved trading blocks and then adding to a pile while a collection of stuffed animals and cars watched on.

“Hey, Sammy, what are you two building there?”

Neil detoured to the kitchen to put the pastry box on the table and returned to join them on the floor, pushing aside a fire truck and a chewed up plastic triceratops. He gave Claire a quick kiss on the crown of her head and then poked around at the pile of blocks next to Sam. The little boy handed him a few and babbled something that indicated he should add to their block fort.

Claire seemed quiet, not engaging in her usual banter with Sam. She silently added to the fort and then smiled when Sam reached over and moved it to another area.

“How was your day,” she asked.

He hadn’t seriously thought she’d dive directly into whatever was on her mind even if he really, really wanted to know. It looked like they’d be waiting until Sam’s bedtime to get into it.

“It wasn’t too bad. Only one surgery, but a lot of meetings on top of the one Lim roped me into.”

Claire smiled. “Speaking of, I heard Stemler and Lim got into at the staff meeting.”

Laughing, Neil stole one of Claire’s blocks and put it on top of a growing tower in the construction. “Yeah, he’s really pushing her to divert that new funding initiative toward his research project. She’ll probably do it, but she doesn’t want to just hand it over without him making an effort.”

“It _is_ an interesting project and he’s already gotten a publication offer. But yeah, I get that. It’s going to go straight to his head.” She sighed. “I don’t know if that means I’ll get more lead surgeries with him preoccupied or if I’ll get sidelined. Obviously, I’m hoping for the former.”

Neil hadn’t thought about that. He made a mental note to mention it to Lim or Glassman. Claire’s modified residency depended on Barnes and Stemler’s schedule.

“It could also mean that we get to steal you away a little more often. I heard you scrubbed in with Andrews today. And that it went well.”

It surprised him to see Claire frown. “Yeah, it was an interesting surgery.” She launched into a description of the procedure, Neil suspected more as a distraction than any real zeal to talk about it. Sammy played happily, content to hear Claire’s voice.  
  
They went along like this for a while, a subdued Claire and equally low-key Sammy filling the early evening. A few yawns from Sam signaled when it was time for the bath and bed routine. Neil moved to take him and start the process – their usual schedule involved Neil getting in his quality Sam-time during his bath while Claire got their dinner ready. But tonight Claire stopped him before he could pick up the little boy.

“Would you mind if I did bath time tonight?” She didn’t offer an explanation why, but it seemed meaningful for some unknown reason. He figured she’d explain later.

“Of course not. I’ll get dinner ready. And Kevin hooked me up with eclairs for dessert.”

That did get a small smile from her, but she didn’t respond, giving him a quick peck on the cheek and picking up Sam from the floor. As they walked down the hall to the bathroom, she spoke quietly to him, making the little boy giggle.

Neil sighed. Whatever she had to tell him, it must be major. He’d seen her exhausted, frustrated, sleepy, and annoyed in the past few months, but he hadn't seen her this sullen in a while.

He moved to the kitchen and saw she’d made beans and rice. She’d also made a pan of cornbread that sat on the stove covered with a dish towel. That meal was a Claire Browne staple, one of the dishes she could make confidently and quickly. And it was her favorite comfort food.

That made him more nervous. What could possibly have happened to rattle her so much?

Neil cleaned up Sam’s dinner and put out dishes and cups for theirs. Depending on how tired Sam was, they could get to their dinner in the next five minutes or the next hour. Hearing a soft singing and humming coming from down the hall, he suspected it would be the former. Sure enough, after Claire went into Sam’s room to get him ready for bed, she didn’t reemerge signaling that Sam had been tired enough to hit the crib.

About 15 minutes later, Claire strolled into the kitchen looking weary and a little damp from bath time. Instead of asking her what was wrong, he pulled her in for a long hug, feeling her settle against him. When she finally pulled back, he kissed her, letting it linger as he pressed his lips to hers again and again. Then he guided her to the table and placed a full plate in front of her.

“Wine or beer?” he asked from by the refrigerator.

She smiled. Normally, she didn’t drink on weekdays anymore. For him to ask meant he knew she needed something to take the edge off of her day.

“Beer, please.”

He grabbed two beers for them and delivered her drink. They ate in silence, the only noise the music he’d turned on playing softly in the background. He let her have the time to collect her thoughts and work up to sharing whatever was on her mind.

Claire set her fork down after finishing half of her dinner, opting instead to sit back and cradle her beer. Claire wasn’t one for skipping meals and that triggered a deeper worry about the mystery elephant lurking in the room.

I had a really …” She paused looking for the right words to begin. “… a really strange conversation with Andrews this afternoon.”

Neil had finished with his plate, so he moved it to the side and turned to give her his full attention. He didn’t bother asking any follow-up questions as she searched for the best way to continue.

“He started by asking me about how things were going with Sam and talking about the surgery we’d just done. He was really impressed with my work.”

“Of course, he was,” Neil said, smiling softly, trying to project as much calm and support as he could. “You’re brilliant.”

Claire gave him a tiny upward pull of her lips at his comment. “He was also frustrated. Mad about the Chapman still and said I’m wasting my talent with my current residency under Stemler and Barnes.”

Anger flared in Neil over this. Claire knew damn well what she had to give up with the changes in her life over the past year. It wasn’t fair of Marcus to keep bringing that up after everyone had told him to let it go.

“He shouldn’t be saying stuff like that,” Neil replied, failing to hide his irritation.

“I think he meant well. But yeah, not something I really want to hear. I told him that I’d accepted what happened and being mad didn’t change anything. And then he said …”

She sighed, shaking her head as if still in disbelief. Neil continued to wait patiently for the bombshell.

“He and Isabel want to … I don’t know … help out with Sam.”

Neil frowned in confusion. This was definitely not what he’d expected.

“I know, it’s … unexpected. Let me back up. He said that he and Isabel have been trying to get pregnant. I know you know that. It sounds like it’s been really difficult. He said they’ve had losses and I wondered if it was problems with the IVF or miscarriages – I talked to Isabel a while ago and it’s the latter. They’ve been thinking about adoption and—”

“So, they want to adopt Sam?” Neil could feel the agitation creeping in. He didn’t feel angry, per se, but his protectiveness for Sam – his possessiveness – had been stoked by this development. Neil knew he probably should maintain his calm for Claire’s sake, but she’d had more time to let this news sink in.

Claire shook her head. “No, I assumed that too, but I don’t think so.” She took another pull of her beer and leaned back in the chair. “It sounds more like helping take care of him. I’m not explaining it well,” she said, seeing the confused look on his face.

Neil sat back as well, drinking from his beer, not sure what to make of all this.

“They’re not ready to adopt yet. It’s a long process, and I think they’re too tired and scared about it coming off of their last IVF round. Isabel isn’t ready to give up on it, but Andrews has had a hard time with the losses and the possibility of something happening to her. They know time is running out, but they want to give themselves some space too. That’s how Isabel explained it.”

“You talked to them separately?” Neil asked, still confused.

“Yeah. They meant to do it together, I think. They’d had a follow-up doctor’s appointment earlier today and made the decision to approach me afterward. But when we sat down to talk, Isabel got called away. She still wanted Andrews to talk to me about it since it was his idea. So, he started the conversation and I caught Isabel right before I picked up Sam.”

“What did you say? Did you turn them down?” Neil asked, nervously twirling his half full bottle in his hands.

She glanced at him, irritated. “I said I’d think about it.”

“What does that even look like?” he asked, not really talking to her; more thinking out loud. He didn't want to take his anxiety about this news out on the messenger. But he did have an overwhelming urge to call up Marcus and give him an emphatic ‘what the fuck were you thinking’.

Claire shrugged. “It can look like whatever I want it to look like. Andrews told me about his family growing up. That he spent a lot of his childhood with his grandmother and aunts while his mom got through college on the east coast and studied abroad. Isabel was also raised by an aunt and uncle here in the states before her family moved from Guyana. They think about child-rearing differently than a lot of people, I guess. The whole ‘it takes a village’ approach.”

This was news to Neil. Although he’d worked with Marcus for years, they weren't friends; didn't hang out together. In fact, they’d spent a lot of their professional relationship as rivals.

“I guess,” he replied. “I didn’t grow up like that.”

It’s not that he didn’t have plenty of extended family around when he grew up. But there was a strong sense of the man of the house taking care of his own. Growing up, he saw his family trying to hide how bad things were for them, putting on a front for other family members, secretly seeking help from the church if things got desperate. And things had often been desperate with trying to take care of Gabi and his parents constantly moving from one low-paying job to the next. But they never let on to anyone else how much they struggled. Neil had inherited a lot of that mentality that he constantly worked hard to balance.

Claire nodded. “I didn’t grow up like that either. You know as well as anyone that it’s not in my nature to ask for help from anybody because it was hardly ever an option. But Andrews said that no matter what I decided, he wanted to give me those options now.”

“Do you think it’s really about you, or is it about what he wants?” Neil asked, not too kindly. “Marcus has got an angle for everything.” He shook his head. “It feels like that Tre Mackey situation all over again. But at least this time, we can walk away without worrying about getting blood tests. Might make things awkward at work though," he mused, almost slamming his hand into the table before thinking of the sleeping baby down the hall. "I can't believe he'd pull something like this! And get Isabel to go along with it.”

"Who says I'm walking away?" She frowned again. “Neil, I get that this is shocking. And I admit that I initially acted very poorly when he first brought it up. But I could do without your snark and whatever issues you’ve got with Andrews. Maybe it’s too much to ask, but I could really use your help thinking this through right now.”

Neil’s irritation flared a bit at that. It stung to hear her questioning his support. Yes, he’s surprised and suspicious, but she had to know that she and Sam were his priority.

“What's to think through? Forgive me for having an honest reaction to what sounds like kind of a crazy idea. And one that affects me too, I’ll add.”

Apparently, that had been the wrong thing to say.

She glared at him and abruptly stood up from the table, taking their plates to the sink. With her back to him, he could practically feel the tension and frustration rolling off of her. But he couldn’t bring himself to go to her. His emotions were all over the place about what this request meant for them.

Claire turned from the sink, arms crossed and looking very unhappy with him.

“I was afraid of this,” she said bitterly. “I love you. And I know you love me and Sam. But he is _my_ responsibility, not yours. I spend every day worrying about how I’m going to take care of Sam, how I'm going to keep him safe or teach him how to be a good person. I’ve given up a lifetime of dreams to put him first. And I know about your dreams too. I do. But this thing between us is still so new. You don’t get to walk in here and make a major decision like this all about you.”

“This ‘thing’ between us?” Neil said. “And since when is asking a few questions making the situation all about me? You’re the one who summoned me here to talk about this.”

“I ‘summoned’ you because I wanted your opinion. Not your judgement. Not your demands. Not your beef with Andrews. You aren’t entitled to either of us. I am drowning in my emotions right now, and you’re not even willing to hear me out.”

She realized she’d raised her voice and moved back to the table to check Sam’s monitor. She seemed satisfied they hadn’t disturbed him. Neil couldn’t let what she’d said pass, though.

“So, what, I’m just a convenient sounding board, but I can’t have an opinion on the emotions _I’m_ drowning in right now?”

“You’re someone I thought I could trust to talk through this. To be the steady one so I can think about this clearly and make the best decision for Sam. And for me.”

She did have a point. That’s the role he’d always played in their relationship. He’d never minded up until now. 

“And what _about_ me? Claire, I've made it very clear what you and Sam mean to me. What I'm freely committing to. You chose me to be his guardian if something were to happen to you. I thought we were on our way to building a life together. Why is it so wrong of me to ask about where I fit in for this decision?”

“Because you can walk away, Neil,” Claire said, looking stricken. “I can’t walk away from this. It’s all about Sam, all the time. It has been since I showed up at that crash site. But you can. I’ve always told you that you can change your mind. And the one thing I know about life is that no matter if you do the good thing or the noble thing or just need time to think about what the right thing is, people can and will leave when things get too hard for them.”

Neil ran his fingers through his head, frustrated at her, at himself, wanting to hold her and argue with her at the same time.

“Is that what this is about? You think I’m going to walk away from you?” He laughed bitterly. “Claire, I have told you over and over again that I don’t want to be let off the hook. I don’t know what else I need to do to prove to you my commitment to this ‘thing’ with you and Sam. Do you want me to give you an organ or tear off a limb? I’d really like to know.”

“Because you want a family.” Claire said, tears in her eyes. "You want that family you've told me you dreamed about?"

“Because I want _you_. And Sam,” he assured her. "Now you're pushing me away and you expect me not to be devastated by that?” He paced across the kitchen, feeling Claire track his movement. After a few beats he turned toward where she still stood stewing by the sink. "I didn't say anything to you because I never wanted to pressure you, but I’m there, Claire. I’ve been ‘there’ about us for a long time. The big house and baseball-themed room for Sam. Marriage. More kids. My heart has already gone down that road. I stayed quiet because I want you to get there on your own. I’m hoping you do,” he added, both an admission and a plea.

He could see the shock on Claire’s face, but thankfully, not any fear. At least not fear over what he’d just revealed.

He took a deep breath, put his back to her to regain some control over himself, and tried to forget the misery in her eyes. The misery he’d made worse by not checking his temper. He heard her quiet sniffles behind him and felt terrible.

“I tell everyone that things are fine. That _I’m_ fine,” Claire said softly behind him. “But I’m still in mourning. For my mom. For my career and my life before all this. My therapist says I’m doing well, but it doesn’t always feel like it.” She sighs. “Maybe I should have changed hospitals so I wouldn’t have to see every day what I had to give up, and pretend that I don’t miss it. But I do. All the time. I’m not saying that I’m going to go along with Isabel and Andrews’ idea. But after I got over the shock of it, after I let it sink in, it felt nice to have options that took some of the pressure off. And I feel so guilty, like I’ve betrayed Sam by just considering it. And now you, too.”

Neil could hear the strain in her, the conflict. It broke his heart. He turned back to her and in two steps he had her in his arms, holding her to him.

“I’m sorry,” he said, his hand stroking her head. He knew things were still hard for her, but he never wanted her to have to pretend with him.

He stood at the sink embracing her, breathing in and out until they were in sync. He’d always loved that she came to him when she needed to talk something out. It reflected a level of trust he knew she didn’t have with anyone else. He’d let his own panic get in the way of that, and it felt awful.

After holding her and rubbing her back for a few minutes, he pulled away and took her tear-streaked face in his hands. He wiped away the dampness and kissed her softly on the lips.

“Let’s go sit down and start over. I promise to hear you out. However long it takes.”

She looked tired and scared. But she nodded. Taking one of his hands, she led him to the couch and sat facing him. He insisted on keeping hold of her hand.

Then she explained the conversation with Marcus, from beginning to end and the later talk with Isabel. He understood the gist of what they were offering, saw the kindness and sadness to it the way Claire had come to realize.

His initial reaction was one of fear too – and she’d called him out on it. He’d become so attached to his dreams of a family with her that he’d instantly saw the situation as a threat. And as hard as it had been to hear, the decision really did come down to what Claire wanted. And that decision _did_ reflect on her commitment to their relationship. He could see that now with a little distance.

And even in the brief amount of time since hearing the news, he understood what this could mean for Claire.

After she’d finished explaining, they sat quietly next to each other, Neil stroking her hand with his thumb to calm her.

“Thank you for explaining. Now tell me, what do you think? Honestly. Don’t worry about what anybody would say about it, not even me.”

Claire squeezed his hand. “I can’t get over the feeling that it’s abandoning Sam. I see him confronting me when he’s older asking why I didn’t want him.” Neil opened his mouth to object, but Claire stopped him. “I know that’s not the situation, but it’s my biggest fear. I don’t want him to ever feel about me like I did about Mom. And I hate that I feel like her right now by even entertaining the idea of putting my own desires before his like she always did with the both of us.”

This time he interjected. “Claire, you’d never let that happen. And being at your best for Sam _is_ putting him first. I remember sitting right here and telling you that at the very beginning of all this. It’s not an all or nothing situation.”

“I’d like to think so but …” She sighed. “I want to give him everything I never had, all the good things he deserves to have. _I_ have to do that. Or at least that’s how I’ve thought about it because it’s the only way I’ve ever known how to think about my life. But Andrews made a good point. It hasn’t been just me. It’s been you – since the beginning, you’ve been there for us even before Sam was born.

“It’s been Park and Dash. It’s been Andrews and Isabel and Morgan and Shaun.” She paused, looking him in the eye, all her vulnerability on display. “What if I’m depriving him of something by not considering this? What if I’m just fooling myself about what I alone can do for him? I mean, look what happened to my mom on my watch.”

Neil thought about that for a bit. He held onto her hand more securely, for her comfort and for his.

“No, Claire, her bad decisions are not on you. They never were. But the rest of it? I really get it,” he admitted. “I had a lot of the same feelings after my sister’s accident. When my parents finally decided to place Gabi in a residential facility, it felt like we were failing her. I was angry. For a while I hated them for it. I didn’t understand how they could give up on her like that. I tried everything to convince them otherwise. I insisted they could do all the things I did for her if they just cared more. Offered to drop out of college and take care of her myself if I had to. It took me a long time to come around. Even after it was clear that Gabi was doing better in her new home than what we could provide for her, learning and making friends. I was miserable about it, and for a while, it prevented me from seeing how happy she was.” He looked down in shame. “And I realized that I had to get out of my own feelings of responsibility for her. Deal with my guilt for going away to college and making a life for myself. It wasn’t Gabi or my parents or anyone else putting that on me. I’d put it on myself, and it wasn't fair to anyone.”

Claire nodded in understanding. He’d told her some of this before when they’d talked, but she didn’t think he’d ever laid it out so plainly how painful his separation from Gabi had been.

“How did you make peace with it?” she asked.

Neil hadn’t thought about this in a while. But he _had_ made peace with it, even though he always wished he could do more for Gabi.

“I think it took time. And faith that my parents and I would make it work. Eventually, we did.”

“So, you think I should consider saying yes to Isabel and Andrews?” He could hear the uncertainty in her voice, the probing for answers.

“I think you should give all the possibilities some good thought and do what you think is best for Sam _and_ for you. I think you should trust yourself. Don’t second guess yourself because of a fear of abandonment – mine or your mother’s. You are making so much progress moving on from your mom’s accident. And me? Well, I don’t plan on going anywhere. No matter what, I’m going to be here for you and Sam.”

Claire gave him that sweet smile that he loved, the one that lit up her whole face, and cut through every other emotion she’s feeling.

“Thank you for saying that.” She slumped against the back of the couch. “It’s not that I don’t trust them. Of course, I do.” She laughed. “I know this sounds dumb,” she began. She paused, probably figuring out if she wanted to say whatever thought she’d been dwelling on. “Most days, I’m kind of making things up as I go along. What if Sam realizes what a mess I am and he likes them better.”

Neil had to keep from laughing at the idea. He wanted to tell her that there was absolutely no chance of that. Even though Sam had an easygoing personality and loved being around people, he very definitively favored Claire. No contest. She really was his whole world as far as his little heart was concerned.

But he didn’t know how helpful it’d be to assure her of that. On some level, Claire knew it too.

“I think that no matter what happens with this situation, there are some things you’ll need to figure out.” He picked up on the question in her expression. “You correct anyone who refers to you as Sam’s mom. You’ve never wanted him to call you that.”

Claire broke eye contact and looked away. “I’m not his mom. His mom is gone.”

“You _are_ his mom, in every way that matters but name. And I know that it’s a title that’s pretty synonymous with disappointment for both of you. But that doesn’t mean you need to run away from it. You are not Breeze. You will never let Sam down if it’s in your power to avoid it. But you need to decide what you’re going to be to him. And accept it. Fully.”

He noticed the tears well up in her eyes again and he let go of her hand to put his arm around her. He smiled when she put her head against his shoulder.

“You’re right. I’ve been trying to deny it, but being Sam’s mom scares the hell out of me. If I’m just Claire to him, just C.C. maybe he’ll forgive me more easily for all the mistakes I make.”

Neil laughed. “I get the impression that nothing can save you from his bratty teenage years, no matter what you call yourself.” He warmed at hearing her tiny giggle. “Claire, you are enough for him. You don’t need me or Isabel and Marcus, or anyone else to be exactly the thing Sam needs in his life to grow strong and to thrive. Just having you is enough for him to conquer the world.”

Claire wrapped her arm around him, holding him tighter.

“But maybe you’ll let me get in on the fun too?” he added.

This time Claire laughed fully and his heart melted at the sound. “Absolutely,” she replied. “Anytime.” She tilted her head up for a kiss and he gladly obliged her. “I'm sorry I yelled at you,” she murmured as she pulled away. “You're the best person I know. I still have trouble accepting how lucky I am that Sam and I get to be a part of your life.”

"And I get you eclairs," he added, eyes full of mirth."

"And you get me eclairs," she agreed. "With Kevin's help."

"Definitely with Kevin's help. What a missed opportunity for you. He's a real keeper."

Claire giggled, and poked him in the arm. She brought her hand up to cup his cheek. "Thank you, Neil. I love you."

He kissed her once more, accepting her apology and moving on. “I love you too. You’ll figure this out. Everything will be fine.”

She took his hand again. “You mean, _we’ll_ figure this out.”

He couldn’t control the smile that spread across his face at hearing her say that. “We will, won’t we.” He kissed her one last time before she again rested her head against his shoulder.

For a long time that night, they sat side-by-side, silently staring at the monitor to watch Sam sleeping.

_TBC ..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter will likely be up in a bit. I've got some sticky buns to see to in the meantime...


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three updates in one day! Not bad!

Claire sat under the warm sun, silently watching Sam play with the new train set he’d been obsessed with the past few weeks. She’d gotten it from his daycare buddy who hadn’t been as enamored with it. Her parents traded it for a truck playset that Sam had been equally lukewarm about.

Sam pushed the train around and made little noises as the wheels rolled over the blanket. She’d given him a snack a few minutes before even though his usual lunch time was about half an hour away. But they probably had enough time to linger here for a little while longer. With Neil working today, it was just her and Sammy until around dinnertime.

It was a pretty normal Saturday. They sat on the same hill she and Neil had brought Sam to a few months ago where they’d enjoyed a perfect afternoon – and she and Neil had shared their first kiss and confirmed the attraction that had been building between them.

When she thought about it, not much had changed since then. She and Sam still got through their days pretty successfully. Neil was still her rock, supporting her and loving her any way he could. He and Gabi had joined her and Sam as a little family unit. Their friends and co-workers remained at the ready to step in as a spare set of hands or sounding board or gossip partner.

A satisfying chaos had become the norm being a single parent while trying to advance her career. Each day was hard. So hard. Yet she felt she had a good life. One that she’s proud of.

She hadn’t expected the disruption from Isabel and Andrews’ proposal.

She’d told them that she’d think about what they were offering. But after her intense conversation with Neil about it, the last thing she wanted to do was ponder some alternate reality where Sam wasn’t the main part of her existence every day.

After a few days, she agreed to meet up with them again to talk through any questions. This time, Neil went with her, mostly staying quiet and trying to appear neutral. Although she knew it pained him to say so, he’d assured her that no matter how much he loved her and Sam and wanted to be a part of their lives, it really was her decision to make as Sam’s guardian. 

No, they weren’t looking for any kind of guardianship or custody or adoption situation.

Yes, they can test out different scenario to figure out what worked for everyone.

No, they wouldn’t just forget about Sam if they decided to go forward with further IVF rounds or adoption.

Yes, what they proposed looked a lot like how they helped out now, but more intentional and more often.

Maybe what made the most sense was a once-a-week sleepover for Sam that coincided with the longer shifts of a full-time resident. Maybe they’d sit down each week or month to negotiate a schedule. Maybe they’d figure out some sort of on-call childcare scenario. With Sam in daycare most of the day, it gave them lots of options to help with drop-offs and pickups and the occasional weekend coverage. And it didn’t mean sacrificing Neil’s dibs on bath time or Claire tucking Sam in every night. They just wanted to be helpful and take some of the load off of Claire.

Surprisingly, it was Neil that stopped her from rejecting all of it that day. He wanted her to thoroughly think it through.

Of course, her friends at work had sensed something intense going on, and she’d shared the situation with Isabel and Andrews’ permission as long as they remained discrete about it. Neil encouraged her to get their perspectives, too, so she’d feel as if she examined her choice from all angles, no matter what she decided.

She’d turned to Park first for obvious reasons as the only one who could truly understand the situation. He’d found it interesting but had been cautious about the implications of it.

_‘Up until now, you’ve pretty much been a part of every milestone, every important moment in Sam’s life. You’ve been a great mom. But when you expand your circle, you’ll miss things. You’ll watch him go to other people for comfort. You’ll have to make peace with your guilt over the dinners and parties and play time you won’t be there for because you were busy saving lives or comforting some other family’s kid as their doctor. That can be hard, and it’s not for everyone.’_

_Claire thought about what it must be like for him with his son so far away. Or even before when he'd been a police officer and being away because of his job meant he may not come home again at all._

_‘How do you deal with it?’ Claire asked, genuinely curious for his sake._

_Park sighed. ‘I’m still working on it. I know Kellan has his mom, and I trust her completely. I know what I’m doing is important, that I would regret not seeing it through. I’m realistic about what it’s cost me. And I try to make it count every day.’_

Claire had thought about that for a long time.

Morgan’s perspective had been interesting too.

_‘I can’t imagine not being a surgeon. No, that’s not it. I can imagine it, but it’s like a nightmare. When I knew my rheumatoid arthritis was getting worse, I fought that reality. Then eventually, I had to face the fact that my life would be something different than what I had always saw for myself._

_‘I wish I could say I handled it with dignity, but you were there. I was scared all the time. And desperate. Not everyone understands why I opted for the synovectomy surgery. But I don’t have any regrets. I get to spend however long I have doing what I love. I don’t care what anyone else thinks about it._

_‘And maybe there will be people who won’t understand if you choose to prioritize yourself and your career as much as you do Sam. Screw anyone that would judge you for it. They’re not living your life._

_‘Claire, I’ve always been straight with you, and I’m saying right now to stop being so dramatic. You don’t have to give up everything. Nobody’s asking you to – but you make it sound like accepting a little help is tantamount to leaving Sam on a stranger’s doorstep. It’s okay to want things for yourself. It doesn’t make you any less great to Sam.’_

_Claire nodded, hesitant to voice the other concern that’s plaguing her. “What if the person who doesn’t understand is Neil? He hasn’t said it, but I know he’s worried about what this all means for him, too. And I know he’d feel some kind of way about me accepting help from Isabel and Andrews rather than moving in with him and doing the traditional family thing.’_

_Morgan rolled her eyes. ‘You don’t have to worry about that. First, you’re already doing the traditional family thing, even before you two got together. And second, he is head over heels in love with you and Sam. He’ll get over any saltiness.'_ _  
_

_That made her blush a little with embarrassment at how transparent she and Neil could be to their friends._

_‘Well, I have to make a decision first. We’ll see.'_

Shaun had been characteristically blunt about it all.

 _‘I’d never give up being the best surgeon I can be.’_

_Claire laughed, expecting no less from him._

_He organized the journal articles and books he’d spread across the conference room table. ‘You’re very good at your job, Claire. I think you should be as good a surgeon as you can be too.’ He paused, fidgeting with a pen he’d grabbed from the table before stowing it in his pocket. ‘I miss working with you. I’ve learned a lot from you. It’s made me a good doctor.’_

_‘Shaun, that’s really sweet of you to say. Thank you.’ She missed working with him too. They’d always worked well together, starting with Shaun’s first dramatic day at the hospital. She liked brainstorming with him and mostly enjoyed all the random diversions into his personal life. It sucked that she didn’t see him as much as she used to with all of her new responsibilities._

_‘You’re very good at being Sam’s mom too. You should do what makes you the most happy.’_

Whatever makes her most happy, Claire pondered. That’s the million-dollar question, isn’t it?

Dash had reminded her to be thoughtful about her relationship with Sam and the preciousness of the moments they have together.

_‘You know, Kayla and I thought about doing the long-distance thing when she got that job offer in Philly. They put a lot of pressure on her to take the promotion, but I was still in grad school. She’d been about to say yes, but something just held her back._

_‘I thought about that a lot in those last weeks with her. How I’m so glad we didn’t miss out on that time together. Of course, we couldn’t have known, but I always wondered about that inexplicable feeling she described that told her to take a chance on our future.’_

_Kayla had ended up quitting that job and starting at a company that supported her 110% after she got sick. Her old job would never have been so accommodating. It had all worked out – as much as you can say for someone who died so young leaving so many grieving loved ones behind._

_‘That’s the context when I say you should hold Sam close. Whatever that means to you. Savor every second of your time with him.’_

She couldn’t imagine ever doing otherwise.

Her therapist had been her typical practical self. It’d be irritating if it wasn’t usually so helpful, she could reluctantly concede.

 _‘Self-care isn’t a zero-sum game, Claire. There are no winners and losers. I know this isn’t the most helpful thing for you to hear sometimes given your relationship with your mom. But for someone like you, doing what’s best for_ Claire _is going to be what’s best for Sam in the long run._

_‘You have to give yourself permission to think of yourself for a change. Not Sam, not Neil. Just you’_

_“But I can’t—’_

_‘You can. It’s okay. You really can. No guilt. No shame.’ Claire wasn’t convinced, but Dr. Malkin refused to take no for an answer._

_She let go a little bit at a time, pictured herself turning down Andrews and Isabel’s offer, keeping on with her residency and letting her routine settle in with Neil and her job. What she lacked in exciting surgeries and accolades, she made up in evening dinners with Sam, weekends with Gabi and Neil, walking Sam to school and picking him up afterwards._

_Following another thread, she saw her watching videos that Isabel would make of Sam doing something silly while she worked late; the quiet of her apartment without his stomping around the living room. She considered the exhaustion of a 36 hour shift, alternating between surgeries, consults, and rounds. She imagined telling Sam all about it during bedtime or over breakfast if she’d missed his nightly routine._

_It was all so confusing._

Claire had needed some space to think clearly about it, which is how she and Sam found themselves at the park.

She knew she had to make some sort of decision soon. It wasn’t good for anybody to have the situation linger. Isabel and Andrews had reinforced repeatedly that they were fine with her decision either way. After that first heated exchange, Neil had been nothing but supportive. He’d stayed with her and Sam most nights since then, ready to talk or listen or just be good company if she needed it.

But the situation remained a strain on their relationship. No matter how much positivity he projected, she knew very well the kind of scenario he saw for them. He’d said as much during their argument.

In his mind, they could be starting their life together. Living in two places had become a nuisance, especially when they were usually relegated to her smaller apartment. Moving in together and getting a house hadn’t really come up. Neither had marriage or long-term commitment or his adopting Sam. Hell, they’d barely talked about how to even characterize their relationship much less the 50-year life plan. They weren’t in a hurry.

Neil wanted all of those things. He’d never shied away from her knowing that even if he didn’t push her on it either. And it bothered him that it was Andrews and Isabel that forced the question of how much help she saw herself accepting from others. Claire could tell that he saw the two of them raising Sam together without the need of anyone else stepping in to pick up any slack.

That scenario didn’t address all of the issues raised though. Being with him didn’t make doing a regular residency any more feasible. He had too many responsibilities at the hospital with his residents and administrative duties. Being such a high-profile doctor, he stayed busy, often scheduled things last-minute. He had very little free time and jumped through hoops to make the time that he did for the two of them. Moving in together didn’t change that. At no point had they discussed him stepping back to help her establish her career.

And that’s the nagging detail of the situation. Getting back on track with her residency.

She wasn’t even sure Andrews could pull it off. But she didn’t doubt he’d rally hard for her. Something about what happened with the Chapman had really pissed him off. At first she'd thought it was some kind of grudge against the committee members from years ago when he'd been more involved. The way he talked about it, though, she suspected he didn't like the nepotism and mediocrity that characterized the fellows from the last few years. The winner was scheduled to be announced any day. She could see Andrews going on the warpath in retaliation – getting her back in the residency program, her own office, and a guaranteed job for life as angry as he’d been about the situation.

Sam squealed and patted her leg to point at a big golden retriever running on a leash a few feet away. The owner slowed down so Sam could take a longer look and smiled at the little boy. Sam seemed shy about getting too close, but the dog, sensing his interest, came right to him and laid down in front of him. She and the owner laughed as Sam reached out to pet the dog and giggled as the soft fur tickled his hand.

“Your son is adorable,” she said. “And brave. Not every kid is so bold approaching a dog this big.”

Claire didn’t feel the need to correct the woman as she beamed over at Sam.

“That he is. Very curious. How old is your dog?”

“Cosmo is almost four. And as you can see, he’s a sweetheart. They’re a great breed for kids.”

That conjured an image of Sam and Neil running around a backyard with a big dog trailing behind them. She smiled thinking about it.

“Thanks, I’ll have to keep that in mind. He seems so fascinated.” Sam had continued to pet the dog gently, pausing when Cosmo sniffled at him.

“Oh, he’ll be bugging you about it as soon as he’s old enough to form complete sentences. Get ready. I have twins so I got ambushed.”

Claire laughed. “Twins, wow. You didn’t stand a chance at all then.”

“No a one! But it worked out. Now Saturday mornings Cosmo and I have a stroll while the little urchins are at soccer practice at the field on the other side of the park. My wife valiantly handles soccer mom duties to give me the alone time.”

“How very noble of her. I told my partner that he’s in charge of soccer duties too when the time comes. But knowing him, he’ll be the one coaching. He can’t wait.”

Claire felt her heart flutter at the mental image of Neil managing the controlled chaos of Sam and a whole team of kids trying to learn soccer. The matching uniforms would be the best.

And she chuckled to herself about referring to Neil as her “partner.” He’d probably get a kick out of that.

“Well, they have a great program here if you’re ever interested. Speaking of which, I better get back to it.” She whistled softly to the dog who stood up and circled around here, ready to get back to it too. 

Sam had jumped at the abrupt movement but smiled again at seeing the dog bounce around his owner. “Wave bye-bye to Cosmo, Sammy.” The little boy happily complied. Claire turned to Cosmo’s owner. “Nice to meet you. I appreciate you and Cosmo being such good sports.”

“Hey, no problem. And nice to meet you too. Take care.” She waved back at Sam and continued on her way down the hill.

“Well, that was fun,” Claire said to Sam who watched the woman for another few moments before crawling around her to grab his water cup. “You thirsty?” she asked, reaching for it so he wouldn’t hurt himself climbing over her. Sam nodded and plopped back on his butt to drink his water.

She figured it was about time to go anyway. With all the snacks she’d given Sam, maybe they’d skip lunch and save their big meal for when Neil joined them later on.

Claire gathered up Sam’s toys while he drank his water and looked out at all the people passing by. There weren’t any dogs to draw his interest, but there were plenty of kids roaming around for him to look at. He didn’t object when she strapped him in the stroller to head home.

* * *

The rest of the afternoon was uneventful. Sam and Claire had another snack, still mostly full after their park excursion. Sam took a short nap and then they played inside for the afternoon. Sam loved crawling around the elaborate blanket fort they constructed together in the living room. When Neil walked in the door a few hours later, they were working on an abstract Play-Doh construction on Sam’s play mat. Neil went directly to her bedroom to change out of his suit and then joined them on the floor so Claire could get Sam’s dinner started.

She watched the two of them playing, Sam sitting happily in Neil’s lap as they worked together to shape part of whatever construction Sam was creating with the green and blue Play-Doh. Mostly Sam liked squishing his fingers in the pliable lump, but then he’d get very intent on molding it to whatever shape he envisioned in his one-year old brain. Neil would tease him by poking at the lump and Sam would laugh and push his hand away each time.

“Hey, are you hungry? We could all eat together tonight.” Usually, Sam ate too early for either of them, but she hadn’t eaten a real meal since the morning.

“I am actually,” Neil said. “My lunch got interrupted.” He examined her activities in the kitchen trying to see what she might be making.

“We ate all the chicken curry last night. But maybe dal? We still have a lot of rice.” She leaned against the kitchen entryway knowing exactly what response she’d get.

Neil grimaced. “Dal-Browne or dal-Melendez?” He made fun of her for how mild her dishes were when his preference leaned toward spicy and five-alarm hot.

Claire laughed, walking over to kiss him on the cheek. “We’ve been experimenting. “How about a Browne-Melendez compromise?”

Grinning, he leaned over to give her a peck on the lips then waggled his eyebrows suggestively. “That sounds very nice.”

She swatted him on the arm and stood back up to start preparing. He’d be fine entertaining Sam. He’d been looking forward to it all day, she knew.

Claire busied herself chopping and grinding various ingredients. She hadn’t been much of a cook before Sam. Her mother had been the one with the culinary skills learned from a childhood that she rarely talked about. But Claire had made an effort in the past months, and mastered a few dishes that didn’t require her to follow a strict recipe. It had become something relaxing as she’d taught herself baby-friendly sauces and curries and mashes during nap times.

As she began cooking the apartment filled with a pleasant smell and drew the attention of the two playmates in the other room.

“Sam is practically drooling over here,” Neil shouted to her from across the room. “He keeps trying to run in there to see what you’re doing. Maybe we’re both wrong and he’ll be a food critic or a chef.”

She laughed. “We can add that to the list of possibilities. Maybe make a wager on it.” She sat bowls of warmed rice and dal on the table for Neil and then prepared a bowl of food she’d share with Sam. It had a little bit of a kick that Sam had come to like. But she’d actually made a separate batch for Neil where she really went crazy.

Neil walked in and placed Sammy in his high chair. They enjoyed a fun dinner where Neil offered a surprise compliment to the chef. At the end of the meal, she admitted that she’d spiked his version, though he proclaimed her and Sam’s version not too bad.

Before long, bath time rolled around and Neil took over those duties, too. Sam still had a little more energy afterwards so they hung out with him in his room to wind down before bedtime. When Sam crawled into Neil’s lap, sleepy and only half-heartedly playing with his blocks, Neil knew that was his cue to get ready for the hand off. Neil picked Sam up when his eyelids started to flutter, rocking him into a good slumber. True to form, he wouldn’t settle unless Claire sang him to sleep, so he passed off the dozing little boy to her.

“I’ll go clean.” He kissed the top of her head and then kissed Sam noisily, making him giggle as he curled further into Claire. Then he left the room, closing the door behind him.

Ten minutes later, Sam lay sleeping in her arms as she reluctantly moved him to the crib. Though she figured she should join Neil to help with the cleaning, she couldn’t bear to pull herself away from Sam’s sleeping form.

The day felt like so many other days she’d had in the last few months. But the circumstances were anything but normal. She couldn’t keep stalling with Isabel and Andrews. It wasn’t fair to anyone. She had to make a decision about what she wanted. For Sam and for her. 

And for Neil.

She hadn’t worked out how much to admit to him yet. But she’d admit to herself, at least, that she saw her future with him, raising Sam together. A clear picture in her mind already saw him as a partner to her and guardian for Sam. Husband and Father.

Father. Did that decide the question about her as a Mother? Neil was right that it’s time she answered that for herself. 

She didn’t know how long she stood at Sam’s crib watching him. After a while, she heard the door open behind her.

They stood side-by-side as they stared down into the crib, each deep in their own thoughts of love and gratitude, sacrifice and family. All the things that had changed in such a short amount of time.

She watched as Neil leaned over the sturdy wooden crib, elbows resting against the rail and staring down at the blanket his mother had insisted on making when he’d told her about the baby. Nestled in the corner lay the stuffed Stanford Tree that she regularly threatened to burn as offensive to her UCSF honor. The monitor remained clipped to the corner in its usual nighttime spot. She remained still and quiet in the darkness, afraid to disturb the very air around her. She imagined that if Neil looked back, he’d recognize the intense gaze in her eyes, the softness brimming with emotion.

Sammy’s fingers curled and uncurled before resting back in slumber. His soft cheek, perfectly delicate and sculpted, ticked reflexively in sleep, perhaps dreaming about the hearty dinner he’d enjoyed a few hours ago. Every now and again his tiny nostrils flared with soft breaths through a nose everyone told her they shared.

She’d dressed him in her favorite pajamas, the plaid onesie Neil had bought at a baby store in Palo Alto. He well-knew that Sam didn’t need any new clothes when he’d bought it. But, ever the softie, he said he’d spotted the outfit in the window on the way to his tailor and couldn’t help himself.

Sam looked comfortable settled into the cushion of his warm bed and surrounded by his favorite stuffed animal friends. It filled her with pride and love that she could do that for him; keep him safe and happy and loved.

And she’d had lots of help.

She and Neil also remained comfortable taking him in, watching Sammy sleep for long minutes. Holding steady. Vigilant. Then Neil backed away, standing again at her shoulder.

She hadn’t wavered in her attention to the crib as the flicker of a smile played at her lips. Neil reached out for her, and she felt the brush of his hand, his fingers, and then his palm as he held onto her. He squeezed slightly and she leaned into him. The corners of her mouth turned up at the pleasure of his gesture.

When that wasn’t enough for Neil, he slipped his hand from hers and stepped back to embrace her from behind, pulling her softness and warmth to him. She melted into him, her view never leaving the crib. After a beat, she reached along his arms holding him so tightly to her; this time she took his hands, entwined their fingers, hanging onto him in return. He brushed a kiss to the top of her head, and she sighed against him.

Neil probably didn’t notice he did this when he held her, but he began rocking her, soothing her as only he could. It lulled her into accepting the love and safety he provided her and Sam. The total acceptance of them in his life. She could no longer imagine getting through her days without him. Without either of her boys.

Claire stopped their movements to lean in closer to the crib, watching Sam breathe, savoring each one. She felt as if she’d ended up right where she was always meant to be.

Huge decisions awaited them, and it was up to her to move them forward. This moment of contentment could last a lifetime, but it didn’t have to. They could have more.

Claire sighed once more, finally moving away and grabbing the monitor. Neil followed her out of the room, closing the door behind him.

* * *

Claire flopped down on the couch, Neil sliding in beside her. He’d picked up the toys from earlier, including the Play-Doh. He’d also re-folded the blankets from their afternoon of fort building, no doubt mildly exasperated by her sloppy folding.

Curling into him and resting her head on his shoulder, he immediately put his arms around her and propped his feet up on the ottoman.

“Okay,” she said, wrapping her harm around him in return.

“Okay?” he asked, confused.

“Okay, as in, I think I’m ready.”

She could feel Neil nodding where his head rested against hers. “You think you’re ready or you _are_ ready,” he asked, his amusement clear from his tone. Along with a touch of tension.

After she didn’t respond for a few moments, he lifted his head to look down at her. She returned his gaze and pulled slightly out of his arms, though not completely.

“I was in the park today with Sam, and we ran into this woman who had a dog Sam fell in love with.” Neil grinned, she knew imagining the scene. “Well, more like she ran into us. It wasn’t even a long conversation, small talk really. She was walking her dog while her wife watched over their twins at soccer practice.”

She noticed a faint longing in his eyes at her description and that made it easier for her to continue with what she had to say.

“I called you my ‘partner’” she admitted. As predicted, this amused him greatly. “I made some dumb joke about the soccer mom role being your job when Sam gets older. And there it was. I’d said it out loud.”

She looked him deeply in the eyes. “I want you to know that I heard you. That night when we argued. And I’m there too even if it scares the hell out of me. The house, the dog, the afternoons of you herding little kids around and calling it coaching.” Saying the words directly _to him_ out loud was terrifying. And freeing.

Neil’s eyes lit up at her description. He could hardly contain his happiness over the picture she'd painted. 

“I can go along with that," he said. An unexpected wave of relief washed over her. "In this near future vision of yours, Sam would be in the mix of course. Anyone else I should know about?” he asked coyly.

Claire grinned at him. “Maybe…” She was teasing him, and he knew it.

“Is it like a whole team of Browne-Melendez's or less ambitious?”

She hit him lightly in the chest. “Now that, you definitely know the answer to.”

They laughed together at the shared joke. After they’d recovered, he took her hand. “That sounds nice.”

“It does,” she replied squeezing his hand. Sighing, she looked away back toward Sam’s bedroom. “As for the timing?” She turned back to him. “I’m not quite ready yet. Some days I feel like we’re an old married couple, and some days …” She paused looking for the right words.

Neil laughed, totally understanding her point. “Sometimes, it feels like yesterday that we started this. I learn some new quirk of yours.”

“Or some new pet peeve of yours,” she added, amused. “There’s still a lot to get used to.”

Neil nodded. “And that’s been the fun part.”

“Yeah.” Claire hesitated again, unsure how to continue but knowing she had to find a way. “The woman at the park? She mentioned the routine they had on the weekends where her wife and the kids would do the soccer thing and she’d go on a long walk with the dog as her alone time. She didn’t sound guilty about it or anything. It was just a normal thing in their lives.”

Neil waited patiently for her to say more, sensing she was working up to something.

“Neil, I love Sam. I love you. And before either of you were in the picture, I loved being a surgeon. My priorities have changed, but that never has. These last four years of my career have been incredible.”

“You’ve been incredible,” Neil added. “And I’m not just saying that because I taught you everything you know.” She giggled at one of many well-worn jokes about his big ego.

“Strangely, it’s you and Sam that have taught me it’s not so bad to accept help; that relying only on myself can hurt too. I wasn’t always gracious about it, but before I knew it, I had Morgan and Shaun and Park finding sneaky ways to lend a hand. Glassman and Lim were working behind the scenes without me even realizing. Isabel wouldn’t let me keep her at a distance just like an annoying older sister would she told me. Andrews surprised me in staying close too. I didn't have a vocabulary for people like that in my life.

“And I definitely didn’t know all that was going to happen in those first days when I talked to you about my options. So, I chose the best compromise at the time. What Andrews and Isabel reminded me is that things change, and I can change too if I let myself. So, I want to … try something different. I’m terrified of failing Sam. I’m afraid of losing you. But I don’t want to have regrets. Maybe I try it and it’s too much. But …”

“But maybe you try it, and it makes you happy. And Sam.”

“And you?”

“This isn’t about me,” Neil said, shaking his head.

“Yes, it is,” she insisted. “Because I’m ‘there’ with you, remember? When I picture the everyday stuff with Sam, it's me and you waking up with him and tucking him in at night. I can make peace with asking for more help, talking to Andrews about more responsibility for my residency, relying on Isabel more. Relying on all our friends more, really. I don’t need a special arrangement to think of them as family.”

Neil seemed surprised about this part of her decision. She caught a mistiness in his eyes as he slowly smiled at her. “Claire, I—” She’d rarely seen him at a loss for words; she found it adorable. “I’m grateful. I’m ecstatic. And I’m scared too a little. Mostly I’m happy to hear that.”

Claire took a deep breath, calming her racing heart at what she’d admitted to this man she loved so much. “I know it’s not going to be easy.” She hesitated. “There are big decisions we need to make together.”

“If you mean about Sam and your responsibilities to him, you know I love him like my own. I’m looking forward to making that official.”

Claire smiled and caressed his cheek. “I know. It’s me that’ll need time to catch up with that idea.” Neil nodded, placing his hand over hers and kissing her palm. She looked away for a moment and then returned her gaze to his. “And it’s not just that,” she said, sighing. “I want us to talk about how we both need to adjust to a life together with Sam. And with Gabi, too. This goes both ways, and I feel a responsibility to her too. If I go back to a full-time residency, that means you'll have to pull back sometimes. Cut back on the last-minute surgeries and late nights. It’s hard for me to even ask given how much you’ve supported us—"

Instead, of responding, he leaned in and kissed her. Languidly and thoroughly. When he finally pulled away, he rested his forehead against hers.

“Okay,” he responded finally. No argument, no negotiation. Just acceptance.

Claire kissed his again, softly. “Okay. Just if you think I’m taking too much—”

Neil cut her off with another kiss. “You’re not ‘taking’ anything. I’m so proud of you,” Neil said, pulling her into his arms. “Accepting help is a big deal. You and Sam and Gabi are worth any price of admission. And we support each other from here on out.”

Nodding, Claire burrowed further into his arms, enjoying the safety of his embrace.

They sat together for another few moments, enjoying the quiet apartment and the comfort of their decision. They talked about the circumstances a little more – what he wanted from it, what it could look like; the compromises and the non-negotiables. They figured out what it meant to be ‘there’ with each other. It turned out to be more fun than either expected.

Then he led her to the bedroom. As they made love, they showed each other the devotion that they both hoped would always be a part of their future together.

* * *

The next morning as Neil got Sam dressed for the day and while she finished dressing herself, she heard her phone ring from across the room. Picking it up, she frowned in confusion seeing Isabel's name.

“I was going to call you this morning." Claire said, answering the phone. "I wanted to know if you and Andrews had time for dinner.”

“Oh, uh, actually we have to drive up to the East Bay this morning. I’m not sure when we’ll be back.”

“Is everything okay? I know your aunt's been sick.”

“Oh no, everyone’s fine. One of Marcus's cousins is in town, so everyone is doing an impromptu gathering. And we’ll do the rounds there while we’re there. We can come by now though.”

Claire panicked a little, worried that it wouldn’t give her the time she needed to think about how this conversation with them would go.”

“Oh uh, well, sure. Maybe. We’re going to see Neil’s sister in a couple of hours but free until then.”

“Good. We’re on our way out, so we’ll be over in about 15 minutes. See you then.”

Her head was spinning when she finally put the phone down. She realized that she’d forgotten to ask why she’d been calling in the first place.

Fifteen minutes later, after she’d relayed the conversation for Neil, Isabel and Andrews were in her apartment. Andrews sat on the floor as Sam showed him all his trains and Isabel sat on the couch watching them. Neil was tinkering around the kitchen to refill their coffees.

“Uh, I forgot to ask why you called this morning,” Claire said when they’d gotten their greetings out of the way. 

Isabel and Andrews shared a meaningful look. Isabel pulled something out of her purse. “Sam left this at the house, so we wanted to return it.”

Claire reached over and took the toy plane from her hand as if it were some strange, foreign object. It’s not that she didn’t appreciate it, but it hardly seemed worth a special trip. Andrews could have just brought it to work on Monday. Though proving her wrong, Sam rushed over as soon as he saw it and added it to the collection of items to show Andrews.

“Okay, I think Sam is very grateful for your consideration,” she chuckled nervously. She waited for Neil to return with their coffee before taking the chair next to her. “We wanted to talk to you anyway, you know, about your offer.”

Andrews perked up, though he kept his attention on the ongoing demonstration from Sam.

“First, I wanted to say how much I appreciate you reaching out. It’s really one of the kindest things anyone has done for me. In a year of surprisingly kind gestures from my friends. Despite my initial reaction,” she said, smirking a little at Andrews, “I am so grateful for all your support.”

Andrews smiled tightly at her as did Isabel.

“Claire, you’re torturing them. Look,” Neil said, grinning.

She stared between them and picked up on the tension underlying their veiled good cheer.

“Oh, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to,” she stammered. She took a deep breath. “What I meant to say is that it’s helped Neil and I figure out how we want to raise Sam together.” The couple still looked unsure of what that meant for them. "And I also hear you about accepting help. So, I want to do that. Figure out how you can help.”

Claire looked at Andrews. “You were right. I do want more from my residency. I’m hoping you can help Neil and I figure out how to do that if we adjust our schedules.” She then looked at Isabel. “But we know that relying more on you and sometimes our other friends is going to be a big part of whatever happens. You've become family to me. I need to start acting like it. And I know you care about Sam.”

“And you,” Isabel said.” Andrews nodded.

“And me,” Claire agreed, now grinning.

“What about me?” Neil asked in mock offense.

Andrews waved him away. “Eh, you’re alright, I guess.” Claire laughed. Sam looked among the adults talking and laughed too hearing Claire’s humor. He probably thought they were all fawning over him as usual, although not terribly far from the truth.

“I need to trust in that more," she said to Isabel. "There's so much I can learn from all of you. And Sam will get so much from being around the Oakland-by-way-of-Texas Andrews crew and your ... exuberant Guyanese family.”

Isabel scoffed. "I know Marcus called my family crazy. You don't have to hide it." Andrews' suddenly found Sam's toy pile very intriguing. Although Isabel tried to play it cool, Claire could see the emotions in her eyes. “Claire, whatever we can do to be a resource. It means so much to us. And I really think we’ll all get a lot out of it. But for now, Marcus and I will have a chance to heal while still looking forward again.”

“And maybe we can get you a little closer to taking advantage of every opportunity you deserve," Andrews added. "Live up to every bit of potential as a surgeon and as Sam’s mom.”

Claire glanced at Neil, who smiled at her sweetly. “We think so too.”

“Speaking of which,” Andrews said, handing Sam his plane again, “as much as he loves this toy, it’s not actually why we came over. We lied. I have news.”

Claire looked again to Neil who shrugged in ignorance. Isabel gestured for him to continue, exasperated at his impatience.

“I got a call last night about the Chapman.” Claire groaned and she noticed Neil tensing as well. “Hear me out," he said holding up a hand to ask for patience. "I'll cut to the chase. The supposed winner and the runner-up were disqualified. That's why the announcement has taken so long. Turns out they’d falsified their service record.”

Claire sat in shock. She turned to Neil who looked equally as disturbed.

“I know,” Andrews continued. “It’s pretty scandalous.”

“Did you have anything to do with unearthing this revelation,” Neil asked.

Andrews scoffed. “I wish. That would have been satisfying. But no. Although I did probably make enough noise to get the committee to take a good look before announcing.” He turned his attention back to Claire. “There’s more. The second runner up took himself out of the race. He accepted a fellowship in Paris. He’s already moved over there. So that leaves …”

“That leaves …?” Claire prodded.

“That leaves the third runner-up. You.”

Claire froze, again shocked. “Me? Seriously?”

“Don’t sound so surprised. You should have been a shoe-in in the first place.”

“Marcus,” Isabel warned.

“Right. Okay. Listen, what we’ve just talked about doesn’t have to weigh into your decision on it. I know you had reservations before about accepting, and I want to respect that. I won’t pressure you into—”

“No, I want to do it,” Claire said, cutting him off. She turned to Neil. “We can make this work, right?” Now it’s Andrews and Neil looked flabbergasted. “What? You two were the main ones pushing me to do it. And now you’re speechless.”

“No, I just didn’t expect you to …” Neil stammered.

“… get there without a fight,” Andrews finished. He chuckled and then Neil joined in, followed by Isabel. Sam, heretofore playing quietly, started giggling too, clapping his hands in delight. Andrews reached down to tickle him into further peals of laughter. “That’s right, Sammy, your sister has some sense after all.”

“Why thank you, Dr. Andrews.”

He scowled. “You know you could finally start calling me Marcus off the clock. You’ve already made an exception for Melendez and Isabel.”

Claire shook her head. “Nope, too weird. Andrews is fine. I’ve always called Isabel by her first name.”

“And Melendez?” Andrew challenged, smirking.”

“Mind your own business, _Marcus_ ,” Neil admonished.

“Whatever. Babe?” he said to Isabel. She checked her watch. “I think we have to run. You two figure out how you wanna play this and let us know. And we’ll go to Glassman on Monday to figure out how we’re going to handle the Chapman situation. I think Lim is going to approve Stemler’s research project and it’s a great excuse to reevaluate your residency. He stood up and rubbed his hands together. “It has been a beautiful morning, people. I love a few good wins.”

Claire shook her head at him. Classic Andrews. She went to pick up Sam so they could walk the couple to the door. “It _has_ been a nice morning, hasn’t it? I’m excited.”

Neil stood at her shoulder, beaming down at her. “Me too.” Although he’d meant it for the group, he kept his eyes firmly on Claire and Sam.

“Ugh, you two are worse than us,” Andrews said. “Come on Iz. Let’s go before the sugar shock sets in.”

Isabel rolled her eyes, but gave Claire and Sam a big hug. She squeezed Neil’s arm and then followed her husband out. “We’ll talk later.”

“Yes,” Claire agreed. “We can’t wait.”

She closed the door and turned back to Neil. He took her in his arms and they stood there holding each other, Sam between them.

“You heard the man. We’re winners today,” Neil said, kissing her forehead and Sam’s too.

“That we are,” Claire agreed.

She put a squirming Sam down on the ground, and they stood at the entryway watching him toddle back to his toys. When he arrived, he turned back and called out to them to come play.

They looked at each other and shared a smile before happily joining their kid for a morning of fun.

_TBC..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for weathering these last tough conversations as Claire and Neil work out what kind of family they want to be. In writing this, I outlined several possible decision trees, and they all have good arguments and pitfalls. I look at it as there being no "right" answer or rather multiple right answers. There's what's best for the characters and their circumstances at a given time. 
> 
> In having things unfold this way, I don't want to suggest that choosing to share primary caregiving duties is abnormal or not desirable - it's pretty common and ideal for a variety of reasons that I very much support. There are a lot of ways to be a good parent and a lot of ways to be family.
> 
> It's been fascinating for me to edit this so long after initially writing it - with a pandemic raging in the meantime. It's influenced my original thoughts on how the different scenarios could work. Caregivers are trying things they wouldn't have considered before 2020. I think it's been useful for understanding the hard choices a lot of people have to make and common practices that some may not have considered or tried before now. Interesting times, indeed. 
> 
> I appreciate you hanging in there!


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost to the end. But as usual here's about four chapters in one. 
> 
> Getting down the wire, it's really cool to think of how this all came together. I started the story so long ago and it's gone through some twists and turns - much like the characters, I guess. This chapter especially has echoes of ideas that were in my outline but were cut for one reason or another (to potentially revisit if I feel the inspiration). 
> 
> And at the end of the day, this will be almost a novel-sized work. What a thing. Thanks for the support and company along the way.

Neil checked his phone for any last-minute messages before getting into his car. He’d had to look in on a patient, and with that done, the rest of the day was his.

It’d been a hectic week. He couldn’t wait to spend the rest of the weekend relaxing and maybe catching up on sleep. He’d taken over getting Sam up in the mornings while Claire slept in following several of her late nights at the hospital. After a few of those early rises, he wasn’t sure he could call himself a morning person anymore. Up until now, he’d never quite noticed how chipper and active Sam could be at the start of the day.

First things first: picking up Claire and Sam at Isabel’s house. Claire had experienced a particularly hard night. She and Andrews were in surgery for hours on a patient where one thing after another had gone wrong. They’d fix one problem and then another stressor on the patient’s body would require attention. After crashing twice, they’d lost the patient on the table.

The death had orphaned the three kids she’d left behind, her husband having died of cancer five years previously. Claire had been heartbroken.

Of course, he’d found this out in bits and pieces as he’d been in an O.R. down the hall dealing with his own problems. Thankfully, his patient had survived and was currently resting comfortably.

With the both of them out of commission, Isabel had gladly stepped in, picking up Sam from daycare and keeping him with her for the night. After her patient’s loss, Claire wanted to be closer to Sam, understandably. Since they’d driven in together that morning, she’d gotten a ride with Andrews and slept over there rather than wake the little boy up to take him home. In fact, Neil had suggested it so she could get some rest and be there for Sam when he woke up.

For his trouble, he’d gotten a lonely night in his own home, a rarity these days. They’d spent the last few weeks trying to figure out how to handle that.

It’s not that he didn’t enjoy playing house with Claire and Sam – he loved it. But her small two-bedroom apartment had started to burst at the seams. Claire laughed at his attempts to hide his irritation at stepping over toys and cramming his suits among all her and Sam’s things. She’d grown up in the tight quarters of a trailer, so she was used to not having a lot of space. He, however, had become very spoiled with his spacious home that now sat empty most days.

After a particularly frustrating back and forth to pick up clothes and sitting down to pay the bills on a home he didn’t see more than a couple times a week, he floated the idea of pursuing step one of the Melendez-Browne future family plan: house hunting.

It hadn’t been as painful as he’d thought. They’d set the ground rules and negotiated very clear terms. That she felt good about the process was important to him.

First came the hardest part – figuring out a budget. They’d agreed that he’d sell his house, and the market was in great shape for making a significant profit due to his upgrades. That gave them a lot to work with. Given the different places they were in their careers, though, he was in a better position to front the majority of their budget. She didn’t like the idea of an inequitable investment.

He basically told her to get over it. Nicely, of course.

Whether they got a starter home or something closer to a forever home, he didn’t want them to settle. Money wasn’t the only value she’d bring to house-hunting; they could find other ways for her to contribute to the investment. Their compromise: they’d go with his budget but she’d get to furnish it. It made sense since a lot of his stuff would not work with a kid in the house, and she seemed best suited to make good choices on that front. His only demand: they get a new bed that they'd choose together.

As they began looking through websites and attending open houses, Claire had been a little hesitant at first to voice her preferences. That didn’t last long as she quickly got in the swing of things. He’d successfully persuaded her to get a little decadent, shyly admitting her love of big bathtubs and backyard patios. When she made a flippant comment about being “over” marble countertops, he’d dramatically lamented the monster he'd created

Otherwise, she’d been amenable to his tastes. She didn’t love the idea of the multi-story homes that he favored yet had come around to keeping it as an option. Ideally, they’d have three bedrooms minimum but hoped for a fourth to allow plenty of space for Gabi to visit and a room for an office until they were ready to talk about possibly expanding their family. They’d quibbled over pool or no pool and distance from work; agreed on which neighborhoods had the most desirable schools for their values. That had been an unintentionally valuable conversation about their divergent Catholic school experiences, Neil having gone K-12 while Claire had switched to public school after the sixth grade. He’d ended up agreeing with her preference for public school.

Luckily, their most enthusiastic home-buying cheerleader was Neil’s best friend Joe who also happened to be an ace realtor. He’d thrown himself into their little project, sending regular options that they’d go over in the evenings.

It’s still amazing to him that they’d gotten to this point. When he’d been with Jessica, he’d had such a clear, rigid idea of the family he wanted to build. It included an idealized vision of a church wedding and being by her side during pregnancy and childbirth. They’d live in their elegant house and raise elegant children who’d grow up to also be doctors and lawyers.

So much for that. Life can be really funny in its twists.

Even a couple of years ago, he hadn’t been ready to appreciate the different ways that people can become family. He hadn’t been as open to accepting a non-biological child as anything other than settling. Yet what he had now felt as satisfying as anything he’d imagined previously. It felt unconventional but also earned. Whether he and Claire had other kids or not, he’d never consider Sam as ‘less than.’ And they’d always have a special relationship, he and Sam. Or at least Neil hoped they would.

His parents certainly considered it a fulfillment of grandchildren after they'd visited and shared their future plans. Claire convinced him to use their next steps as an opportunity to do better with his long-standing family relationships, too.

Neil mused on the latest batch of houses they’d checked out recently as he drove, making mental notes of things they should consider going forward. He could see them finding something soon. They’d gotten their feet wet putting in an offer on one house where they correctly suspected getting outbid. Another house sold right before they put in their offer. He accepted that the process might take a while, yet it felt like they just needed to get their timing right.

He pulled into the driveway of Marcus and Isabel’s house, chuckling to himself again at the drama he’d heard about their house-buying and remodeling adventures. Though an absolutely gorgeous home, it wasn’t exactly his or Claire’s style. It seemed made for entertaining, that’s for sure. He mostly wanted something comfortable and spacious that he and Claire could grow into.

Texting her to announce his arrival, Claire met him at the door and he followed her inside. While Sam’s things were in their usual spot by the door, the silence in the house seemed suspicious.

“Sorry I got held up. The lab wouldn’t fast-track my results, and it took a while.”

Claire wandered into the living room where Isabel sat scrolling through her phone. Two mugs sat at the table, and he could tell they’d been catching up.

“You shouldn’t have annoyed Nina last week. You know she holds a grudge,” Claire teased. "Get comfortable, though, because Sam just went down for his nap ten minutes ago. He couldn’t hold out.”

Isabel picked up her mug, legs tucked cozily underneath her on the couch. “He got up obscenely early this morning. He’s probably the most well-rested of all of us. And then he conked out faster than a first-year resident after a 36 hour shift.”

Neil laughed. “Well, that’s toddler life.” He took a seat next to Claire. “You doing okay?” he asked her, rubbing her arm. "You couldn’t have gotten much sleep if you were up early with him.”

Claire smiled. “I’m good. Thankfully, Auntie Izzy held down the fort until I became coherent enough to look after another human being.”

Looking around, Neil also noticed an absence of Andrews in the mix. “Is Marcus still sleeping?”

“He calls it ‘napping’,” Isabel explained. “He had trouble falling asleep last night so he didn’t really get to bed until right before Sam was waking up. He joined us briefly for lunch and then disappeared again.”

“I can’t say I blame him,” Neil replied. “It’s a good day to be curled up inside.” The skies had been gloomy all morning, although he didn’t remember seeing rain in the forecast. The humidity had turned the air outside warm and sticky.

Neil’s phone buzzed with an incoming text. From Joe. He hesitated before responding and slipped it back into his pocket.

Turning to Claire, he said, “Hey, since Sam’s down for the count, you want to go on a little field trip.” She frowned in confusion. “Let’s go for a walk. I need to stretch my legs after being cooped up all morning." He turned to Isabel. “Is that okay? We should be back before Sam wakes up. He’s been going for at least an hour and a half for the past few weeks.”

“No problem,” Isabel replied. “Maybe I can join Marcus for that nap.”

“You did have an early morning. Go,” Claire said, waving her toward the stairs. “I have my key with me.”

Isabel nodded, yawning as she slowly made her way up the stairs and toward the back of the house.

Claire turned to him. “A walk, huh? You wouldn’t by chance be planning some sort of romantic stroll would you?”

Laughing, Neil took her hand and pulled her to her feet. “In this weather? Hardly. But seriously, I could use some physical activity. I haven’t been to the gym since Thursday morning. I’m wasting away!”

Claire laughed. “Aww, you poor beefcake. We can’t have that. Let me just put shoes on and we can go.” Neil excused himself to hit the bathroom before heading out and met her at the door.

* * *

The first few minutes of their walk were leisurely. They could definitely feel the weight of the humidity, but the air seemed fresh and clean even if a little too moist. After they rounded the first block, he took her hand. Claire rolled her eyes but didn’t retreat.

“How are you holding up?” he asked after they’d made small talk about Sam for a while. “I can imagine you were pretty broken up about your patient. And so close to the anniversary of your mom’s death.”

That’d been a couple of weeks ago. According to Claire’s therapist, it was important that they talk openly about the significance of it to take some of the stigma away from the occasion. In the frenetic pace of the last couple of months, the anniversary came and went without much fanfare. They both had been busy at work, which Neil thought fortuitous.

Later that night as they put Sam to bed, he’d asked if she needed anything, some ritual or commemoration that would help her healing.

She’d thought about it for a few moments and shook her head. Through therapy, she’d worked on moving past her hurt and anger. In order to do that, she’d had to close off many of the emotional connections to her mother. Preserving her memory for Sam was her priority, and at an age where he wouldn’t remember anything one way or another, it didn’t seem like the right time to delve too deeply into it. And he suspected that she wasn’t ready for that either.

But when he checked the monitor after she’d taken longer putting Sam down than usual, he found her sitting in the chair rocking Sam to the sound of her mother's singing voice coming from her phone. Sam clung to her, eyes heavy but listening along with her.

Thinking about how she wanted to respond to his question, Claire was silent for a few moments as they walked.

“I’m okay, I think. I’m sad. Telling the family was hard. The patient’s father was there with the oldest of her kids.”

Neil squeezed her hand in comfort and support. He’d certainly been there before, would be there again many times. It never got easy. “From everything I heard from Lim, you did all you could.”

She nodded. “We did. I think that’s why I can be okay now. Andrews and I went through every option we could think of and then some. She got the best care anyone could have given her. I feel confident in that.”

“Good,” he said, squeezing her hand again.

They walked along comfortably silent for a few more minutes. “It’s good to be back as a full-time surgical resident, but if there’s one thing I miss from before is not having as many times like these. Your patient mortality rate is pretty sweet when you’re not doing anything more serious than a routine gall bladder surgery,” she joked.

He chuckled with her. “That’s certainly true. I know you wouldn’t trade it though.”

“I would not,” she quickly assured him. She sighed. “It surprised me, the shock of it. I knew in my head, of course, that I’d lose more patients. But I guess I hadn’t really prepared myself.”

“Well, you did kind of get thrown back into the swing of things. It’s not like you had time to prepare for any of it with us visiting my parents, figuring things out with Sam, working out your commitments for the Chapman—”

“Playing sneaky tricks on me about my rotation,” she added. He only grinned, clearly not sorry at all.

Claire had returned as a full-time surgical resident a month ago, working out a semi-regular schedule to ensure either one or the other of them would be able to do drop-offs and pick-ups for Sam. So far, nights like the previous one were rare when neither of them could get away.

The original plan involved adding Claire to Dartling’s fourth-year resident team after all. One of his residents had transferred to another city to be closer to an ailing parent, so he had the space. She’d be ahead of them, but that meant she’d need less supervision. In turn, she’d serve as a supervisory role if needed as the others logged in their first solo surgeries. Dartling’s current residents had been skeptical, thinking of her as competition for chief resident in their class, but Claire assured them that she didn’t want that role – and honestly wouldn’t need it given the experience she’d get otherwise.

Everything had been approved internally and the paperwork signed. All Claire had to do was show up on the first day ready to go. Claire herself hadn’t been informed of the specifics, but everyone knew it was happening.

She’d arrived on the first day of her assignment reporting to Lim so they could meet her new team together. She’d told him later that they’d chatted amiably on the way to Dartling’s conference room, joking about some crazy adventure Lim had gone on the weekend before. So distracted by the story, Claire didn’t notice that they'd gone the long way around. Dartling’s team usually set up in the suite at the end of the hallway opposite to Melendez, Andrews, and her old team. They’d pass them on the way.

Neil spotted them as he approached from the opposite direction. He joined them as they turned the corner, walking slightly ahead.

_‘Did you do this on purpose?’ Claire asked Lim. ‘Neil is such a mother hen checking up on me.’ Lim laughed._

_They’d just seen each other, too, when he’d driven her to work with Sam. He’d dropped her off at the side entrance with a kiss before driving away to park, allowing her to drop Sam at daycare before her workday started._

_“Dr. Browne. Dr. Lim,” he greeted over his shoulder._

_Rounding the corner, she could see Neil’s team assembled in the resident’s lounge, probably waiting for Neil to do their morning briefing before rounds. None of them were even looking in her direction so distracted by their phones, tablets, and laptops._

_He caught Claire’s chastising grin until suddenly he and Lim stopped at the lounge door and opened it. When Lim gestured her inside after Neil, that grin turned to confusion. Everyone at the conference table turned when they came in, directing their attention to her._

_‘Uh, what’s going on?’ she asked._

_‘Like I said, I’m escorting you to your new team,’ Lim responded. Claire looked back at the group at the table. She now noticed their smug expressions of amusement, even Shaun. And especially Neil himself._ _  
_

_‘I don’t understand. I thought I was going to Dartling’s team.’_

_Lim shrugged. ‘That was the plan originally. But plans change.’_

_‘Specifically, we just found out that Dr. Cooperberg is having a baby in the fall so Dartling is getting her residents,’ Neil added. He rather enjoyed the cute look of shock on her face._ _  
_

_Even Claire winced at hearing that. She had to know that two extra residents plus her would be painful. It’s surprising Dartling hadn’t quit on the spot after hearing that news._

_‘So we went back and forth about it,’ Lim explained._

_‘More like Andrews went on the warpath,’ Neil snarked._

_Lim glared at him._ _‘Anyway, we talked it through with the senior team, Glassman, the board, and HR and found a perfectly reasonable solution to the problem.'_ _  
_

_Claire looked over at her former – maybe now current – co-residents. Then she glanced at Neil. ‘How is this possible? I can’t believe HR would be okay with this.’_

_‘Oh, they don’t love it,’ Morgan offered. ‘Which is why we all met with them to assure them we are perfectly fine with you coming back. No concerns of favoritism,” she added with a smirk. Claire looked skeptical._

_‘I talked to everyone involved personally, both together and separately,” Lim said._

_‘And Dr. Glassman also talked to us,’ Shaun said. ‘I did my meeting over dinner.’ That kind of proved the ways in which the hospital could be rather loose about their staff fraternization rules._

_‘Obviously, we’ll be watching closely over the next several months to make sure things are working. I trust everyone involved can act in a professional manner,’ Lim said, directing her comments toward Neil. He crossed his arms defensively; he didn’t appreciate her constant teasing about being the weak link in that equation. ‘You already know chief resident is out. I’ll be announcing that choice next week. And you’ll have to log some extra surgical hours throughout the year to get caught up. But I think you’ll be able to work that out with your team.’_

_Claire looked completely flustered. After all, Andrews had said he’d go to bat for her, but this stroke of luck and maneuvering outdid anything either of them could have imagined. Though pleased with the outcome, for obvious reasons, he’d had to stay out of the negotiations._

_Park grinned at her speechlessness. ‘It’s our last year. We’re practically done with the program. It’s an unconventional arrangement, yes, but we know you can handle it. And so can we. It’s only right that we hit the finish line together.’ His grin then turned into a smirk. ‘Besides, I can’t see Melendez being any sweeter on you than before things switched up. At least he’s had a year to learn how to behave.’_

_Neil scoffed. ‘I guess I’m the designated punching bag today?’_

_‘Yes,’ everyone but Claire replied. Then they all laughed._

_Neil could have scolded himself for letting his team get away with being so insubordinate. Instead, he appreciated that everyone was comfortable enough with each other to poke fun in a good-natured way._

_‘So, Browne, what do you say?’ Lim asked._

_Neil watched Claire glance around the room, taking in the happy, eager faces of her friends and colleagues. Her gaze finally rested on his, and he have her a slight but confident nod.’_

_‘I say, let’s get to work.’ Claire joined them at the table, taking the tablet in Shaun’s hand from him to check out the latest patient who’d fascinated him._

Neil laughed again thinking of that day. “We got you so good.”

“I’d like to think I got my revenge on you later that night,” Claire said slyly.

He laughed. “I’m sure you’d like to think that. Only problem is I seem to recall finding that punishment rather enjoyable.”

She nudged him, letting their connected hands swing slightly afterward. They chatted as they strolled through the neighborhood, passing beautiful houses and lush green spaces with playgrounds and walking paths. Although their route seemed idle, Neil gently steered her through a park past a small lake lined with benches and wandering ducks. They soon found themselves in the neighboring residential area full of older but still lovely family homes that sat on decently-sized plots of land.

Claire brushed against him as she glanced up to the sky, probably checking for any looming rainfall for the overcast day. “It’s really nice over here. Joe said houses in this neighborhood sell in hours – on the rare occasion that anything even opens up.”

They passed an elementary school as they turned the corner and took in the array of one-story and two-story homes on the block. In the distance, some kids rode their bike down the street, shouting to each other in play. The faint smell of a smokey grill drifted past them every now and then.

“It’s funny you should mention that.”

They stopped at a house with a sprawling front yard that sported a “For Sale” sign.

“Neil?” Claire questioned. “What’s going on? You know how much I _love_ surprises.” Walking across the driveway and toward the entrance, he watched as recognition slowly registered in her expression. “I thought Joe said this place sold three weeks ago?”

They’d seen pictures of this house in a package of listings Joe had shared early in the process. When they clicked on the link, the site showed that it had already sold for an amount way beyond their price range. They still flipped through the pictures, though, and Claire had been dazzled by it, pointing out this feature or that highlight. She especially liked the master bathroom. They’d mentioned it to Joe anyway as a place that had a lot of what they were looking for.

“Apparently, something fell through, and Joe hopped on it. I get the feeling he called in some favors. He texted me that we could take a look around before the open house tomorrow morning.”

“The two of you love setting me up a little too much,” she said. He didn’t detect any annoyance, only a growing excitement. He opened up the lock box using the code Joe had given him and let them into the house, returning the key as she went inside.

The spacious, bright foyer was the first thing they both noticed as they walked in. Despite the gloomy day, a burst of sunshine peeking out from the clouds filled the farther reaches of their line of sight, probably from the back yard. They stood at the entrance, Claire turning in a circle, taking it all in and probably figuring out which direction to go in first.

After letting the moment sink in, Neil grabbed her hand again. “Let’s take a look in real time.”

First, they peeked into a small formal living room off of the main entrance. It had a nice view of the front yard. When they’d first seen the pictures, they figured it would make a nice office. It was probably easy enough to maybe add some French doors for privacy. They peeked down a short hallway next to it to see a half bath and a laundry room tucked away.

They turned the other direction toward the source of the fleeting sunshine to see a large family room that curved into a formal dining room. It had plenty of room for them to have a more traditional entertaining area and maybe a play area for Sam. They noticed the entrance to the stairwell for the second level but ignored that for the time being to further explore the first floor. 

The formal dining area then connected to the kitchen on the other side of a door to access the back yard.

“I know you're not gonna want to hear this, but you might have to get rid of your table,” Claire said. "I'm not sure it's going to fit."

Neil shrugged. “We were going to have to get rid of it anyway. The corners are too sharp for Sam.” Claire couldn’t quite hide the look of surprise at his benign response – she usually provided the voice of reason on that kind of thing. “Hey, I had to childproof the house for the birthday party. Trust me, I already know what the problem areas are.”

They circled the kitchen noting the large island and cabinet space. They then moved past the kitchen to peek into the pantry at the other end of the hallway they'd first encountered and noted the entrance to the garage. Around another corner, they encountered a bedroom and bathroom tucked in the back.

“I think Gabi would like this for a bedroom,” Neil offered. Claire smiled and nodded.

They made their way upstairs to find a small bonus area at the top and two more bedrooms connected by a Jack and Jill bathroom. When they got to the master bedroom, he went straight to the walk-in closet to make sure they wouldn’t have to fight each other for space. She shook her head and left him to it as she checked out her real prize in the master bathroom.

Neil took a few mental measurements thinking about how he’d have to reconfigure things to keep his meticulous system. Claire had already made it known that since she wasn’t a diva like him, she didn’t need that much space and would accommodate him. Satisfied, he retreated to the main room, noticing the light coming in from the front and the absence of Claire.

When he found her in the bathroom, she’d slipped off her shoes and crawled into the huge tub below the window. It had a ledge that’d be perfect setting down a book or candles or a glass of wine.

“Oh, Neil, this is what I’m talking about.” He laughed seeing her completely submerged fully clothed into the empty tub. She looked up at his amused face. “You want to test it out with me,” she asked reaching for him.

Grinning down at her, he shook his head. “No, it seems you’ve got that covered. But I’m happy to inform you that the closet meets my specifications.”

“What a miracle!” she joked. Sighing, she scrambled up and hopped over the edge of the tub to stand next to him. “I could just live in here. You can have the rest of the room.”

He scoffed. “You say that now, but the second you get cold, you and your icy feet are going to come running under the covers to me.” She giggled as she sat on the edge of the tub and put her shoes back on, knowing he was right.

They made their way back downstairs. “Now that you’ve shown me paradise, are you keeping the price a secret from me because you know I’ll freak out?” Claire asked.

He could tell that she loved the place and was bracing herself for the disappointment of reality stomping all over their budget.

“I just want you to take a look and give an honest opinion. Even though it was out of reach when we first saw it, we still got a lot out of looking through the pictures.”

“So, yes, Joe did tell you, but you aren’t telling me.” Neil smirked in response, not denying it.

They wandered outside to check out the backyard. It had a modest-sized pool with an automatic cover, which Claire appreciated. Yet it included enough space for Sam to run around safely without her worrying about an accident. They could even put a playset in one corner of the yard if they wanted. The patio area had enough space for entertaining and his indoor patio furniture would work well out here. He also noted that they couldn’t immediately see their neighbors, which he really loved.

Out in the open space, they could hear faint sounds of the neighborhood – a car driving past, a hint of kids voices carrying on the wind, animals scurrying around. But it mostly seemed very peaceful.

They took a seat on the shaded patio to process everything they’d seen. “We’ve seen houses with more square footage,” Claire said. “But we haven’t seen a yard like this yet.”

“That’s true. It has some bonus spaces that we can use as a play area, though,” he said, thinking of the spot at the top of the stairs.

“Claire chuckled. “You’d love that so you can keep the downstairs area all posh and clean to your pristine, high-brow specifications.”

“You bet,” he replied, making them laugh. They both knew that Sammy would have complete run of the house and there was nothing they could do about it.

Claire frowned. “I’m still nervous about the stairs. I guess I could get used to it.”

“We can take precautions to make sure Sam is safe and you’re comfortable. The pool’s okay with you, though?”

Nodding, Claire glanced back at the bright blue-tinted water next to the yard. “It has a cover and a good line of sight from the patio.” She then shook her head. “We’re talking as if we’re going to pull the trigger. You haven’t even told me whether I’m going to blow a gasket hearing the price.”

So, Neil told her.

“Okay, I’m not exactly erupting. That’s not as bad as I expected. But Neil, come on. That’s still way out of our budget range even with the price drop.”

Neil looked out toward the mature trees at the far part of the yard. He wondered if they could hang a swing from one of them. Gabi would love that.

“It is definitely out of the budget,” he agreed. He turned back to her. “But I can tell you love it. And we should be willing to make exceptions for the things we love.”

Claire smiled. “You are something else,” she said. “But I think we should pass. It’s too much.”

Neil took her hand. “I know it’s a bit of a stretch. We can afford it, though. It’s a great neighborhood. Good schools. Isabel is within walking distance. And Marcus too, but we shouldn’t let that stop us,” he teased.

“We set a budget for a reason,” she argued. “I don’t think I feel comfortable putting more into our pot. We’d have to dip into what we set aside to furnish the house.”

“I’m not asking you to put more into the pot or dip into the furniture pool. I got this. I’m hoping I can convince you to get comfortable with that.”

Claire kissed him on the cheek and looped her arm around his. “Neil, I love how much you enjoy taking care of me and Sam. But there are other things we could do with that extra money that I think are more important.”

Sighing, he slumped in his seat next to her, before turning back to her grinning. “Like a big wedding?”

She rolled her eyes knowing he’s making fun of her. “I don’t think so.”

They hadn’t really talked about it too seriously, taking things one step at a time. She had shared with him that she didn’t see herself in a big, elaborate affair, though she’d agreed to let him have a few traditional flairs.

“How about a few kids,” he offered, winking at her.

She laughed. “Maybe. If you had your way, we’re going to need to save _a lot_ of money for that.

“Like a whole soccer team’s worth of Melendez-Brownes?”

“You wish, but no way! You’ll have to quit being a surgeon and become a full-time coach.”

“Sounds like fun,” he said, kissing her along the knuckles.

She snatched her hand back. “Don’t try to sweet-talk me on this. We still have to sell your place and this house is going to go quickly. Really, Neil, I know we’ll find the right place for us. I won’t regret letting this one go in the name of practicality.”

He was about to further argue the point when another voice emerged.

“Of course, you won’t have to settle when you have the best realtor on the planet.” Joe strolled out on the patio and joined them in the chair next to the bench they sat on. He stretched his legs out and put his hands behind his head looking comfortable and smug.

They both smiled over at Neil’s friend. “Is this some kind of ambush?” Claire asked, chuckling.

“A lot of good it did,” he answered. “Sorry, Joe, she’s being annoyingly stubborn and responsible about our investment.”

“So just your type then,” he said, teasing Neil. “Seriously, though, I wouldn’t play with you like that. Why not see if we can work something out?”

“What happened with this place anyway? The listing we saw said it had sold. And for a lot more.” Claire looked just as curious.

Joe shrugged. “Reading between the lines, I’d say the buyer came in big with a cash offer and then lost his financing. The place is overvalued anyway at the price he paid so maybe that had something to do with it too.”

That got Neil’s attention – he could tell Joe knew it would. “Overvalued by how much?”

“Look, if you’re serious and willing to stretch your budget a tiny bit, we could go in at $30,000 below asking even with the price drop. It's in good shape, but it's got the original roof and HVAC, water heater too probably."

Neil looked to Claire. That price definitely still counted as above their agreed upon budget, even if only by a few thousand. Hope grew again that maybe he could convince her.

“I don’t know, Neil …”

“Just ask yourself this. Would you have regrets if we don’t try? They can say no and we walk away. But if they say yes …”

Claire turned to Joe. “What about the cash deal part of that situation. We’d still have to sell Neil’s house to make it work.”

Joe chuckled. “About that. Check your email, Neil.”

Neil pulled out his phone and opened up the new email from his friend. “You got an offer? Over asking price?”

“I told you I’m the best!” Joe crowed. “And it helps that you’re never there, so the place is in excellent shape and I can show it like crazy. Bidding war for the win.”

Turning to Claire, he showed her the email. He could see a bit of panic and fear in her eyes. But there was also a tiny bit of excitement. At least she’s considering it.

“So if this is right,” Claire said, directing her question to Joe. “We sell Neil’s house and we break even?”

“Yep. Easy peasy, thanks to my brilliance.”

“Claire?” Neil said. “Look around.” She complied, taking in the pool and the yard, looking up at the windows that overlooked the entire area. She paused on the same tree he’d been eyeing earlier.

She sighed. “I guess I can see us here,” she said coyly. “Do you think we could put a swing there? Gabi might enjoy that.” Neil beamed at her as she pointed to the same tree he noted earlier.

“I thought the same thing,” he confirmed, squeezing her hand. “Come on, what do you say?”

She glanced back at Joe, who smiled neutrally, before returning her attention to Neil. “Are you sure about this?”

“Stop stalling, Browne! I’m beyond sure.”

Taking a deep breath. “Okay, let’s do it.”

“Yes!” he and Joe said at the same time. They all laughed at the enthusiasm.

Joe stood up. “One more thing. Follow me.” Claire and Neil trailed him inside to the kitchen area. “Open that drawer there.”

Neil opened the drawer and found a few bundles of paper secured by binder clips.

“Because I am an amazing friend as well as a realtor, when I heard about this property coming back on the market, I called up the seller’s agent and sweet-talked him into giving me first dibs. Turns out you have a compelling story. Promising surgeon upending her career to raise her orphaned brother; two friends and colleagues falling in love and starting a life together. Some people might find that swoon-worthy.”

Neil flashed Claire a smirk, which she intentionally ignored.

“I already knew you were in love with this place. You kept gushing over it whenever I showed you something new. By the time I talked to the agent, I knew your place was gonna sell. I called up Felicia, had her do her thing.”

Felicia was his lawyer who he’d worked with for years and had helped with the last house he’d bought. “She did all this?” he asked as he and Claire spread the paperwork out on the counter.

“Well, we _both_ did. We drew up the papers for your house sale. And then I took it upon myself to get a home inspection, also in that pile. I went out on a limb and worked out a deal with the seller that Felicia checked out, too. So, if you’re willing to go in at the price I mentioned, my friends, you only need to sign on the dotted line. Bank transfers for both transactions are ready when we are. Two week closing. It’s all good.”

Neil’s head snapped up at that. “Like right now?”

“Like right now,” Joe said, chuckling. Claire stood sifting through the paperwork also in shock. “I know you’ll want to review on your own and that’s cool. But if and when you do that,” he indicated all the paperwork, “In a few weeks, you get to keep this.” He dug in his pocket and pulled out the key from the lockbox.

Neil looked down at Claire to check her response. He was having a little trouble figuring out if he’d heard Joe right.

“You mean we could walk out of here pretty much owning a house?” Claire asked, almost ashen.

“That is very correct.” She let out a long, slow breath. “Hey, I gotta make a few calls. Believe it or not, I do have other clients waiting to experience my top-tier service. I’m going to pop out front for a bit to take care of business and you can chat about it. And I can give you a ride afterwards if you need to get back before Sam wakes up.” 

He dangled the key once again before putting it back in his pocket and heading toward the front door.

* * *

When they heard the door close, Neil turned around and slumped heavily against the kitchen island.

“That happened right?”

“I thought things were moving fast before, but this?” Claire said. She still had one of the contracts in her hand skimming the contents. There were a few sticky notes with messages or explanations from Felicia about some term or clause. “Felicia definitely knows you pretty well. Look at this note,” she pointed out.

Leaning over, Neil read a message from his lawyer noting a zoning law preventing tall obstructions. He was pretty particular about his views.

He stared at Claire who continued to read through the document. “How are you calmer about this than I am?”

She looked up, finally taking in how rattled he was from all the developments. She laughed. “I guess unlike you, I know how to roll with the punches. You already surprised me by showing me the house. I may as well go along for the ride.” She nudged one of the packets toward him. “We should split this up. You need to look over the contract for your house.”

Neil absently took the papers, marveling at the ability of the woman next to him to adjust. “Wait, can we step back for just a second.” Claire looked back up at him. “So you’re saying we’re doing this? If we read through this and it’s all in order, we’re going to buy this house together?”

A frown appeared on her face. “Isn’t this what you wanted? Don’t tell me you’re having cold feet.”

“No!” he assured her. “No, it’s just a lot to process.”

Dropping the papers to the counter, she turned to him and smirked. “So it’s fine if you to surprise me, but you can’t handle a little bit of a bombshell? I think you’re shook because Joe and Felicia one-upped you. Poor baby.” She laughed and nudged the hand holding his contract. “Now get to it.”

He took a deep breath and calmed himself. They really were doing this. He hadn’t let himself get too hopeful, but now that everything was starting to fall into place he couldn’t help being overwhelmed.

“Just one more thing,” he said. He didn’t miss the exasperation in her expression.

However, that turned into surprise as he dropped the contract and pulled her into his arms. He kissed her soundly, then deeply and passionately. She also dropped the papers she’d been reading to wrap her arms around him and pull him closer. When they’d had their fill, they simply stood in each other’s arms, breathing in and out and grinning like idiots.

“This is going to be all ours in a few weeks. I can’t wait.” He rested his head against hers for a few moments before stepping away and more calmly picking up the papers in front of him.

For the next twenty minutes, Claire went through the contracts for the new house, checking the contingencies and reading over all the items she’d learned needed special attention. Neil focused on the contract for his house, which was more straight forward. They then both checked out the home inspection documents and appraisals and pulled up an email from Felicia that Joe had forwarded with a few extra explanations.

Neil checked the drawer for any more papers they were meant to review and found none. However, he did find a pen rolling toward him from the back. He picked it up and twirled it in his hand.

“So …” He turned to Claire and waved the pen at her. “Do you want to do the honors?”

She stared at the pen and then back at him. “I think you should. Your house and then ours.”

Hearing that from her got his heart racing. “Our house. I love that.”

“Me too,” she said, grinning at him. She pushed his contract toward him.

Smiling at her, he took the papers and signed in the places Joe had indicated. Then he signed the other contract on the counter before pushing them back to her and offering her the pen. She took it from him and signed as well.

“Neil, I think we just bought a house?” Claire said, teasing him.

“You know what, Captain, I think we did.”

He opened his arms to her and she fell into his tight hug. They remained that way for a minute or two and then parted, both looking around in wonder at what would soon be there’s.

Neil pulled at her hand and brought her back to him, kissing her softly.

“You're awfully affectionate,” she said when he broke the kiss and he let go of her. “Are you being smug about getting your way, or are you trying to celebrate by making out with me?”

“Me, smug? I would never,” he replied in mock shock. “I hadn't thought about the other option, but if that's where your mind went …”

Her brow rose at his challenge. “Is that you saying you’re game?” She inched toward him, predatory gleam in her eye.

They’d piled the paperwork back together, which Neil now picked up. “You better behave or I might take all this back,” he said waving the papers around. He backed away from the kitchen island and Claire stalked behind him.

“Is Neil Melendez really playing hard to get?” They circled each other in the kitchen. Claire grinned wickedly at him while Neil enjoyed the joy of the moment. Not anticipating the move, Claire grabbed the bundle of pages from him and took off.

Neil paused, shocked at her playfulness and her thievery. A few beats later, he ran after her.

She took him on a chase around the house from one room to the next. On the track, he’s definitely quicker than her. But she’s nimbler and could turn on a dime. He loved hearing her peals of laughter as he almost caught hold of her shirt before she doubled back through the kitchen.

“Too slow, Melendez,” she shouted as she raced up the stairs.

He followed her and they played cat and mouse through the bedrooms. Finally, he cornered her in the master bathroom after a fake-out by the walk-in closet.

Slowly pushing her farther into the room, he grinned at the flush to her cheeks and brightness in her eyes from all the exertion.

“Gotcha.”

When she had nowhere else to go, she backed into the sink and he followed. “Still wanna make out?” He slid his hands around her waist and felt the satisfaction of her pressing herself to him.

She pretended to think about it. “I don’t know. You were acting like such a prude that I’m not in the mood anymore,” she teased.

“Is that so?”

Neil slid one hand along her hip and up her side. The other hand slipped underneath the hem of her shirt. Hearing a low hum of satisfaction from her, he slipped the papers from her fingers that she still grasped and placed them on the countertop. He lavished a string of kisses along her neck, catching a content smile on her lips.

“It’s too late,” she tried arguing, though not convincingly with both arms around his body. “We wasted too much time fighting about it. Joe’s going to wonder where we are.”

“Joe’s not the boss of me,” Neil said. “If I want to make out with my gal in what will soon be our house, it’s my prerogative.”

Claire giggled. “I’ll be sure to tell him that when he comes looking for us.”

Sure enough they heard a door open and close downstairs and Joe’s booming voice calling for them. Claire flashed an I-told-you-so look his way and slipped past him. He grabbed their signed paperwork and followed her out. A few moments later, they descended the stairs looking a little winded and disheveled. They found Joe in the kitchen having come from the backyard looking for them.

“There you are!” He took in their flushed faces and semi-heavy breathing from their earlier exertions – both before and after they landed in the bathroom. “Don’t tell me you two were fooling around in these people’s house! How am I supposed to explain that?”

Neil dropped the paperwork on the kitchen island. “You tell them that the new homeowners were just breaking it in.”

Joe grabbed the documents and checked for their signatures in the designated spots. After he finished, he looked up at Neil and grinned.

“Congratulations, brother.” He rounded the island and grabbed Neil for a big bear hug with lots of manly back-patting. Joe moved on to Claire next, engulfing her in a hug and lifting her off the ground in his excitement. “Excellent news!”

When he released her, Claire moved again to Neil’s side. “For the record, we were not making out.”

Joe didn’t look convinced. “Then what were you doing that’s got you so flustered? And where were you hiding when I came in?”

“We weren’t hiding! We were …” Neil tried to think of a better way to explain that they were chasing each other around the house in an effort to – he couldn’t even remember why now.

Rolling his eyes, Joe slid the signed papers into his folio. “You know what? I don’t want to know. Come on, let’s get you back to Sam. I’ll text both your buyer, Neil, and the sellers real quick to let them know the deals are on.”

The three of them strolled slowly out of the house, Neil and Claire taking one last look at the place that would be their own in a few short weeks. He could picture his couch working well in the living room area. They could reuse both their beds in the spare rooms. In a perfect world, Sam’s toys would be in an orderly corner, though that sounded more like a pipe dream. Joe placed the key back in the lockbox and they piled into his car.

* * *

As they drove back to Marcus and Isabel's place, it started to sink in for Neil how much work awaited them now.

He figured they could take their time moving Claire in since it’d be another six weeks before she could get out of her lease. But if they wanted to close as quickly as possible, he had a whole house to pack up. He had a lot of non-child-friendly possessions to find new homes for. Neil brought that up with Joe as they chatted about the most pressing needs for the closing on his house. They agreed to meet Monday when everything would be officially filed. Neil made a mental note to look for a nice bottle of scotch for him – and some chocolates for Felicia who didn’t drink but had an insatiable sweet tooth.

In the short ride over, he’d glance back and Claire to see how much everything was sinking in with her. She seemed calm, though, even giddy. A tiny smile remained across her lips, which made him want to kiss her again and again.

After thanking Joe profusely and saying goodbye, Claire used her key to the house to let them in. Of course, they went straight to the room where Sam slept. Sure enough, Sam’s wiggling indicated they’d timed everything right and would be greeting a drowsy toddler soon.

Upon opening his eyes and seeing Claire, Sam immediately perked up and reached for her; she scooped him up without hesitation. He lay his head on her shoulder and began a groggy conversation peppered with a few recognizable interpretations of “car” and “turtle” meaning the stuffed animal he traveled with. As Neil wiped the little boy’s damp brow and smoothed his messy curls, he wondered if Sam relayed some fantastical dream or was just telling Claire about his plans for the day.

Isabel snuck into the room behind them. “I thought he’d be awake soon. You three are so in sync,” she joked. They both watched as Claire rocked Sam, chatting casually with him as he babbled on.

“Is Marcus still sleep?” he asked.

Isabel laughed. “Like the dead. I had to make sure he was still breathing.” She stifled a yawn and stretched.

“Why don’t you go back and join him. We can let ourselves out and you’ve been on duty all day.”

“I will not fight you on that. That’s what lazy Saturdays are for. I just heard you on the monitor and wanted to check in.”

Although they definitely had big news to share, it could wait until they’d had a little time to process it themselves. Isabel didn’t seem to pick up on anything as she reached around him to give Sam a kiss on the cheek. The little boy waved goodbye back to her and then returned to his very important conversation with Claire.

Isabel grinned. “Those two.”

“I know,” Neil said joining her amusement. “Thanks for subbing in.” Isabel waved him off and retreated back to her bedroom.

Neil grabbed Sammy’s turtle, which finally drew the boy’s attention to him. His little hand reached for the toy and then he began regaling Neil with a story about the turtle.

“He has a lot on his mind today,” Claire said, laughing as she handed him over so they could chat.

“Is that it, Sammy? You have some deep thoughts you need to share?” Sam smiled and nodded at the question. Turning to Claire, he said, “maybe we could show him our new developments too.” Ever since they’d left the house, he’d let himself envision Sammy running around the property and making it his own.

Claire shook her head at his excitement. “The house isn’t even ours yet. I don’t think we should just barge in even if we do know the combination to the lockbox.”

“I wasn’t going to barge in. We can check with Joe. We’ll only be a few minutes,” he argued as he saw her gathering Sam’s shoes and sweater.

Claire took a seat on the bed and gestured for him to pass over Sam so she could put his shoes on, which he did. “Go ahead, then. I know you can’t help yourself.”

Neil grinned and whipped out his phone to check in with Joe who gave the thumbs up. He’d booked the entire afternoon for the viewing not knowing their schedule.

“We’re good,” he reported. “Let’s go!”

“You’re like a kid,” she joked. “Sammy your Tio is being very silly right now.” Sam repeated what she said as best he could, and Neil went to tickle him.

“Oh, you Brownes are ganging up on me, huh?”

“It’s our favorite pastime,” Claire replied, setting Sam on his feet. The little boy immediately went to tackle Neil and tickle him back. “You get ‘em, Sammy,” Claire said egging him on.

Neil dramatically toppled over and let Sam climb all over him.

Sighing, Claire picked up the stuffed turtle again and got to her feet. “Children, let’s get out of here. We’ve got a house to check out.” Neil nodded and scooped up Sam to follow her out.

It took only five minutes to drive over to the other neighborhood, though he got a little turned around taking the street route rather than the walking path. When Neil pulled into the driveway and everyone shuffled onto the front lawn, Neil felt something very different than the first time he and Claire had stood there about an hour before.

This is their home. _Theirs_.

Claire prodded Sam up the path to the front door and Neil followed, retrieving the key and opening the door. He eyed her before stepping across the doorway.

“Don’t even think about it, Melendez. Or I’ll be dargging _you_ over this threshold in a body bag.”

“Wow, harsh!” Neil said, laughing. “You see how she treats me, Sammy?”

"Uh, don't bring him into this. We very graciously accommodated you by sitting out in the hot sun for a boring baseball game last month."

"Hey, Sam had a great time."

But Sam wasn't interested in their argument, too busy looking overwhelmed by the high ceilings and all the space. With Claire’s small apartment and the relatively modest daycare rooms, he wasn’t used to being able to run around inside a house rather than outside. When Claire set him down on the ground, he stood staring up at everything while holding on to her leg. Then he looked up at Claire who encouraged him to go explore, and the little boy took off running.

“Have at it while you can, buddy, before the ‘no running in the house’ rule is in effect,” Claire shouted at him as she followed. Neil trailed behind, marveling at how fast the kid could be when he set his mind to it.

They went from room to room, showing Sam each part of the house and experiencing it anew. He climbed up on the built-in bench in the kitchen area by the back door and stared out the window pointing at some bird or squirrel. He ran back through the family room and then over to the hallway behind the stairs. He didn’t seem particularly interested in the living room at the front of the house, which they hoped would bode well for making it an office.

When they carefully let him climb the stairs himself, he again took off across the small bonus space at the top to the bedrooms. He liked running back and forth between them through the bathroom, although one bedroom in particular he kept circling. That settled which one they’d make his. And when they let him loose in the master, like his sister, he gravitated toward the big tub and tried to climb in.

After coaxing him from upstairs, they took him outside into the backyard, and surprisingly, he seemed much more tentative. He looked quizzically at the pool, staring at it from the porch before turning his sights toward the open space. Claire took his hand and walked him around the yard, pointing out the big trees and the flowers and the small herb garden on the side. Neil could see the fascination on the little boy’s face as if he’d also started grappling that this was all his too.

They explored the entire area with him and then settled again on the patio bench watching Sam play with a couple cars that Claire found in her purse. They weren’t yet ready to leave.

They’d come a long way since that tragic night when everything had changed for all of them.

He’d been healing from the loss of another relationship while denying a forbidden attraction to his resident. An attraction that had been simmering since he’d met her, really. That night he’d only wanted to be a good friend and mentor yet in his heart he’d already signed up for so much more. It still haunted him that broken expression on her face when he’d found her at the scene of the accident, holding Sam as if he’d disappear too.

And look at them now, openly in love, buying a house together, raising a family. That anguished, haunting vision he'd begun to replace with images of her smile when she looked at him and Sam together.

He put his arm around her and felt the satisfaction of her leaning into him as they continued to watch Sam play at their feet. It settled in at once, the assurance, the calm around him, the rightness of where all the pain and loneliness and heartache had led him.

“I can’t believe this is our life now,” he said to Claire, squeezing her to him.

“I can,” she immediately replied. Then she took his hand in hers. “This is just the beginning.”

_TBC ..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few funny tidbits and one less so: I don't know much about buying a house outside of what I see on HGTV so hopefully that part isn't too inaccurate. It was fun to do a makeshift map to visualize things though! Also, when asking a friend about the school district question, she reminded me that Nicholas Gonzalez and I grew up in the same city, graduated the same year, and almost went to the same college (I, however, like to think I dodged a bullet on that last part).
> 
> This story was a real lifeline this past week. Washington DC is a pretty crazy place to live right now. I'm glad I had this story to retreat into so I could peel myself away from the TV while hunkering down. Here's hoping that's the most dramatic thing 2021 has to offer!


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is, finally! 
> 
> I can't thank you enough for making it to the end and being so patient with me as I got through these many words (which as you can see is a very high count). I started writing this almost 2 years ago and posted it in a time of a lot of ups and downs personally and in the world. I'm so grateful to everyone who simply kept reading each chapter or leaving kudos or a comment to show your support.
> 
> I have many more stories to get out there that I hope to keep working on as long as folks are reading. Thank you for being such a wonderful community and keeping us writers motivated and inspired.

The guests were coming and going in waves. From what Claire could tell, though, everyone was having a pretty good time. 

Even though she and Neil had tried to keep the guest list reasonable, there were a lot of people milling around. Many of their friends and colleagues hadn’t been by since they’d finished renovating, and this party was as good an excuse as any to drop by. Looking around, she had to wonder who’d been left to run the hospital with so many of St. Bonaventure in one place.

She dodged a stream of kids who ran around the backyard playing some kind of game. A group of people sat on the patio having a raucous conversation while others lingered around the pool. Neil and a few of his friends stood by the grill where they’d spent most of the day trying to one-up each other’s cooking skills. Claire ignored their bickering as she wandered back into the house.

The splashing from the pool could be heard from the kitchen where a good number of people lingered. Those who’d opted to stay indoors sat at the dining room table or living room, enjoying glasses of wine or beer, punch or water as they ate or snacked. Either her or Neil or one of Neil’s family members would come by periodically to replenish the trays of food laid out on the kitchen island and table.

The older folks preferred the dining room table, mostly Neil’s family enjoying and monitoring the food that many of them had brought or prepared in the kitchen. His mother in particular had been doting over Gabi and helping her with a puzzle as people sat around chatting. Neil’s sister had taken her job refilling the ice coolers very seriously, but she’d declared herself on a break. Claire stopped to check Gabi's progress and praise the great job she was doing while making sure Neil's mom remained comfortable. 

While various clusters of people sat around the large living room chatting and relaxing, a more subdued group gathered around the sitting area at the front. Claire returned to her spot on the couch in front of the window. Sam sat with Park as he recounted some colorful story. Audrey sat stretched out in a chair with a tumbler of bourbon, interrupting every few minutes with a funny remark. Morgan sat on the arm of the couch on the other side of Park shaking her head over his story while Shaun looked on amused from the chair beside them. Isabel and Marcus were lingering in the kitchen to refill their plates with food. They accosted Neil as he brought in more food from the grill.

The front door burst open and a string of people ran in with bags in their hands.

“Finally!” Neil said, greeting them at the door and directing the boisterous couriers to the kitchen with a stash of drinks to add to their low reserves.

“You wouldn’t have had to send reinforcements if you’d bought extra drinks like I suggested when we were at the store,” Claire replied. “Right Sammy?” Sam tore his attention from Park at hearing his name.

Neil rolled his eyes and joined her on the couch. “And where were we going to put all that stuff? I was more worried about whether the new furniture would make it here in time or if we’d just have to throw some pillows on the floor for our guests.”

“Replacing the furniture was my responsibility. I assured you it would be fine and it was. Plus, we have a whole garage to store stuff.”

Morgan smirked. “If there was any doubt that domesticity would change you two,” she mused. Neil grinned and put his arm around Claire. “And stop dragging poor Sam into your arguments. It’s enough that he has to put up with the two of you day in and day out.”

“Claire has to do that because Sammy’s almost always on my side.” Neil reached over and ruffled, Sammy’s curly mop.As usual, Sammy grinned and then swatted Neil’s hand away. Claire made a note to suggest Neil take the lead on getting the boy a haircut.

At 25, their little boy had grown into a tall, lean young man with an easy smile and generous laugh. His stature reflected years of playing soccer, although he’d given it up in college when it became too hard to juggle with his band. He’d taken after Neil’s sense of style, always impeccable and sharp, though more casual. And no one would deny Claire’s influence in his reputation for both kindness and cleverness.

Claire couldn’t be more proud of the amazing young man she and Neil – and their whole extended family – had raised.

“Aunt Morgan’s got a point,” Sam said.

Claire turned to him, shocked. “Way to abandon me! I think I might take this whole party back.” she teased. Sam leaned over and kissed her sweetly on the cheek to appease her.

“Fortunately for you, Sammy, this party is my operation.” Then Neil leaned over and kissed Claire sweetly on the cheek to appease her too.

Ever since Sam’s very first birthday, he and Claire would celebrate together and Sam’s 25th birthday was no different. Neil insisted on handling all the plans each year as a fitting tradition he’d say.

“I don’t know why I put up with you two,” Claire said. Of course, the loving grin she gave the both of them said precisely why she put up with them.

Before either of the men could reply, the doorbell rang. Sam went to open the door being the closest. A young man and woman around his age came tumbling in bearing presents.

“It’s about time you got here, Tee” Sam said, laughing as he hugged the young woman, Theresa, also his best friend. He turned to the small group looking at the new arrivals. “This is Tee’s cousin, Derek, who just moved here from L.A. for law school.” Everyone greeted the newcomers warmly.

Derek waved at the group looking a little intimidated. Tee gave the group a hearty hello and went over to hug Claire and wish her a happy birthday. She guided Derek over to the empty spot on the other end of the sectional couch.

“We got held up getting out of Oakland. It’s always crazy when there’s a baseball game.”

“Oh yeah, I forgot about that,” Neil said. “Sam and I are driving up in a couple of weeks for a Saturday game but we’re going to make a day of it so we can hopefully miss the worst of the traffic.” 

“Smart,” Tee said. “So what did we miss? I told Derek this was the place to be if Dr. M. was on the grill.” Neil raised a beer in her direction at the compliment.

Claire nudged Sam as he retook his seat next to her. “Are you going to feed your guests? Offer them a drink?”

Sam rolled his eyes. “Tee knows where the kitchen is.”

“But maybe her guest doesn’t,” Claire insisted.

“Then Tee can show him.” Claire’s expression made it clear she didn’t appreciate that response.

“I’m fine,” Derek said. “There’s plenty of time to grab something, and I’m happy for the chance to meet everyone.”

“You’ll regret that,” a male voice called from the back of the room as he wandered over. The heckler was followed by another boy and girl.

Claire chuckled at Manuel’s teasing, wondering when he’d gotten so tall and muscled. It seemed like only yesterday that she’d been holding him in her arms as a tiny baby. The latter two still surprised her with how similar they looked, almost like twins though they were 3 years apart. Aisha’s curly hair was piled on top of her head, probably after a day sitting by the pool. Adam’s stocky frame was hidden under a huge t-shirt and sweatpants he’d changed into before they’d gone on their beverage run. They were holding a couple of pitchers of punch and enough cups to accommodate their new guest. They took seats on the floor.

“Now you’ve scared the poor guy,” Sam said.

“I’m just glad that some of my kids have manners,” Claire teased.

Sam waved her off. “Manny’s just trying to get on your good side for when we kick him out of our apartment for being such a slob. He can move back in here and keep you company.” Manny shrugged, grinning behind his cup as he took a sip.

They all devolved into smaller conversations, Claire content to sit quietly and let it all float around her. Morgan and Shaun wandered in and out, checking on their teenage kids frolicking in the backyard. Sam finally led Tee and Derek to the kitchen to get some food. He wandered back a few minutes later having stopped off to also make sure Neil’s elderly mother was comfortable. Neil disappeared for a bit to make sure Joe, Tony, and Miguel hadn’t overcooked the burgers. He brought Claire a couple of his Tia’s tamales on the way back.

As he settled back in, their eyes met briefly and she knew they were thinking along similar lines: how lucky they were that this was their life.

“You good, esposa?” he asked.

Even though he knew she hated pet names, she’d made excuses to herself for why she allowed this one, the Spanish word for wife. Technically, it’s a description of fact, he’d said to her after they’d gotten married. When he offered to call her ‘wifey’ instead, she relented.

“I am,” she assured him, briefly taking his hand and squeezing it.

* * *

Sam took in the crowd that had gathered around him, laughing, eating, and basically enjoying themselves.

The last he checked, there were a lot of people in the backyard enjoying in the pool, mostly the families of the many St. Bonaventure staff he’d grown up with. The occasional outburst of Spanish reached his ears from the Melendezes hanging out at the dining room table. The “Doctor Crew” – Aunts Morgan, Audrey and Iz with Uncles Alex, Shaun, and Doc Andrews were talking with his uncharacteristically subdued parents.

His mom looked beautiful as always. Her long curly hair streaked with gray was pulled back, showcasing her bright eyes, lined from many years in a home filled with laughter. Her hands, curled around a wine glass, still seemed strong and precise, befitting of the nationally renowned surgeon that she was. Everyone knew that she'd soon be tapped as the next president of St. Bonaventure when Audrey Lim finally retired. Given how much his aunt talked about traveling, that'd be sooner rather than later. 

When he wasn't idly caressing her arm, his dad would periodically lean over to whisper something in his mom's ear to make her smile. Although he kept threatening to retire, Mom still hadn't managed to get him to step away from the O.R. fully. He'd been teaching more the last few years, but he could be found on the regular surgical schedule on any given week. After they'd had Manny, he'd really stepped back from the fast-track at the hospital, preferring to coach soccer teams and be home with his family than oversee a bunch of dramatic, unruly doctors as chief of surgery. He still proudly had a full head of hair, all gray now and a regal, polished elder statesman look that turned many a head. His mom liked to tease him about it whenever she had to chase some woman away from him.

He hadn't meant to stare, but he couldn't help it when it came to his adorable parents. Yet some commotion returned his attention to the argument erupting in front of him from the younger people in the crowd.

“You are too the worst snorer out of all of us,” Adam said to Aisha.

“No way! Sammy is the worst snorer. Everybody knows that.” She turned to him. “You could wake the dead with those snores. Except most of the time, it was just the rest of us in the house.”

“You’re pretty loud too, Sis,” Adam added.

“Hey, I’m not denying that I snore. I just know I’m not as loud as Sammy.”

Neil and Claire looked at each other and laughed. “I think Manny’s the only one who knows how to sleep quietly among all of you,” Claire offered. “You’re all pretty loud.”

“Nice deflection, Mom,” Sammy said, kissing her cheek again.”

Adam scoffed. “Such a kiss-up! You better be glad it’s your birthday or I’d so be making fun of you.”

“And you better be happy I’m letting you have my room while I’m traveling, Squirt.”

“You know better than to get in between Claire and Sam,” Neil said to Adam. “Twenty-five years on and they’re thick as thieves.” Sam didn’t mind being called out, and he knew his mom didn’t either.

“As you know, Pops, I have enough charm to go around. I learned from the best.” He went in for a high-five and Neil immediately complied.

Claire shook her head. “Which ones of us are thick as thieves again?”

“Don’t get them started, Mom,” Manny said, grinning.

The sound of pounding feet turned the corner and a girl-shaped torpedo landed on Neil worming her way between him and Claire. “Is it time yet?” she announced.

“Hello to you to,” Neil said, adjusting to make room for Nathalia – or Nate as everyone called her. “Nathalia Melendez-Browne, you are way too old to be pouncing on us, mija.”

“I’m the only one still left in the house, Papa, so that makes me kid enough to get away with stuff.”

“I’ll remember you said that the next time you break curfew, kiddo,” Claire said, fluffing the girl’s puffy ponytail. Sitting next to each other, the resemblance between them was uncanny, save for Nate’s deep brown eyes.

Sam turned around from where he sat. “Where have you been hiding, Brat?” he teased, grinning at his little sister. “It’s my birthday, and I was starting to think you don’t love me.”

Nate rolled her eyes. “Whatever. I’ve been the MVP of this party. You haven’t seen me because I’ve been busy making sure your party doesn’t suck and that people don’t go hungry.”

“So, you don’t live in the madhouse with Tee and the rest of the crew?” Derek asked.

“Oh no,” Nate said. “As thrilling as it sounds to share a space with those slobs. I’ll sit tight here with Mom and Pop where I have the run of the place. Well, I will after we get rid of Manny full-time,” she directed to her brother.

“Oh, but you’ll miss me, Natey,” Manny said. “Whose gonna jam on the guitar with you when I’m gone?”

“Mom, of course,” Nate said, looping her arm with her mother’s next to her and flopping her head on the older woman's shoulder.

“Wait, so who _does_ live at the apartment I’m crashing at this weekend? I should probably get that straight.”

“Like any good band, there’s the original lineup and then people get swapped in and out,” Adam said. “Right now, it’s me, Aisha, Sam, and Tee. But when Sam and Tee leave, Manny will take his room. Billy and Marney have their eyes on my room for next year. And Nate, too, probably, but I think they should stay on campus their first year of college.”

“Not me,” Nate said. “I’m breaking the cycle and going to college on the East Coast. Or at least not in the Bay Area like the rest of you losers.”

“So you’ve threatened. We’ll see.” Neil said. “Where _are_ Billy and Marney?”

“Out by the pool with the cool kids,” Morgan answered, having gone out periodically to check that her kids weren’t getting into trouble. “Billy’s got a crush on somebody out there. He’s not telling me who. Marney’s being his wingman, I guess,” she said to Shaun, referring to his daughter.

“I know who it is,’ Shaun said. “But I’m not allowed to say,” he added.

Alex laughed. “Marney told you, didn’t she? Oh, that’s gotta be killin’ you, Morgan.”

Shaun looked as if he didn’t want to respond. “I’m respecting their autonomy.” Morgan tried to stare him down, but Shaun simply ignored her. He’d gotten very skilled at that after all.

“You do have one point, mija. It _is_ time for the main event. You want to help? I’m gonna need you and your Tia Gabi for this part.” Nate hopped up and Neil followed her out of the room. Isabel and Marcus came over to take his spot, Isabel on the couch and Marcus sitting on the arm eating from a full plate of food.

“Tee didn’t tell me you had so many siblings,” Derek said to Sam. “And it’s nice that you all get along.”

Sam shook his head. He’d known Theresa “Tee” Hinojosa since they were kids at daycare - went to school with her, started a band with her. He knew her well, and he wanted to laugh at how sneaky and mischievous she could be.

“Tee, you’re supposed to be my best friend. How could you bring your poor cousin over here without giving him the lay of the land? The poor boy is probably so confused.”

Derek did indeed look very confused.

“Hey, some things are best experienced first-hand,” she said, grabbing some chips from the bowl on the table. “Besides, I didn’t have the chance to do a full flow chart. Y’all really should invest in some sort of handout for the uninitiated.”

“She’s not wrong,” Marcus said, still picking at his plate. “But to help you out, those two,” he said pointing to Sam’s roommates Aisha and Adam, “are ours,” he explained gesturing to him and Isabel.

“Oh, ok,” Derek said. “So, not siblings. Like cousins.”

“Sure,” Aisha said, grabbing her brother’s cup to drink from over his protests.

“Are you Dr. Claire’s brother?” Derek asked, borrowing Tee’s name for his mom.

“He does act like it sometimes,” Claire teased. Marcus shrugged, not denying it.

“Thankfully, Mom officially only has one amazing, handsome brother whose brilliance is unrivaled, right Mom?” Sam said. “Which makes you forever Captain Claire of the U.S.S. Sammy as Pops likes to say.” Claire looked exasperated for a moment before breaking into a grin.

“See? Kiss-up,” Manny said, laughing.

Sam turned back to Derek. “That knucklehead,” he explained pointing to Manny, “and Nathalia who just left with Pops are actually my niece and nephew. But Doc and Auntie Iz were always close by. It’s a very long story.”

“And to round out the story,” Aisha said, “Our Mom and Dad adopted us when we were little after our birth parents couldn’t take care of us. And we all grew up mixed together, kind of like siblings.

“Plus, with Aunt Morgan and Uncle Alex and Uncle Shaun breathing down our necks, we couldn’t get away with anything,” Sam added. “Justin is cool, that’s Aunt Morgan’s youngest kid. But Billy and Marney are troublemakers. You know it’s true Uncle Shaun.”

“I’d call it precocious. Marney’s very smart,” Shaun offered.

“Yeah, which is how she gets into so much trouble,” Park said. “Trust me, it’s a lot easier with grandkids. I spoil them and then give them right back Kellen. If Glassman had made the trip from Florida he’d agree with me about Marney.”

“No!” Claire said, “Don’t put ideas in their heads. “No grandkids right now. I know what Neil would say, but he needs to wait too.” They all laughed.

Suddenly the lights dimmed and a hush fell across the room. The two missing family members came toward them with two small cakes glowing with candles. Nathalia carried one for her mom while Gabi carried another for Sam. Neil kicked off a round of happy birthday that everyone joined.

Sam sidled up to his mom as their friends and family surrounded them, taking it all in. They joined in too, singing to each other and giggling at all the add-on songs after the official rendition ended. His mom’s cheeks glowed with humor and laughter and it in turn filled him with affection for her.

With the two cakes in front of them, calls for them to make a wish echoed around the room.

Claire and Sam stood looking at each other. “You ready, Mom?” he asked.

“You bet, kiddo,” she replied.

They held each other’s gaze, pausing to make a wish. By an unspoken agreement, they took a huge breath and blew out their candles.

Sam was the first to move around the coffee table and take the cake from his Aunt Gabi. He passed it to Manny and gave his aunt a big hug and thanked her for helping make his birthday perfect. She beamed at him, always happy to be a part of anything fun with him. He guided her to the spot on the couch he’d just vacated and Nate sat next to her, telling her something that made them both laugh. Seeing her comfortable, he made the rounds of hugging all of his family and friends.

Claire did the same rounds after giving Nate and Gabi a kiss on her forehead. She moved on to Manny, Aisha, and Adam who’d all been in charge of the cakes. The kids then converged on the kitchen to pass out pieces of the two main cakes and the extra sheet cake to the guests who’d packed into the house.

From his spot by the stairs, Sam could see his dad personally deliver a piece of cake to his mom, looping his arm around her. They stood at the front of the room watching the activity and sharing the decadent dessert full of all her favorite sweet flavors.

He loved seeing them like that. Always the image of love and devotion, still playful and comfortable with each other after a couple of decades of marriage. He and his siblings liked to tease them about how gross they are, but their parents were the best model of loving parents who put family first. It’s a lesson he hoped never to take for granted.

A loud, boisterous voice pierced the conversations in the room. “Speeech!” Joe called from somewhere in the back of the house once everyone had gotten cake and replenished their drinks. Neil chuckled as Claire groaned and tried to hide behind him. “We see you, Claire. Give the people what they want!”

“You don’t count as ‘people’ Joe.” Claire shouted back.

“Don’t be shy, esposa,” Neil said. “What’ll our guests think?” At this point, Joe had started a chant with said guests, demanding a speech from the guests of honor.

Sammy joined his dad at her side. “C’mon, Mom, we can speechify together.” They shared another grin, their expressions telling a full story as if no one else existed in the room. Challenge, teasing, acceptance.

“Fine,” Claire huffed. Joe clinked his glass to hush the room as people squeezed in to hear her words.

“Okay, I guess I should start with a big thank you to everyone for spending this special day with us,” she began, putting her arm around Sam. “For those of you who don’t know, my handsome husband and his speech-loving friend back there started the tradition of Sam and I celebrating our birthdays together. I remember that first time when all my friends surprised me with a cookie cake.”

“I heard I was adorable,” Sam interjected, primping himself dramatically.

“You were very adorable even though you kind of hated me that week for making you wear shoes everywhere.” Everyone laughed, including Sam. “We didn’t move into this house until a few months later so we were squatting at Neil’s swank house that was totally not suited for toddlers.”

“It looked good though,” Neil said. Claire shook her head at him.

“But the next year,” she continued, “we celebrated together again here in this very house and it’s amazing that we’re still here so many years later having made a home with our extended family. We’ve threatened to move a million times, especially when it seemed like we were bursting at the seams with kids and pets and the entire neighborhood hanging out here after school. But we never could bring ourselves to do it because we just love this place too much. I guess I have you to thank for that too, Joe."

She raised her glass to him and he returned the gesture. "Anything for you and my boy over there. I needed him to hook you good and proper so he'd stop being so lovesick around the rest of us." Neil didn't bother to deny it. He'd been smitten and everyone knew it.

Claire beamed as she took in the room. “I’m grateful to all of you for sharing this with us, some of you every year that we’ve celebrated – my wonderful extended family from the Andrews-Barnes crew to my former co-residents and unlikeliest of life-long friends." Audrey, Morgan and Park laughed and Shaun nodded in agreement. I’m grateful for all the Melendezes who made me one of theirs, especially Gabi who finally agreed to come hang out here with us permanently a few years ago.” Nate gave Gabi another hug next to her.

“I’m grateful for my kids. All of you,” she said sweeping her eyes across the pack of siblings and cousins and friends as close as family.

Sam noticed his mom starting to get a little emotional taking everything in. He rubbed her arm and squeezed her with affection. She squeezed him back, loving how he always knew what she needed.

“And of course, there’s my husband who isn’t half bad either,” Claire said with a smirk.

Neil laughed. “Be still my heart, esposa.”

“My love, thank you for doing this every year,” she said sincerely. “And for not making it too romantic and force me to divorce you.” His siblings found that especially funny.

“I aim to please,” Neil said, bowing.

Claire looked up at Sam, about a head taller than her and with features that she told him reminded her of their mother. She’d grown more comfortable over the years talking about Breeze Browne with him, wanting him to know the woman they’d both come from. She’d shared how difficult her upbringing with their mother had been and the mental illness and addiction Breeze struggled with. In the last few years, she’d been able to talk about those years without anger or regret.

“Pretty soon, this one will be traveling the world and living his dream. I can’t say I’m not a little apprehensive of sending my little Sammy out there so far away. But I’m so proud of you,” she told him directly, looking deep into his eyes. “I’m so thrilled to see your love for music lead to opportunities I never had at your age.

“I know this is one of the last weeks we’ll have together before you head out, and I’m going to cherish it. You and Tee and the rest of the band will have a blast playing shows in what is it, 15 countries?” Tee and Sammy nodded. “And of course, call your poor parents every week so we can live vicariously through you.”

Sammy kissed the side of her head and squeezed her again. “You better believe it, Mom. You and Pops will get tired of hearing from me.”

“Thank you for being a great kid. For being kind. For being a great big brother _and_ little brother.” The room chuckled at that. “Thank you for not dropping out of college to be a bohemian musician and give your poor mom a heart attack. And for being even more practical than I could have imagined by getting an MBA before leaving us to become a rock star.” 

Sam had to admit he hadn’t planned that part at first. But he’d been satisfied to build a fanbase in the Bay Area and L.A. while still being smart about managing his band. Tee certainly wasn’t going to be the one to watch their money given how many hours she spent in their apartment composing and arranging.

His mom reached up to softly caress the shaggy curls atop his head. It’s an affectionate gesture she’d done for as long as he could remember. It had soothed him to sleep and in comfort. And it always made him feel safe.

“Happy birthday, Kiddo. I love you.”

A chorus of ‘awws’ filled the room and pictures snapped as Claire enveloped him in one of her signature bear hugs. Sam was going to miss this so much. in fact, everything about his mom he’d miss terribly while he was away.

When he let go, he helped wipe the tears streaming down her cheek. He could see his Pops beaming at the two of them as well.

“Sam’s turn,” Joe said, holding up his newly refreshed bottle of beer.

Sam chuckled. “No problem, Tio. You know I love the spotlight.”

“You don’t say!” Tee shouted from the couch. Everyone laughed – although Tee was the lead vocalist for the band, they did tend to jockey for attention on stage for fun.

He looked around at the large gathering of so many people he loved and had been a part of his life since before he could walk or talk.

“First, ditto to everything Mom said. I, too, am grateful for so many family and friends joining us for our birthdays. It means the world to me. I know I’m grown and all,” he said, squeezing Claire’s shoulders. “But no matter what happens, I will always do my best to be here every year to celebrate with you as long as you’re game.”

Many people in the room held up their drinks to toast him.

“Now, I know Mom’s not gonna like the attention, but I’ve gotta get serious here for a minute. And it’s my birthday so she has to put up with it.” Claire looked at him quizzically.

“You just heard how much she’s going to miss me when I’m traveling. I said when I’m ‘traveling’ not when I ‘leave’. There’s no leaving here for me. This will always be my home, wherever my family is,” he said, gesturing at his siblings and cousins and friends.

“For those of you who have not had the crash course in the craziness that is the Melendez-Browne family, it’s hard to explain how special this is to me. Mom and me, we’re technically orphans. Our mother, Breeze, died when I was a baby. By all accounts, she was beautiful and complicated. She was a musician too. I’m sure in some ways, I owe her for my love of music. Hopefully, I can be a positive legacy for that.”

In some ways, Breeze had helped with that part of his life, too. His mom had connected him with Breeze’s former boyfriend, Tre Mackey, who’d spent his career managing artists. He’d since retired but had helped him and Tee find a great manager who’d booked this overseas tour.

“One moment in time, one choice, and Mom and I end up having only each other in the world,” he continued. “I was just a baby so I didn’t know better. But Mom, she had a whole history with our mother to deal with. In a matter of seconds, she had a baby depending on her and this whole amazing career that she worked damn hard to achieve seemed to be slipping away.

“Yet from everything I heard, she didn’t hesitate. My mom sacrificed what she worked so hard for to take care of me. And then Pops was there taking care of me too. And before we knew it, we were a family. At the end of the day, so many people here came through for her so she didn't have to give up her dreams.

“I remember Mom and Pops’ wedding where I was the best ringbearer in the history of ringbearers,” he explained to more laughter. “Of course, I insisted on being the center of attention and stood at the alter while they said their vows.”

Neil shook his head as the room continued to chuckle at Sammy’s boast.

“I remember Pops taking me to my first day of school because Manny decided he’d make an appearance two weeks early.” Manny shrugged as he chewed a huge bite of cake. The boy had definitely taken after his father – able to eat half his body weight and still look like a male model while running down a soccer ball at record speed.

“Of course, they weren’t Mom and Pops yet. They were C.C. and Tio, nicknames I picked up from Pops early on. But I remember coming home from school and asking why I didn’t have a mom and dad like other kids. And when they explained things to me, I remember so clearly that moment. If what they said was true about moms and dads then that’s what they were to me. I’m lucky I got to choose my Mom and Pops." He shook his head. "No, that’s not quite right. It wasn’t a choice. It was an acceptance of who they’d always been to me."

Sam turned to Neil. “To Pops. My role model and my partner in crime. There’s not a moment I’ve felt that I couldn’t come to you with my questions and problems whether it was about homework or a girl or which shirt goes with which tie.”

“Oh, you know he’s good for that!” Audrey heckled from the back of the room having refreshed her drink.

“Too true!” Sam agreed. “Pops is the best looking dude on the block.”

“On this block maybe,” Marcus said. “Now in my neighborhood, I hold the title.” Isabel rolled her eyes as Neil smirked at him.

“You do alright too, Doc, for sure,” Sam conceded. “But Pops has always been my hero, no doubt.” He turned to Neil again. “I know I just talked about how I didn’t need to choose you. But I know that you chose me. You chose me and never for one second let anyone believe I was anything other than your son. You taught me how to be the best man – the best person – I can be and I’m thankful for you, Pops.”

Both men looked emotional as they gave each other a warm hug, laughing through their teary eyes and bursting with love for each other.

Sam stepped back next to Claire. “And Mom.” He sighed, trying to gather his thoughts and his emotions. “You know it takes something special to be the world’s best sister and the world’s best mom,” he joked. “Now that I’m grown and making tough decisions about my future, I can get a glimpse of what you were willing to give up for me.

“You are so fierce. Whenever I felt scared – whenever I feel scared – I know thinking of you or calling your or crawling up next to you,” he said, snuggling into her to emphasize the point, “will make it better. I had my bratty moments, but I've never doubted that you want the best for me. For all your kids."

“Tee is always saying that anyone I marry is gonna have a hell of a time competing with you,” he joked. “Because I love you more than baseball and candied pecans.” Claire laughed knowing how much he loved his favorite treat. “I love you more than music,” he added, seriously. “My heart is tied to you in a way that I don’t need anyone but you to understand. It means everything to me and always will. So, it only seems right to celebrate my birthday with you every year.”

Claire had long given up trying not to cry. Sam kept his arm tightly around her shoulders and kissed her dramatically on the head as he again helped wipe her eyes.

“But here’s to all the people that got me here. My grandparents and aunts and uncles. My Tia Gabi,” he said, leaning over to give her a kiss on the cheek. “Justin and Billy and Marney. Adam and Aisha, Nate and Manny – my cousins my true brothers and sisters and best friends. And my actual best friend and bandmate, Tee.” The group of youngsters preened and catcalled, Adam bowing and Nate congratulating herself.

“To Pops. Always. And to Mom. My heart.” He raised his glass to toast his most loved ones as the rest of the room followed. A chorus of “here here” and “salut” sounded throughout the room as everyone joined in his toast and took joyful sips from their drinks.

Sam gestured for his Pops to join him and his mom.

"We're so proud of you, Sammy," Neil said. "Your mom and I both." Sam grasped his dad's arm and held firm. 

Claire still struggled to get her emotions under control. She reached up to rest her palm against his cheek. "I do sometimes wish our mom had lived to know you. I'll always be sad about that. But I don't regret anything we've done given our circumstances. You're the best of our mother's legacy. And mine."

Sam felt the tears coming to his eyes again hearing the certainty of her devotion to him. Knowing she felt the same for each of her children and for their dad.

Nothing more needed to be said. As the celebrants toasted and mingled warmly, he privately raised his glass to his parents again – his dad having switched to his favorite whiskey and his mom opting for wine. They clinked their glasses together the three of them.

“Here’s to you, Mom and Pops. You’re the best.”

He wrapped both of them in his arms and held them as if he never intended to let go.

_The End_


End file.
